


Love Dares

by melicitysmoak



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Canon up to 4x14, Dare/Challenge, Drama & Romance, Drifting Apart, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Forgiveness, Hurt/Comfort, Infertility, Love, Marriage, Near Future Fic, Saving relationship, Second Chances, Wanting to get pregnant, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 02:56:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 96,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6405940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melicitysmoak/pseuds/melicitysmoak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if episode 4x15 "Taken" never happened?  Oliver and Felicity's engagement leads to their wedding, and they live HEA in a peaceful Star City with him as mayor... until they begin to drift apart when they keep trying to have a baby but fail again and again due to a slight but unfortunate twist in episode 4x10.  Then Oliver's "big lie" surfaces because of a tragic accident, threatening to end all hopes of saving their marriage.  What would Love dare to do before it's too late?  A series of "dares" commences, as Oliver rediscovers what it means to love and tries to win back the love of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Drifting Apart

**Author's Note:**

> This is a near future fic, diverging from canon at just before episode 4x15, with a slight twist in episode 4x10. The idea for this story takes off from the book "The Love Dare," which was based on the motion picture "Fireproof." The story will basically revolve around a 40-day challenge that a husband - in this case, Oliver - takes on in order to win back his wife by learning how to love her unconditionally all over again. Angst will be unavoidable, but the romance and fluff will definitely not be lacking as the story unfolds. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Arrow, its characters, and the TV series plot. They belong to DC and the CW. I also do not own the book "The Love Dare" and the movie "Fireproof," and I only borrow the basic concept from them from which my story develops. No copyright infringement intended.

Oliver and Felicity never thought the day would ever come when they could settle down. But it did. Finally. They couldn't have been happier.

The League of Assassins had been disbanded by its last and most audacious leader, Nyssa al Guhl, who had managed to find a way to dissolve her marriage to Oliver without violating League rules. With the help of the equally valiant men and women of Team Flash and Rip Hunter's Legends (who are still trying very hard to live up to their name, where-ever and when-ever they are right now), Team Arrow had finally taken down the formidable and seemingly indestructible Damian Darkh together with HIVE – its few surviving leaders having been permanently locked up in the undisclosed, highly secure ARGUS prison facility in the island of Lian Yu with the still arrogant yet powerless magician, where together, they are spending the rest of their lives wondering what went wrong, imagining possible escape in vain, and plotting retaliation day and night only to ever see it fulfilled in their dreams. Entangled in the web of deceit that he had brought upon himself by offering his half-hearted loyalty to HIVE because of his selfish ambition and vengeful quest against the Green Arrow, Malcolm Merlyn finally met his tragic demise in the hands of Darkh's most fearsome ghosts when their final battle with our heroes went down. No one but Thea grieved over his loss, but not for very long.

A couple of months after all loose ends had been taken care of, Felicity at last walked down the aisle on her own towards her handsome groom. Yes, she walked down the aisle because Curtis Holt's bio-stimulator chip that had been implanted in her spine had worked, slowly but surely. She walked down the aisle on her own because her biological father was still in prison (and she couldn't wait any longer to decide whether or not his attempts at apologies were sincere enough for her to even try to petition a judge to let him out for her wedding), and because she couldn't and wouldn't dare choose between John Diggle and Captain Lance who both mean a lot to her, to her fiancé, and to her mother. She walked down the aisle towards an ecstatic, smiling Oliver Queen, who had just been declared the new mayor of Star City after a landslide victory at the polls. She stood, a radiant and beautiful bride, hand in hand with him under a white canopy beautifully decorated with verdant ferns and her favorite flowers, set up in one of the gardens at the Queen Manor, which Felicity had repossessed through Palmer Tech as her wedding gift to him. In the presence of close family and friends and a few campaign supporters, they exchanged promises of forever with tear-filled eyes and sealed their marriage with the most ardent kiss ever, more searing than the heat of the summer sun early that morning.

To say that everyone, who meant anything to either or both of them, had felt very happy for them would be an understatement. In fact, the entire city was very happy for them. The wedding day of Mr. and Mrs. Queen had been a public milestone for Star City – a historical marker of hope for better days to come. It had also been a private milestone for Team Arrow, for it had marked the beginning of more uneventful nighttime patrols as the crime rate in the city went down under the able leadership of Oliver, with Captain Lance by his side as the duly appointed police commissioner. As expected, the city's economy began to bounce back soon after, and the once prosperous city started to regain its former glory once peace and order had been reestablished and lauded throughout the west coast.

It had been right about that time when Oliver and Felicity had decided that it was the perfect moment to start growing their family… despite the fact that their chances for her to get pregnant was only about 50%. It had been almost a year after the ambush where she had been critically injured, just minutes after his Christmas Eve proposal. They were well aware that it was going to be a challenge to have a baby with only one of her ovaries left – the other one having been removed by the surgeons that very night, as soon as her mother had signed the waiver, because one of the bullets that had hit her had badly damaged it, endangering her life due to profuse bleeding. And yet, try they did. They figured that if they had been able to survive the Island, the Undertaking, Slade Wilson and the siege of the city by his Mirakuru soldiers, the sword and fury of Ra's al Ghul, the threat of Vandal Savage, the mystical powers of Darkh, and the treachery of Malcolm Merlyn, then sure! Why on earth would they not even try having a child of their own? They believed there wasn't anything they couldn't do if they did it together.

Almost anything, that is.

After all the life-and-death situations and seemingly insurmountable ordeals they had both faced and gone through as individuals and as a couple, Oliver and Felicity also never thought that the day would come when they would drift apart because they believed that they had "found themselves in each other." But drift apart, they did. Gradually.

They had not noticed it at the onset. It began when disappointment and pain stealthily crept into their marriage as time and again the pregnancy tests turned up negative. Month after month. Petty quarrels became big deals, and they unconsciously trained their hearts to harbor ill feelings and grudges that eventually turned into bitterness against each other. These and the mounting frustration eventually mingled with other pent up emotions they'd been keeping inside, especially since Felicity began convincing (and then nagging) Oliver that they go for the medical and lab tests and fertility treatments that her OB-Gyne had been suggesting for the longest time – to no avail. She had gone on her own and learned that the rest of her reproductive system was perfectly fine, and her doctor encouraged her to keep waiting and not lose heart. That's why she couldn't understand why he wouldn't, for the life of her, agree to undergo the tests like she had, always saying that it wasn't really necessary and that she would eventually get pregnant if they keep trying. She had even raised the possibility of adoption when all else fails, but all she got from him was a shrug of his stately, broad shoulders.

There had been one time when she had yelled at him in sheer frustration, "I don't understand, Oliver! Don't you really want to have kids? With me?" To which, his laconic response was, "I do... But I'd rather wait… and keep trying." She had replied, "I am trying… everything possible. You're not!" He wouldn't talk about his reasons for all these, and she interpreted this as indifference, which angered her even more. The pressure she exerted on him angered him in return, so she eventually gave up trying to convince him to do anything.

Communication gradually broke down. Transparency slowly suffered. Physical intimacy waned until it came to a halt. Only pain and disillusionment thrived. They both couldn't handle this failure. No, not by the Green Arrow or the genius Overwatch! For the first time in their life together – unofficially for the first three years and then officially thereafter – their partnership had failed.

Oliver and Felicity buried themselves in their daytime and nighttime jobs. Their schedules were so full they hardly had any time to spend with each other. As Palmer Technologies scaled greater heights, their marriage sank to even greater depths. As Star City attracted new investors, residents, and tourists, their relationship magnetized only increased tension and discontentment. Through time, their family and friends began to take notice and later resorted to offering unsolicited advice and, for the brazenly bold few like Donna and Thea, even to unwelcome meddling and scheming that only accelerated the downward spiral of their relationship. Even Diggle and Lyla's ship ceased from sailing. To say that everyone, who meant anything to either or both of them, had felt very sad for them would be another understatement.

Oliver only realized how dismal the state of their relationship had become the day Felicity moved her things into the guest room at the bottom floor of the loft. He tried to convince her for a week to come back to their bedroom, but she thought it served him right for her to be the one doing the spurning this time. She figured he needed to know how it felt too, because it hadn't been fair for her to be the only one agonizing over rejection. Oliver did try to woo her back with flowers every day, weekend invitations to dinners or dates that had been subtly turned down, and even tub after tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream that he'd bought intending to lure her into movie marathons in the evenings he had kept open, only to give every tub away to friends whenever their freezer couldn't hold any more. Oh, they still talked civilly somehow… about their day and sometimes about work stuff, when both of them inadvertently found themselves at home early, but those talks were superficial and infrequent. After some months, he just gave up trying.

The final blow that cut them off from each other was the day Felicity found out about Oliver's biggest lie.

Samantha's death in a vehicular accident in Central City had at last forced Oliver to confess to her that he had a son, whom he had been keeping secretly from her several months prior to their wedding, a few months even before he had proposed at the tree-lighting event. Samantha had remarried sometime when Oliver had become mayor, and her husband had already legally adopted William. However, it was in her will that upon her death, she wanted her son to know who his real father was and for Oliver to publicly acknowledge him and grant him his legal rights as a Queen heir. That left Oliver without a choice but to reveal this hidden part of his life to his wife.

Felicity had taken off as soon as he confessed everything to her and begged for her forgiveness. She couldn't bear to be with him, let alone look into his ocean blue eyes that used to captivate her every time. She couldn't take another lie.

It didn't help reading the apology letter that Samantha had personally written to her and attached to the will. No amount of explanation that keeping William from everyone including her was Samantha's idea, or of justification that Samantha had only done this to protect their son – nothing could comfort Felicity upon learning of such betrayal by the man she had vowed to spend the rest of her life with, the man she had thought trusted her for everything… like she did.

Moreover, it dawned on her that Oliver did have a perfectly logical reason for his lack of interest in fertility testing: he already knew he was capable of having children because he already has a son. Felicity loved him, and she had wanted nothing more than to be the mother of Oliver Queen's child (or children), but it hurt like hell that a woman he never even loved had beaten her to it. It hurt her even more upon realizing that he had kept Samantha's trust all this time instead of fighting to keep the trust of his fiancée who had already become his partner for life. All this time.

So, she moved out and stayed with her mother and Quentin for nearly three weeks. She went on leave from Palmer Tech, leaving some of her responsibilities with Curtis and instructing her assistant to cancel all meetings until she got back. Everyone at the lair missed her, but since they were aware that the emergence of Oliver's son and the lie that had accompanied it had been the culprit, no one had the nerve to probe him deeper about what went wrong in their relationship. It had been pretty much self-explanatory. She didn't take Oliver's calls and didn't answer his texts or emails. Oliver was terrified that she was going to leave him for good. He couldn't blame her; he knew he deserved it.

One day, she came back, her bright pink suitcase in tow. But her once bright pink lips were pale, and the glow in her pink cheeks was gone. She told him that she had decided – for the time being – to stay. When he asked her what she meant by "stay," she clarified that she was physically staying in her room at the loft in the meantime, that she would keep up appearances that their marriage was still intact for the sake of their professional and public lives, and that she would continue to help the team fight crime in the evenings because she still cared for the city like he did. However, she had made it clear that this was only a temporary arrangement… until she could figure out what she really wanted to do. She said that she still needed time and space to clear her head, but she couldn't stay away too long because people at her company and people in her city needed her to keep her head in the game.

Keeping up appearances. Time and space to clear her head. Those were the best excuses that she could come up with – quite lame, even for her own standards – instead of admitting to her husband that deep down inside she still loved him. After everything. Despite the hurts and the lies. She still loved him, and that's why it hurt even more. But Felicity Smoak Queen knew that she couldn't live with hurts and lies for very long and survive, perhaps not for the lifetime of marriage that they had vowed at the altar almost two years ago. That she was sure of. And it terrified her to realize that any remnant of genuine love for him, which remained buried alive in the recesses of her heart, just might die in time… forgotten there.

Oliver knew it, too. He had asked himself a hundred times, "How did this happen? How did we get here?" Never had he been this helpless and hopeless. He had never felt more desperate at the threat of any villain or peril. For Felicity, he would fight to the death. But bows and arrows were not the weapons to fight this battle. And he would only fight to the death to have her back if he were sure that she wanted it, too. He wouldn't force her to stay with him. He would let her go. He would, even if that meant the death of him deep inside. He loved her that much.

Nightmares of his past didn't deprive him of sleep anymore. Anxious thoughts of forever losing his beloved wife and partner in life did now. That fear had taken the place of the ghosts that had stopped haunting him ever since he shared his bed every night with her. And only with her. Ever.

Oliver wondered if his love for Felicity was strong enough to win her back. Strong enough to even dare…


	2. Let the Dares Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope comes in the form of a challenge...from a most unexpected source. Oliver accepts the dare to rediscover love.

He didn't see it coming. Especially not from Walter Steele. Even if he had nothing but respect and admiration for the man his mother once loved.

Walter was a man of impeccable taste. The towering, dark-skinned, always well-dressed British banker, who used to be his father's best friend and right-hand man at Queen Consolidated, had made two excellent choices in women – in Oliver's humble opinion. First, it was marrying the regal, refined, and accomplished Moira Queen and standing up to her stubborn and headstrong ways. The second was hiring Felicity Smoak, the simple yet brilliant computer genius and earning her loyalty (which, to Oliver's advantage, led to her joining his crusade in saving the city from destruction and saving him from the darkness and despondency that almost obliterated whatever humanity had been left in him).

Walter was also a storehouse of virtues. Wisdom, patience, integrity, gentleness and a mild-mannered demeanor even at the threat of danger or disaster, and an open and forgiving heart. These would always be among the distinct attributes that Oliver and Felicity think about whenever they remembered or spoke of the man, whom Oliver didn't mind still referring to as his stepfather. Despite the fall out with Moira Queen that led to their divorce, he had supported her mayoral campaign a few years ago, agreed to stake his bank's reputation and resources to salvage what was left of the Queen family's shares in QC when Isabel Rochev attempted to take over using Stellmoore's abundant yet dubiously sourced funds, backed up Oliver's bid for mayor of Star City, and recently, ventured on partnerships with the city government on programs that aim to provide more opportunities for the unemployed. Walter Steele had a magnanimous heart, especially for people who need – not necessarily deserve – second chances.

"Everyone deserves a second chance, Oliver," Walter had said to him just yesterday, and by "second chance," his stepfather clearly was referring to his and Felicity's marriage.

Walter had attended the gala sponsored by City Hall for the business partners of the city government the night before and had pulled Oliver aside, inviting him to have lunch together at Table Salt the following day. The older man hadn't beaten around the bush as soon as the waiter served their respective meals. Walter confessed to Oliver that after attending a few functions hosted by either the local government or private companies where he had run into Oliver and Felicity, he hadn't failed to notice the palpable change in the dynamics between the two of them. Walter remarked that the glow in their eyes for each other was missing, that they barely touched each other, and that they hardly entertained people in public together anymore. Walter had thought it strange at first, because he said that never ever did he think that anything could come between Oliver and Felicity Queen.

But after further probing, Oliver had unraveled in front of this man he respected so much because he felt it was safe to do so. Oliver felt in his bones that Walter cared, just like every member of the Team who, by this time, had already come up empty-handed when it came to solutions to save his relationship with the love of his life. So, Oliver listened to what Walter had to say. The man's second-chances speech was brief, but insightful and comforting. It was basically and obviously intended to re-ignite that spark of hope inside him.

And then Walter pulled out what looked like a thin, leather-bound notebook from his brief case and placed it on the table just as they were capping a hearty lunch with cups of brewed coffee. Walter pushed the notebook towards Oliver and said, "I brought this for you."

"What is it?" Oliver asked, genuinely curious.

"It's something my father passed on to me, sometime before your mother passed," Walter replied. "It's a journal that's already filled… for those who are serious about truly loving someone… even when it hurts." Walter smiled. "It's yours, if you want it."

Oliver stared at the journal in front of him and remained speechless for a while.

"What can it do?" he asked, looking up at Walter with searching eyes.

"It's just a journal, Oliver. You're the one who's going to have to do things for it to work," answered Walter. "You see, this journal is actually a challenge to love unconditionally. It contains forty dares – one for each day – that, hopefully, will help you un-learn the things you've been doing that are tearing down your marriage and re-learn what it means to genuinely love your spouse."

Oliver's eyes narrowed and his forehead creased. He opened his mouth, hesitant at first to utter something, but decided to push on just the same. "Did it help at all? I mean… with you and my mother?"

Walter shifted his gaze from Oliver to the journal. His face suddenly took on a somber look as he leaned back in his chair, pulled back his arms from the table, and folded his hands together and placed them on his lap.

Walter eventually found his words and responded, "After your mother and I separated, I vacationed in London for a while. That was when my father counseled me and encouraged me to try to work things out with Moira and get back together with her. He gave me this journal… said that it had saved his marriage with my stepmother… I didn't even know…"

Walter paused, and then he looked up at Oliver. "I came back to Starling City in the hopes of picking up the pieces of my relationship with Moira. I was determined to win her back."

"Despite everything she had done?" Oliver asked incredulously. He knew that if his old self were in Walter's shoes at that time, he wouldn't have forgiven his mother for all the deceit, betrayal, and atrocities she had caused, not just to him and the family, but to an entire city.

"I truly loved your mother, Oliver. I did," replied Walter. "Sometimes I think I still do. There are days I miss her terribly, and all I have to hold on to are past memories of our good times." Walter leaned forward and placed his right hand on top of the leather-bound journal. "But you, Oliver? You have more than past memories to cling to. You still have the present and the future. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by trying. I did. I tried to do what I can to win her back, and that is why I can move on through life without regret. You know, I was halfway into the challenge when… when Moira passed… so suddenly."

Walter sighed. He took a sip of his lukewarm coffee and then added, "You have a lovely, wonderful woman if your life… son. Go after her. I'm sure you'll agree that she's worth your very best efforts." He grinned.

Oliver took the journal and said, "Thank you. For this. For everything. I truly expected nothing less from you, Walter." The older man nodded with a smile.

They parted with a firm handshake, Walter promising Oliver that he was just a phone call away if he needed him.

Day 1

Oliver stared at the first page of the journal. It contained a quote, which Oliver vaguely recognized as a quote from the New Testament scripture, followed by some instruction for the first day's dare. "Love is patient," the quote had said. Those three words were understandable enough. "Be patient, bearing with one another in love." He then recalled the many times he had shown patience towards his wife, including the times when it hadn't been reciprocated, let alone acknowledged. For a moment there, he doubted whether following through with this dare was still necessary, but he read on.

The dare was fairly simple. That day he was supposed to demonstrate patience to his wife by not saying anything negative at all to her, and that, if in any case he is tempted to do so, he should choose to hold his tongue rather than say something he'll regret. Oliver huffed, almost laughed actually. For the Green Arrow, a dare that easy was almost an insult, considering he and Felicity barely said anything to each other anymore. He thought he would breeze through the day's challenge burden-free.

And it had almost been. Except that, when he and Felicity came home that night from the lair after a busy night of routine patrols, she soon became flustered and irritable. She couldn't find some computer chip that Curtis needed for a project that was due the next day, and she had been turning their small office in the loft into a war zone, desperately trying to locate it. She'd been at it for the last thirty minutes, and had become so frustrated that when Oliver came near to ask if she needed help, she roared at him instead.

"Felici-"

"What do you want?!" she asked angrily. She was clearly distressed, but Oliver didn't think it fair for her to yell at him like that, considering he was only trying to help.

His ears turned a scarlet red and his face flushed. His hands balled into fists and he began rubbing his thumbs against his forefingers. He was about to meet her head-on with a broody growl of his own when he remembered those three words. Love is patient.

Oliver took a deep breath. He managed a half smile, and then raised both his arms, signaling to his wife that he was backing off. He walked away and headed to the kitchen for a glass of cold water. Felicity's eyebrows shot up… and then her eyes narrowed. What had just happened confused her. She had been more than ready to take him on, but her husband had backed down. She chewed on her lip, and her gaze followed him as he walked out the door, across the spacious living room, and disappeared into the kitchen. This time, it was Felicity who took a deep breath and within seconds, she began to calm down.

Day 2

"Love is kind," the next quote from the journal said. Oliver read on, "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted…"

There was a time when he had been ten times kinder and gentler to Felicity. There was a time when he cooked her omelets, gourmet meals, and all her favorite stuff. There was a time when he would pack lunch for her to take to work, open doors for her, offer to pick her up after work, surprise her with her favorite ice cream, give her surprise gifts and weekend getaways, and just give her a relaxing back rub or foot massage at the end of a long day at work or after a difficult mission with the Team. There was a time when he adored her rambles and never once interrupted her from babbling until he could no longer contain his laughter. There was a time when his lips spoke her name affectionately no matter how upset she was at him or at anything in order to calm her down. There was a time when he tenderly held her close anytime he desired, when he tenderly whispered "I love you's" anywhere he fancied, when he tenderly caressed every part of her any chance they were alone. There was a time when he could do all of these acts of kindness and tenderness. Freely.

These days her coldness towards him seemed to be his punishment for taking those freedoms for granted. Especially when he lied to her. And since the day she found out, it had become her turn to take his big and small deeds of kindnesses for granted. It hurt every time.

In addition to not saying anything negative to his wife again that day, he was supposed to do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness. Once again, Oliver thought that the second day's dare was not complicated at all, not for him. However, he had misgivings about whether or not the dare would make a difference, considering that nothing he did – no matter how kind – seemed to matter to Felicity anymore.

But because he promised himself (and Walter) that he would keep trying, he left for work that day telling his driver to pick him up at exactly 11:45 at the lobby of City Hall because they would be passing by Big Belly Burger on their way to his wife's office during lunch hour.

Oliver personally delivered Felicity's lunch to her office at Palmer Tech. He walked straight into her office only to find there was no one there. When he turned around to inquire about his wife's whereabouts, her assistant was already at the door, informing him that Felicity had left for lunch earlier than usual to meet up with a potential new investor who was a friend of Ray Palmer's. He thanked the assistant politely, and when she left, he placed on the desk the brown bag of greasy food that his wife usually craved for. He quickly scribbled a note saying, "Dropped by to bring you lunch. Hope you still get to enjoy it later," and then he signed his name at the bottom. He left, disappointed at the turnout, but pleased that he had accomplished an act of kindness towards his wife after such a long time.

Later that day, he received a text from Felicity. "Thanks for the BBB. You didn't have to."

He smiled at her first sentence. He frowned at the next. He couldn't tell whether she was sincerely grateful or not. Regardless, he decided to text back: "Yes, I did. It's been a while. And you're welcome."

Felicity didn't text back anymore.

Oliver blew air out of his mouth and shook his head. "Two days down, thirty-eight more to go," he thought to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that one, you liked this first chapter, and two, this story makes us feel better despite the bleak future of Olicity in the direction of the storyline that the Arrow and CW writers are now taking, genuine love does find a way. I hope this future fic will help us get through the heartbreak and the angst in the second half of Season 4. Please do let me know what you think of this story so far. 
> 
> This is also a tribute to the character of Walter Steele. I loved him in the first two seasons. Every chapter in this story will feature at least one of the characters in the show, highlighting their influence in the relationship of Oliver and Felicity.
> 
> Although the story covers a 40-day challenge, I'll be fusing two to three dare-days in each chapter to cut down the length of the story, but I promise to write no less purposefully and passionately. Do enjoy!


	3. Dare to Give Up?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first few dares are easy enough for Oliver, but not for Felicity. Would he give up that easily?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took a little bit longer than intended, but here is the next installment for our 40-day dare story. I hope you keep reading. Thank you to all those who take the time to review and comment, especially all the Guests who do. I truly appreciate you; I just wish I could reply to your reviews.

Day 3

Oliver was very excited upon reading the journal entry for the third day. "Love is thoughtful," it said. "I can do thoughtful," he said to himself with a grin on his face.

The day's dare had him contact his wife sometime during the business of the day with no agenda other than to ask how she was doing and if there was anything he could do for her that day. Oliver thought that the chances of Felicity picking up if he called her was nil, so he settled for a simple text that she would most probably read anyway, before even deciding on keeping it in her inbox or deleting it altogether. Hoping for some kind of response – no matter how brief or vague – he sent her the following text message:

"Hi! How's your day? Hope all is well. Anything I can do for you today?"

He waited for an answer all day. It never came.

Still Oliver persisted; in fact, he was so determined to press on that he read up on the dare for the following day in advance. He was sitting in his limo at the end of the day's work, holding the leather-bound notebook, and as soon as he read the next entry, he had Diggle tell the driver up front to make two side trips before heading home.

Day 4

"Love makes good impressions," the journal entry for the fourth day had said. Oliver was supposed to think of a specific way of greeting his wife, a greeting that would show her that he was thinking of her and that she mattered to him. The Scripture quote for the day spoke of "greeting one another with a kiss of love," but he was sure that kissing Felicity – something that he had absolutely been missing and craving for the longest time now – was out of the question at the moment, given the state of their relationship. In the limo the day before, he had thought of two very specific and concrete ways of intentionally and creatively greeting his wife the next day. One led him to a specialty store in the mall. The other led him to a commercial greenhouse on the other side of the city.

On the morning of the fourth day, Felicity arrived in her office and found another fern on her desk, one that matched the fern he had given her before, which was still sitting on the book shelf near the glass window. Beside the plant was a personalized signature red pen with her full, married name etched on it. There was a note written in his penmanship that accompanied his gifts. The note said:

"Have a great day in the office! Here's hoping that red and green still make you smile. Love, Oliver."

This time, Oliver did not expect any response. He just went ahead and did what he had to do. He figured he didn't have anything to lose but had everything to gain just by trying to make a good impression. He was right not to expect anything in return, because once again, no response ever came. "Tomorrow is another day," he sighed.

Day 5

Oliver hardly had any sleep because Green Arrow business the night before had taken longer and harder than expected, with the Team one hero less in stopping a heavily armed smuggling ring at the pier, since Diggle had to stay home with a very sick Sara while Lyla hand her hands full at ARGUS headquarters.

The sun hadn't come out yet, but Oliver was already awake as usual. So, even if the last couple of days had been quite discouraging, he decided to get up and begin reading the "dare diary" (as he had fondly come to call it). He turned on the lamp on his night table and began to read.

The fifth journal entry explained that whatever it is that you put your time, energy, and money into is what's most important to you. Loving someone involves investing in the very person you care about. That brought his thoughts back to when he and Felicity had been living a pretty normal, domestic life in Ivy Town. Back then, he was able to invest all the time, energy, and what little money he was able to scrimp and save from what was left of his trust fund after he had brought her to trips around the world. He took her out on dates, bought her simple to fancy gifts, cooked for her and tidied up the house on days she attended meetings with the board members of Palmer Tech after Ray had mysteriously disappeared (or allegedly died). He wasn't ashamed that he'd even spent time and energy painting her toe nails a few times.

Oliver smiled as he reminisced those times. Those were the times he enjoyed lengthy pillow talks with the love of his life. Those were the times he didn't mind listening to her talk for hours while he gazed on her beautiful blue eyes or her pretty pink lips. Those were the times he opened up to her, one little memory at a time, telling her some of the crazy things he'd done pre-Gambit, as well as a few, carefully selected deeds he'd regretted doing post-Gambit. Those were the times she listened with her heart, resting her head on his bare chest and tenderly tracing the scars on his torso, which became damp with her tears more than once.

They had given each other time, as well as their mutually undivided attention, and allowed themselves to deepen the intimacy of their relationship, which had begun to suffer as soon as they returned to Star City and rejoined the Team. Somehow they were able to revive that intimacy when they got married, but that was short-lived. Keeping the secret of his son from the one person he should have shared it with from the very beginning had ruined everything they had worked so hard to build together. Much as he hated to admit it, Oliver knew that he had trampled on the trust that they had both given time and energy to nurture and grow, and the guilt clawed on his soul ever since he gave Samantha Clayton his word. He knew he needed to regain that trust even if it meant starting from scratch.

"Love invests on who matters most," he had learned on day five.

Oliver looked at the digital clock on his night table and figured he had enough time to whip up a hearty breakfast before Felicity usually leaves for work. He sprung from his bed as if he were the Flash, put on a cotton shirt and sweatpants, and dashed to the kitchen to execute his plan. Thirty minutes later, a scrumptious breakfast for two was set on their table – at least, to him it was still theirs.

Felicity was lured into his delightful trap by the enticing smell of brewed coffee. Dressed for the office in her light pink, sleeveless peplum blouse and matching pencil skirt, she walked straight to the kitchen counter where the coffeemaker was, ignoring Oliver, who had just finished toasting bread. She poured some coffee into a keep-warm flask, intending to take it with her and drink it on the way to work.

As she turned around to leave, Oliver greeted her with a bright smile, "Good morning! I made breakfast. It's your favorite kind of omelet."

Felicity looked behind her at the delightfully set meal on the dining table. Her eyes widened in surprise, and her jaw dropped slightly. She couldn't remember the last time Oliver had made breakfast and served it so attractively like they did in Master Chef. Her thoughts flashed back to their Ivy Town days, especially that night when he had made soufflé and had hidden the engagement ring there to surprise her. For a moment there, there was a tiny smile forming on her face.

But that tiny smile soon fell, and it was replaced by a sullen expression. "I'm sorry," she responded sadly and softly, scratching her left temple as she spoke. "I… I have to go. I have a meeting in twenty minutes with the supervisors of HRD." And then she walked away.

But Oliver was ready. Just as Felicity headed towards the door, he called out, "Wait!"

She turned around and flashed him a puzzled look.

Oliver hurried towards her with a brown bag in his hand. "I packed some for you… just in case you were in a hurry to leave." There was a hesitant smile on his face as he reached forward and offered her the bag.

"No, it's okay. I'm good. You take it," was all she said before she walked out of the loft, leaving him downcast and disappointed.

Oliver sighed. He packed the breakfast in disposable food containers and brought them to the office for his staff to feast on during their morning coffee break.

Oliver didn't give up too easily, though. He did the same thing with dinner that night. He even picked up a bottle of cabernet on his way home and lit candles on the dinner table to make his Italian set menu more special. Felicity came home pretty early, and as soon as she entered the loft, Oliver invited her to join him for dinner before they headed to the lair. Separately.

"Oh… Thanks, but I'm not that hungry," she said plainly, indifference evident on her face. "I'm actually dead tired. Had a full day. I think I'm just going to go straight to bed. I hope… you don't mind if I don't join the Team later?"

"Uhm, it's fine. I'll just put everything in the fridge. If you're hungry later and decide to eat, you can just heat up some of this," Oliver replied patiently, pointing to the food on the table with his thumb. He held her gaze, looking straight into her gloomy blue eyes, expectantly waiting for an even slightly positive response.

But all she said was, "Okay, good night," and then she turned away and headed straight to her room without looking back. Oliver watched her walk away, his chest tightening as he felt sheer disappointment enveloping and wringing his heart. He bowed his head and closed his eyes as another weary sigh escaped his lips.

When he looked up again, however, he was surprised to see that Felicity had turned back and was now staring at him with a confused and somewhat annoyed expression on her face. "Oliver… What's going on?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" Oliver answered with a question of his own.

Felicity took a few steps towards him and answered, "These past few days, I… You've been…" She blinked and then asked confidently, "What's with all the thoughtful messages and gifts? Now it's breakfast… and then dinner. What are you trying to do exactly?"

"I… uhm…" Oliver cleared his throat and shifted his weight between his two feet. Of course, Oliver couldn't tell her about the dares. He didn't want her to misinterpret everything he had been doing. He didn't want to risk her thinking that this was all a game to him. But he had also promised her again and again that he wouldn't lie to her anymore. So, he decided to go with the bottom line – the truth.

Oliver pulled out his hands from his pockets, stood straight, and held his wife's gaze with pleading eyes as he spoke. "I've been trying to show you how much I really love you. Because I still do. And I'm still hoping you would find it in your heart to forgive me and… and give me one more chance. I love you, Felicity. Very much."

Felicity stood frozen and silent as tears welled up in her eyes. When Oliver took a step towards her, she instinctively took a step back, biting her lower lip as a sign of the misgivings that clouded her judgment. As a teardrop slid down her cheek, she said softly yet stubbornly, "Oliver, I've already told you. There's no fixing this. There's no fixing us. It's just a matter of time before I figure out exactly how this has to end amicably… because it has to… for both our sakes. We can't live like this forever. I can't."

"Then don't," Oliver responded just as determinedly. "We can start over."

"We can't start over. Because. It's. Over," Felicity argued emphatically, her voice slightly stronger than before.

"Not for me," Oliver countered just as emphatically but more gently. His eyes had also become glassy with tears.

"Oliver…" His name left her mouth in an exasperated whisper. "We have to let each other go."

"I don't want to let you go."

"Well, you have to. Because I'm already gone."

"Felicity, I can't stop you from leaving, if that's what you want. But don't ask me to stop loving you. Because I never will."

"Love? What is love without mutual trust? I trusted you… with everything. But your choice to lie to me all that time? It shattered trust into a million pieces, and I don't think love is enough to put those pieces back together. I'm sorry, Oliver. Please… just… just let me go and learn to un-love me. Because I'm not sure if I'm ever going to be capable of loving you back. I'm not sure I even want to. Because loving you back again and again despite the lies… hurts too much. And I don't want to keep hurting anymore than I already am."

And there it was – the near-fatal blow that stabbed him straight through the heart. It wasn't because she had rejected him and the love he still offered her; it was because of the stark realization that he was causing her so much pain than he could ever imagine. If only to stop her anguish, he would give her what she asked for and let her go, but then that would, in turn, most certainly be the death of him.

An eternity of silence passed in which neither of them moved a muscle. Neither of them could look the other in the eye. As soon as Felicity turned and walked away, Oliver's tears fell.

He cleared the table without eating a bite of the meal he had lovingly prepared. He had lost his appetite and didn't want to eat alone. Again.

Before he left to join the Team that night, he thought to call Walter Steele. He badly needed someone to talk to, and his former stepfather was more than willing to lend him a listening ear. Their talk had been brief; in fact, his weeping had taken longer. But by the time the call ended, Oliver had mustered whatever hope and courage was left in him to open the dare diary and read up on the next day's challenge in advance.

Oliver had decided that he wouldn't dare give up so easily and so early in the challenge. Walter had suggested that perhaps he just needed to adjust his strategy. So later that night in the lair, Oliver pulled Thea aside after the Team returned from a rather uneventful patrol. He needed her help for tomorrow's dare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know we've all been bearing with the angst in season 4 so far, but it can't be avoided here because it's part of the rising action needed to spice up the story and keep it moving forward. Don't worry, the fluff and romance will be worth the wait... and the agony. As always, it would be nice to hear from you. Thanks for reading and following.


	4. Secret Dares (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver discovers what it means to love his wife even without her knowing about it. He asks family for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terribly sorry for the delay in updating this story. I had a bad case of writer's block - strangely though, only for this fic. But I'm back, and I'm excited about this story again. I hope you are too, and I hope you like how the story picks up in this chapter. Well, here it is.

Day 6

The lair's elevator doors opened and out walked a very confident looking Felicity with a grin wide enough to show off nearly all of her sparkling white teeth. Thea was right behind her, with an even wider grin on her face. She had just accompanied her sister-in-law to an entire afternoon and evening of pampering and beauty treatments, free of charge. Felicity glowed and glinted like the stars as she marched to her work station, the bright lights of her computers shining on her like stage lights.

Felicity and Thea arrived late at the lair, but none of the team members did mind. Felicity spoke briefly with Diggle, raving about the fantastic body massage she got, "courtesy of Thea."

Oliver was more than pleased with his wife's fantastic appearance. Her golden blonde mane cascaded down her shoulders. She had had a Brazilian blowout, so her smooth, silky hair was temporarily straightened, reminding him of the time when she had been her EA at Queen Consolidated – the time when he really had begun to develop feelings for her and an attraction towards her. Oliver also noticed her brightly colored fingernails and toe nails that had been painted emerald green, and he couldn't help but smile at the color she had picked. Oliver's heart swelled with pride at the sight of the most beautiful woman in the world, and his eyes shimmered and sparkled as he gazed at his wife from a distance. He remembered how his secret plan unfolded beginning the night before.

"Oh, come on, Speedy. Help me out here," Oliver had pleaded with his sister after the Team returned from apprehending the suspects of a bank heist the previous night.

Thea had replied with trepidation, "I don't know, Ollie. I don't want to get caught in the crossfire. You know?" She had turned away from her brother and headed to the changing rooms of the lair.

Oliver had followed her, saying, "Please… Thea, I need your help. I'm trying to win my wife back."

Thea had come to a halt, turned around, and sighed. "All right, but I'll have you know that I'm sticking my neck out for you just this once. I already feel guilty having known all this time about your… about my nephew… and not saying anything about it to her. I feel like I've betrayed her trust just as much as you did." Thea huffed and then shrugged her shoulders. "It's been tricky feeling my way around Felicity. I'm still hoping to keep intact what's left of my relationship with the best sister-in-law in the world."

Thea had paused for a while, and then continued. "Ollie, I think I owe you an apology. I remember telling you that you were doing the right thing. You know, keeping William a secret to protect him. On hindsight, I think it was bad advice. If I had only put myself in Felicity's shoes instead of yours back then, I would have-"

"What's done is done," Oliver had interrupted her. "I can't undo my mistake and the damage it has caused. But, now I'm trying my best to pick up the pieces, hoping she'll forgive me and give me another chance."

"Well, I hope she does," Thea had responded. "I sure miss our old Felicity, big-hearted and bubbly Felicity. What do you want me to do?" she had asked.

"I'd like you to take her to the salon and spa tomorrow. Take her to the best one, the one that Mom got us exclusive memberships for sometime ago," he had replied.

Oliver had noticed in the last few days that Felicity's natural brunette colors were already showing at the roots, and he thought that she must have been too busy and too tired to spare some time to dye her hair blonde like she always has. So, he requested Thea to invite Felicity on a girls' day out and pamper themselves not just with hair treatments but also with relaxing massages and beauty regimens. He thought that she needed this special treat because she had been working too hard lately, perhaps also as a coping mechanism in the midst of the tension between her and him.

He had read the journal entry for the sixth day: "Love cherishes." The Scripture text enjoined the husband to love his wife as his own body, and the accompanying devotional explained further that, just as normal human beings make sure that they take good care of their bodies – feeding it and ensuring that it is physically fit – likewise, husbands must do everything they can to nourish and cherish their wives. The dare for the day challenged him to figure out the answer to a simple question: "What need does your spouse have that you could meet today?" Oliver was supposed to identify something that Felicity needed, and then think of a way to meet it in a manner that conveys to her the message that he cares about her and cherishes her more than anyone or anything.

But because Felicity had been unresponsive to the last few dares, Oliver had thought that it would be best to meet her need to relax and be pampered indirectly, hence, he needed Thea to be his accomplice. He specifically instructed his sister not to tell Felicity that he was the one paying for everything because he knew that if she knew, she wouldn't accept the invitation. All he had wanted was for his wife to have a much-needed break from her many stressors, which included him. She deserved it.

By noon of that day, Oliver had received a text from Thea. Felicity had obliged enthusiastically, and Thea had been able to get appointments at their family's favorite salon and spa place that very afternoon.

Oliver was happy and proud of how this dare turned out. He realized that doing things for Felicity out of love and from his heart, and seeing her happy, are worth all the effort he could ever give. And if the best way for him to accomplish some of the challenges is by not meeting her head-on, then he was willing to play it that way. It didn't matter to him whether or not she knows he's the one behind what makes her happy. What mattered to him was that she is. What mattered to him was her.

Day 7

Oliver sat behind his office desk at City Hall. He stared at the journal in front of him, trying to figure out what "Love seeks to understand," meant to him. Prior to his monumental mistake that caused the breakdown in his marriage, he had thought that he had been an understanding partner simply because he loved Felicity and would do anything for her. Except, he did lie to her about a major issue in his life. After that, he was no longer sure if he truly understood her, because clearly, he had overestimated her capacity to put up with his childish choices, thinking that her big-heartedness would allow her to somehow overlook or forgive such a mistake. Worse, he doubted whether his present understanding of his wife could keep up with the rapid pace at which she had been transforming. With the exception of the previous day of pampering, Felicity smiled less and babbled even less frequently. With each passing day, her bubbly personality had been giving way to a more serious demeanor and to occasional mood swings.

Oliver wasn't the only one to notice. Aside from the Team and their closest friends, her staff at Palmer Tech also took notice, but no one dared comment on it in her presence. But the change wasn't just in her countenance and behavior; what was more alarming to the people who cared about her was the change in her outlook. Felicity had become more detached and withdrawn, more distant and apathetic, more wary of people and their intentions. She opened up less, even to Curtis or Donna. What saddened Oliver and the Team most was that it was as if the light inside Felicity was fading, the light that used to light up each of their lives every day in simple ways. No longer was she the beacon of hope that each one of them could draw strength from. With each passing day, she became less and less the teammate they could usually rely on for wisdom and encouragement.

The Scripture text Oliver read in the journal had said: "Live with your wives in an understanding way…" The dare for the day went on to say, "Focus on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you've rarely talked about. Try to understand where she is coming from and discover why she is the way she is today. Think of ways to help her make peace with her past and overcome struggles and issues that weigh her down and affect your relationship."

Oliver closed the journal and leaned backwards in his office chair. He then took his phone out of his coat's pocket and dialed Donna Smoak's number. It took him less than a minute to convince her to have lunch with him. Apparently his mother-in-law had been eager to speak with him about Felicity; she just didn't know how to initiate a conversation.

At exactly twelve noon, Oliver met Donna in the restaurant of her choice in downtown Star City. (She complimented him for not being late.) As soon as the waiter had taken their orders and served their drinks, Donna enthusiastically asked, "So what was it you wanted to discuss with me about our favorite girl?"

Oliver's hands were curled up into fists on his lap under the table, and as was his habit each time he was agitated or anxious, his thumbs were rubbing fiercely against his forefingers. At first, he tried to avoid his mother-in-law's gaze, unsure of what she must think of him after he had broken her baby girl's heart. But when Donna flashed him a warm, encouraging smile, he began to relax.

He placed his hands on the table as Donna said, "Look, Oliver, I don't hate you. I was disappointed that you didn't tell my daughter the truth, yes… and disappointment is really an understatement for how I've been feeling ever since I learned about your… you know… your stupid lie. But I know how much my daughter loves you, and I'm confident she still does. She must have really seen something in you that made her finally give her heart away, and that's something I never thought would ever happen, because of everything she's gone through since… since her father left us when she was a child. You have to understand-"

"I do. I do want to understand," Oliver politely interrupted Donna's rapid-fire, albeit sincere, rambling. "That's actually why I wanted to see you. I want to understand more about Felicity. I thought… I thought you're the best person to talk to," he said.

Donna smiled as her eyes pooled with tears. She reached for Oliver's hand and said enthusiastically, "I knew it! You really do love her, don't you? Now, where would you like me to start?"

Three hours. It had been Oliver's longest lunch "meeting" since he became mayor of Star City. He and Donna talked about Felicity's childhood, about her rebellious teenage years, about her Goth phase, and even about the major heartbreak in college when she hooked up with Cooper Seldon. He was amazed about how much he still didn't know about her, when he had thought he already knew enough.

Had he known how deeply she had been wounded by her father's abandonment and by Donna's perennial absence in her growing up years due to working three jobs just for them to get by, he would have thought twice about a lot of things he'd done in the past that, upon hindsight, might have hurt Felicity but she just didn't bother telling him about how she'd felt. He would have thought twice about running away to Lian Yu after the Undertaking and leaving her – with only Diggle by her side – to deal with the aftermath of a calamity that had taken so many lives, a calamity that almost took hers, too, because she chose to stay at ground zero and help him save the city. He would have thought twice about taking her out on a date and kissing her, only to tell her that he couldn't love her both as Oliver Queen and the Arrow. He would have thought twice about saying goodbye to her – the first time, to challenge Ra's al Ghul to a duel for his sister's life on that cold, snowy mountaintop, and the second time, to stay in Nanda Parbat and surrender to the infamous leader of assassins in exchange for the waters of the Lazarus Pit, again for his sister's life. Had he known how severely Felicity had blamed herself for what had happened to Cooper – only to find out later on that her first love had let her wallow in guilt over his fake suicide – he wouldn't have given the option to lie a second thought.

Oliver realized that after everything Felicity had gone through in life, it was a miracle that she had even learned to trust someone like him. From the very first time she'd met him – that day in her office, when she was chewing on a red pen, and he had given her lame excuses for the bullet-riddled laptop he'd asked her to fix – she had been giving him the benefit of the doubt. Since the day they met at the coffee shop where she handed him the little notebook identical to what his father had left him, and he'd assured her that she could trust him, she had. Every time. Even when he slept with Isabel and Sara in spite of the fact he'd told her he couldn't be with someone he truly cared about because of the life he led. Even when he'd used her as live bait to outthink and outsmart Slade Wilson, dangling those three precious words that gave her false hopes of what they could have been early on. Even when he'd allied himself with the worst villain in the person of Malcolm Merlyn without telling her and Diggle because he had thought it was the best way to protect them. Even when she had left everything – her job, her career, her life in Starling City – to be with him in his adventure around the world, which was meant to discover himself. She had sacrificed a lot for him. She had stood by him through thick and thin, believed in the hero that he could be, despite the dangers and the costs of fighting for their city and for the love they shared.

"How could I have taken all that for granted?" Oliver thought to himself as he sat in his limo after they'd dropped off Donna in her home. It was a poignant realization, but he knew he needed it. Part and parcel of understanding Felicity was allowing himself to be vulnerable, to be humble enough to swallow the bitter pill that he had failed miserably at being the man Felicity needed him to be. A soundless voice echoed in his head: "Oliver Queen, you have failed Felicity!"

Oliver picked up his phone and called his assistant, instructing her to postpone his afternoon meeting with the city engineer and to redirect all concerns to the vice mayor for the rest of the day. He then told Diggle to tell the driver to take them to Iron Heights Prison instead of going back to city hall. When Diggle asked him why the change in itinerary, Oliver simply said that he wanted to visit Noah Kuttler, Felicity's father.

Oliver wanted to understand his wife even more, and for him, this matter was more urgent than the ordinary affairs of the city at the moment. He also wanted to explore what it would take for her to forgive him… to forgive them.

Perhaps it's true what they say, that misery loves company. Because the trip to the prison and the talk with Kuttler was fruitful. He not only came to know his father-in-law better and got his side of the story; he also learned some things about Felicity that only his father had keenly observed in her even when she was young. The two men were able to see a little bit of themselves in each other, helping them to figure out where they went wrong, and why they seemed to have pushed Felicity away instead of regaining her trust each time they offered her a sincere apology. Oliver promised to visit Kuttler again and told him to keep his fingers crossed that the next time would be with his daughter.

At the end of the day, Oliver had gained a new level of insight into his wife's background and behavior. That night, he enjoyed a peaceful, restful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned previously, I intend to feature at least one Arrow character in each chapter and highlight that character's relationship with either Felicity or Oliver (or both). In this chapter, it was Thea Queen and Donna Smoak. Which character would you like to see next? I will try to include your suggestions in the future updates. As always, comments and reviews are most welcome.


	5. Secret Dares (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver continues to take on challenges from the dare diary and contents himself with loving Felicity this way even without her knowledge and without a guarantee that she will reciprocate his efforts. A friend agrees to help Oliver, taking the opportunity to frankly confront him about a crucial issue in his marriage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're as glad as I am that I'm updating this story in less than a week. The chapter is entirely from Oliver's perspective and deals with his own struggles and issues. The Arrow character featured here with him is Curtis Holt. Enjoy the read; this is the longest chapter so far after the prologue.

Day 8

Oliver arrived in his office early on the eighth day, ready for the day's work. His secretary had already placed his coffee on his desk after taking his coat. He took a sip and then sat down behind his desk.

Before he looked at the morning paper and touched any of the letters and documents piled on the mayor's desk, he opened the dare diary and read. The quote for the day caught his attention. "Love keeps no record of wrongs." It went on to explain that when you truly love someone, you can and you will find the strength to "forgive and forget." Oliver read and re-read a particular portion of the text: "Forgiving means that you are willing to release the person you love from the debt he or she owes you, and to let go of ill feelings, as well as the desire to get back at the person for the hurt he or she has caused you. Forgetting does not mean that you will not have any memory of the offense or of the pain it had caused; it means that you will no longer take it against the one who hurt you, and that you are willing to give the other person another chance."

After pondering on those ideas for several minutes, he frowned. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead on the heels of his hands, his elbows fixed on top of his office desk. "This dare is not for me," Oliver thought. "Clearly, it's my wife who needs to read this and act on it. How do I do this challenge?" he further mused. He debated with himself for a few minutes, and then decided to text Walter about it.

Oliver sent his first text message: "Good morning! How do I do Dare #8?"

Walter replied, "Good morning, Mr. Mayor! Which one was it again? Do refresh my memory."

"It's the one where I'm supposed to list three of the most hurtful things my wife has done, then I'm supposed to forgive her and get rid of the list permanently," Oliver texted back.

"Oh… that one. I had to do that with Moira, and I ended up listing more than three."

"I'm sure you had to... In my case, it's Felicity who needs to forgive. Do I skip the dare then?"

"Oliver," began Walter's text reply, "we all do hurtful things. I'm sure if you think back hard enough, you'll find that there are some things buried deep down that you yourself will need to deal with. You might be surprised." Oliver was first surprised that Walter's message had a smiley at the very end because it was very uncharacteristic of the refined, polished Englishman.

"Oh… ok… I'll do that. Thanks!" Oliver texted back for the last time and then put down his phone.

Oliver took a pen and a sheet of stationery, and for the next fifteen minutes thought back and penned down the first thing that came to mind that Felicity had done or had been doing that did hurt him somehow. Hurt him really. Now that he honestly admitted it to himself. He had always taken the burden of guilt for almost every conflict or trouble that they both had to go through. In fact, he had gotten so used to taking the blame he had convinced himself that everything that happened so far was his fault. He was the broken one. He was the damaged one. Not her. He was the one who kept making selfish and foolish choices. Not her. He was always the first one to bolt out of a heart-breaking, devastating situation, and always the last person to realize what had gone wrong and how to fix it. Not her.

Not true.

Felicity could be just as stubborn, just as headstrong, and just as hard-headed as him. When she made up her mind about something, she wouldn't budge. In many ways his wife was so much stronger than he was, stronger than any weapon-wielding, butt-kicking member of the Team actually. When she spoke – yelled, rather – everyone listened. Everyone believed in her brilliant ideas and followed her directives. And everyone was right in doing so, because scarcely was Felicity Smoak-Queen wrong, and hardly had she ever jeopardized their safety in their more than five years of working together in dangerous crime-fighting. No one dared cross her, especially when her loud voice was on active mode. Not even the Green Arrow.

But Felicity, as his dear wife, had crossed the line a number of times, when they became a couple and even after they were married. On those occasions, Oliver had reined in his temper and stopped short of growling at her in front of the Team even if she had already screamed at him or retorted sarcastically in the presence of the others. More often than not, she had been right and would most certainly have won the argument, but she had totally disregarded the notion of respect, respect for the leader of the Team, and respect for her very own husband. They'd never talked about this, not even once, because Oliver had always shrugged it off, denying any hint of offense, and just tolerating this kind of behavior from his wife because she was the genius, not him. Oliver never admitted that this stung in more ways than one. He never confronted her about it. He simply overlooked every instance because he thought that it was the right way to express his deep love for, and admiration of, this remarkable woman, who was the brains behind their band of heroes and the one with the higher IQ even in their marriage. He honestly didn't think – or more accurately, he didn't want to think – that there was anything wrong with the way she was because to him, Felicity was perfect. In the beginning he had found this behavior cute and even endearing, but later on he started taking offense without even noticing it himself. He had let her get away with it all the time he had persuaded himself it was okay each time. He was well aware that as a husband he was supposed to love and cherish her, yet he had downplayed her role of honoring and respecting him.

Sitting in his office and scribbling a list on the mayor's note pad – that was the day he finally admitted that her disrespect mattered to him, and he wrote it down in capital letters. As soon as he came to terms with that first item, the next two naturally and easily came to mind.

Oliver found that the second thing that hurt him was how Felicity would share some of her concerns and worries with Dig or with Curtis or with Quentin Lance (and a few times even with Barry, who was miles away in Central City) before sharing them with him. For instance, he wouldn't have found out about a major dilemma she had had with the Board at Palmer Tech if Dig hadn't tipped him off. He wouldn't have known about that minor malfunction in her spine implant if Curtis hadn't leaked the information to him. He wouldn't have known about a conflict she had with Donna over infertility testing that upset her for an entire week if Quentin hadn't hinted at it during an SCPD event at city hall.

At one time Oliver had confronted Felicity about all that just before bedtime, but she had justified her actions by saying that he had enough troubles to deal with every day as mayor of Star City and she didn't want to burden him any more than he already was. That reason didn't really sit well with him because he believed that marriage gave them both the right to be each other's priority confidant. He expected to be the first one she'd run to for comfort and counsel. He was her husband, and he believed that they were best friends and partners. No matter how much trouble he already had on his plate, he expected her – wanted her – to share with him that kind of emotional intimacy first of all. But that night, after telling him that he had no reason to feel bad or to be jealous, Felicity had peppered his face and neck with kisses; they ended up enjoying a very pleasurable and more physical type of intimacy, and the issue had been dropped. He hadn't had the chance to speak to his wife about it again since then.

The third thing Oliver scribbled on his office stationery was how Felicity sometimes made unilateral decisions that affected their marriage, in the same manner that he had made unilateral decisions for the Team in the past (which she very much hated him doing). One particular incident came to mind as he wrote. It was when she had transferred some of her stocks at Palmer Tech to his name. Her company had already supported his mayoral campaign with more than sufficient funds, but she went the extra mile of transferring a modest percentage of her shares' profits to his personal account. He was sure that she meant well; she had done it because she wanted him to be more financially stable, especially if he didn't get elected. He didn't mind having more money in the bank, nor did he feel insulted by what she'd done. He was hurt that she had not asked him first what he thought about what she wanted to do for him.

Oliver's list was done. As he folded it up, he thought that he had never felt so relieved. He felt like a huge burden had just rolled off his back. He wanted even more eagerly to reconcile with his wife and to lovingly address the issues he had written down, but for now, according to the dare he had to get rid of the list permanently as a sign of his decision to forgive and forget. He buzzed his secretary to come in and bring him a lighter, which she did, and when she stepped out of his office, he went straight to his private washroom. He stood next to the waste tin can, unfolded the piece of paper, and whispered with his eyes closed, "I love you, Felicity, and I forgive you. I can only hope you'll forgive me too." He lit up the paper using the lighter and watched the ashes fall into the tin can until the list was completely gone. He was ready. When the time came that Felicity would be ready to talk, own up to her share of mistakes and regrets, and apologize, Oliver was ready to release forgiveness with love in his heart.

That night, Oliver lay down quite contentedly. He stretched his right arm across Felicity's side of the bed and thought fondly about his wife. He was getting the hang of loving her in action, even if she had no idea what he was doing to show it. He slept soundly for the second consecutive night.

********************

Day 9

"Love fulfills dreams," said the journal entry the next day. It talked about the desires of one's heart and how loving someone includes being willing to have a hand in the fulfillment of your loved one's dreams. For the dare, Oliver was supposed to identify what his wife would want, if it was obtainable, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of Felicity's desires to whatever level he possible can.

The dare wasn't really a tough one. He knew what Felicity's most recent dream was – to mass produce the bio-stimulator chip and distribute it in the market at the lowest price possible in order to help thousands of paralyzed people who couldn't walk due to spinal injuries. Felicity had been wanting to share her miracle with others. She and Curtis had spent months convincing the Board of Palmer Tech that it was a viable business venture as it was a humanitarian act of compassion.

Before beginning mayoral work in city hall that day, Oliver called up Curtis Holt. He planned to ask Curtis where he and Felicity were in the arduous process of getting the wonder chip in the market. He wanted to see if there was anything he could do to help, even without her knowing about it. At first, Curtis was quite reluctant to share anything with him, fearing that he might get into trouble with his boss about divided loyalties. But when Oliver assured Curtis that he only wanted to help his wife realize her vision of helping the handicapped, the guy eventually obliged.

Curtis told him about the obstacle they'd run into with the local patent office more than a month ago. Apparently, the supervisor heading the division that handled the patenting of Palmer Tech's bio-stimulator chip was a close friend of the CEO of a rival company, which was attempting to replicate Curtis's invention. As Palmer Tech's CEO, Felicity had tried to get to the bottom of the delays. She had gotten wind of rumors that the same supervisor had been bribed into delaying – or worse, blocking – the patenting of Palmer Tech's chip in favor of his friend's company. Unfortunately, Felicity had found no evidence yet to prove it. There was no paper trail, no money trail anywhere in cyberspace, and she was almost at her wit's end. It had been a stand-off between the patent office and Palmer Tech for almost a month after the corporate gossip reached them.

Oliver told Curtis that he would look into it and see if there's anything he could do to help, but he specifically asked that no part of their conversation should reach Felicity. Curtis agreed, knowing that neither of them would want to be at the receiving end of Felicity's rage if she finds out. But Curtis also agreed because he admired Oliver's persistence and perseverance in winning his wife back, and he frankly told Oliver so.

"Thank you, Curtis. I appreciate it," Oliver said to him.

"Oh, it's nothing. Glad to help. Not that I wouldn't shudder at the thought of Felicity yelling at me, or giving me the cold shoulder forever, or firing me. But, hey… love has to find a way, right? And you are trying to find a way… different ways, in fact. And I find that quite admirable in a guy." Curtis's babbling came to a complete halt as he became suddenly aware of how that last sentence may have come across to Oliver. "Uhm… oh… that didn't sound quite right. Not that I'm, you know-"

Oliver cut him off abruptly and simply said, "I know what you meant, Curtis. Just don't… don't say anything more. And just between the two of us, I really do appreciate your help and your vote of confidence."

"No problem…" Curtis responded. Once again he paused, as if there was something more he wanted to say but wasn't sure if he should.

Oliver noticed this and held the line for a few seconds just to be sure. After a moment of silence, he asked Curtis, "Is there something else?"

"Uhm, I just wanted to thank you, too, in advance… for trying to… for trying to help. It would be great if there was something you could do to expedite the patenting process. But… if… if you really want to make your wife's real dream come true…" Curtis hesitated, and then he sighed.

Oliver followed through. "I'm listening. Curtis?"

Curtis swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and finished what he meant to tell him. "If you really want to make your wife's real dream come true, then you should do something about that… that baby thing. More than wanting more people in wheelchairs to walk again, Felicity really… really… wants to have children with you."

What Curtis had just said tugged at Oliver's heart. Hard. Of course, Oliver already knew that Felicity had always wanted for them to get pregnant. She had tried everything she possibly could. He hadn't really. And sincerely coming from Curtis – who was himself in a relationship with someone with whom he will never have a natural child of his own – the hard truth suddenly shook Oliver from his slumber. Of the secret dares he'd recently done for the love of his life, he had forgotten the one thing that meant most to Felicity at this most difficult time in their relationship so far. Oliver appreciated Curtis's candidness and honesty, but he was rendered speechless by them.

"Uhm… Oliver? Are you still there?" Curtis asked.

"Y-yeah. I'm sorry," Oliver replied. "Did she… did she tell you that?" he asked.

"Not exactly. I mean, she'd never admit it, but she always talked about it and wondered about it… even before you guys tied the knot. I work with Felicity every day. She'd talk about what it would be like to nurse your son or daughter, diaper changing and sleepless nights, bringing toddlers to Palmer Tech or to city hall, whether or not she would be as good at parenting as she is with computers – those kinds of stuff. Half the time I think she babbles about kid stuff without her knowing it."

Curtis huffed and then paused to catch his breath. When he spoke again, he did so more slowly and carefully, because he intended to make a point. "Mr. Queen, I can see you love Felicity… a lot. And judging from her verbal and nonverbal cues, she loves you a lot, too… more than she cares to admit it at the moment… and despite how much she got hurt by your… your… you know, your lie. If you really want to make her dreams come true, you would at least try to do your part in seeing that she finds fulfillment not only in being your wife but also in being the mother of your children."

Their phone call ended not too long after Curtis' very laconic yet persuasive speech (which Oliver never thought he could be capable of giving).

As soon as their conversation ended, Oliver dialed another number. With the help of his PR officer, he had gotten himself an appointment with the director of the patent office in Star City. Oliver would be meeting with the guy in the afternoon to ask him to look into the delays in the processing of the patent application of Palmer Tech for the miracle chip, as well as the alleged connection of the supervisor in-charge with the business competitor. He knew that he could apply just the right amount of pressure as the mayor of the city, well within the limits of professional ethics, for the director of the patent office to make sure that graft and corruption in the city government would not hinder this technological advancement from taking off and benefiting more people, especially since such was initiated by the smartest, most amazing female CEO he knew.

After getting that appointment, Oliver gathered enough courage and personally got himself another appointment. The more important one. With the Star City Fertility Clinic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this chapter and getting into Oliver's mind and heart was challenging but engaging. I think his thoughts, struggles, and resolutions are some of the things that episodes in Season 4 won't be able to explore and thresh out in the show. We can only see evidence of the transformations happening in his character through his actions and choices. So what do you think of Oliver's transformations in this story? 
> 
> I think that Oliver is not the only one to blame for the breakdown in their relationship. In the fics that I read, the guilt for the break-up is almost entirely laid on him. While I think that he blew it when he lied to her for a significant period of time and it is only right that he suffers the consequences of his choice, I think that Felicity should also own up to her shortcomings. Marriage (and any relationship, for that matter) is a two-way street. It takes both partners to make it work. This is something that I'd like to emphasize in this fic - to strike a balanced perspective on how their broken relationship can be mended.
> 
> I sure would like to know your thoughts on these things. Thanks for reading!


	6. Dare to Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver comes to a realization about two simple things and unexpectedly finds himself in a pleasant conversation with his wife after a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying my best to post at least one chapter a week so that you don't have to wait as long as you did like before chapter 3 was posted. In this chapter, there is no other Arrow character featured, but Oliver gets to interact with Felicity again. Yey! I hope you like it.

Day 10

"Love is not rude," the journal said that day. For the dare, Oliver was supposed to ask his wife to tell him one thing that caused her to be uncomfortable or irritated with him most of all. Since they weren't exactly in speaking terms, he knew it was close to impossible – both to ask her the question and to get an honest-to-goodness answer – so he didn't bother asking. He didn't, also because he already knew the answer.

As far back as when they were living in Ivy Town, he knew that Felicity did mind his "over-enthusiasm" about keeping the house spic-and-span. Sure, she had kept silent about it then, but it didn't mean she hadn't been bothered by it. He would just catch her releasing deep, frustrated sighs each time he'd harp at her about computer parts scattered on tables and shelves in almost every room in the house (except the bathroom, of course), or about not putting back boxes of cereals in the right kitchen cabinet or putting back milk cartons in the fridge after using them. He would notice the way she'd roll her eyes in irritation when he'd bring up the subject of her forgetting to remove her falling hair trapped in the drain after she'd showered, or to hang her used bath towel back on her side of the towel rack instead of leaving it on the bed. The list went on and on, and it grew longer when they came back to Star City and even longer when they had gotten married.

In the beginning, Oliver had been very discreet and patient in reminding Felicity about such things each time he thought he needed to call her attention. But months into their married life, he had become less patient, perhaps because of the stress of rebuilding the city and keeping, not just his home, but now also his city, in order. There had been quite a few times he had snapped at her, twice over things as petty as not clearing the kitchen counter after her midnight snack when she had stayed up late to do some work for the company, and putting back the silverware in the kitchen drawer without sorting them after doing the dishes. The last time he had chided her for forgetting to turn off the lights in the kitchen and the living room before going up to their bedroom to retire for the night, she had called him an "obsessive-compulsive house-band" in sheer exasperation, muttering softly under her breath as she turned her back against him. Felicity didn't know he had heard her; it had nipped at his heart, but he had decided not to take up the matter with his wife, fearing that it might only make things worse.

As Oliver closed the Love Dare journal, he vividly recalled that incident and realized that he couldn't blame Felicity for blowing her top and resorting to name-calling that night. Truth be told, he did have the tendency to become overbearing about neatness and orderliness. He could fix stuff in their closets and cabinets in the same rigid routine that he arranged his arrows and weapons in the lair. He hadn't really stopped to think that sharing a home with Felicity should be different from maintaining the Team's armory. He knew that even before their wedding day, Felicity had already accepted the fact that between the two of them, she would never be the better homemaker. He thought he had accepted that, too, but he realized that making mountains out of petty housekeeping molehills hadn't helped them both to follow through with that acceptance. Instead of building his wife's self-esteem, he'd been tearing it down, robbing her of the simple joys of living together as husband and wife. Instead of boosting his appreciation of her as his wife and celebrating her strengths as an individual, he'd been focusing on her weaknesses. And that had been contributing to them drifting apart long before his lie had been uncovered.

Oliver resolved to give more effort to avoiding that which annoyed and exasperated Felicity most, refusing to believe that it might be too late for that to make any kind of difference in their relationship at this point.

As soon as Felicity left for work that morning, Oliver did the dishes that she had left unwashed in the kitchen sink from the night before. He wiped off the drops of coffee on the kitchen counter that she had unknowingly left when she poured her favorite morning beverage into a keep-warm flask to take to work. He took her laundry out of the dryer, folded her clothes, and laid them neatly on her bed. He de-clogged the shower drain of blonde hair and replaced her wet, three-day-old towel with her favorite fluffy, pink microfiber towel, fresh from the linen closet. He did all that with a smile, and he felt very happy doing them as well. He had been doing the same things before, but this time, he didn't do them grudgingly, because he decided that he wasn't going to focus on her failures anymore. After all, he thought, love is not rude. He would try his best not to make her feel guilty about the domestic stuff they both had accepted she wasn't good at. He would try his best not to rub it in by picking on petty things.

As he left the Loft for work and got into his limo, Oliver couldn't help chuckling as he wondered what villains and criminals who feared the Green Arrow at night would think of him if they knew who he was (and still aimed to be) during the day – a devoted, domesticated husband who didn't mind doing house chores and meeting the needs of his wife just to show how much he truly loved her and cared for her.

*************************

Day 11

The next day's dare was pretty similar to the previous day's challenge. Oliver was supposed to choose to react to stressful circumstances in the marriage in loving ways because the journal said, "Love is not irritable." He was supposed to review his daily and weekly routines and identify certain areas where he could still add margins to his schedule in order to avoid hectic situations that would trigger irritable responses that might, consequently, hurt or offend his wife.

One thing he noticed was that in the past months, he had more frequently been working overtime, staying in his office long after his secretary and most of his staff had already clocked out. He recognized that this was partly because he knew that coming home earlier usually just made him feel more lonely, made him miss Felicity, who had been just as prone to working long hours in her company. Overtime had been their cop out. It spared either of them from having to come home to an empty loft. It spared both of them from tension-filled encounters that would only lead to arguments, or from silent treatments that only made each other's presence awkward and unsettling.

But Oliver knew that this was an area where that margin could still be widened. Yes, the city needed a dedicated, hard-working mayor; however, Felicity also needed a husband who was there for her, whether she liked it or not, whether she admitted it or not. He realized he simply had to be… there. There… without being irritable. There… without unrealistic expectations. There… without the fear of rejection or conflict. There… bravely and patiently running the risk that his presence would make things tense or awkward for her.

So that day, Oliver left the office at about the same time his staff lined up to clock out of the office, much to his secretary's surprise. When he arrived at the Loft, he changed to a pair of sweatpants and a comfortable gray, cotton muscle shirt. He did a sweep of their home, making sure everything was in order, and then he started to make dinner. When he finished, he set the table for two. He didn't know what time Felicity would be home because they hadn't been checking up on each other for some time now, so he went ahead and ate, clearing away his plate when he was done. He contemplated texting her to let her know he made dinner and to ask her what time she'd be coming home, but he decided that it wasn't such a good idea. If she wanted him to start checking on her again, he preferred that it come from her when she's ready. After washing the dishes and cooking utensils, he settled on the couch, propped his feet on the coffee table, and turned on the TV to watch the news. He simply relaxed and enjoyed a quiet time alone.

Thirty minutes later, Felicity came home. Smiling.

"You're home early," she remarked, a winsome smile playing on her lips. Her eyes glistened with exuberance, and Oliver immediately sensed that his wife was very happy about something. He quickly wished that she would grant the favor of sharing it with him.

"Yeah," Oliver responded, "and you are, too."

"Mm-hmm," she replied with a grin. She put her purse and car keys on the table nearest the door and took off her coat.

"You look happy," he remarked, as he lowered the volume of the television and gave her his full attention.

"That's because I am," she answered. Felicity walked towards the dining area and draped her coat over one of the chairs. "You made dinner," she said.

It wasn't a question, but Oliver thought he would take advantage of his wife's cheerful mood and start a decent conversation with her, so he answered, "Yup, one of your favorites. I've already eaten, but everything's ready for you, if you haven't had dinner yet." He smiled at his wife.

"Oh, Curtis and I had burritos before we left the office," she said, not noticing the slight disappointment that showed on his face. "But… I could never turn down chicken cordon bleu… especially if it was made by you," she added.

Felicity didn't mean to tease or flirt. She was simply happy and in the mood to compliment him, and Oliver picked up on that. He didn't want to overstep the boundaries she had clearly set ever since their last argument a few days ago about him letting her go. Nonetheless, her amiable mood and positive disposition were hard to come by these days, and he considered it a miracle that she was willing to carry on a conversation with him at all. So, he grabbed the opportunity. He turned off the TV, stood up, and joined her at the dinner table.

"Is it any good?" Oliver asked her about the food she had begun to devour.

"Are you kidding? Of course it is!" she exclaimed before popping another bite of chicken into her mouth. "Anything you cook is good. It's just as good as this day has turned out to be. First, the Board approved the salary increase of Palmer Tech's tenured employees. And just before lunch break, I get a call from the patent office. The director himself informed me that our application for the patenting of the bio-stimulator chip has been processed and that the papers have been signed. Finally! It's taken them unbelievably long. At first I thought he was calling to inform me that there'd be more delays, because for the longest time I've personally followed up on the application with the supervisor in-charge, and there'd been nothing but lame excuses for why it's taking them so long to process things…"

Felicity rambled on and on about how things had gone with the patent for the wonder chip, and Oliver not once interrupted her. He never took his gaze off of his beautiful, brilliant wife as she babbled away. Oh, how he missed her babbling away and bubbling up when she's excited about something! How he missed her smile and the sparkle in her eyes! How he missed her! Seeing and hearing her this way made him happy, and knowing that he had somehow had a hand in making her happy made him doubly happy. She didn't have to know. She didn't have to thank him. Oliver contented himself with the precious gift of basking at the refreshing sight of Felicity Smoak-Queen smiling and oozing with excitement. It had been so long since he'd seen her in her old, cheerful self.

While Felicity enthusiastically talked about the rest of her day while finishing her meal, Oliver reflected on how they'd both forgotten how to relax, how to relish life's simple joys – married life's simple joys. He reviewed some of the things he'd learned from the dare diary over the past days. "Love is patient. Love is thoughtful and kind. It is not rude, not irritable. Love makes good impressions and invests in what matters most. Love cherishes. It seeks to understand. Love forgives and keeps no record of wrongs. Love fulfills dreams…"

That last reminder suddenly prompted him about the appointment he had the following day with Dr. Henderson at the fertility clinic. His mind wandered further into anxiety territory. He fidgeted slightly in his seat, playing out scenarios of how the doctor's appointment was going to be. He wondered how he could get the doctor and the entire clinic staff to keep his visit – and possibly his succeeding visits as well – confidential. He was, after all, the mayor, and he and his wife would definitely mind if the city's resident gossips wouldn't stay clear of their right to privacy. A million anxious thoughts went in and out of his brain.

"Oliver… Oliver?" Felicity's familiar voice caused him to snap out of his musing.

"Uhm… I'm sorry, what were you saying?" he said to her.

"I thought I'd lost you for a moment there," she said to him, flashing a charming smile. She blinked, and then she went on to say, "I asked you how your day went."

Oliver smiled back at her and gave her back his undivided attention. He told her about some problems in the office of the civil registry that he had to troubleshoot that morning. He told her that TIME magazine had called, asking for an exclusive interview with the mayor that had turned a dying city's life around, saying that they wanted a front page story about how Star City had risen strong from the ashes of the havoc wreaked by terrorist attacks. That made Felicity even more excited, and when he asked if she was willing to be there with him during the interview to support him, and for their picture to be taken together, she immediately obliged.

"Thank you," he said to her. "It means a lot." Oliver was about to reach for her hand instinctively, but Felicity beat him to it.

She leaned forward across the table, tapped his forearm, and said to him, "I'll always be your friend, Oliver. No matter what."

His eyes became glassy with tears as a paradoxical mixture of joy and sadness filled his heart to the brim. He was happy at the thought that Felicity still acknowledged how deeply the roots of their friendship still anchored their relationship to the ground in spite of how harshly the storms of married life tried to drown or uproot it. At the same time, he was sad that friendship was all she was willing to commit to at this point, that friendship was all that was left between them. Yet he was willing to take whatever she was willing to give, because it meant that no matter what happens to their marriage, she would still be in his life somehow, even if it's just as a friend.

"I know," Oliver said softly, putting his hand on her hand that tapped his forearm. It was a brief yet sincere acknowledgement of the reassurance she had just given him.

Oliver stood up and offered to clear the table and finish off in the kitchen. Felicity thanked him, said good night, and headed to her room. Halfway across the living room, she turned back and said, "Oh, and Oliver, thank you for my laundry… for folding my clothes yesterday."

She smiled.

"You're welcome. Always a pleasure," Oliver replied, his eyes locked onto hers with intense and sincere emotion.

She blushed.

And there it was – that adorable expression he'd missed on the face of Felicity, his Felicity. He thought that nothing on the face of the earth could be prettier than her cheeks flushing pink, nothing more charming than her chewing on her lower lip while dropping her gaze and holding back a grin, nothing more attractive than the flutter in her bright blue eyes that drove him crazy and set his desires on fire. It was a breath-taking sight! And Oliver held on to it for as long as he could before she turned again and walked away.

That was the memory that filled his mind before he fell asleep that night. For the first time in weeks, Oliver felt a flicker of hope spark in his heart. Hope came knocking at his door when he least expected it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked reading and hearing Felicity again after a couple of chapters without her. I set out to write a more conflicted chapter at first, but after watching the Season 4 Finale and coming away with hope that Olicity's ship may yet sail one more time, I think it's fitting to devote one chapter that focuses on HOPE before the more complicated part of the story begins to unfold. (I really liked Felicity's final line on the last scene of 4x23.)
> 
> Although I already have ideas on how this story should develop because I do have a message to share, I am open to suggestions as to how you would like for it to go. Any ideas? Comments and suggestions are welcome. I'll see how I can weave them in.


	7. A Sacrificial Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next installment for Olicity's 40-day challenge story. The conflicts are intensifying even more - internally and externally. Here, Oliver experiences another major realization, with the help of his friend, John Diggle.

Day 12

Oliver sat in the waiting room of the Star City Fertility Clinic fifteen minutes before his appointment with Dr. Henderson. In fact, the clinic had opened an hour earlier than their usual hours at the mayor's special request, so that the doctor, who happened to be also the director of the facility, could accommodate him discreetly, before clinic staff and patients started arriving.

Only John Diggle was with him that morning. Oliver had given his other bodyguard the day off and requested Diggle to drive him to the clinic, instead of asking his city-assigned driver to report for work earlier than usual. Oliver had also wanted his best friend and brother to be there to support him in this huge step he was taking to hopefully help make his wife's dream come true.

It wasn't just her dream, though. It was his, too. He may not have been as vocal about it as Felicity had been. He may not have been as anxious or frustrated as she'd been that they'd been trying for quite some time to get pregnant to no avail. He may not have been too keen on seeking medical intervention as she'd been, but he, nonetheless, had wanted to have a child – children, actually – with none other than the love of his life. Yes, he had William, and although he really had learned to love his own flesh-and-blood ever since he had discovered him in Central City, his son hadn't been conceived and borne out of true love, the very kind that he had only for Felicity.

He'd been pondering on this in the limo until they stopped in front of the clinic and Diggle let him out of the car. A receptionist, who seemed to be the only employee in the facility at that time, opened the door of the clinic for him and Diggle. The woman, who introduced herself as a certain Ms. Kay Kinnel, had led them to the waiting room and informed them that Dr. Henderson was on his way. As soon as Oliver and Diggle sat down facing each other, Oliver decided to read the day's entry in the dare diary.

"Love thinks of the other first," the journal said in plain language. It went on to explain that genuine love is selfless, it isn't self-absorbed, and it doesn't only think of what it can get. Love puts the welfare of the other person before its own. In simplest terms, love is not selfish. The Scripture text for the day read, "Be devoted to one another… give preference to one another in honor." The dare for the day challenged Oliver to think of one way that he could show his wife today that he was thinking of her good before his own, and he was supposed to act on it within the day.

Oliver thought back to the previous evening he had enjoyed a quiet, friendly conversation with his wife on the dinner table. He truly had appreciated that opportunity. It had given him hope that things might start changing for the better. He then looked up with a smile and a twinkle in his eye, much to Diggle's surprise and amusement.

"What's up, man?" Dig asked, curious as to the sudden change in Oliver's mood.

"Nothing," Oliver replied, his grin getting wider. "I just thought about something."

"Something, or someone?" Diggle began to tease.

Oliver simply shrugged his shoulder, took his phone from his pocket, and confidently made a call. But Diggle didn't let up so easily.

"Does this someone happen to have blue eyes, blonde hair tied up in a ponytail, and the brains of a genius?" he teased, unable to keep himself from smirking.

"Shut up," Oliver answered, half amused by his friend's teasing. "I need to speak with my wife," he said, smiling at Diggle.

To Oliver's satisfaction, Felicity picked up and answered his call. He was on the phone with her for just about a minute, but to him, sixty seconds of Felicity's voice in his ear was enough to make his day. It was better than most days in the past weeks when there was only silence between them.

Oliver reminded her about the interview with TIME the day after tomorrow, and she gladly responded that she didn't forget. Then he told her that he had forgotten to ask her if the time schedule for the interview was convenient for her. He briefly apologized for that, and told her that he'd be happy to arrange for another time slot if the original schedule wouldn't work for her. She thanked him for being thoughtful and let him know that she appreciated the gesture because she had just found out that her assistant had previously scheduled an important meeting with a potential distributor of the recently patented bio-stimulator chip, and she was just about to call him to ask that the interview schedule be moved. They both agreed to have the journalist reschedule the interview on the same day but in the afternoon at 4:00.

Just when he was about to hang up, Felicity asked him what she should wear, since he had asked her to be in the photo shoot with him after his interview. He replied, "You look good in anything, Felicity," and then after a silent pause between them he added, "but… red would be nice." It would have been nicer if Oliver had seen how red his wife's cheeks had actually become when he had said that, but a vivid imagination of her blushing was enough for him for the time being.

As soon as he ended the call, Diggle remarked, "That was nice… and smooth." Oliver just smiled at him and closed the journal. But Diggle wasn't finished, except this time, he didn't intend to tease. "Oliver, I just want you to know that I'm really proud of you. This… this place… What you're trying to do… it takes a special kind of courage and humility to even be here. I know you're doing it for her."

"I'm doing it for us, Dig," Oliver replied. "But yeah, I guess it's all because I love her. I really do."

"You have come a long, long way, man," Diggle said with a chuckle. "There was a time when you couldn't even admit you had feelings for her. And when you finally did, you backed off, insisting that you couldn't act on it because of the life you lead as the Arrow. And then there was that classic, self-deprecating excuse that you didn't think you were good enough for her, and that she didn't deserve to be with someone as damaged as you."

Oliver smiled at his friend and brother, the one who had stood by him through times of triumph and turmoil. He was happy that Dig could be with him that day. He uncrossed his legs, leaned forward with his forearms on his knees and his hands locked in between his legs, and said, "I still don't deserve her, Dig." He sighed and dropped his gaze. When he looked up at Diggle again, he continued, "I don't even understand why she picked me. But she did. She could have walked away from this kind of life every time I made foolish choices and unilateral decisions that sometimes even put her life on the line. But she didn't. She even went as far as agreeing to marry me. She vowed to love me for the rest of her life, and what did I do? I lied and broke her heart. There are days I feel like it's too late, and I've lost her for good."

Oliver bowed down and ran his fingers through his cropped, sandy blonde hair. And just as Diggle was about to answer him, the doctor walked through the door.

"Good morning, Mr. Mayor," Dr. Henderson greeted as he shook Oliver's hand. "I apologize for being a few minutes late. Road work. Would you care to follow me into my office, sir?"

Oliver and Diggle followed the doctor down the hall and into the office, but only Oliver went inside. Diggle nodded at him and took his position just outside the door.

Day 13

In the evening of the following day, the Team returned to the bunker after intervening in a bank heist in downtown Star City. It hadn't been a serious, life-and-death situation, but they could have completed the mission sooner, had it not been for Oliver spacing out a couple of times. Thea had been positioned on the rooftop of the building across Star City Bank and Trust, waiting for his signal to shoot tranquilizer arrows at the bank robbers standing guard at the lobby near the front entrance. She had eyes on the two men standing by the glass doors, but it took only a second of Oliver's delay for her to lose them completely from her line of sight, causing the guys positioned just outside the entrance to resort to hand-to-hand combat instead when they had to charge inside at the last minute. Later on when Laurel asked Oliver over the comms if she should wait for back-up or take on the mastermind and his four armed men who were inside the vault of the safety deposit boxes and ready to leave with millions of dollars worth of jewelry, the same thing happened. She had to make a quick judgment call because she didn't want the robbers to get away through the back door of the bank. Before the guys got to her, she had taken a slight beating from three of the men that had stayed behind as the mastermind and his right-hand man made a run for rear exit. It was a good thing Felicity had redirected Thea to the back of the building where she had ambushed the fleeing criminals, using on them the tranq arrows instead. When everyone made it back safely to the bunker, Thea and Laurel were too tired to make a big deal out of what had happened and were just thankful to have made it out in one piece. They figured that setbacks could not always be predicted, much less avoided, and that sometimes they were part of the dangerous missions they took on night after night. After Felicity finished running a complete systems scan and Thea and Laurel changed into regular clothes, the women decided to call it a night.

Diggle, however, knew better about what could have been wrong with his friend. He approached Oliver in the changing room just as Oliver came out of the shower and started putting on his jeans.

"Hey, everything okay? You seemed a bit distracted out there tonight," Dig asked. There wasn't judgment in his tone, just genuine concern, which Oliver immediately recognized and appreciated.

"I was," Oliver answered. "And I think I owe the team an apology, but I can't really tell them why. Not for now."

"Okay… But you can tell me, right?" Dig asked again.

Oliver knew that John Diggle was a faithful, trusted friend; in fact, Dig had come to consider him more as a brother, perhaps even more than his biological brother Andy, who had turned to the dark side and followed the sinister lead of Damian Darkh and eventually perished in the last battle when Oliver had to put him down to save Dig's life. Oliver and Dig had fought side by side for more than five years and saved each other's lives countless times. That had made their bond tighter and stronger through the years in spite of the temporary fallout that happened between them when Oliver had pretended to be brainwashed by Ra's al Ghul and had to kidnap Lyla as part of the grand scheme he had planned with Malcolm Merlyn to defeat the leader of the League of Assassins. When Oliver had finally earned his friend's trust back, they both swore an oath that they would always have each other's back and that they would never doubt each other again.

Oliver looked at Diggle with pleading eyes. He knew he needed help processing the issue he was struggling with, but he still debated on whether or not to open up to his friend and brother-at-arms. He was about to put up a wall and retreat to his old self that often opted to handle his troubles solo, but he remembered their pact, and he quickly relented.

He also remembered the journal entry that he had read that morning. It had said, "Love is accountable." The Scripture quote had further said, "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed." Oliver was supposed to find another married man whom he trusted and become accountable to that person for his progress in the remaining days of the challenge. He knew he already had Walter to support him. Yet at the moment, Diggle was right there, and he thought that there was no other person who knew him better and would understand him better than John Diggle, who, like him, was a battle-scarred warrior and a hero with a secret identity. John Diggle was also a married man who would do anything to protect his wife and child. Diggle understood what it means to be a husband and what it takes to be a father.

"Dig, I don't know if I can go through with it," Oliver said softly, like a low mumble. If Diggle hadn't been familiar with how he usually spoke when he was hesitant to talk about something, Diggle would have asked him to say it again.

"You mean the fertility testing?" Diggle clarified, his forehead creasing with a slight frown.

"Yes," Oliver answered. "The routine procedure includes a thorough physical exam, and Henderson also needs my complete medical history." He paused, faced the mirror in the changing room, and looked at his bare chest in dismay. "These scars… I… I don't know how to explain these to Henderson without… Dig, I'll have to tell him how I got these. I'd have to tell him who I really am and what I do." Oliver sat down on a nearby bench and stared at the floor. "Do you think this is worth the risk of letting another person know that I'm the Green Arrow?"

Diggle came nearer and sat down beside him. "Well, if you ask me, I think you and I have become experts at taking necessary risks, especially for the ones we love. Maybe you should remind yourself why you're doing this, and who you're doing it for. Is she worth it? Is your marriage worth it? Is having a child with her worth revealing your secrets to a stranger?"

Oliver didn't answer. Instead, his eyes closed shut and he buried his face in his hands. He took a deep breath as he looked up again at his friend. "That's not all."

"What do you mean?" Diggle asked.

Oliver answered, "Dr. Henderson told me that after doing a thorough work-up of Felicity months ago, he'd been pretty certain that she is capable of getting pregnant. Even though she's got just one ovary left, she's ovulating regularly and her menstrual cycle is normal. So I asked him if he thought that the problem was with me then. He said he won't know for sure until all the tests are done." Oliver continued, but his voice wobbled a bit. "I asked him… I asked about the probable causes of infertility in cases where the problem is… is with the husband."

"And?" Did asked, carefully prompting Oliver to be brave enough to continue.

When Oliver was assured that his secret would be safe with his friend, he went on to say, "Henderson explained that more than 90% of male infertility cases are due to low sperm counts, poor sperm quality, or both. The remaining cases are due to other factors like anatomical problems, hormonal imbalances, and genetic defects. He also said that sperm count varies widely over time, and temporary low counts are common, so… if that turns out to be my problem, it shouldn't be a reason to lose hope."

"That's good news, right? So what's bothering you?" Dig asked again, trying to keep up with the informal education on male fertility.

"The thing is, the doctor advised me that if I'm serious about pursuing fertility testing and therapy, I should do an honest-to-goodness lifestyle check. I don't have a problem with avoiding cigarettes and other drugs that may affect sperm count or reduce sexual function, nor am I overweight. But I do have a major problem with getting sufficient rest. Henderson said that I should exercise regularly but moderately, because excessive exercise can impair fertility." Oliver was silent for a couple of seconds, as he looked out the door of the changing room towards the direction of the salmon ladder, the training mats, and the gym equipment in the lair.

Diggle picked up on what Oliver was driving at and attempted to supply the missing piece of his friend's puzzling dilemma. "And you're thinking how in the world you can do that with all the rigorous training and strenuous nighttime activities we do every day to protect this city. Am I reading you right?"

"Dig," Oliver replied, "the doctor specifically told me to avoid stress, because too much stress contributes to lowered sperm quality. He also said that reducing stress will greatly help during the fertility treatments. How am I supposed to keep doing my work as the mayor by day and as the Green Arrow by night, if that's exactly what's hindering me and my wife from having a child?"

Diggle could clearly sense the sheer frustration in his friend, but could offer no simple or quick solution to the dilemma he was facing. "No wonder he was spacing out all day," Diggle thought.

When Diggle remained silent, Oliver huffed and spoke in exasperation, "Come to think of it, I think this probably explains why I had no trouble getting Samantha pregnant before the island even if it was just a one-night stand. The lazy, bratty billionaire-playboy me must have been as fertile as an oasis in the Saharan Desert. Now, I… I can't even make my wife happy!"

Diggle placed a comforting hand on Oliver's shoulder and said, "Don't crucify yourself for this, Oliver. That's all water under the bridge. What's important is who you are right now. The island, all those things you suffered in those five years you were gone, and all of the sacrifices you've done for this city… they're a part of who you are today. You may regret some of the choices you've made in the past, and you probably should. But don't you ever forget that if you hadn't gone through all of those hardships, you wouldn't have met us. You wouldn't have met Felicity. You wouldn't have known how it is to love and be loved. And you wouldn't be brooding over whether or not to go through with fertility testing and treatments, in an underground bunker, way past midnight, with your best friend, who's definitely going to be with you through this… all the way… whatever you decide to do."

Both men chuckled mildly at that.

"And besides," Diggle added, "you don't even know yet if you really do have fertility problems to deal with. Maybe it's best you go through the procedures and see for yourself."

"And give up being the Green Arrow?"

"Maybe. Maybe not permanently. Look, Oliver, what better time to give the hero side of you a break than now? The city is pretty much peaceful. And I think the rest of the Team is perfectly capable of keeping the city safe without you, even just for a time, until your tests, and possibly your treatments, are done. We did it before when you and Felicity went away and stayed in Ivy Town. We'll make it work, if we have to," Diggle advised.

"Thanks, man," Oliver said, patting Diggle's knee in gratitude. "You've given me a lot to think about."

But then again, Diggle wasn't finished. "On a more serious note," he said, suddenly changing gears from encouragement to confrontation, "have you ever considered that this fertility thing could have been another major cause why Felicity wants to call it quits? I mean, there's no question about how foolish it was of you to have lied to her about your son. But-"

"Yeah, of course, I have. We'd been trying, and failing, at getting pregnant long before I was forced to tell her about William. It was definitely a factor that contributed to us drifting apart. But I don't recall anything that would lead me to believe that she'd wanted to end the marriage just because we couldn't have a child. It was only when she found out I had kept the secret of my son from her that she finally gave up," Oliver reasoned. "Why do you ask?"

Diggle cleared his throat and then answered, "Oliver, has it ever occurred to you that finding out about your son could have hurt Felicity twice as hard as you thought? Think of it this way. You broke her heart because you didn't trust her with a secret that you kept with another woman, with your sister, with Barry Allen, and with none other than a traitor like Malcolm Merlyn. But you-"

"I already know that, Dig," interrupted Oliver. "And I've asked her to forgive me for that many times over."

"Yeah, yeah, I know that. But hear me out, man," Diggle countered. "Have you ever considered that by not trusting your wife about the fact that you actually have a son… a child, Oliver… all that time that she was doing everything she could to get pregnant with your child... you virtually let her believe that the fertility problem was with her, when all along it wasn't? You could have relieved her of the awful burden she'd been carrying of not being able to conceive, if you had just revealed your secret and agreed to do fertility testing earlier on. It's like a double lie of omission - not telling her that you have a son, and not telling her that you are capable of fathering a child."

Oliver was stunned. No wonder Felicity still found it hard to forgive him. He had never thought of it that way. He hadn't yet realized the full extent of the consequences of his lie until now. He felt as if a double-edged sword, colder and sharper than Ra's al Ghul's, had pierced him through the heart at the thought of how much he had truly wounded his beloved wife. Tears began to streak down his cheeks like roaring rapids, and soon Oliver was sobbing in front of his best friend.

Diggle sensed that Oliver was dumbfounded and overwhelmed by this new realization. He wanted to give his friend a warm, reassuring hug to tell him that everything was going to be okay. But he knew his friend all too well. He knew it usually took time for him to process things and act on them. So he, instead, refrained from saying anything else and told Oliver that he'd leave him be so that he could have time to think things over. He opted to give Oliver the space and time he needed to let this sudden awareness sink in. Oliver simply thanked him and asked to be accountable to him as he continued to try to win his wife back. Diggle willingly obliged and told Oliver that he could count on him, as always.

Day 14

Left alone in the lair, Oliver spent hours thinking about his consultation with Dr. Henderson and his conversation with Diggle. He couldn't bring himself to go home, not after the guilt that now weighed down on his shoulders. He determined in his heart that he would initiate a talk with Felicity soon and apologize to her for having hurt her in the way that he had just been made aware of, but he still couldn't decide when and how he was going to do this.

When he glanced at his watch, he noticed that the sun would be rising soon, and it was pretty much useless for him to still try to catch some sleep before he had to be at the office. "So much for getting sufficient rest and avoiding stress," he chided himself.

Oliver thought he still had some time to read the dare diary before heading home to shower and get ready. (Today was the day TIME would come for the interview, so he had to at least try to look his best even if he did not get any sleep at all.) He pulled out the journal from his knapsack and read the entry for the day. "Love makes sacrifices," it said.

"Just perfect…" Oliver thought.

The challenge posed two questions that he was supposed to act on: "What is one of your spouse's greatest needs in life right now? Is there a need you could meet by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet it."

Oliver knew right then and there what Felicity needed most. She needed to be released from the burden of expectation that he had compounded bitterly because of his lie. He was going to make sure he acted on that later today. He'd find a way to somehow initiate a heart-to-heart talk after the TIME interview and photo shoot, and he'd ask her to forgive him.

That was going to be a small sacrifice compared to the one he needed to make in order to follow through with a previous dare. Oliver remembered Felicity's dream of dreams. She had been wanting to make him happy by being the mother of his child, of his children, if at all possible. He knew that in order to make that a reality, he would have to make a series of sacrifices that would begin with a simple phone call. He set an alarm on his phone for 8:00 a.m. to remind him to call Dr. Henderson's office as soon as the clinic opened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It would be nice to know what you think of these new developments in the story. What do you think about the options that Oliver faces? Reviews and comments are welcome.
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to John Diggle - my third most favorite character in the show. Diggle has always been Oliver's conscience, the encouraging friend that usually forced Oliver to look at the hard truths closely and act on them like a man. He usually provided perspective and hope. Well, up until Season 4 when their roles ironically reversed. It saddens me how his character transformed in a negative way all because of his disillusionment with his brother Andy and the guilt that overcame him when Laurel died. I really wish he would find himself again, and that the writers can think of a way for us to get the Old John back. I really miss him.


	8. She Dared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver follows through with the sacrificial dare. It's also the day of the TIME magazine interview and things happen between our favorite couple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm really sorry this next chapter took so long. I've been swamped with work because school where I'm from is about ready to start for another year. But I tried my best to finish this in the middle of a migraine, cramps, frozen shoulder, and an acidic stomach. It was quite a difficult chapter to write not only because of my situation, but because it's kind of a game changer. In this chapter, we get into Felicity's mind for the first time in a long time since the prologue, when all along we've been seeing things mainly from Oliver's perspective.

After a quick shower and skipping breakfast altogether, Oliver changed into his usual work day attire and headed straight to City Hall to begin his day. Even as he sat in the back seat of the limo alone, yawning every couple of minutes because of his total lack of sleep the night before, his mind was lucid and focused. He knew it was going to be a full day for him, yet despite the many mayoral tasks lined up by his secretary for the day, only three things occupied his thoughts: one, the call he needed to make at 8:00; two, the TIME interview where Felicity would be present to support him; and three, his plan to invite her to dinner out after the interview and photo shoot so that he could have a heart-to-heart talk with her. Of the three, he was most nervous about the last one.

Oliver spent the entire trip to City Hall figuring out the answers to two questions. First, what was the best way to invite her to dinner and get her to say yes? Second, how should he apologize without making her uncomfortable or pressured into taking him back? He had been wrapped up in his thoughts the rest of the way that he hadn't even noticed them stopping at the cleaners and Diggle picking up his dark gray pinstriped suit for his interview that afternoon. The next thing he knew, they had arrived at work.

At the sound of his alarm, Oliver called Dr. Henderson. He told the fertility specialist that he had decided to go through with the tests and whatever treatments were necessary, but he also negotiated the terms of confidentiality. Henderson assured him of doctor-patient privileges and promised that the clinic handled all of their patients' cases with utmost confidentiality, and he appreciated that. However, he reiterated that he and his wife had become the apple of Star City's public eye since he'd become the mayor, so he bargained for more stringent measures to ensure their privacy even if such measures would cost him more than what the doctor and the clinic normally charged their patients.

Oliver was relieved that Henderson was willing to go the extra mile to set up a special arrangement for him. Henderson would form a tight team of just three employees – a nurse, a medical technologist, and himself – that would handle Oliver's case without the express knowledge of the rest of the clinic staff to keep any information from being leaked to the press or the public. Furthermore, Oliver could come in for scheduled procedures, treatments, and consultations outside of the clinic's daily hours Mondays to Saturdays, and Henderson himself would contact him regarding these appointments. They both agreed to set the physical exam and the initial interview regarding his medical history the following day, an hour before the clinic opens. Oliver expressed his absolute appreciation to the good doctor for understanding his unique situation; he also told the doctor that his very unusual request for extra privacy would make better sense once they go through his medical history and physical exam. Oliver hung up with a sigh of relief and a wide grin on his face. He was so ready for this!

The rest of the morning went by like a breeze, and so did lunch hour and the early afternoon committee meetings. At quarter to 4:00, the media crew from TIME arrived at the mayor's office and began to set up their equipment for the interview and the photo shoot inside his office. Mayor Queen was asked if he preferred to stay or step outside the office while they set things up. He decided he would rather wait for Felicity outside at the receiving area of the Office of the Mayor. Five minutes before 4:00 struck, Felicity arrived.

It had been a few months since Felicity last set foot in the mayor's office. As she entered the receiving area with a friendly smile, Oliver's secretary stood up from behind her desk and greeted her courteously, and so did the rest of his staff that were present. Felicity greeted them back with a polite nodding of her head. She looked around and noticed that nothing much had changed in her husband's workplace since he had assumed office.

As soon as Felicity's eyes spotted Oliver from a distance, her friendly smile widened. She recognized immediately how anxious he was, just by the way he was stroking his stubbly jaw line and the way his other hand was balled into a fist, thumb rubbing against his forefinger. Oliver had been standing restless just outside the door of his office or pacing back and forth when he felt like standing still had been too much for his rattled nerves. He had been going through some of the answers to the journalist's prepared questions, which his PR and media relations officer had drafted for him in advance. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he was oblivious to the familiar tapping of Felicity's heels.

When she had significantly closed the distance between them, she called out to him. "Hey!" The greeting was quick and concise, but her tone was warm and personal. Oliver instantly recognized her voice and the emotion that it carried. And as he turned towards the direction her voice had come from, he was surprised that she was already just a few feet away from him, and closing in fast. He was even more surprised that she didn't slow down, and instead touched his forearm and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek. He was so pleasantly surprised – stunned actually – that he simply froze and was unable to react. She then took a step back, and all he could say was, "Hi! Thanks for coming." And then he grinned.

She grinned, too.

Felicity was acutely aware that she was excited about this interview. She was excited for her husband because she was, no doubt, extremely proud of him and everything he had accomplished for the city so far – be it as Mayor, or as the Green Arrow. There was a part of her that felt disappointed that the city and the rest of the world still wouldn't fully appreciate his heroic deeds and sacrifices. That was the same part of her that wished for him to be recognized at least… maybe someday. For now, she was thankful that the part of him that was the hero by day would be duly acknowledged. She was thrilled to witness the moment and to be part of this honor that the media was about to give him. She wouldn't miss it for the world.

But then again, at the back of her mind, there was a tiny corner in her heart that was somewhat unwilling to admit how thrilled she was to be with him that afternoon. It tugged at her, making her doubt whether or not this was really a good idea. She had a couple of misgivings. First, she second-guessed her decision to join him for this interview and even agree to a photo shoot because he had asked her at a time when she had been ecstatic about the news that Palmer Tech's patent for the miracle chip had been finally granted. She figured she would have said yes to anything from virtually anyone at the time.

Second, considering the millions of people who would be reading the TIME article and seeing the photos of them together was making her feel like she had gone in way over her head. She made it clear to him upon her return to the Loft weeks ago that she would temporarily "keep up appearances" for his sake until she could figure out her next step. But how would this present situation impact her upcoming decisions? What if she decided to let him go… for good? Wouldn't she be sending Oliver and the public, for that matter, the wrong signal? She had debated last night whether or not she should back out, but Felicity Megan Smoak Queen never goes back on her word and always makes good on her promises.

Neither did she really care about what people around her thought or what gossip columns and media critics threw at her. She had survived office rumors and Isabel Rochev's insults way back when she had been Oliver's EA. She had survived the malice and manipulations of Palmer Tech's board when Ray had made her the company's Vice President and then again when she was instantly promoted to CEO. She was confident that she could figure out later what to do with possible repercussions. What mattered to her was that she was there for Oliver. What mattered to her at that moment was – strangely for her, she thought – him.

Felicity opened her purse, pulled out a rectangular box, and handed it to Oliver. "Open it," she told him.

"What is it?" he asked her.

"Oh, just a little something I picked up for you. For today. Think of it as a gift from a well-wisher. You are going be on the cover of TIME next month after all," she replied with a playful wink.

Oliver thanked her and proceeded to open the box. When he saw what was in it, the corners of his lips turned up again. He blinked and gazed at his lovely wife. His heart was flooding with inexpressible joy not just because of her thoughtful gift, but also because she was smiling at him with a glimmer in her eyes that he had so missed. If only he could kiss her. Right then. Right there.

Felicity sensed that Oliver seemed to have forgotten how to speak. He was just staring at her with his lips slightly parted. She was also quite aware that everyone in the room was staring at them, too. So, she said, "Here, let me help you put it on." She took the box from his hands and asked him to remove the dark blue necktie he was wearing so that she could help him put on the brand new, red, silk tie she had brought him. "I figured this would spice up the photo shoot later. Do you like it?" she asked him, trying to lighten up the mood in the room by starting a friendly conversation between them.

"Yes," Oliver replied as he nodded his head. He was still staring at her.

He couldn't help it. His wife was not only thoughtful and sweet; she was absolutely gorgeous and charming, clad in her red, knee-length pleated skirt and red floral-patterned chiffon blouse with a rather flattering neckline that highlighted the gold-chained ruby pendant resting on her cleavage (a gift he had given her on their first wedding anniversary). Every inch of him was drawn to her – her French-tipped fingernails, her bright blue eyes that today weren't hidden behind dark-rimmed glasses, her scarlet-painted lips, and her flowing blonde tresses that tumbled down her shoulders in attractive curls. He thought that she was absolutely perfect for the photo shoot, and for the dinner that he had planned to invite her to afterwards. He thought that she was absolutely perfect for him. He wasn't really paying attention to anything she was babbling about as she put the necktie around his neck and fixed it in place at the base of his neck. He just kept staring at his blonde beauty, his eyes darkening with pent up desire.

"We're ready for you, Mayor Queen," the journalist called out from the door of his office, interrupting his very pleasant reverie.

"We'll be right in," Oliver answered. Felicity was done fixing his tie, and together they walked into his office.

The interview lasted for a little over an hour and was followed by a thirty-minute photo shoot. They took solo pictures of Oliver, of him with his staff, and lastly of him and his wife. Soon the journalist and his crew packed up their equipment, thanked him for accommodating them, and left at around 6:00.

Felicity stood up from the chair she'd been sitting on, waiting for him to send everyone off. She picked up her purse and approached him to say goodbye. But before she could utter a word, Oliver eagerly spoke first. "I'd like to thank you for doing this. You didn't have to, but yeah, thank you. It means a lot to me."

"You're welcome. It was my pleasure," she responded with a smile that he knew had always only been meant for him. Whether or not she was aware that it was that smile she had just flashed at him, he didn't care. He just savored it for the split-second that it came his way.

"I was wondering… and I know this is such short notice… but… if you don't have plans tonight… I was hoping…" Oliver knew exactly what he wanted to say, but his tongue was playing tricks on him. Felicity's eyebrows lifted, clearly expecting him to finish whatever it was he wanted to tell her. Oliver cleared his throat and loosened his tie a bit, as if that would help him get the words out. It did. "Felicity, would you like have dinner with me tonight?"

Felicity's forehead creased. "Are you asking me out on a date? As in a date, date?"

"A gesture of sincere gratitude," he quickly replied, "for standing by me today. Like I said, it means a lot."

Felicity bit her lower lip and looked down. She thought for a moment. At first she thought it wasn't such a good idea. She'd been trying to move on after she had unequivocally asked him to let her go more than a week ago. Again she thought, "Wrong signal."

"Oliver, I… I don't think-"

"Felicity, I just want to show you how much I appreciate your support. It's not a date. It's just dinner." Oliver remembered why he'd wanted to take her out tonight in the first place, and he recognized that he wasn't being totally honest. So he went further to say, "And I really need to talk to you about something. It's important. I won't take much of your time."

Felicity took a deep breath and looked at him. She thought he looked absolutely handsome, and she saw sincerity in his eyes. Those blue orbs had always been the death of her, and she knew there was no way she could resist them at that moment.

"One dinner," she said resolutely. It was one dinner. She didn't think it would keep her from moving on. It wasn't like she was falling for her husband's charms all over again. He said he needed to tell her something, and if he said it was important, she was willing to give it a chance.

Nothing could wipe the grin off Oliver's face from the moment he walked out of his office with his hand on the small of his wife's back until the moment they were seated at her favorite Italian restaurant.

***************

Day 15

"Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it." Those words glared at him, daring him to read on despite the heaviness that weighed on him. He didn't want to open the journal that morning, much less read it, but Diggle's encouraging words prevailed.

Oliver had called Dig the night before. He really needed someone to talk to after a very disappointing evening. It had been quite late, and he was a bit hesitant to do it for Lyla's and Sara's sakes. Nevertheless, his friend picked up and stayed on the phone with him until past midnight, just listening to him talk for the first twenty or so minutes, and cry for the next five.

He narrated to his friend how dinner with Felicity had been going so well. They'd talked about the TIME interview while enjoying appetizers and the main course. While having dessert, they had enjoyed talking about how Star City and Palmer Tech have been doing, respectively. And as dinner was winding down, Oliver was able to steer the conversation to the direction he had planned on taking her. She had still been on a wonderfully pleasant mood, so he had boldly taken the plunge.

"Felicity, remember when I asked you to come to dinner with me tonight, I told you I wanted to talk to you about something important," he had begun to say.

She had taken another sip of red wine and said, "Yeah, I remember."

Oliver's eyes had trailed from the glass of wine she held in her hand to the lips that had just touched it. For a moment he'd gotten distracted with the feeling of want burning in his heart for the woman who alone possessed it. He'd swiftly recovered and gotten back on track.

"Well, you see… I meant to apologize, too. Someone I recently had an enlightening conversation with has given me some very helpful insight. It got me to think real hard about the consequences of not being completely honest with you, especially about things that matter most to you, to me, to us. And I know I've already apologized for breaking your heart when I didn't tell you about William from the very beginning, but I…"

"Oliver…"

"Please… let me finish," Oliver had pleaded with her, and she nodded her head once to acknowledge his request. So he continued, "Felicity, I've just recently come to realize that not telling you sooner that I had a son, hence, that I am capable of having a child… It wasn't fair to you. My lack of honesty and transparency made you believe that I wasn't interested in having children with you, that I wasn't willing to do whatever it takes for us to get pregnant. I let you think that it was somehow your fault. I made you carry the heavy burden of guilt and expectation… alone. For all of that, I sincerely apologize. I hope that someday you would find it in your heart to forgive me for hurting you so much by my lies in more ways than one."

He'd been looking at her intently all the while, noticing how tears welled up in her eyes as he spoke those earnest yet bitter words of confession and apology. It had only been when her first tear finally fell that he broke the gaze and looked down in sheer sorrow and regret. He hadn't had the strength or the nerve to look at her anymore, seeing that he had made her cry once again.

There had been total silence for a couple of minutes, but then Oliver suddenly felt something warm begin to envelope his left hand, which was resting on the table beside her glass of wine. Felicity had touched him of her own accord, and her right hand squeezed his hand. That had caused him to finally look up at her again. The expression on his face had been hopeful, anticipating a positive response from her.

"Apology accepted," Felicity had said softly. "It's high time that I forgive you, and now I do."

"Thank you," Oliver had acknowledged. "Felici-"

"Oliver, please…" she had interrupted. This time she had been the one to plead with him to let her finish.

"Sorry. Please, carry on," he had said.

"Oliver, you broke our trust when you lied. You broke my heart when you chose to keep your promise to another woman you never even loved and to exclude me from that part of your life. And yes, it hurt even more when I realized you knew all along that there was nothing wrong with you and you did nothing to stop me from thinking there was something wrong with me. I never thought I'd ever feel this way again after my father abandoned us and after Cooper Seldon made me believe he was dead only to turn against me years after. I didn't expect you… of all people…" Felicity's voice had broken and she had to stop for a while to hold back more tears. After taking a deep breath, she had recovered her composure and found the courage to continue. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though you have broken my heart into a million pieces, I've come to realize that my heart can heal. And I know it will, but the scars will always be there. I forgive you, but… but I'm not so sure if I still have it in me to keep on risking getting hurt by you again."

Oliver had swallowed hard upon hearing everything that Felicity had said. He hadn't been sure whether he should be happy that she had finally accepted his apology and released him from guilt, or be disappointed that she wasn't sure that they could ever get back together again.

"Thank you. If forgiveness is all you are ready to give me, I'll humbly and gladly take it. But… what do you mean when you say you're not sure if you're willing to risk me hurting you again? Is there any way we could somehow save our marriage?" he had asked quite frankly.

"Oliver, I can't say for sure that-"

Felicity had begun to answer his question when they were rudely interrupted by a deep, masculine voice from behind him. "Well, well, what do we have here? Felicity Smoak Queen, such a pleasure to see you here of all places!"

Felicity's eyes had widened and her jaw had dropped as she looked up and saw who the man was. Oliver didn't have to turn his head because the tall guy with dark brown hair, wearing an expensive coat and tie, had already been standing beside their table just as she withdrew her hand from his and placed it on her lap.

"Clint Harwood… What a… pleasant surprise," she had greeted the over-confident man, trying her best to look pleased to see him. Oliver had sensed the trepidation in her voice and on her face. "Oliver, this is Clint Harwood. Clint, this is my… my husband Oliver, mayor of Star City."

The guys had shaken hands as all three of them stood in what had been quite an awkward meeting.

"Please, sit back down, you two," Clint Harwood had said. "Don't let me interrupt your… your…"

Oliver had picked up on the man's fishing tactics, so he completed the man's sentence for him. "Dinner," Oliver said. "As you can see, I've been enjoying a lovely dinner with my wife." He had made sure he stressed the last two words with an emphatic glare.

"Oh… that's interesting," Harwood remarked.

There had been something in the tone of his voice that sounded more like sarcasm rather than genuine interest, and Oliver had been quick to notice it. He had also noticed how Felicity's eyes kept shifting between him and her seemingly rude acquaintance.

"Well, don't let me keep you. I was just about to leave when I saw you from afar, Felicity, and I just had to come say hello," Harwood had explained.

"Thank you for dropping by and saying hello, Clint," Felicity had said to him. Oliver had cringed when he recognized that their level of acquaintance was already on a first-name basis. "Good evening."

"Good evening, Felicity. Good evening, Mr. Mayor. It's nice to have finally met you in person," Harwood had said as he took leave. But instead of finally walking away, Harwood took a step back and asked Felicity a question that started Oliver on his downward spiral. "Oh, Felicity, are we still on? For that meeting at my firm, I mean," Harwood had asked her.

"I'll call you, Clint," Felicity had replied. She clearly had been uncomfortable about the whole thing.

After that, everything else had been a blur to Oliver. How he had managed to pay the bill and drive them home – he hadn't been paying much attention anymore. All he could hear inside his head had been the name Clint Harwood and the fact that Felicity was supposed to have a meeting with him at his firm sometime soon. He'd been sure he had heard of the man before, and as soon as he had Googled the name on his tablet in the privacy of his room, he had confirmed it.

Harwood was one of the top divorce attorneys in Star City.

From the restaurant throughout the drive home and until they reached the Loft, Oliver had thought that his problem concerning Harwood was the jealousy that had begun to brew inside his heart the moment he saw how the guy laid eyes on his wife. He had been dead wrong. It had turned out that his greater problem was with Felicity – she'd been considering divorce, seriously enough for her to get in touch with one of the best legal counselors in the city. He understood that she had every right to consider divorcing him because he had acted worse than a jerk for lying to her. He just couldn't believe that she would actually act upon it and end their marriage once and for all. He didn't believe she would dare. His heart had sunk, and in his misery he'd been tempted to drown his heartache with a bottle of vodka. But he knew better, so he called Diggle instead.

In the morning he read from the journal with a heavy heart. It said, "Love is faithful."

"I'm trying to be faithful, but I'm afraid it might be too late," Oliver thought to himself. He was sure he still loved Felicity very much, but he feared that she wasn't willing to keep loving him back anymore. To him, the fact that she had taken the first step to filing for divorce clearly meant that she was no longer interested in receiving any love he could offer. She had forgiven him, but that was it. It didn't mean she was willing to have him back in her life. A tear fell from the corner of his eye as he leaned against the headboard of the bed.

The dare for the day challenged him to keep on being faithful. He was supposed to let his wife know that he loved her in words similar to these: "I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don't love me in return." Diggle also advised him not to give up, especially not until she actually asks him to sign divorce papers. Diggle encouraged him to fight for her, to fight for their marriage even if she does.

Oliver picked up his phone and composed a text message for Felicity. It went this way: "Good morning, Felicity. Thank you for hearing me out last night, and for forgiving me. Honey, you have always been and will always be the love of my life. Whatever you decide, I choose to love you for all my lifetime. Nothing will ever change that." He clicked on 'send' and waited. All day. For nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you still liked this update even if I had to leave it hanging with a pain in Oliver's chest. Do let me know what you think as reviews and comments help in motivating me to update sooner. Oh, and I'd like to thank the Guests who leave kudos. You are appreciated.


	9. He Dares Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get into Felicity's mind as she is torn between choices. Oliver shows up at the clinic for his second appointment and finds new hope in something the doctor says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I want to apologize for the delay in posting this next update. I know that the excuse of having to deal with a crazily busy schedule at work sounds cliche, but it's the truth. Sorry. I guess I won't be able to update weekly now that school's back and I'm teaching two new courses this semester. I'm aiming for updating every other week though, so I hope that's okay with you who are following this story.
> 
> As requested by one reader, this chapter lets us know more about what's going on with Felicity. Getting into her mind was a bit tricky because we've been reading mostly from Oliver's POV since he's the one doing the dares in the story. But once I started writing her thoughts and feelings, the words just kept coming. I do hope you like this chapter. It's a continuation of where we left off last chapter, not too much action going on, and we only move forward one day in the story's timeline. It's more like a fleshing out of issues in both Oliver's and Felicity's minds. Please do let me know what you think.

Felicity didn't have to open her phone's inbox and read the text message for the nth time; she had it committed to memory. Her husband's words echoed in her mind all day, and she couldn't really concentrate on her work. She could even visualize it in her head like a string of code running on the screen of her tablet. Oliver's words had seemed very sincere, very sure. "Honey, you have always been and will always be the love of my life. Whatever you decide, I choose to love you for all my lifetime. Nothing will ever change that," he had said. What was she supposed to do with that? How was she supposed to respond? With an IQ that was way over that of an average person, Felicity felt frustrated that she had absolutely no clue. She was confused. She felt conflicted.

That feeling had started the night before, just as she was having a very liberating and cathartic conversation with Oliver over dinner. She had being having a wonderful day, especially after having stood by her husband throughout the TIME interview and photo session. The entire time she had her eyes fixed on Oliver. She hadn't merely been admiring how handsome and confident he looked; she had been admiring his outstanding achievements as mayor so far. His answers to the journalist's questions somehow played a video in her mind of all his valuable contributions to the successful comeback of the city, and for the first time in months, she had seen him once again from a renewed perspective. Listening to him talk and hearing the positive remarks and encouraging comments made by the journalist actually made her count the many blessings that came with knowing Oliver Queen personally and intimately. A few pages in a prestigious magazine wouldn't be enough to cover everything that can be known about this amazing man; in fact, those pages would only be scratching the surface of everything that could be known about him.

At the end of the interview, she had posed behind her husband, with her arms wrapped around him as he sat on a chair behind his desk. The cameras flashed, and she was sure that the smile on her face had been genuine, unlike the fake smiles that she often wore to fool people that everything in her life was going well. She had been tremendously proud of Oliver and what he had become. What's more is that she had felt elated because he had told the journalist what he had, time and again, told her and anybody who asked about the secret of his success – that she had played a major role in his "epic" transformation.

Everything had been going well that night. Oliver had asked for forgiveness once more, and she had finally released forgiveness. That was something that they both had been hoping would free him from the burden of guilt he'd been carrying for so long. They had just started talking about the status of their marriage when Clint Harwood appeared out of nowhere and interrupted their moment.

Clint Harwood. His name had popped up in one of the dinners Felicity had with her mother and Quentin Lance. She had walked out on Oliver the day they found out about Samantha's fatal accident and he was forced to tell her about William, and she had stayed at her parents' house for three weeks. It had been one of those nights when she didn't really have the appetite to eat, but Donna and Quentin insisted that she join them. She had hardly touched her meal when she broke down in tears of anger and resentment in front of them, and in sheer frustration she had asked her stepfather who had helped him fix his and Dinah Lance's divorce years ago. He had given her Harwood's name.

It wasn't hard for her to look up the lawyer's background and contact numbers. At first she had hesitated to call his law firm for an appointment. She wasn't sure if divorce was something she really wanted to pursue. She had been putting off contacting Harwood's office, until that night when she had confronted Oliver about his thoughtful attempts and categorically told him to let her go because there's no fixing their relationship. She had gotten an appointment from Harwood's secretary and had already met with the lawyer twice – once in his office and another time over lunch in a fancy restaurant of his choice, exploring the legal options that were available to her.

Despite the long list of pros that Harwood had presented in favor of divorcing the mayor of Star City, Felicity hadn't decided yet whether or not she was going to go for it. Between those two meetings more than a week ago and last night at the Italian restaurant where she and Oliver were finally having a level-headed, heart-to-heart talk, she didn't recall giving Harwood the green light to start drafting the papers – which was why she found it rather rude and inappropriate for the cocky attorney to mention anything in Oliver's presence that might lead her husband to think that she was already taking legal action against him. Seeing Harwood at the restaurant and having him meet Oliver had already made her feel very uncomfortable, not to mention awkward. Harwood asking her if their meeting at his firm was pushing through had been even more disconcerting, and Felicity found his sly move more than slightly misleading and malicious. It only confirmed her previously unfounded suspicion that Harwood (who, by the way, was supposedly a happily married man) had been trying to hit on her since the day they met.

Felicity's inward struggle wasn't just about Harwood's unprofessional demeanor. If it were that easy, then finding another more suitable divorce lawyer would solve the problem. Her dilemma was more complicated than that. In the past few days, she'd started having doubts. She was no longer sure she should even be considering divorcing Oliver. Truth be told, Felicity had begun to recognize his repentance and to appreciate his sincere gestures of restitution. To her, his apologies seemed genuinely earnest and authentic, and the way he'd been reaching out to her and showing her that he still loved her very much and cared a lot about her hadn't gone unnoticed, no matter how hard she tried to feign indifference. However, these realizations were just as real as her fears. She was still afraid of getting hurt again. She felt that the odds of him lying to her again and excluding her from his major decisions weren't really in her favor, given his track record. She feared that Oliver would just revert back to his default self when the next threat or dilemma shows its ugly face. She was tired of taking risks that only left her broken and bitter. She felt like it was time to stop going the extra mile for him and time to think about her own happiness and well-being. But was happiness and wellness really possible without the man she loved with all her heart?

Try again. Or not. Two voices inside her head battled for her volition. Two opposing forces fought for her heart.

"…I choose to love you for all my lifetime. Nothing will ever change that," Oliver had texted. Several times all day Felicity had reached for her phone and attempted to text Oliver back, but before she could even begin to compose a reply text – even just to acknowledge that she had received his message – she'd chicken out every time. Until the lights went out that night and she cried herself to sleep.

Oliver, on the other hand, was trying to keep a positive outlook. He clung to Diggle's encouraging words the night before. He held on to the dare diary's insights for the day and acted on its challenge to be faithful, choosing to follow through with the commitment to love Felicity even when he thought she had given up on their marriage and was taking steps to end it and move on with her life.

That was why he showed up at the fertility clinic with Diggle five minutes before his scheduled appointment with Dr. Henderson that day. The good doctor had opened the clinic himself and ushered them in, wasting no time before commencing his tasks, so that they would be done before the clinic staff arrived. Henderson did the interview first and took down his medical history; the doctor was shocked at everything that Oliver's stories had revealed, which were all corroborated by the physical exam that bared all the scar tissue that covered his body. Oliver told him about the first time he was shot with an arrow in Lian Yu without divulging the identity of Yao Fei, about the wounds inflicted by the blades of "terrorists" he'd stumbled upon there, and about the other injuries he had sustained while he was on the island. Oliver told him about the multiple times he'd been beaten up, shot, stabbed, drugged, and tortured. He pointed to the scars left by the shark that had bitten him on his second time on the island. He also told the truth about how he had escaped death by a hair's breadth after he had been skewered by the sword of an assassin that he did not name. By the time Oliver had finished recalling every medically-related experience he had had in the last ten years, Henderson had been so flabbergasted that the doctor had to excuse himself to drink a glass of cold water.

The doctor's eyes had pooled with tears because he felt overwhelmed with compassion and sympathy for the mayor, whom he realized had suffered more than ten good men can bear in their lifetimes combined. He offered no eloquent words of comfort because he felt that nothing he could say would change anything, so he simply put his hand on Oliver's shoulder and told him that he could remove the patient's gown and put his clothes back on. While waiting, Henderson completed his notes, encoding them in his computer, and saved Oliver's medical record among his confidential files. As Oliver returned from the examining room and sat in front of the doctor's desk, Henderson broke his own clinic's SOP and proceeded to erase the digital audio file he had recorded of Oliver's interview.

"Your secret is safe with me, Mr. Mayor," the doctor had promised. "You have my word… as well as my whole-hearted gratitude. Thank you for everything you have done to save this city and keep our people safe… in the daylight and in the dark." Oliver didn't have to reveal his secret identity, actually. Henderson was smart enough to put the pieces together and figure out that the incumbent mayor of Star City had also been the Hood and the Arrow, and was now the Green Arrow.

"Thank you," Oliver had replied, eyes gleaming and a warm smile appearing on his face.

Oliver was about to stand up and take leave, thinking that his doctor's appointment had come to an end, when Henderson had asked, "Mr. Queen, I… I assume your wife knows the truth about who you are… about the secrets of your scars?"

"She does," Oliver had answered with a nod.

"She must love you very much then," the doctor had remarked with a smile. "It takes a lot for a woman to commit her entire life to someone with such a… an incredible past."

Oliver had sighed and said, "Felicity is an amazing person, doctor. And yes, I am one very lucky guy."

"Oh, Mr. Queen, you are not lucky. You are loved, very much loved."

Henderson had spoken with such emphatic conviction, making Oliver ponder. "Perhaps I've been underestimating Felicity's capacity to love," he had thought to himself. Oliver sat in front of the doctor, but his mind had delved into the current status of his relationship with his wife. He knew that it takes two to revive the marriage, to rekindle the spark in their relationship, to make their lifetime partnership work again. He understood that although he can take up every challenge to prove to her that he was willing and ready and committed to change his ways, and that although he is willing to make necessary sacrifices to show her how much he loved her still, their relationship didn't stand a chance if Felicity had already decided to give up on them. He'd been grieving over that prospect to the point of near hopelessness. He'd been brooding over her seeming reluctance for them to get back together despite her having forgiven him. But it was only when the doctor pointed out how much Felicity must have loved him enough to marry him in spite of his terrible past that it dawned on him that perhaps he needed to be more hopeful than he was. "Maybe Felicity still had enough love left in the recesses of her heart that would spur her to take me back," he had hoped. But the question remained: What would it take for her to give that love a chance despite the constant threat that he might break her heart again?

Oliver had left the clinic with a renewed optimism. He had found renewed faith in Felicity's deep love for him over the years. He asked Diggle to cue the driver to proceed to City Hall and to remind him that they'd be coming back to the clinic the next morning for his first procedure, and then he whispered a simple prayer for Felicity. He prayed that she would feel a tug in her heart soon, a tug in his direction that she would be willing to follow. He smiled, reminiscing that night up in the clock tower during the Siege when she had ardently declared that she believed in him; he hoped that she hadn't lost that belief entirely. He also remembered the night in Palmer Tech when he and Nyssa had just returned from Nanda Parbat and he was about to face Ra's al Ghul one last time; Felicity had told him that his heart had changed and that he had become a different person from the inside out. He hoped that she would keep believing in his capacity to change for the better. This time, it was his turn to believe in her and in her capacity to love him in spite of.

He had to. Because the ball was in her court, and there was really nothing more he could do. He had texted her earlier that day, once more declaring his undying love and commitment to her. He had let her know that he was willing to keep giving her the space she needed and that he would respect whatever she decided to do. All he could do now was to wait expectantly for her to find her way back home to him.

Day 16

The thing was, he had never been good at waiting. Whether as Oliver Queen or as the Green Arrow, waiting had always made him squirm and fidget. He'd always been a man of action. Waiting probably demanded more strength and courage from him than rushing head-on to battle against monsters and maniac-masterminds. In that respect, he and Felicity had always been a lot alike. Neither of them could just sit down and watch things happen. They'd always made things happen, and that was why they had made such terrific partners. This time, however, Oliver knew that it was up to her to make the next move.

It had only been a day since he had these realizations upon leaving the clinic, a day since the spark of hope in him had burned brighter than it had in the past few weeks. But Felicity hadn't texted back. She hadn't called. They also hadn't seen each other in the lair last night because she hadn't shown up. The glimmer of hope would have been snuffed out sooner than he'd expected if he hadn't opened the dare diary and read the entry for the day.

The journal said, "Love believes the best." The Scripture text went on to say that love believes all things, hopes all things. He was encouraged to keep believing in the best in his wife and to never lose hope that she can change for the better. For the dare, Oliver had to make a list of positive qualities that made Felicity the best partner for him, pick one he admired most in her, and then thank her for having that quality.

Oliver made a mental list of Felicity's admirable qualities while taking a shower, having breakfast, and then again on the way to work. As soon as he got settled in his office, he wrote down his list. Throughout the day his list became longer, and he grew fonder and fonder of his wife. Before he left the office that day, he gave her a call, which went straight to her voicemail.

"Hi! Hope you've had a good couple of days since dinner. I've been… thinking about some of the unforgettable nights I've had with you – the night at the clock tower when you told me that I wasn't done fighting and that you believed in me, the night before I defeated Ra's when you told me that I'd become a different person with a changed heart, and… our special night in Nanda Parbat when you told me for the first time that you loved me too. I… I just want to thank you… again… for believing in me… and for loving me in spite of. Thank you for being my light. You still are."

That night, Felicity was at the lair, providing tech support for the Green Arrow, humming her favorite song in his ear as he patrolled the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are looking up. Anything can happen. What do you think should happen next?


	10. Delightful Dares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where the fluff begins. Things are looking up for Oliver and Felicity, and stuff happens soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO SORRY that it has taken so long for me to update this fic. Real life had to take priority. I've been swamped with work and had to take care of domestic concerns. I even had to be out of the country for a while, and then I came home sick. I hope that you're still sticking with this story, because there's so much more to tell, and the most exciting parts are coming up. I hope you like this, and that the fluff and feels could somehow make up for the very long wait. Let me know if you're still following this. Comments and reviews help boost my internal drive to keep going.

Day 17

Felicity had been humming into his ears through the comms last night. He recognized it immediately as one of her favorite songs, which had become one of his favorites, too, since they became a couple. Oliver couldn't help but grin widely at the thought. He wasn't sure if she had done that on purpose as he patrolled the city, or if she had been doing it unconsciously, unaware of what her simple, mundane act had done to him.

It had felt so good to have her voice in his ears. It had made him run faster and scale walls like a meta-human with actual superpowers. It had sharpened his aim when he had to release an explosive arrow directly at the tires of the truck of a gang of gun runners that the Team had gone after. It had made his heart beat faster, long after the chase ended and the criminals were apprehended. It had made him feel warm all over. He felt ecstatic at the sound of her soft, cheerful singing. He felt like he could do anything.

Oliver had certainly missed her singing. She was no professional, but he'd always thought she was really good at it, especially when she did it while sitting on his lap at the end of a long day, wrapped up in his arms, with her arms encircling his neck and keeping his head close to her heart. He remembered those intimate moments, and he smiled even more – so much so that he couldn't bring himself to finish shaving off some of the scruff that darkened his jaw near the ears.

On day 17, Oliver needed to pass by the fertility clinic for his tests before heading to City Hall for work. But before hitting the shower, he'd finished reading the journal's entry for the day. It had said quite succinctly, "Love waits." The Scripture text seemed a bit more poetic than usual to him. It was a quote from chapter two of the Song of Solomon, which read, "Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases." He had smiled for a while, taking a few moments to remember Ms. Bradford, one of the few teachers in his junior high years who had actually captured his interest with lessons in poetry. He was thankful he had paid attention instead of falling asleep (or ogling the attractive brunette sitting in the front row), because now he was confident that he understood what the poetic imperative about love meant and how it was applicable in his present situation. He knew that it was a lesson on waiting, patient waiting for the right time to act on his emotions and desires.

Despite Felicity's silence – and the emotional torture of not knowing whether or not she was seriously pursuing divorce – an intense longing had been stirred up in him in the last couple of days. A longing for the woman he had vowed to love and cherish for the rest of his life – the same woman who wasn't really responding to his recent gestures of affection, wasn't sure she was still willing to take him back even if she had already forgiven him, and was even contemplating on divorcing him. But yesterday's dare had him enumerate all the wonderful qualities of Felicity that he believed in, and that had awakened a host of pretty powerful feelings towards his wife. Those strong feelings had supplied the impetus for him to reiterate his unending love for her and his unwavering commitment to her through a phone call, which, unfortunately, went straight to her voicemail. She hadn't called back or even texted. But for Oliver, her presence in the lair last night and her carefree humming over the comms had been enough reassurance that he still had a fighting chance to win her heart.

For the day's dare, Oliver was supposed to avoid nagging his spouse about something he's been expecting her to do. He was supposed to drop expectations that he may have of her to reciprocate any kind deed he'd shown. Instead, he was to wait for his wife to initiate acts of love and kindness. More waiting. Great.

The tests at the clinic had gone smoothly. One very polite nurse had briefed him about the procedure before leaving him alone in one of the specimen collection rooms. Dr. Henderson immediately endorsed the specimen Oliver had collected to the med-tech at the clinic's lab, and then informed Oliver that he would personally call about the results as soon as they're ready. But even though things had been going well for him all day, Oliver had remained uneasy. He couldn't focus on his tasks entirely because he'd been itching to find out what Felicity's response was to his voicemail. Three times he'd attempted to call her, but he had changed his mind each time as he thought of the journal's dare.

Love waits. Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases.

By the end of the work day, he was tempted to drop by her office and offer a ride home in his limo if only they could have time to talk before going to the lair. But when he hopped into the car and Diggle asked him, "Where to?" he had simply said, "Home."

Love waits. Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases.

The words echoed in his ears, much like Felicity's humming had the night before. He struggled to keep calm. He even had to audibly remind himself a couple of times to take things slow and give his wife time. If Thea had seen him all day, she'd tease him for pining for Felicity, more than he'd care to admit.

To Oliver, it felt a lot like when he had become aware that he had felt something for Felicity beyond being partners, way back when she worked for QC as his EA, but he had denied his feelings because he thought things wouldn't work out between them because of the life he led as a vigilante. It felt a lot like when Felicity had spent more time in Central City visiting Barry Allen more frequently than he would have liked, when the guy had been in a coma after being struck by lightning. It felt a lot like when she had been with Ray Palmer sometime after he had pushed her away because of the repercussions of their disastrous first date. It felt a lot like those cold and dreary nights on that snowy mountain when Tatsu Yamashiro was nursing him back to health after Ra's sword nearly severed his life; Felicity was all he could think of then, giving him the will to survive and recover. It felt a lot like those many lonely, torturous nights of brain washing in Nanda Parbat when Ra's had assumed that he was succeeding in wiping out every memory of Oliver's identity and replacing them with a dark consciousness that would be subservient to the Demon's Head; in the midst of his sufferings, images and thoughts of Felicity, the sound of her voice, and the touch of her skin had kept him alive, kept him sane, and kept him hoping for victory so that he could finally come home to his city, to his family, to her. He had longed for her time and again in the past, and he longed for her now.

But there was a difference between then and now. This time, Oliver wasn't longing for something he didn't have. He was longing for something he already had, but probably lost… for good. Oliver already experienced what it's like for Felicity to be his and for him to be hers. She was his wife, and he had savored all the privileges and pleasures of being one with Felicity, but he had taken that precious gift for granted. He longed for her regretfully, fully aware of what he'd been missing. That was what made the longing and the waiting much harder.

But Oliver also looked at the brighter side of waiting. He realized that he was beyond pining for that one woman in the world that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He was done with brooding and sulking for idiotic, irrational reasons such as "she deserves better," or "I'm far too damaged to deserve someone like her." Yes, he longed for Felicity with regret, but at the same time he longed for her with hopeful determination that he would win her back no matter what, because he loved her with everything that's in him. It was Felicity who had believed in him, taught him never to give up or quit fighting for what he believed in. (He just never thought he'd be taking her advice when it came to fighting for her.) That – and everything he'd been learning and applying from the Love Dares journal – made his desire for the woman he loved burn more fervently than ever. Oliver longed for his wife ardently, now more than ever, and he was going to stop at nothing – come hell or high water – to win her back. Even if it meant he had to wait.

Love waits. Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases.

During the limo ride back to the loft, Oliver was deep in thought. He understood that winning his wife back simply by waiting wasn't going to be easy for him. He also knew that it might take some time before he could get a hint at where Felicity stood regarding their relationship. She would have to be the one to bring it up, and he decided that it would be better if he would wait for that to happen because he had already said everything there was to say. Oliver shook his head gently as he sighed, rubbing his palm against his scruff. "She probably isn't anywhere near ready to take even baby steps towards saving our marriage," he thought.

He thought wrong.

That night, Felicity arrived at the lair with a radiant smile on her face, looking gorgeous in her coral pink sleeveless islet dress (the hem of her skirt noticeably inches above her knees) even after a long day's work. She was the first to greet him and ask him how his day went, and he was more than happy to share with her a couple of good news about the city from the mayor's office. It was purely small talk, but he enjoyed every minute of it and was very eager to take their conversation to a deeper level. But when he was about to ask her about the message he sent to her voicemail, the rest of the team began to trickle in and join them. He realized that it probably wasn't the right time.

Love waits. Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases.

When the Team was complete, Laurel briefed them about everything that the SCPD and the DA's office had on the most recent threat to the city, which was the re-emergence of an enhanced version of Vertigo. According to Commissioner Lance, a notorious drug ring that had risen from a faction that had broken away from The Count's main operations (before his incarceration and eventual death at the hands of the Arrow) had started circulating an aerosol version of the dangerous drug. This time, however, the drug syndicate wasn't wreaking havoc in the Glades; their clients were among the city's elite, and they were dealing drugs in socialite circles not just at night but also in broad daylight. Police investigators had been finding it difficult to determine where the Vertigo was, theorizing that the drug has been mixed with expensive breath sprays, body sprays and perfume, or a dozen other aerosol products that Star City's elite used on themselves. As soon as Oliver led the Team into agreeing on a definite plan of action to help the SCPD bring down the drug ring, they suited up, ready to hit the streets and gather more intel.

Oliver picked up his bow and strapped on his quiver, and as he turned to put on his mask, he was surprised to find Felicity standing in front of him, his dark green mask in her hands. She gently helped him put the mask on, and then she flipped his hood over his head.

"How do I look?" he asked her, reminiscing the first time he had asked her that question when she helped him put on the first mask that Barry Allen had designed for him some years ago.

"Like you always do – a hero," she replied with a warm, earnest smile that spoke volumes of the pride she had of him.

Oliver smiled back. It had been months since she last helped him gear up, maybe more if he counted the last time she helped him gear up with a smile on her face. That night, Felicity's simple gesture was, to him, the best reward for waiting. His heart filled up to the brim with hope. And as he turned to walk towards the elevator to join Diggle, Thea, and Laurel, she surprised him a second time.

Felicity reached out and grabbed his hand. With a tender squeeze and a sparkle in her eyes, she told him, "Be careful." Those two words gave him an adrenaline boost that lasted until the wee hours of the morning.

Day 18

The next day was a Friday, and it was even better than the day before. Although he had just had a couple of hours of sleep, Oliver got up early and cooked up a hearty breakfast. He was on a roll, and he felt like he hit the jackpot prize in the state lottery when Felicity obliged and joined him for breakfast before heading out to work. Just before noontime, he wanted to call and invite her out to lunch, but he thought that was too much too soon, so he settled for a simple text message asking her how she was doing and if there was anything she'd like for him to pick up at the store on his way home. She texted back with just a few words: "Busy day. Mint chocolate chip please." One minute later, he got another text from her: "Thank you." It was shorter than the first one, but it had a smiley at the end.

When he was in the store waiting for his turn at the cashier, he thought of texting her if she needed anything else, but he held back. He didn't want her to feel like he was rushing things. He'd rather they take it slow, knowing that his wife would appreciate it better that way. He remembered what he had read from the journal that morning. "Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life," the Scripture quote had said. He liked that one very much, and he was looking forward to how he was going to do that with Felicity if she decides to give their marriage a second chance. He sincerely hoped she would, because he could think of nothing else that would make his life richer and happier than delighting in this wonderful woman. "Love takes delight," the journal had said.

The dare for the day challenged Oliver to purposefully neglect an activity that he would normally do so he can spend quality time with his spouse. He was supposed to do something that she would also love to do, or work on a project that they both really liked to work on. The whole point of the challenge was to just be together and find delight in that togetherness. Oliver knew that his wife's craving for her favorite ice cream gave him the perfect opportunity to invite Felicity to do just that.

As soon as he got home, Oliver called Diggle and asked if he, Thea, and Laurel could handle patrol that night without him and Felicity. Of course, Diggle instantly picked up on the reason behind the request and was more than glad to give way. Diggle said that they would just do routine patrol in the areas where Vertigo drug busts had gone down in the last couple of weeks but failed. Diggle assured Oliver that the three of them could handle it and that he should grab the rare chance to enjoy Felicity's company. When Diggle hung up, Oliver went to the kitchen and put a bottle of red wine in the chiller. He then called to order pizza – her favorite kind.

An hour after the pizza was delivered, Felicity still hadn't come home. Oliver's eyes were drooping as he watched the early evening news. He hadn't noticed how tired and sleepy he was after a long day at City Hall and not having slept well last night because of too much excitement that Felicity had helped him gear up at the lair. Soon, he fell asleep on the couch while waiting for her.

The sound of the loft's door opening and closing woke him up. When he opened his eyes, Felicity was taking off her coat. She walked towards him carrying her heels in her hand. As he sat up on one end of the couch, she dropped her shoes on the floor and sat on the opposite end of the couch, one of her legs bent underneath her. She heaved a sigh and put a forearm on her forehead.

"Long day, huh?" he asked.

"Yeah… Nothing pizza and mint chocolate chip can't cure," she replied with a smirk. "And you?"

"I think you saw what this day has done to me when you came in," he answered.

"Anything new on the evening news? Well, I mean, other than what the mayor already knows," she asked again.

"Same old," he answered again.

"Well, I hope we can find out more tonight about how we can stop the Vertigo from hurting more people in the city. We can go together, if you'd like," she said with a shy smile.

Oliver leaned forward a bit, but was careful not to invade her personal space. He cleared his throat and then said, "About that… I talked to John a while ago and he said that since tonight's agenda would still be just routine patrol and gathering of intel, you and I could just… I mean… I could take the time off and you… you could rest if you've had a long day. He said… he and Laurel and Thea could handle things tonight. Anyways, Lyla has two days off work and could very well stay home with Sara. So…" He spoke slowly and tentatively, his gaze shifting from Felicity's face to her fidgety fingers. He watched her eyes narrow and her lips press together, as if she were carefully considering how to respond to what he just said.

Felicity thought that the offer was strange. The Green Arrow had scarcely asked for a night off, and neither had she (except when she had walked out on him and stayed away for three weeks after finding out about Oliver's lie). Her first instinct was to worry that something was terribly wrong. Was Oliver sick or not feeling well? Was he brooding over something again? And then she thought that maybe there was something else he wanted to take up with her. Did he want to ask about the voicemail he had sent the other day? Was he going to bring up the divorce she had previously considered? They certainly hadn't had the chance to talk about that awkward incident at the restaurant when Clint Harwood had rudely interrupted their moment. Felicity knew she wasn't ready to talk about that, and for a brief moment her heart raced, anxious that Oliver was willing to skip vigilante duties that night to take up the matter with her. But she held her ground, took a deep breath, and scolded herself inwardly to get it together.

Instead of giving in to panic, she asked him calmly, "Are you feeling okay? Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong. I'm fine," Oliver assured her. He knew he was treading on thin ice and he had to choose his words wisely or risk drowning in cold water and destroying the evening altogether. For a while they just sat in silence. He wanted to say, "I just want to spend some quality time with my lovely wife and enjoy her company, because I truly miss her." But he ended up saying, "I ordered pizza."

"You did," Felicity responded with a chuckle, cocking her head at the box of delicious, greasy three-cheese and pepperoni pizza on the coffee table.

"Red wine's chilling in the fridge and the mint chocolate chip is in the freezer," he added.

"So, we're just pigging out?" she asked, teasing.

"Yeah, we are." He stood up to get the bottle of wine and two wine glasses.

She bent over and grabbed a slice of pizza. Deep inside she was relieved that he had no other agenda for the night except to lounge around and relax. Yeah, she thought too, Diggle and the girls can handle patrol for tonight.

They enjoyed a quiet conversation about far-from-sensitive topics over pizza and red wine. He even offered to massage her tired feet after they finished the last scoop of ice cream, and she caved in. Truth be told, Felicity liked the idea of taking the night off. Very much. It seemed like ages ago when they last did something like this and really had fun. Needless to say, she ended up delighting in his company just as much as he did until they said "good night" to each other at half past eleven. They both slept soundly until half past seven the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this chapter was a much-needed break from all the heavy drama and heart-wrenching developments of the previous chapters. It's much lighter, and meant to be a respite, not just for Olicity, but for me and, hopefully, you as well. It's also meant to set up the plot twist that's coming up ahead. So, please do be patient and read on. I hope to update sooner.


	11. Dare to Try Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity spend Saturday doing chores together and are able to talk. Really talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In keeping with my promise to try to update weekly or every other week, here is the most recent chapter. I decided to stretch out this portion in the storyline for another chapter because I thought it was necessary to show how both Oliver and Felicity are processing the status of their relationship up to this point, and to build up before... well, I don't want to spoil anything. This chapter takes place in just one day, Oliver taking up just one dare. So, enjoy the fluff and savor their moments here, and then brace for what's coming in the next chapters.

Day 19

Oliver woke up at 7:30, to his amazement and amusement.

He couldn't believe he had slept soundly that long, because he very rarely did. From the time the Queen's Gambit went down until their Ivy Town days, he'd endured countless sleepless nights or endless nightmares. Being with Felicity had lengthened his slumbering hours. Starting from that summer when they drove off into the sunset in his Porsche, and up until they had defeated Darkh, she had patiently helped him through tumultuous nocturnal anguish. She would whisper comforting words to soothe him when he sprang up from bed shaking and covered in cold sweat, cradling his larger frame from behind him in her warm and fragile, yet caring arms. The nightmares had decreased and gradually tapered off by the time they got married, but had returned occasionally since Felicity moved her stuff to the guest room of the Loft and slept separately from him. He had only started sleeping somewhat well again about a week into the 40-day challenge of the Love Dares journal.

Oliver sat up and leaned backwards on the headboard of the king-sized bed. He reached for the journal and began to read. "Love fights fair," the entry for the day said. He raised his eyebrow and then his forehead crinkled. "Odd," he thought, "Why would love have to fight?" He was somewhat confused because he'd been learning that true love is patient and kind, not rude or irritable, and certainly not easily provoked. So he read on and became even more confused with the metaphor presented by the Scripture quote. "If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand." Oliver lifted his hand and began to stroke his sandy blonde hair. He read the devotional entry twice over and pondered. And then slowly, he understood.

The dare for the day had him talk with his spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. Together they were supposed to come up with certain "rules to fight by" on what they would do in case of a disagreement, misunderstanding, or an outright quarrel or conflict. These were rules that they both had to agree to, and they had to resolve to abide by those rules whenever conflict occurs. The rationale behind this challenge was that a marriage (or a family) that's not united definitely won't stand a chance against the attacks of an enemy, be it external or internal, tangible or intangible. Oliver learned that conflicts are better handled if one – or better yet, both spouses – are prepared to confront them. The dare specifically instructed that if his spouse is not ready for something like this, then he could write out his own personal guidelines by himself and stick with them when conflict happens.

Oliver sighed on this one. It wasn't going to be easy. How on earth was he going to initiate a talk with his wife about conflict management and resolution? Was she even willing to talk about something like that? Or would such a discussion only cause pent-up emotions and unresolved issues to surface? Why would he even want to make up rules for quarreling? Didn't he intend to make peace with the woman he was trying to win back? He was just beginning to experience how it is to enjoy Felicity in peaceful company again in the last few days, hoping for a full reconciliation. Why would he even entertain the idea that he and she would fight again? He recognized the reality that every relationship encounters conflict, but he wasn't ready for that. Not again. Not yet, at least.

Skip it. His heart suggested it. Highly recommended it. His heart was almost sure it was the right resort. Not if his brain had anything to say about it.

Oliver had never ignored any of the journal's challenges in the last nineteen days, even those that had seemed impossible, and none of them had ever failed him yet. They had only brought him closer and closer to winning back the love of his life. The devotionals in the leather-bound notebook had caused some major changes in his perspective, in his attitudes, his desires and choices. Good changes. Changes he liked. Changes that freed him from burdens of guilt and hopelessness. Changes that must have been responsible for him seeing Felicity smile again, speak with him again, and touch him again. Never had the two words "good night" been so special to him than the one that left her lips last night, almost in a whisper, making him feel warm and ecstatic all over.

Rules of engagement. As the Green Arrow, he knew it was wisdom. He had been trained by some of the best fighters who had taught him how to engage the enemy and also when not to. Indeed, the best way to outsmart and outthink your opponent is to study his tactics and come up with a sensible plan to exploit his weaknesses and evade his strengths. The best way to succeed in any mission is to first try to understand what you're up against, to count the cost, and then to put a logical plan in place before deploying your people, each doing what he or she does best. This was how he and Diggle and Felicity had always worked together. Together. "A house divided against itself won't stand." This was how they had trained Roy sometime ago, and now Laurel and Thea. They had taught the team how to confront danger and conflict even before they had to face it. They'd talked about it many times over, before they actually suited up and engaged their enemies. How could he not have seen the value of rules of engagement?

Rules to fight by. He was willing to try. It's not as if he was going to pick a fight with his wife just to be able to test if such rules work. It's not because he was scared that he would screw up again so he'd better be ready for the next time it happens. It's because he now recognized that unity with his wife on such an important aspect of marriage – that of handling conflict – was vital to their relationship. Once he is fully and truly reconciled with Felicity, he'd be foolish to think that they'd never have conflicts again. (He wasn't thinking about the petty ones, of course, but the really big ones.) Neither of them was perfect, after all. He could mess up again, no matter how unintentionally, or she might. The journal and the Scripture quote made sense. Better ready than sorry.

Oliver thought for a second or two before he came up with his first rule. "Never match Felicity's loud voice. Do not even try. You'll never get through to her that way," he said to himself like a parent admonishing a child. He closed the journal as he smiled. "One rule is enough for now," he thought to himself, "Let's just see how it goes." Oliver decided that he'd feel his way through that day, test the waters and see how receptive Felicity would be to the idea, and if she was in the mood to talk at all.

Breakfast was ready by the time he made it to the kitchen. That was a pleasant surprise, actually. Felicity had made breakfast and set it for two on the kitchen counter. It was nothing fancy, just scrambled eggs and some toast with butter and jam; she also brought out some milk from the fridge and two kinds of cereal – one that she liked and another that he liked. But to Oliver, it was certainly something. Felicity getting up before him in the morning and making the effort of preparing a meal was something. It was a sign that things were looking up for them. It was an olive branch. She was now the one reaching out to him, and that made him smile, made him remember that it pays to wait. The eggs were a bit overdone, but never had scrambled eggs tasted like heaven to Oliver Queen.

After their meal, he offered to clean up and do the dishes. She offered to do the laundry, their laundry. (Saturday was laundry day for both of them, if nothing else in their day jobs got in the way.) It was another olive branch she extended, which he happily and eagerly accepted. By the time he finished tidying up in the kitchen and went upstairs to his room to collect his dirty clothes, she was already there. His breath hitched at the sight of his wife in his room (theirs, in his mind). "When was the last time she was here?" he tried to recall exactly but couldn't. It had been so long since they'd been in there together.

Felicity still hadn't changed after breakfast; she was still in her grey tank tops and pink pajama shorts, which showed off her silky smooth and flawless limbs. Her hair was up in a messy bun, a few stray strands dropping like vines along the side of her neck. She sat on the floor sorting his dark-colored clothes from his light-colored ones. She had a large clothes basket already filled with her dirty clothes. Another empty basket was sitting right beside the pile of his dirty clothes on the floor. Her back was turned against him, so she couldn't see that he'd been watching her, admiring her. He gave it another half a minute before he spoke up and startled her.

"Need a hand?" Oliver asked, his arms crossed in front of his chest as he leaned against the door frame of his room.

When she realized he was standing right there behind her, she turned and said, "Sure. You grab whites and lights. I'll do the dark and colored ones." She smiled as she pushed her dark-rimmed glasses up the bridge of her nose. "I could also use your help loading the washer and then the dryer later."

Oliver was happy that she accepted his offer to help. He approached her, sat on the floor right across her, and began sorting clothes. They worked on larger pieces first – some tees and dress shirts, pants and jeans and sweatpants, and some towels. And as they moved on to sorting his underwear, Felicity began to grin as she held a pair of navy blue boxer shorts he loved to sleep in.

"What's so funny?" Oliver asked, grinning himself.

"I love these boxers. They really… fit... nicely," she replied, a blush creeping onto her cheeks.

Oliver meant to counter-tease, spotting a matching Victoria's Secret bra and underwear that he loved seeing her wear, but he instantly held back with all the restraint he could muster, fearing that she might think it inappropriate, or that he might send her the wrong signal. He just politely said, "Well, coming from my wife, I'll take that as a compliment."

Felicity's face flushed red as she scratched a fake itch behind her ear. He gazed intently upon her with a loving smile, but her eyes avoided his. She did not protest that he seemed to have emphasized the fact that she was his wife, because the truth is, those two words gave her a bit of a thrill. She simply said, "You're welcome. It is a compliment." She then bit down on her lower lip to keep herself from saying more.

They carried on with the task, both of them quiet the rest of the time. When they were done sorting, they each picked up a basket of clothes and headed to the laundry room where they started working on washing their clothes. The room was the second smallest space in the loft (next to the utility room), especially because they had stored there some of the boxes of their stuff from Ivy Town that hadn't fit in the closet-sized storage area. Because of the cramped space, physical contact was inevitable – a brush of the skin here and there, hips and elbows bumping into each other. It didn't take long until their hands found each other when they both reached for the box of detergent at the same time. And that's when their eyes met.

Peace. Contentment. Happiness. Those were what they saw in each other's eyes. And they knew, without a doubt, that they were both beginning to heal. So much more needed to be said. So much more needed to be worked out. He hadn't even asked about the voicemail, much less about the possible divorce. She hadn't had the chance to finish what she'd begun to say in the restaurant, to clarify what she meant about "not being sure if she still had it in her to keep on risking getting hurt by him again," like she'd confessed that night. She hadn't been able to tell him whether or not she'd be willing to give their marriage another chance. What mattered was that forgiveness had rewarded them with significant relief, which both of them vitally needed. They'd reached a point where there was an openness to try again, a welcome invitation to mend.

Felicity was the one who broke the silence. "This is nice," she remarked.

"Yeah, it is," Oliver responded. "Can't remember the last time we did laundry together." He smiled at her.

"No, I meant… I meant us," she clarified. "Can't remember the last time we had fun doing something together, just… together… quiet weekend." She dropped her gaze and looked down at the box of detergent, moving to put some powdery soap into the washer.

His smile widened, but he said nothing. He just watched her hands work, the same hands that flew over a keyboard with ferocious virtuosity night after night as the Arrow's technical support, hands that used to caress his tired muscles tenderly night after night as Oliver Queen's devoted wife.

"This is so much better than arguing all the time, sort of like a ceasefire," she added with a chortle.

Oliver was charmed by that chortle. At that moment he remembered something that Sara Lance had said. Sara was right about her. Felicity was cute, and he couldn't agree with her more. That moment was nice. Being with her was nice. In fact, he wouldn't mind doing laundry everyday if it meant being in close proximity to her. He wouldn't mind doing their laundry every single day for the rest of their lives if it guaranteed they'd be resolving conflicts more maturely from here on.

"So, this is a ceasefire?" Oliver asked, half teasing, half serious in tone.

"Well, yeah. In a way, it is, at least for me. Don't you think so, too?" she asked, looking up at him.

"I do. Come to think of it, these past several months have been… exhausting," he replied. Making the most of the opportunity now before him, Oliver went on to say, "I've actually been meaning to ask you if… if we could… talk. There are some things I need to ask, some things I need to know."

Felicity closed the washer and pushed the button to start the cycle. She then turned to him, moved away from the machine, and reached out to touch his forearm.

"I know," she responded. "We didn't exactly have closure about where our relationship now stands. Clint Harwood stepped in and ruined the moment." She smiled and dropped her hand to her side. He smiled back.

Felicity continued, "I've also wanted to tell you how much I appreciate what you said both times… the text and the voicemail. I know you've said that you still… love me. And I believe you." Oliver's heart fluttered, and he gazed at her even more intently as she added, "It really means a lot… seeing that you're giving me space and time to figure things out for myself, and knowing that you'll support whatever I decide about the…" Her voice wobbled and then faded out. She didn't know how to approach a very sensitive subject of divorce.

"Felicity, I understand what it is. You went to see Harwood, so..." Oliver couldn't say the word either. He was afraid that it might come true if either of them actually verbalized it.

"I… I only contemplated filing papers at the height of my anger, and… and I was hurting really bad, and…" Tears began to well up in Felicity's eyes.

"Hey, it's okay," he said. This time he was the one who reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently to comfort her. "Like I said, whatever you decide, I will-"

"You'll what, Oliver?" she interrupted him calmly with a question, which was more like a plea.

He took a deep breath, and with both hands now steady on her shoulders, he continued, "Whatever you decide, I will still keep on loving you. You are my always, Felicity. Nothing can change that." He wanted to pull her into an embrace, but he wasn't sure if it was the right time or the right move. He wasn't sure if it was okay.

Oh, but it was. Because as soon as her first teardrop fell, she took one step towards him and fell into his arms. "I know," she whispered as her cheek made contact with his chest. "I'm just… I'm just not quite there yet. You know? I can't just jump right in like nothing happened. I've hurdled the first step and forgiven you, but trusting you completely again is different. I'm just not ready yet."

"It's okay. I understand," was Oliver's sweet and sincere response, but deep inside him, he ached. It hurt to see and feel one more time how much she is suffering because of him and what he'd done, even though she'd already released forgiveness. He stroked her back affectionately, letting her cry into his shirt.

After a minute or so, her sobs and sniffles faded. When she pulled back, she saw the wet spot that her tears had left on his dark blue cotton shirt and gasped. "Oh, look what I've done! I'm so sorry. You now have the map of Australia on your shirt."

Oliver laughed. Even when she cried, he was totally amused by her, and he totally missed moments like this. "Don't worry about it. It's fine. We can just throw it into the washer together with the dark ones later."

Felicity rubbed her palm on the soiled spot on his chest. She had no idea what that gesture had done to his nerves. He caught her hand, ending the sensation. And this time, because he had taken the cue from her falling into his embrace on her own volition, he took the chance. He lifted her hand and pressed his lips against her wrist for a kiss right at her pulse point. She gasped, and as she let out her breath, her open palm cradled his cheek. She had missed doing that, missed stroking his scruffy jaw line. They smiled at each other lovingly.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"You never have to thank me, Felicity."

"But-"

"Take your time. When you're ready, I'll be right here, waiting."

Felicity nodded as Oliver let go of her hand.

They left the laundry room together. As they walked towards the kitchen where they would wait for the machine to finish washing the first load, Oliver remembered what he had read in the dare diary earlier that morning. Love fights fair. Rules to fight by. He decided to take the opportunity to follow through with the challenge. After all, she'd been the first one to call this situation a ceasefire. He didn't see why they couldn't calmly engage in peace talks.

"What do you say we make the most of the truce?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" Felicity answered with another question.

"Well, I figured that since we seem to be in the mood for peace talks, we might as well take advantage of the opportunity to discuss some rules of engagement," Oliver answered with raised eyebrows, anticipating a positive response.

Her eyes narrowed for a moment. "Rules of engagement?" she asked, puzzled. "Like in the army, or special ops? I've only ever heard of that term from John and Lyla."

"Something like that," he answered. "I've been learning a lot of things lately, things I wouldn't have realized if all of this hadn't happened the way they did. I think it might be a good idea if we talked about how to handle conflict, in case… well, if it happens again. Not that I'm wishing for us to quarrel again. And I'm not about to pick a fight, but-"

"Oliver, usually I'm the one rambling, or taking in sentence fragments," Felicity said with a laugh.

He laughed, too, and then when he recovered, he went on with what he wanted to say. "I just think it's better for us to be ready for conflict. Like how the Team does it. Perhaps, we could talk about what we'd do or how we'd respond when we start to disagree or fight about something again. And I'm sure we will, considering you and I… you know?"

"Yeah," she responded with an impish smile. "You and I… we seem to have a knack for… fighting. And I mean that in more than one way," she teased. "Not that I'm implying that we're some sort of war freaks, like Slade or Ra's or Darkh. No! And please tell me that didn't sound anywhere near dirty or flirty, because I totally did not mean it that way. I meant that we really like fighting for this city… against criminals and terrorists. And it seems that bantering and arguing are just second nature to us, and… and just giving each other a hard time is as natural as breathing." She chuckled, realizing she had once again babbled away.

"I know what you meant," Oliver said. He liked that their conversation had become much lighter in just a matter of minutes after their "moment" in the laundry room. Felicity seemed more relaxed now, and he was seeing more of her old self coming back.

"So, how do we do this? Do we draw up a plan?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"We can keep it simple first. Maybe just draw up a short list of what to do or not to do. We can just keep adding or subtracting later," he proposed.

"Okay," she replied with a tilt of her head that he'd always, always found adorable. "You go first."

Oliver pressed his lips together, thinking back about how to phrase the first rule he'd come up with when reading the journal early that morning. When he spoke, he did so with a twinkle in his eyes. "Well, what do you think of this one? It's actually for me." He shifted his weight to his other foot, leaning sideways on the kitchen counter on an elbow, and said, "When your wife is angry, never match her loud voice. Do not even risk trying, coz you'll never get through to her that way. How's that?"

Felicity didn't need time to think about it. "I like it already," she said candidly, matching the twinkle in his eyes. "My turn." She mounted the kitchen counter stool and planted her elbows firmly on the granite top, her fingers intertwining as she placed her chin on them. She looked at the ceiling while biting on her lip, and thought for a moment. "This next one's for me, just so we're even. When your husband is upset, shut up and listen to what he has to say. And listen harder for what he isn't saying."

Oliver simply smiled, still looking straight into her bright, now tearless blue eyes. He felt overwhelmed by how this wonderful woman he had married had come to know him so well.

"Hey, say something. Don't tell me you don't agree with that one. It's a perfect rule to fight by," she said jokingly. "What?"

Oliver moved to sit beside her, mounting the other kitchen counter stool. He leaned sideways towards her until his shoulders touched hers. He turned to her, their faces just inches apart, and said, "I think rule number two is a perfect match for rule number one."

"I think so, too," she agreed.

"We could stop here for now, if you like," Oliver suggested. "Those two already require effort from me and you. We could try them first. You know, for the next time we face a... a challenge? Maybe get the hang of them, before we come up with more."

"Is the Green Arrow afraid he couldn't handle more?" she teased. His forehead furrowed, but before he could object, she quickly added, "Just kidding!" She nudged him with her elbow.

He smiled at her. "I miss you kidding. It's remarkable. You're remarkable," he told her.

"Well, thank you for remarking on it," she responded, tilting her head sideways towards him, her voice almost in a soft whisper. The memory of a time early on in their friendship flashed across her mind, conjuring up other memories of her sitting behind her desk at the IT department in QC, wondering when Oliver Queen would come visit her office again, crushing on him and wishing he'd one day notice.

As if by instinct, they both moved to rest their heads on each other, sitting quietly there, the calm sound of their breathing interrupted minutes later by a loud ring signaling that the washer's cycle was done.

The rest of the day was spent doing chores together, taking mutual pleasure from the simplicity of doing domestic stuff. With just the right amount of fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed the fluff. Maybe you did, too. Comments and reviews are welcome as always.


	12. How Dare You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver is confronted with a very personal issue and resolved it himself. Dinner with Felicity and Curtis does not turn out well, and everything goes downhill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I don't know what happened, but I got this done early so I thought I might as well post it already. Surprised myself too.
> 
> So, this chapter is the halfway point in the 40-day Love Dare challenge. This is also, by far, the longest chapter in this fic, I think. 
> 
> I'm not sure how you will take this, and at a certain point in the angst you might think the direction I'm taking doesn't make sense, but please bear with the story and see how things play out. You might even hate me for this, but just the same, I wrote this from my heart, and I sure would appreciate you reading it and leaving a review, if it's not too much of a bother. Thank you.

Day 20

"Love always protects." That's what the dare diary said the next day, Sunday. It pointed out how love ought to be keenly aware of the different threats that could lead to the breakdown in a marriage relationship and to do whatever it takes to guard that relationship from those threats, above all other relationships in one's life.

Oliver learned that the threats may be external, such as misguided priorities that rob couples of quality time together, the tyranny of the urgent that stands in the way of honest-to-goodness bonding between spouses. He also learned that other external attacks may come in the form of hasty and hurtful words that attack your spouse, whether intentionally or unintentionally, and even more obvious ones like a third party that tries to come between a husband and wife.

Moreover, Oliver learned that internal threats are probably more serious in nature because they are more subtle – sometimes they creep in unawares, and before you know it, they've got you trapped or sent you in a downward spiral that's almost impossible to reverse. He recognized some of the examples cited in the devotional, and he couldn't agree with them more because he and Felicity have experienced near-lethal doses of the poisons of frustrations, unmet or unrealistic expectations, of bringing up past wounds and playing the blame game when things go wrong or bad decisions are made, of harboring anger and bitterness, of indulging an unforgiving heart, and – the worse of them all – of keeping secrets that betray a lack of trust in one's spouse.

He and Felicity didn't exactly have the best role models when it came to relationships and marriage, so rushing head-on against these threats was more like a losing battle for both of them. Oliver felt that even if someone had given him a copy of the Love Dare journal earlier in his life, it wouldn't have made any difference, because one, he wouldn't have read it, and two, he would still have had to learn his lessons the hard way, considering how stubborn and arrogant he was.

As he read on, he got to the part where the devotional emphasized lust as a very real and very dangerous potential threat in a marriage. It explained that emotional frustrations, unmet physical needs, and sexual dissatisfaction are often factors that lead to sensual habits and self-indulging practices, which damage not only one's personal purity but also the intimacy that ought to be shared exclusively by a man and his wife. It went on to say that when unrestrained, selfish desires are allowed to continue unchecked, one or both spouses become vulnerable to the temptation of engaging in an extramarital affair. At first, Oliver thought that this would NEVER ever apply to him (at least, not anymore) because Felicity was the love of his life, his endgame. There was no one else on the face of the earth he would rather be emotionally and physically intimate with but her. Sex with someone else was unthinkable!

But as he pondered upon the thought, he realized that he had every reason to beware of the dormant tendency to go back to his old self – Ollie, the billionaire playboy who would bed any woman he wanted, anytime he wanted, regardless of who gets hurt, just so that he could get laid and gratify his urge for a night. Ollie Queen certainly had a long list of women, including the nameless ones, which would prove that that tendency to give in existed.

Loving Felicity more than his very life didn't mean that he was immune to the advances of other females, even those who were willing to cross the line with a married man. In every charity gala or business function, and even in social events that he had to host or attend, there was at least one desperate woman who would flirt with him (more, if you count the countless instances before he'd been elected as mayor of Star City), and brazenly so, if he were to add, for quite a handful dared to do it even in the presence of his wife.

Loving Felicity despite the challenges they were facing didn't mean that he didn't struggle with his masculine needs. Many a night, in his loneliness and desperation since she started refusing him (and even more so when he and she had stopped making love altogether), he had resorted to a few of his old tricks. Those had worked for him when he was stranded on the island and whenever he felt lonely or empty after he returned to Starling City. But those merely brought temporary relief. With Felicity, he was whole. He needed not look elsewhere, because nothing compared with the guilt-free euphoria he experienced each time he was intimate with his wife… back in the days when they didn't share their bed with hurt and blame.

Oliver stopped reading and closed his eyes shut. As he processed these things, guilt and regret set in. He hadn't let his guard down when it came to other women. Nope. He didn't want to be with anyone else except Felicity, and he wouldn't dare. Throwing caution the wind and grabbing himself a one-night stand or having an affair just because he missed his wife terribly was out of the question! The thought made him cringe. Fidelity had taken on a special significance to Oliver Queen since he and she found themselves in each other.

In the lust department, however, he'd been missing the mark. There was no point denying that. He may have intentionally picked out a rated movie in Netflix a month ago and found that the images he had seen then kept coming back each time frustration with Felicity set in. He may have started noticing the voluptuous front of the newest female intern in the mayor's office a week or so ago, wiping the cold sweat on his forehead a couple of times she'd brought him coffee and leaned forward to place it on his desk and showcase the said physical asset. The smut magazines and videos in the specimen collection room of the fertility clinic a few days ago didn't help either. He may have bought a few similar copies in a store that day and tucked them away in the bottom drawer of his dresser just in case he needed them. He may have looked through them last night, at the end of a wonderful day of chores with Felicity, a day replete with live-wire feelings of want that were triggered by the touch of her soft skin, the alluring smell of her hair, the radiance in her eyes and in her smile, the fabulous curves on her body – all of which left him craving for more. Of her.

Back in the days, he didn't see anything wrong with the usual alternatives to have his manly urges sated, but now he knew better. And it was not just because he was realizing how it could affect his marriage adversely. It was more because he was convinced that there can be absolutely no substitute for the kind of emotional intimacy and sexual satisfaction that he's already tasted just by being with his wife. Just her.

For the day's dare, Oliver was supposed to remove any hindrance to his relationship with his wife. That meant anyone or anything that threatened the vow they had made to each other, be it external or internal. In his case, he understood that the attacks currently assaulting his personal purity and his marriage were mostly internal. He knew he had to do something about his lustful cravings before things get out of hand. He loved Felicity, and he desired to protect her and their marriage from himself.

Oliver got out of bed and pulled open the bottom drawer of his dresser. He lifted a few sweaters and sweatpants and pulled out two magazines and a DVD and dumped them into the trash bin in his bathroom. He took the trash, headed downstairs to the utility room, and put the trash in a garbage bag. He went straight to the end of the hallway of their floor, opened the garbage chute, and dropped the same garbage bag into it. He blew out a good breath and shut the chute. With a small smile forming on his lips, he rubbed his palms of the guilt and regret he'd felt and left them there before he went back into the Loft, resolute that he will stop entertaining lustful thoughts and indulging lustful desires through lewd behavior.

As presented in the day's challenge, he made a promise with his eyes that they were going to look only at his wife. He made a promise with the rest of his body that every part of it would be reserved exclusively for her to appreciate and enjoy, when the time comes that she'd be ready for him once again. He hoped that time would come soon. Because he missed her warmth so much. Because he longed for her like she were his last breath. Because he wanted her with every passionate cell in his body. Until such time, Oliver chose to wait. Because he loved her.

Love is patient. Love waits. Love protects.

As soon as he was back in the Loft, he ran back upstairs to take a very cold shower.

***************************

Later that day, Oliver found himself sitting in a booth at Big Belly Burger with Felicity and Curtis, tinkering with his phone. The two Palmer Tech geniuses had agreed to meet there for a working dinner to get ready for the following day's presentation of a proposal for cost-cutting measures in the manufacturing of the bio-stimulant chip, which would hopefully get the Board members to approve an earlier public launch for the said technological advancement. Since he wasn't going anywhere, Felicity invited him to tag along, assuring him that it was fine with Curtis, who was going to be picked up by Paul at 9:30 anyway. Although she had made it clear that she was a big girl who could take care of herself and drive home safely by herself, she still told him with a wink, "I could sure use the company." Of course, he grabbed the chance and offered to drive her there and back. It didn't matter if he had no idea what he would be doing while the geeky pair worked.

So, Oliver spent almost the entire time they were there checking and answering emails to the mayor using his phone, a skill which he had only recently learned to maximize under the tutelage of Thea, since Felicity had not exactly been available for him in the last few months. The task literally took him hours – what with his fingers being too large for the letters and numbers he had to tap one by one on a screen that was many times smaller than the keyboard of his desktop computer or the one on his tablet – in between extended moments of fondly watching his wife work with wonder in her eyes, chattering enthusiastically with Curtis. The sight of her doing what she loved and did best was so much better than the scrumptious burger, fries, and milkshake he had devoured within the first thirty minutes of hanging out in their favorite burger joint.

Oliver had noticed that her phone had beeped a couple of times, but each time she checked who the text message was from, she had frowned, decided against replying, and pushed her phone away. After that, she had ignored her phone ringing about three times over the past two hours. And even when Curtis finally asked, "Aren't you gonna get that? Could be important," Felicity simply shrugged, shook her head, saying, "It's not," and resumed work on her tablet. It was so unlike Felicity to respond to the buzzing of her phone that way, he had thought.

As Felicity sipped what was left of her second serving of vanilla milkshake, her phone rang again for the fourth time. Curtis must have had enough of the untimely distractions and tactlessly blurted out with a scowl on his face, "That Harwood? Hate that guy!"

Oliver's eyebrows shot up to his hairline just about the same time that Curtis' eyes popped out and mouth gaped open. Three seconds of awkward, stunned silence passed before Curtis turned to Felicity and said remorsefully, "Sorry…"

Oliver's eyes narrowed, as his gaze shifted between the two. Curtis couldn't look either of them in the eye. Felicity avoided Oliver's stare.

"So that's who's been bothering her," he thought.

He had noticed Felicity dodging a phone call when they were folding the laundry and then again while cooking lunch at the Loft the day before. She had frowned upon seeing the caller's ID both times. She had eventually taken the second call (apparently, from the same person) in her room while he was setting the table, and then she came back without saying anything about it. He hadn't thought much about it then, dismissing any tinge of concern to the fact that the call could have been work related, or that it could have been from Donna wanting to discuss something private with her. But then again, earlier today she'd gotten two texts. He had assumed that they were from the same person because she frowned in the same way upon seeing the same caller ID and went back to her exercise routine on the mats she'd laid out in the living room, somewhat annoyed by the unpleasant interruption.

Curtis' phone buzzed. Good for him. "Uhm… Paul's parked outside. I guess… I should… get going. Thanks for dinner, Ms. Smoak," he said, as he slowly eased his way out of the booth, picking up his things. He only called her Ms. Smoak these days if he thought he was in trouble. "Good evening, Mr. Queen," he greeted Oliver, and the decathlete sprinted out of the burger joint like he was aiming to beat a world record, relieved that he would not have to witness what would happen after.

"Felicity," Oliver started to speak. He tried to remain calm, allow his favorite name in the world to roll out of his tongue in the most caring way possible so as not to piss her off. "How long has this been going on?"

Felicity heaved a sigh and answered, "I don't want to talk about it."

"I am asking nicely."

"I said I don't want to talk about it." Her voice sounded tense and guarded, and she was still avoiding his stare.

"Well, you talked to Curtis about it. Obviously."

She picked up on the sarcasm and glared at him.

"I'm sorry," he quickly apologized.

"Okay," she quickly responded.

He stared at her fidgety fingers, and then his jaw clenched before he said, "Please don't shut me out, Felicity. If he's bothering you, I'd like to know. I might be able to help."

Felicity knew he wasn't about to let up, so she put her tablet on sleep mode. She looked up at him with a tentative smile that didn't quite reach her ears. "Oliver, it's fine. No worries. He might be overstepping his ethical boundaries somewhat, but it's nothing I can't handle. There's no need for the Green Arrow to put the fear of God into him."

"I didn't mean that," he clarified, more concerned that his suspicions had just been confirmed, and then he offered, "I can talk to him as me."

"No. That's not necessary," she refused.

"It'll be short and simple. I promise," he reiterated.

"No!" Her voice was louder, and the people in the booth behind them and in the nearby tables turned to look at what caused a sudden outburst.

Oliver was silent for a while, and then he carried on, trying his best to stay calm and collected. "I didn't mean to upset you. I really just-"

"You really just won't take no for an answer," Felicity retorted sharply. Clearly she was upset.

"It's not like that. I really just want to protect you," he explained in his defense, recalling the things he had read from the journal that morning. "I'm your husband. It's my responsibi-"

Felicity apparently had unresolved issues that triggered an even more antagonistic response to the sincere concern Oliver was trying to express, because she didn't let him finish. "Your responsibility?! Oliver, we've been over this many times. You are not the boss of me. This is my life, my choice!" She repeated the same lines she had used with him many times in the past. "And really, this thing with Harwood is none of your business. So stop being an over-zealous, over-jealous caveman and just let me handle it myself."

Oliver felt his chest tighten in anger, but he reined in his temper and swallowed hard. "Love fights fair," he recited in his head. He reminded himself of their rules to fight by. As per Rule #1, he knew he wouldn't get through to Felicity if he matched the level of her voice and emotion.

"I disagree," he answered, his voice firm and stern, but not intensely aggressive. "This is our life. I'm your husband, and you are still my wife. I have the right to be jealous – not because of some childish insecurity or fear of losing you, but because we made a promise to be partners for life, and I'm supposed to fight for you."

He paused for a second, but didn't hesitate to continue. "I'm standing by my commitment to love you for the rest of my life, and that certainly includes protecting you from guys like him. It includes protecting you even from yourself. And this thing with Harwood? It is my business, because in this marriage, I am the man responsible to take care of you."

He paused again and waited for her eyes to meet his. "I really don't need your permission to talk to Harwood, Felicity, but I respect you enough to let you know that that's what I intend to do, because at this point, I can see that it's the right thing to do when an arrogant, malicious guy won't leave my wife alone. I'm not going to see him about the divorce, if that's what you're worried about. That is your business, and I won't get in your way if… if you're dead set on pursuing it. You're the strongest, bravest woman I've ever known, but please… Honey, let me take care of you. Please don't take that away from me. Not yet, at least."

Felicity was stunned. Oliver's lengthy, earnest, and very carefully worded speech was too much for her to swallow at that moment. It was like having an emotional indigestion. She didn't know how to react to everything he had just said. All she knew was how she felt – angry, beaten, and confused. But there was also a part of her that was touched. Quite deeply. Even if she hadn't figured that out yet. She needed some time to process everything.

That was why she didn't say anything except "I… I'm sorry, but I need some air."

She picked up her tablet and her purse and left their booth. She walked out of Big Belly, hailed a taxi cab, and headed home without him.

***********************

Day 21

First thing Monday morning, the mayor called Harwood's law firm and requested for an urgent meeting. The secretary was able to squeeze it into her big-shot boss's hectic schedule, and Oliver arrived at his office in the newest business district in Star City at 10:15 sharp.

It took Oliver less than five minutes to say what he had to say. He was totally prepared with a three-point outline etched in his head. First, he told Harwood that he wasn't there about the divorce because that was Felicity's decision to make. Second, he told Harwood that the constant texting and calling had been annoying and upsetting Felicity, and suggested that he learn how to take a hint when a woman refuses to answer his texts and calls. Third, he told Harwood that he was there to politely ask him, man to man, to stop texting and calling her and to wait for her to contact him instead. It was a fairly sensible and courteous request, Oliver thought.

But when Harwood responded with "How dare you walk in here and tell me what to do or not to do! I get why she wants to leave you," and wouldn't listen to reason, Oliver's voice deepened and darkened, and it was like the Green Arrow himself had growled at the man, minus the leather, the hood, the mask, and the voice modulator. He was about to say "How dare you" back at the conceited legal counselor, but he held back. Instead, he closed the distance between them, stopping and standing confidently in front of Harwood. The medium-sized, polished oak desk was the only thing standing in their way.

"Don't make me ask twice," Oliver said emphatically, standing confidently just a couple of feet in front of Harwood. "Right now, Felicity and I are still married. In my book, that counts for something. No, it's everything. I don't know how much you value your own marriage, but I love my wife very much, and I will not stand by and let you push her to do anything she neither wants nor is ready for. Respect her wishes. Stay clear of everyone else's spouse. And you and I won't have any problems."

And just like that, Oliver walked out of Harwood's office. There would have been a handshake, if the lawyer had been wiser, but he was a fool. Oliver didn't want to crush his already trembling hand. He took the guy's ashen face and quivering lips as a positive response. He was pleased that he had accomplished his mission without a bow and an arrow.

************************

That pleasure what short-lived, however.

Oliver was glad that he had dealt with the Harwood problem without complications. But when he arrived at the bunker ahead of everyone else that night, there was a letter on Felicity's desk waiting for him. Her wedding ring was the paper weight that kept it in place. The moment he spotted the ring and the letter, his heart sank.

He didn't have to read the letter to know what it was about: she wanted out. He knew she was very upset when she left him at Big Belly last night, but she had only said that she needed some air. He thought she just needed some time to clear her head; he didn't think she would leave for good. What's more, leaving Oliver Queen he could understand… and accept. But quitting the team? He couldn't believe she would dare to do it. Not after everything they've been doing for the city together all these years. Protecting Star City was just as much her passion as it was his.

He wouldn't go near her work station. He couldn't pick up the ring and the letter, let alone read it. He didn't' have the heart. So, he went to the training area and took out his sadness, disappointment, and hurt on the training dummy.

Later on Diggle arrived. He was the one who picked up the ring and the letter with Oliver's name on the envelope. "Oliver, have you seen this?" he hollered. No answer. He approached Oliver who was already working the salmon ladder turbulently, sweating profusely. "Man, this is… This is not good." Still no answer.

Oliver let go of the bar and landed on the floor with a thud. "What does it say?" he asked this time.

"You mean you haven't read it?" Dig asked him back.

"Nope. Couldn't," Oliver replied. "I just assumed she decided to quit. Both."

Oliver may not be a genius like Felicity, but he was an intelligent man. He knew she had made her decision, but he didn't understand why and how she could decide so soon, and just when things were beginning to look up for them. Had he angered her so much because of the Harwood issue, because he went ahead and did what he thought was best for her? He thought hard and decided he didn't regret what he'd done; he didn't regret what he'd said to her last night and to Harwood earlier that day. It hurt that Felicity didn't seem to appreciate the fact that he'd do whatever it takes to protect her from any kind of harm or malice, whether or not she agreed with it. Whatever happened to their rules of engagement? The ring on her desk meant that she was no longer willing to give their marriage a second chance. The fact that she had left it on her desk at the lair meant that she was also walking away from her night job.

The letter that came with the ring made it even harder for Oliver. He gave Diggle permission to open the envelope and read it. Diggle refused, saying that the content of the letter was personal, and mildly berated Oliver for being a coward. When he gave Oliver a pat on the back and encouraged him to man up and face his fears, Oliver took the envelope from his friend and read it. The letter confirmed that Felicity had indeed decided that she was moving on with both her personal and professional lives without him in the picture, and that staying in the Team and seeing him night after night would only make it hard for her to follow through with her decision to pursue divorce.

Oliver's knees buckled. His legs gave way and he slumped down on the training mats. Tears streamed down his face as he closed the letter and put it back into the envelope with Felicity's ring. He cried quietly and solemnly, his face buried in the palms of his hands.

Diggle froze. Tears welled up in his eyes, too, but he stood his ground and let his dear friend grieve his losses. He felt like he had lost her as well.

Neither of them knew how long the silence and the weeping lasted. Neither of them cared.

When Diggle finally spoke, it was as if his words shattered glass. "What are you going to do, man?" he asked Oliver.

Oliver gasped for air in between sniffles, wiping the tears from his face with the back of his hands. Diggle threw him a towel, with which he dried his tear-stained face.

"I won't fight her on this, Dig. She's a big girl. She must know what she's doing, and I won't get in her way," Oliver answered.

Diggle was surprised. He was under the impression that ever since Oliver started on the dare diary, his friend had come a long way and gained a resolve never to give up on his marriage like he did with Lyla the first time. He didn't think Oliver would throw in the towel so easily. His friend was, after all, only halfway through the challenge.

"You're giving up just like that?" Diggle asked, concern written all over his face.

"I'm not giving up, Dig. I'm giving way. I've done all I could, said all I should. She made a choice. And even if it hurts like hell, I love her too much to get in the way of her happiness… even if she thinks she can find it without me," Oliver explained.

Oliver hadn't been crying in the past minutes just because he was grieving the loss of his wife and partner. He was crying also because he realized it was time to let her go. The entry in the journal that he had read earlier that day was prophetic: "Love lets the other win."

The Scripture quote had been a command to give preference to the interest of another before one's own, to put what's best for one's spouse first. The challenge was to demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse and telling them that you are putting their choice before your own. Oliver hadn't realized that the area of disagreement he would have to give in to later that day actually had to do with the future of his marriage and his team.

He had learned from the journal that giving way is not the same as giving up. Giving up meant agreeing to go your separate ways with no strings attached. Giving way meant letting the other person choose and then respecting that choice, no matter how painful and hard. He had learned that there is a right time to finally let go, that is, only after having exhausted every possible means to win back your spouse and still she decides to walk away. Letting go meant releasing Felicity to find herself and heal apart from him, yet keeping the door open for her to come back home.

That was why, sitting there in the sadness of loss, Oliver knew what he had to do. Nothing. This time, he was willing to let Felicity win.


	13. One More Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thoughts and feelings behind Felicity's decision are revealed. A common friend intervenes. Oliver receives bad news, and later rethinks his next move. Stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part of this chapter is in Felicity's point of view, and it gives us answers as to why she did what she did in the previous chapter where she broke Oliver's heart. The second half gets our plot moving, as we approach the major turning point in the story. 
> 
> Warning: this is long, longer than the previous chapter that I said was the longest one so far. But this is because I'm trying to make up for the long delay in updating this fic. I hope it does, and I hope you'll like this chapter.

"Oliver, we've been over this many times. You are not the boss of me. This is my life, my choice! And really, this thing with Harwood is none of your business. So stop being an over-zealous, over-jealous caveman and just let me handle it myself."

Felicity remembered saying those harsh words to him in sheer exasperation and indignation. Her lips quivered. She also remembered the words Oliver had said back with a paradoxical mixture of firmness and gentleness that she still could neither unravel nor get over.

"This is OUR life. I'm your husband, and you are still my wife. I have the right to be jealous – not because of some childish insecurity or fear of losing you, but because we made a promise to be partners for life, and I'm supposed to fight for you. And this thing with Harwood? It IS my business, because in this marriage, I am the man responsible to take care of you. I really don't need your permission to talk to Harwood, Felicity, but I respect you enough to let you know that that's what I intend to do…"

Those words had made her blood boil. She could have exploded with a chain of expletives right then and there, but they were in their favorite burger joint, and she was not about to humiliate herself and the mayor of their city in front of everyone there. She didn't want to make a public spectacle of their domestic disagreement, even if every fiber in her being cried out in protest that the man she loved couldn't get it into his thick skull that she was in control of her life. How hard was it for him to accept that she wanted to be the one to decide if and when she needed protection, including his?

During her cab ride from Big Belly to the loft, Felicity had protested, "This is the twenty-first century, for crying out loud! How can he act like such an old-fashioned, jealous jerk?!" She did think, for a while, that he had a point. He did have the right to be jealous for the right reasons. He wasn't just some overreacting suitor or boyfriend; he was her husband, and Harwood had crossed the ethical line. At that thought, she had entertained conceding because her logical mind had to admit that he was right. A small part of her heart was even impressed that her husband had been adorably stubborn to insist on being her knight in shining armor simply because he took his role as her protector quite seriously.

The other part of her heart snapped right back, however, and her initial reaction against his over-protectiveness took over once again. "Chauvinist! Who does he think he is?! I'm not some pathetic damsel in distress in a Gershwin musicale singing about desperately needing someone to watch over me," she griped during the entire elevator ride up to their floor. Felicity had felt insulted, especially when she rehearsed that part when he had said that he really didn't need her permission to talk to Harwood. Her nerves objected fiercely at the thought that someone else – her own husband in particular – seemed to keep her caged, bound, or straight-jacketed, denying her the freedom to make her own decisions. After all, she had mastered the art of solving her own problems for more than twenty years.

Felicity Smoak had always been in charge of her life. Her father had abandoned her and her mother when she was six. Since the day she finally accepted and realized that her father wasn't ever coming back, she had learned the tools and tricks of survival intentionally, and incidentally because her mother had hardly been there for her – not because her mother didn't care, but because she had been too busy working three jobs to keep a roof over their heads and food on their table. Throughout her childhood and teen years, Felicity resented her mother's absence, which had forced her to learn how to survive and thrive on her own. But when she survived the rigors of college life thousands of miles from her hometown and the heartbreak over her first love, Cooper Seldon, without a mother's shoulder to cry on, she had learned to respect Donna Smoak for her strength, resilience, and perseverance despite their differences in personality, intelligence, and perspectives.

The fall out with her first love and the subsequent heartaches she had suffered from his fake suicide and his criminal comeback had only temporarily derailed her from becoming the successful woman she had always aspired to be. It was the same when she had lost Oliver to Ra's al Ghul, not once but twice. She had picked up the pieces of her shattered heart and begun to move forward in the midst of her pain. Felicity had, time and again, risen up from the ruins and rebuilt herself into a better person. She had been used to running her life the way she thought best, with head held high. She had been used to doing things her way, confident that she had the IQ of a genius and the resolute determination of a survivor to help her make it through anything life threw her way. She had been used to fighting her battles despite some setbacks and still managing to come out on top every time.

How dare Oliver Queen take the wheel of her life from her, just because he was her husband! How dare he presume that he had to be the one who should protect her from guys like Harwood and even from herself! What Oliver had said counted for something – that although he didn't need her permission to go talk with Harwood, he respected her enough to let her know that it was something he planned to do. She did appreciate that. However, she expected more respect and understanding from him.

By the time Felicity had opened the door and walked into the loft the other night, it seemed like she had had a rude awakening. She was almost completely convinced that she had been getting it all wrong in the past few days. It had felt like she and Oliver were getting somewhere. She had forgiven him for the lies, and they seemed to be rekindling something worth saving. But no matter how wonderfully and blissfully sweet and sincere Oliver had been in the last few weeks, no matter how stubbornly and fervently she'd been drawn to him every time they were together, it would never work out for him and her. At least, she didn't think so anymore. Not for as long as her husband refuses to admit that she is his equal and to relinquish his control over her life. No man had ever been the boss of Felicity Smoak.

She had been hurt by the most significant men in her life – her father, her first love, and now the love of her life – and she was sick and tired of struggling to make things work. She rejected the nagging thought that the miseries in her life, which they had caused, were telltale signs that she was doomed to spend her life struggling to break free of their yoke and striving to find the freedom she had always been yearning for. She understood clearly that Oliver and her father were not the same; she wasn't that unreasonable. But the wounds that Noah Kuttler had inflicted upon her were too deep that often times, what she understood with her mind couldn't keep up fast enough with how her heart tended to respond to unpleasant encounters with Oliver, encounters that triggered past traumas of being an abandoned child, as well as the instinct to fight back and fend for herself. Without a doubt, Felicity was aware that she still loved Oliver with everything that's in her. But no, she wasn't willing to spend a lifetime with a man who viewed her as someone helpless and hopelessly dependent on him, a man who made it a habit to make decisions for her, for them.

Nevertheless, conflicting thoughts bothered her, confused her. Oliver had given quite an ardent, persuasive speech the other night, and in the middle of that speech he had solemnly reminded her that he did see her as an equal. Partners for life, he had told her. Our life. He had emphasized that as he looked straight into her eyes. The more she pondered on his words, the more she hurt. His double-edged declarations wounded her pride, which she gradually began to recognize yet still struggled to admit, especially after speaking with Walter Steele the following day.

As she sat alone on the couch in the living room with a glass of red wine in her hand, Felicity had pondered on Oliver's words further. She'd begun to realize that partnership implied that they shared control over their lives, lives that had been entwined by the vows they had sworn to live by until their dying breath. There had been two beautiful aspects of her relationship with Oliver that she had always considered precious: her being "his girl," and their being partners. The first one implied ownership. In every sense of his declaration that she will always be his girl, he had claimed her as his own, but she had never ever felt violated by the thought of being his before. In fact, every time that memory crossed her mind since the night she had taken a bullet for Sara Lance, she would tingle all over and bask in that overwhelming sense of an exclusive connection with the man of her dreams. Why in the world was the thought of belonging to him so repulsive to her now? Felicity had wondered.

The second aspect of partnership further complicated her initial appraisal of the current condition of her marriage. Long before they had exchanged wedding promises, Oliver had already established that he thought of her not as a subordinate but as an equal. In their vigilante business, most often than not, she was the brains and he was the muscle. In their friendship, they had provided mutual support and encouragement. As lovers they had given of themselves to each other wholly, despite the seemingly insurmountable challenges that sought to bar the way to each other. What on earth had possessed her to think that Oliver now stood in the way of her freedom of choice? How could she mistake his honest and earnest intention of protecting her as some aggressive form of male dominance? Had she misunderstood him? Oliver did say that as her husband, he was the man responsible to protect her and take care of her. He didn't see her as a subordinate; she was someone precious that he'd do anything, give anything to keep safe and secure. Felicity had realized that perhaps she would be wiser instead to appreciate the fact that she had a wonderful husband who'd stop at nothing to make sure she's unharmed and happy. She had realized that she did have an amazing partner who always had her back.

"I'm standing by my commitment to love you for the rest of my life," Oliver had said, "and that certainly includes protecting you from guys like him. It includes protecting you even from yourself… it's the right thing to do when an arrogant, malicious guy won't leave my wife alone…. You're the strongest, bravest woman I've ever known, but please… Honey, let me take care of you. Please don't take that away from me."

For a moment, a warm smile pushed the corners of her lips upwards. Felicity's cold heart warmed up as she mulled over her husband's words and her realizations.

But soon the warmth was again overcome by the menacing chill of doubt and fear. Would she be willing to risk getting hurt again? She could take the risk, but would she live through one more devastating blow? She was well aware of how easy it had always been to lose herself in this wonderful and beautiful man. Her mother used to say that she always lit up like Christmas at the mere mention of Oliver's name, at his mere presence in the same room with her. She remembered sharing that with her mother when the Team had tried to rescue Ray Palmer from Damien Darkh. Donna had advised her not to doubt Oliver and the love they shared. Donna had been the one who made her realize that love had a peculiar way of making two people rise above their differences and find their way back to each other after every fight. Her mother had assured her that she was lucky to have someone like Oliver in her life, someone who wouldn't lie to her like her father had lied to her mother time and time again. Donna had been frequently right in the past, but that one time, Felicity was convinced that her mother was dead wrong.

After the lies, and now that he'd angered her again for wanting to intervene on her behalf in the issue with the divorce lawyer, she'd become wary about the undeniable effect that he had on her. A month ago, she had already been sure about filing for divorce, but the recent changes she had observed in her husband had made her reconsider. Taking a sip of her wine, Felicity thought that reconsidering and giving their relationship a chance had been a mistake. This time, she wasn't going to let him charm his way back to her gullible, fragile heart. Not anymore. She had made that mistake too many times before.

Nonetheless, Felicity remembered something else that happened that night after her talk with her mother. She and Oliver had cleared the air, kissed and made up. She had been the one who told him that they'd be okay, because they had found themselves in each other. As she lay down on her bed, Felicity was hardly able to push back the memory of the intimate evening that ensued after that special kiss they shared, unable to numb herself from the spark that raced throughout her body as one passionate memory of intimacy after another began to resurface in her mind. Reminiscing those moments with the love of her life brought tears to her eyes, rivulets of anguish that flowed from her eyes down to her cheeks and onto her pillow. She wrapped her arms around her upper body, imagining how it used to feel when Oliver's robust yet gentle arms were the ones that held her close to his chest. Those were the nights she felt the safest, in his embrace, when she felt his every heartbeat reverberating against her bare back.

Was she making the biggest mistake if she turned her back on everything they had? Ending their marriage would hurt like hell, but she's convinced she'll live through it. Like she had lived through every single tragedy in her past. At this point, she'd decided that the pain of losing Oliver would not hurt as much as the pain of losing herself. Tomorrow she would take that necessary step. She might live to regret it, but at least she'll live.

Felicity curled up on her side, pulled the duvet up to her chest, and cried herself to sleep.

Day 22

Felicity called Walter Steele as soon as she arrived at her office the day after she left the letter and the ring at the lair. She wanted to ask her very good friend for a reference. She had already asked Quentin for help about a month ago, but since Harwood had turned out to be nothing but a big-shot creep, she needed a new divorce lawyer. When she tried to recall who else among her close friends had gone through divorce, she had only thought of two – John Diggle and Walter Steele. John was out of the question, since she knew he'd been rooting for Oliver all the way. The only other alternative was asking Palmer Tech's legal department for a reference, but she didn't want her personal life entangled in a web of controversy with her professional life, and she definitely did not want to be the subject of more office gossip. So, it had to be Walter Steele. She thought that he would most certainly understand.

Walter was nice and accommodating. He had given her the name and contact details of the lawyer that had processed his divorce with Moira years back, but not without asking that she hear him out. She did. Walter asked her to reconsider her decision, vouching for Oliver's sincerity in mending their marriage. He confessed that he and Oliver had also had a lengthy discussion about his marital issues some weeks back. That important piece of information tempted Felicity to feel betrayed that Oliver had discussed their problems with a third party, but just the same, it had confirmed how serious her husband had been all this time to win her back. Walter told her that even though he was risking his friendship with her for offering unsolicited advice, he counted it worth the risk to encourage her to pursue reconciliation and give their marriage a chance. For the sake of friendship, and because Walter had seemed genuinely concerned, Felicity had acquiesced to put off calling the new lawyer in favor of thinking through her decision one last time for a couple of weeks.

Great. The thought that another member of the male species had once again managed to overrule her decision crossed Felicity's rambling mind. What was it with her and the significant men in her life? What power had they over her that they could get her to change her mind? In her college days Cooper had convinced her to become a cyber-activist and to hack federal sites illegally in the name of what he'd brainwashed her to be the truly American dream. When her father mysteriously reappeared just before they had taken down Damien Darkh, he had almost convinced her that he had nothing but the best intentions for leaving her and her mother to protect them, and that he earnestly wanted to revive a relationship with his only child.

Since the day he walked into her IT office with a bullet-riddled laptop, Oliver Queen had managed to light up her life even during the darkest times. Even as she wallowed in jealousy, watching him get together with flings like Helena and McKenna, a one-night-stander like Isabel Rochev, and with the women in his life that he had serious relationships with, like the Lance sisters. Each time, she had chosen to stay, in spite of how complicated their relationship had been. In spite of the times when her hopes of a future with him had been dashed – like when he had told her that he loved her only to fool Slade, and when he had asked her out on a date only to break it off with her before a legitimate relationship had even begun.

Felicity sighed, second-guessing herself. She almost picked up her phone to contact the new lawyer's firm, but she relented. She promised Walter to give it two weeks. It wouldn't kill her to wait, for she thought that nothing would change anyway.

While Oliver did say that he was still committed to love her for the rest of her life (and she believed him), and Felicity was sure that she still loved him very much, she thought it was foolish for them to try again. One, she didn't want to risk getting hurt again. No, not by him. Another wound inflicted on her scarred heart would most certainly be the death of her. Two, while many things about him had evidently changed, she didn't think that he was capable of change in those aspects of their relationship that mattered to her. His words of affirmation and his deeds of affection in the past few weeks could never guarantee that he would never lie to her again and that he was a truly changed man. And three, she didn't think that either of them could recover from such a low blow as her having returned his ring of promise, especially not with the impersonal manner she had given it back.

Felicity had thought that ending her marriage face to face would have been a trap she couldn't escape. She would not be able to stand her ground if she would do it with his captivating eyes burning her skin with ardent fire. She wouldn't be able to follow through with the tender touch of his hand on her shoulder, begging her to stay. So she had avoided the snare and had opted to leave a letter with the ring. Never mind if he thought her to be a coward. She just couldn't bear to see him again without the fear of being swayed.

Why was she afraid of being swayed if she was sure that she was doing the right thing? That thought distracted her from work all morning. Oliver's words also echoed in the canyons of her mind. "Partners for life… Our life… I'm standing by my commitment to love you for the rest of my life…" What kept her from saying those words back to her husband even if she loved him, heart and soul? She must really be a coward, she thought. A proud one at that.

Walter's words also reinforced the conflicting thoughts that fought hard to be given another chance at re-evaluation: Oliver's sincerity, a marriage worth fighting for, reconciliation. Even her mother's bits and pieces of advice disturbed her all day. Some of the realizations she had reflected upon last night came rushing back. Had she made an irrevocable mistake – the rash decision of giving back her ring and giving up on their marriage? Was it too late to reconsider? And because Felicity was an expert at multi-tasking, she was able to process those thoughts alongside CEO tasks for the day. But the more she processed, guilt began to creep in. Had she been too harsh on him? Had she really been too proud to give a repentant husband a fair chance in the name of self-preservation? Since when had their love for each other not been enough?

Oliver did say that pursuing the divorce was her choice, and that he won't get in her way if she were dead set on pursuing it. The letter and the ring had conveyed that message to him in no uncertain terms. Sure, Oliver loved her with his life, but he might never be able to forgive her for giving up on them that easily. He might never recover. He'd never take her back, not after she had spurned his love with such finality, she thought. At this point, even if she was beginning to realize certain things, she believed it was too late to turn back.

For Felicity, even if conflicting thoughts and feelings made a tangled mess in her mind and heart, and even if she had promised Walter to wait, the next two weeks was just a delay of the inevitable.

For Oliver, though, it was a different story.

The night before, he had decided that he was finally letting Felicity have her way instead of fighting her about her choice to end things between them. He had told Dig that he wasn't giving up on their marriage, but that he was giving in to what his wife wanted because he had already done everything he could to win her back.

But when he arrived at City Hall that Tuesday morning, he read from the journal that true love never fails and that it always hopes. He had further read that love is never defeated, that while it sometimes suffers even the most severe setbacks, it always finds a way. "Love endures," he'd learned, and it inspired hope in him to keep his door open for Felicity to come back to him.

The dare for the day had him write a letter of commitment to his spouse, stating why he is committing to the marriage until death and declaring that he has purposed to love her no matter what. He was supposed to leave the letter in a place where she will find it. This had made Oliver rethink his next move. Giving in did not necessarily mean that he couldn't express his undying love for his wife one more time. One more dare won't hurt, he figured. So, he picked up a pen and wrote his wife a simply-worded yet heartfelt love letter on the mayor's stationery, placed it in a sealed envelope, and wrote Felicity's name on it. He planned to bring it to her office at Palmer Tech during lunch hour or bring it home and leave it on her bed tonight before he left for the bunker.

Love endures. Oliver needed that. And it was a good thing he did, before the call from Dr. Henderson came in; otherwise, he would have spiraled down straight to depression.

He was about to leave the office to deliver the letter to Felicity's office personally when his phone rang. He hung up after five minutes, even more downcast and discouraged than before. Henderson explained in technical terms that he tested positive for both oligospermia and asthenospermia. One test confirmed that his sperm count was dangerously low, and another test verified poor sperm motility, which made it difficult for any of his sperm cells to fertilize an egg cell. That explained why they couldn't get pregnant even if Felicity was regularly ovulating.

Oliver didn't pretend that he understood all of the medical jargon, but he was smart enough to know one thing: that he was the one with the fertility problem. He was the reason why his wife's desire to mother his son or daughter would never become a reality. He couldn't understand how in the world he had impregnated Samantha Clayton pre-island if this was the case. Something terribly wrong must have happened that led to this. His impotence. And it crushed him. Like nothing else in his past ever had. It hurt more than any physical torture he had previously endured. For the first time in his life, he suddenly felt powerless, useless.

Henderson picked up on Oliver's despair, as he was quiet all throughout the doctor's very detailed report and explanation. The good doctor was quick to encourage Oliver that sperm count does vary over time and that temporary low counts are common. A single test that confirms a low count may not be a representative result, so if Oliver really intended to pursue treatment, the doctor would be running the same tests repeatedly over a period of time. Fortunately, his other tests showed no anatomical obstructions in the reproductive tract, so surgery was not necessary. However, Henderson said that he wanted to prescribe medications and suggested that Oliver and Felicity consider intracytoplasmic sperm injection and in vitro fertilization or IVF as soon as his sperm count and sperm motility improve. Once again, the doctor reiterated how important it was for Oliver to adjust his lifestyle – meaning, he stays fit, avoids becoming overweight, gets adequate rest, exercises only moderately, and avoids any form of stress that would reduce sexual function and impair fertility. Oliver thanked the doctor despite the news and told him that he would call back once he has thought through his options carefully.

There was a time when Oliver could confide in his best friend whenever he was down and discouraged. His wife had always been there for him. She'd be his shock absorber at the end of a stressful day at City Hall or after a failed mission as Star City's masked protector. She grieved with him each time he'd lost someone or something important. He loved being enveloped in her arms anytime he was having a bad day. When the news from Dr. Henderson began to really sink in, Oliver yearned for Felicity, the one person whom he wanted so much to be his confidant. But it felt like he was groping in the dark to no avail, since he had already lost his best friend. There was no point in opening up to her about the sad news now. He knows both their dreams may never come true.

The delivery to Palmer Tech was foregone. Oliver asked Diggle to bring him to the bunker, where he poured out his dismay to his friend. Dig helped him think through his options, but there was no use. Oliver didn't think that any of the suggestions of Dr. Henderson mattered anymore, because Felicity had ended their marriage. And though Dig reasoned that "it ain't over until the fat lady sings," Oliver was persuaded that it was just a matter of time before the divorce papers arrive for his signature.

"What did the journal teach you today, man?" Diggle asked him.

"Love endures. It always finds a way," he murmured.

"Then find a way," Diggle challenged him. "Don't tell me you're just going to sign the papers when they come. You can't lose hope, Oliver. Just like you can't lose hope that you can be a father again someday."

"I wish," Oliver responded. The gloom was unmistakably evident in his voice.

Diggle frowned. He thought it was ironic that of all the times Oliver would run out of tears to cry, it was when he had finally hit rock bottom. His friend had not shed a tear since they arrived at the bunker, but his sullen expression and his sagging shoulders betrayed how dejected and demoralized Oliver was. They hadn't realized they had been talking – and refraining from talking – for hours, until Thea and Laurel arrived.

The two men acted like everything was fine and carried on with their vigilante duties, not letting their two female teammates in on their secrets. But Thea and Laurel were smarter than that. Felicity did not show up at the bunker for two consecutive nights now. It didn't take a genius like her to put two and two together. They, however, had no inkling about the infertility issue, so they were not as anxious as Diggle was when police commissioner Lance called that the SCPD received an anonymous tip and needed back-up for a raid on a Vertigo laboratory in one of the more isolated fringes on the eastern side of the Glades. The four of them suited up, but Diggle's focus was divided between the mission and keeping an eye on his troubled friend. Thankfully, the tip was a false alarm, and the raid did not go down as planned. They went their separate ways just before midnight, with Diggle insisting that he drive Oliver home.

Day 23

The following day turned out to be very different though.

First, Oliver decided that he wasn't going to keep secrets from Felicity anymore. He was going to call her and ask for a chance for them to talk in person and bring closure, if that's what she really wanted. He wanted to hear her side and get some answers to his questions before he finally releases her. He no longer felt that a good talk was useless, because he had read something new from the journal that morning. "Love stands on the truth."

Oliver learned that a strong marriage was anchored on truth and not on deceit, pretense, secrets, and schemes. Love rejoices in honesty, integrity, and veracity. Sure, he had already confessed his lies and asked for his wife's forgiveness, and she had forgiven him. And even if she had already decided to end their marriage, he figured that he had nothing to lose if he opened up about some things that he'd still been keeping from her. She had already taken that fateful step after all, and he didn't think she was going to look back. But he wasn't about to let her go without telling her the whole truth about his noble and sincere attempts to win her back. He didn't really think that it would make Felicity change her mind, but if the truth could still save his marriage, it was worth a try. If not, at least it would set him free from the burdens of secrecy he'd been carrying.

The dare for the day challenged him to be honest with his spouse about an issue or aspect of their relationship that he has not really been transparent to her about. He was supposed to confess any form of dishonesty or pretense, and then promise to be truthful from then on. That's when he decided that it was about time to tell her that he had gone in for fertility testing and about how his life had been transformed by the lessons from the love dares. Oliver also thought it was a good idea to offer her the dare diary – to pass on to her the valuable lessons and insights he'd learned – for when she eventually meets the right person and decides to remarry. Deep down inside, he hoped she wouldn't, because he was sure he wouldn't. As far as he was concerned, Felicity was endgame.

So he called Felicity a couple of times, but she didn't pick up. He texted her, asking if they could talk, but she didn't text back. It was going to be harder than he thought.

Second, Diggle didn't report for both his day and night jobs. He called in sick, having eaten some leftovers that strangely weren't tolerated well by his very tolerant stomach. He told Oliver that he would most probably feel better by the afternoon, but Oliver insisted that he stay home and rest. Oliver assured him that they could handle the patrols that night.

Third, the SCPD received another anonymous tip about the location of a Vertigo laboratory three blocks away from the address that they raided the previous night. Commissioner Lance once again asked for the assistance of the Green Arrow and his team, and this time, they validated the intel using Felicity's search programs. Despite his doubts about whether or not his head was really in the game, Oliver suited up with Laurel and Thea and headed for the location ahead of the dispatched police squad. Without another teammate manning comms and camera feeds. Oliver, Thea, and Laurel had gone in blind.

The three of them decided to separate after accomplishing a security breach since they weren't exactly sure where the main lab was located in the run-down two-storey building. Oliver easily subdued the guards from the southern perimeter and made his way inside through the rear entrance. Laurel and Thea made their way to the eastern perimeter, which was unguarded when they arrived, but as soon as they entered the first floor through an open window, they went their separate ways, searching for the lab and putting down and securing everyone who stood in their way. As Thea and Laurel made their way separately to the second floor on the stairwells at the eastern and western ends of the building, they could hear the faint sound of police sirens from far away. They knew help was on the way. But by the time they reached the lab on the second floor, they were too late. Oliver's limp, unconscious body lay on the cold, tiled floor with a syringe sticking out of his neck.

As Thea checked for her brother's pulse and breathing, Laurel carefully pulled out and examined the syringe with a few milliliters of blue liquid left in it. When Laurel looked up, she saw several vials filled with blue liquid labeled Vertigo on the table. She picked up a vial and reached for one of the aerosol spray cans on the overhead shelf that were also labeled Vertigo. It didn't take her long to deduce that Oliver had been stabbed in the neck with a concentrated dose of the reformulated Vertigo, and her heart was suddenly gripped with fear.

"Thea, call John and tell him to meet us at the bunker right now. Oliver needs medical attention. Stat!" Laurel prompted Thea, panic evident in her voice. Thea understood instantly what Laurel meant.

As soon as she had spoken to Diggle, she and Laurel prepared to move Oliver and carry him to the van together. They could hardly lift him, especially since he was dead weight. They did manage to get him to the van, half dragging him into the vehicle, by the time police officers arrived at the scene and scoured the building behind them to apprehend the suspects. Laurel thought she'd have to put off speaking with her father about what went down. They had to bring Oliver back to the bunker and give him medical attention ASAP. She had also taken a couple of vials and a spray can for analysis, so that they could find out more about what they were up against; it could also help save Oliver's life. So she drove off, practically breaking all known traffic rules just to get him to safety.

They were about ten blocks away from the bunker when Thea noticed Oliver's unconscious and previously limp body begin to stiffen. Within seconds, his body began to quake. "Laurel!" Thea screamed, causing her friend to look back. Laurel saw Oliver thrashing violently, his mouth foaming white. Laurel responded frantically, "He's having a seizure!"

Thea's hand instinctively came up to cover her mouth as her other hand reached for her brother's wrist. She tried to hold him down as best she could. "No. No, no, no!" she cried. "Please, Laurel, hurry! He needs help! Right now!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might have noticed that the first part was quite lengthy - the part where we get inside Felicity's head - and also quite confusing. That was intentional. I wanted readers to somehow experience her inner turmoil as she vacillated between pushing through with her decision to end the marriage and relenting from it. Is she changing her mind, or not? I hope I was able to achieve that goal.
> 
> (Spoiler Alert) One very insightful reader has said to me that she hopes Felicity and Oliver don't get back together just because someone in the story dies, because that's just cliche. Yes it is. But the fact that Oliver is now in danger does not mean that he's going to die. And while his serious condition will be a factor in how things between them play out, it will not be the main cause of the HEA that I promised in this fic.
> 
> So I hope that you, dear readers, will stick with this story. 23 dares down, 17 to go. The question is, how will the last 17 dares go down?
> 
> I am truly SORRY for taking so long to update. But life has been difficult for me at work and at the home front. Someone resigned from work and his responsibilities fell on my shoulders, which means more work, less time to write. My son has fallen ill twice in the past few weeks, and I've been nursing a knee injury, and now my husband is also ill. Please accept my peace offering.
> 
> Also, even though I've already mapped out the story until its ending, I've tried my best to incorporate some of the ideas and suggestions of readers and reviewers here and in another site where this fic is posted. It's a 'thank you' to those of you who take the time to leave encouraging and constructive comments. Please know that I read every single one of them, and I appreciate you dropping a line or two. Thank you all, including guests whom I can't reply to. Many thanks!


	14. Taking Up the Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get answers - bad ones and good ones. The developments lead Felicity to make a choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, our characters get answers and secrets are revealed. I hope you like this one, as it is the longest chapter in this story so far. It's not just a way of making up for the delay in updating the story; it's absolutely necessary for the threshing out of several reveals. This is where the tables are turned and we head on towards the denouement. Let me know if you enjoy it!

Day 24

It was 4:00 in the early morning of the twenty-fourth day of the challenge that Oliver had taken on.

Felicity woke up to the ringing of her phone. When she saw John Diggle's number and image on the screen, she took the call even if she really had only gotten less than an hour's sleep. She'd been mulling over Oliver and their marriage, and it had once again kept her up until the wee hours of the morning.

She picked up and said, "Dig, what's up? It's only four-"

"It's Oliver. He's hurt, Felicity," Diggle told her.

Felicity was quiet for a beat. She thought through the tiny bit of information that she'd just been told. John sounded calm but very concerned, she thought. Was he just letting her know about Oliver's condition like it was some sort of FYI, or was his injury serious enough that John was implying an imperative that she had to come down to the bunker to see him? She had just told herself before she finally fell asleep that she was going to avoid any contact with Oliver over the next two weeks so that she could reconsider her options with better objectivity, and now this. She told herself to stay cool and not to overreact.

"O-kay," she said with a slightly upward inflection that tapered at the end of the last syllable. "John, I'm sure it's nothing you guys can't take care of." Her voice was tentative. She had given a supposedly confident statement, but it sounded more like an implied question from a curious inquirer. She tried to mask her growing concern; she wanted to establish the gravity of the situation before she would decide on whether or not her presence in the bunker for the apparent emergency was absolutely necessary.

"He's not wounded, if that's what you're worried about," Diggle clarified. He didn't want her to worry too much over the phone, and it wouldn't be a good idea for her to be driving to the bunker alone without a clear head. But he aimed to persuade her to come, and he wasn't going to take no for an answer, so he pushed on. "His vitals are now stable, but he hasn't regained consciousness yet. It's been six hours, Felicity, and he's had three episodes of seizures since Laurel and Thea brought him back. This isn't like the ones before."

"What do you mean?" Felicity asked. Her heart rate spiked the second she heard him say the word seizures. And when Diggle said that this wasn't like the ones before, Felicity immediately progressed from concern to worry. What did he mean by 'it's not like the ones before'? "What happened, John? What are you trying to tell me?" she asked more firmly.

"I wasn't there, Felicity. SCPD needed help with a raid on a Vertigo lab last night at the Glades. He and Laurel and Thea responded to Lance's call and went to the location as the advanced party. The three of them separated to cover more ground more quickly since…" Diggle paused in hesitation. "…since no one was running surveillance and feeding them intel through the comms." Felicity gasped when she realized that the team had gone in blind. "Thea said that they found him on the floor of the main lab already unconscious. It looked like someone had caught him by surprise and somehow injected him with a concentrated dose of the reformulated Vertigo."

No. Not Vertigo. Not again.

Felicity shuddered at the memory of the first time he had been stabbed with Vertigo in the leg. Oliver had been thrashing severely that time; she and Diggle had been able to stabilize him despite their meager medical resources in the foundry. The next time it happened when another power-hungry villain started marketing the illegal drug again, the med bay at their renovated facility was better equipped for the emergency. Both times, Oliver had regained consciousness after a few hours. Why hadn't he woken up yet this time? How much longer can his body take this beating? How would the seizures affect him? His brain?

"I'm coming. See you in a while, John." With that, Felicity hung up.

She was quiet for a while, not because she was struggling with whether or not she should go, but because she needed time to compose herself. If she was going to be any help in the bunker, she needed to have a clear mind and a steadfast heart. Because she was going all right. To him. There was no choice to make.

The drive to the bunker was when she began to think twice. John did say that Oliver was stable. He was just unconscious. Maybe his body simply needed time to recover. Maybe he'd wake up sooner than later. Did she really have to be there? She could just ask them to update her regarding his status. If this was really a life-and-death situation, John would have told her so. Those were her thoughts, the conscious ones in particular. Yet her subconscious mind seemed to be in charge at the moment, directing her body to keep driving towards him instead of turning back.

The moment Felicity stepped out of the elevator and saw Oliver lying on the metal table at the med bay of the bunker's lower level, she could sense the anxiety and tension in the cold, sanitized room. Thea was the first one who greeted her, thanking her for coming and keeping her up to speed regarding Oliver's condition. Laurel simply nodded and smiled to acknowledge her presence.

Felicity approached the med table cautiously and stood beside Oliver, seeing he was hooked up to the monitors and an IV drip. She held his hand and squeezed tight. His hand was icy cold. He didn't squeeze back. He always did. But he was sleeping so deeply. It seemed like there was nothing wrong with him, but his lips were pale, and his face had an eerie, ghostlike expression. He lay motionless, and he was breathing, but his body looked as if life had literally been sucked out of him. Felicity's chest tightened. It hurt too much to see him like this.

"Thank you… for bringing him back," Felicity said to Laurel and Thea who were standing across her on the other side of the metal table. Her friend and sister-in-law nodded to accept her expression of gratitude. The faint smile soon faded from her lips. Turning to Diggle, who had just stepped forward and stood beside her, she said, "And thank you, John, for doing everything you could."

For a while, they all just looked down at Oliver who lay perfectly still before them. The silence was deafening. None of them really knew what to say. Or do.

When the silence had settled, Diggle put his arm around Felicity's shoulders to comfort her and calmly said to her, "I have done everything I could. I wish I could do more. My medical training is extensive, but I'm not exactly competent enough to deal with something like this." He sighed before he carried on, carefully considering how he should say what he wanted to tell her next. "I didn't ask you to come just to see him, Felicity. Actually, I wanted you to come to ask for your permission."

Felicity's forehead creased as she turned to Diggle in confusion. "My permission?"

"Yes," Diggle replied, the arm he had on Felicity's shoulders falling to his side. "I think you'll agree with me that even if this is no longer a life-and-death situation, things don't look good for Oliver. You and I have seen how he had bounced back from Vertigo in the past. Both times. This time, it looks different. One moment he's perfectly still, sleeping like a log, and then he suddenly thrashes like he's being tortured or something. The intervals between the seizures don't seem to have a pattern, but the intensity is increasing instead of tapering off. He's been sleeping for more than six hours, Felicity. I think his condition is more serious than it looks. Oliver wasn't merely exposed to the aerosol form of Vertigo like those who usually take the drug by choice; he was injected in the neck with a concentrated dose."

"John, whatever it is you have to say, just say it." Felicity wasn't being rude, just straightforward. Laurel and Thea dared not interrupt the exchange between the two original team arrow members.

Diggle picked up from where he had left off. "I'm just saying that perhaps there's something more that can be done for him, Felicity… before the adverse effects of the drug in his system can do any permanent damage. I know that taking him to a hospital is out of the question. But would you consider bringing in a doctor to take a look at him?"

Felicity frowned. She wanted to say, "And you asked me to come just to ask me that?" But she held back, not wanting for her friend to misinterpret her honest question as a sign of indifference or antagonism. But Diggle was quick to read her thoughts. He knew his friend would hesitate to make a decision in behalf of Oliver because of the status of their relationship.

"Yes, of course," Diggle answered. "You are, after all, still his wife. It's not my decision to make. Bringing in an outsider means another person discovers Oliver's secret identity. I know that that is his secret to tell, but right now, he is not capable of making that choice, and you are the next person who has that right," Diggle replied, his voice slightly louder and firmer than before. He wasn't being impatient, just straightforward. Still, Laurel and Thea didn't dare get in their way.

"John…" Felicity spoke, almost a whisper. She thought she knew what it was that she wanted to say, but the words escaped her. She knew Diggle was right. She just wasn't ready for this. She had told herself in the car ride over that she was going to see Oliver, but she wouldn't let herself get sucked back into his world just because he had been in danger. She cautioned herself not to get involved. She assured herself that it was perfectly fine to show him that she still cared; it didn't mean she was going to get back together with him just because his life was on the line again. She told herself that, as soon as she was sure he's really stable, she was going to go on her way. Having to make this kind of decision and being reminded that she was still his wife wasn't part of the deal.

"Felicity, YOU have to decide what's best for Oliver. It's YOUR right, YOUR responsibility. But please remember, we are running out of time," Diggle told her.

"I don't know, John. How can we know that the secret identity of the mayor of this city is going to be safe? Who do we ask for help that's trustworthy enough to keep it confidential? How can we be sure that the location of the Green Arrow's top secret base will remain as that – a secret?" she asked with uncertainty.

Diggle leaned forward, placing both hands on the metal table. He looked at his dear friend and brother-at-arms with resolute eyes, silently reassuring Oliver that he was making an absolutely necessary call under the circumstances. "There is someone we could call. He's not exactly an expert on drug abuse cases, but he is a medical doctor with more extensive experience in various fields of specialization than me. I think he can help. And Oliver trusts him already."

The eyes of all three women were on Diggle instantly.

"And which doctor is this?" It was Thea who asked, as if by instinct and curiosity. She couldn't stay silent any more.

"Henderson," Diggle answered, turning back to Felicity to gauge her reaction.

"Henderson?!" Felicity asked, not out of ignorance but out of shock that Diggle had just dropped the name of her fertility doctor. The wheels of her mind were turning at a hundred miles per hour. How? When? Why did her husband not tell her that he'd been seeing the fertility specialist? Felicity didn't know what to think. She had more questions now, but the only person who could answer them was in a coma.

"Yes. The doctor at the fertility clinic. Your doctor… and his," Diggle confirmed, pointing his chin towards Oliver.

Seeing Felicity's stunned response – not to mention Laurel's and Thea's – Diggle knew that he owed her an explanation, and explain he did. Laurel and Thea were sensitive enough to read between the silent lines and excused themselves, giving the two friends the privacy they needed.

Diggle told Felicity everything he knew about Oliver's consultations with Dr. Henderson and about the procedures he had gone through recently, including the results of the most recent tests that confirmed his low sperm count and poor sperm motility. Diggle also told her that Oliver was going to tell her about all the fertility stuff yesterday but couldn't bring himself to do it as planned when the sad news from the doctor came in, followed by the raid on the Vertigo lab.

The revelation nearly drove Felicity over the edge. Before it, she only struggled with worry over Oliver's present condition. Now that she knew about her husband's other condition, she was devastated. Worry and devastation were soon accompanied by guilt and regret over giving up on their marriage when Oliver has obviously been busy trying so hard to save it by doing something she never thought he'd be able to bring himself to do. A complicated mixture of very intense emotions coagulated and coursed agonizingly through her veins and into her heart, which was just about ready to explode. She couldn't breathe. She told John that she needed some air, and then she left the med bay, practically scurrying to the upper level where her work station was. Or used to be, because she had quit the team.

Thirty minutes later, Thea finds Felicity practically swimming in tears, her head resting on her arms on her desk in front of the computer monitors. Diggle asked Thea to go get her because Oliver was having a seizure again. They rush down to the med bay, and Felicity's heart broke when she saw his body quaking in the most frightening way. It took all three women to hold him down as Diggle kept his eyes on the monitor to check his vitals. When his blood pressure shot up to dangerous levels, Diggle gave him a sedative to calm him down.

As soon as Oliver's limp body lay still again, Diggle began to speak. "Felicity, I can't keep doing this. He'll live, but I don't think his body can stand any more of this-"

"Get Henderson," Felicity said suddenly and sternly, her eyes never leaving Oliver's face as she caressed his stubble. Diggle didn't need to say more. She interrupted him and gave an unmistakably clear command, signaling him that she had made her choice.

Laurel put her hand on Diggle's arm and offered for her and Thea to go and fetch the doctor. He gave her the doctor's contact number. Laurel made the call as she and Thea made their way into the elevator.

"Thank you, John, for everything," Felicity said softly. "And I mean… everything. You've always been there for us… for him," she continues, still looking intently at Oliver's face.

"Hey, you don't have to thank me. We look out for each other. We are a team, remember?"

"WERE a team, actually," she pointed out. She felt the pangs of guilt and loss gnawing at her heart.

"You'll always be part of the team, Felicity. Whatever you decided, you'll always be one of us. I've told you before, you're irreplaceable. Plus, the bunker is always open. You can come back anytime you want to…if you change your mind, that is."

"John…"

Diggle raised both his arms, letting her know he wasn't going to push further. He had always been a gentleman, and Felicity appreciated that a lot about him. He made his way to the elevator and told her he'd come back when Dr. Henderson arrives.

Silence filled the med bay as soon as Diggle left Felicity alone with an unconscious Oliver. She placed her trembling hands on his chest. He felt so cold, so distant. As she traced his scars on his chest, his abdomen, his arms, the stories he had told her about the island, about Hong Kong, and a little about his time in Russia, and the memories of close encounters with danger and death here in Star City – those played on a loop in her mind like a video montage. His battle scars were precious to her. For her, they were proof of his heroism and his many sacrifices for the good of others, including her. She recalled the many times she nearly lost him, as her fingers slid up and down his chest, his skin now damp with her tears. Her tears, too were precious. They were proof of her ability to outlive the mishaps in her life thus far. Their trials and tribulations had been different in nature, but Felicity realized at that moment that in essence, she and Oliver really were so much alike. They were both survivors. They had fought their battles and emerged victorious each time.

It suddenly dawned on her that while she and Oliver had fought those battles successfully, they both had fought them separately on many occasions. She figured that perhaps this was the reason they had always had trouble working through their issues as married adults. They had gotten so used to fighting their battles on their own, and when they finally became husband and wife after just over a year of being together, they brought into their marriage the tried-and-tested strategies of survival that they each had learned as single persons during the most crucial times in their lives. They had relied on weapons of warfare that were forged in the flames of pain and misery that they had endured as separate individuals. No wonder it had been turbulent each time they had tried to settle their conflicts! He'd assert that he was right. She'd insist that her way was the best. As she thought through some of the major conflicts they'd had since they became a couple, she realized that the toughest ones they'd had to face were the ones in which they had both been right; it was just that neither of them were willing to be selfless enough to give way and humble enough to let the other win an argument.

She pondered further about what she had done recently – giving back her wedding ring and quitting the team. It had definitely been about her taking back control over her life. She no longer wanted to be a victim of lies and broken promises of happily ever-afters made by the significant men in her life, past and present. She had wanted to break free of what she deemed to be holding her back. But as she reflected on what has just transpired in the past several hours, the past few days, and the past few weeks, Felicity slowly began to see light at the end of the tunnel. She began to consider: What if true freedom is found in letting go of her idol of control and trusting the power of love once again? What if yielding to the loving leadership of her husband and sharing the responsibility of making their marriage work, instead of resisting and struggling to break free, was the answer to her anger and her pain? What if love really is enough?

"Love is unconditional." That was the entry in the journal that day. The devotional portion explained that genuine love acts and doesn't hold back, despite the failures and flaws of the other. This is love IN SPITE OF, loving without looking to receive anything back, and loving without conditions. The example given in the Scripture text was the sacrificial death of Christ to save sinners who didn't even want to be saved in the first place and rejected such an offer of grace. Love desires what is best for the other person even if that person doesn't realize that he or she needs it. Love is willing to make sacrifices in behalf of those who didn't deserve them. The dare that was supposed to be carried out for the day was to purpose in one's heart to choose to love one's spouse even if they don't deserve it, and to choose to give one's heart – all of it – for the good of one's partner.

Too bad Oliver didn't get to meditate on that precious principle that early morning. He would have done the dare well. Nevertheless, it seemed like Felicity needed it more, because at the end of all her musings and realizations, she decided that she wasn't really ready to bear the weight of what letting go implied. She wasn't ready to love unconditionally. She wasn't ready to keep on loving without risking getting hurt. She wasn't willing to give of all of her heart again, not to a man who didn't really deserve it because he was the one who broke it in the first place. Oliver getting hurt didn't mean she had to take him back just like that, right? She wasn't ready, and she wasn't willing. Not just yet. It would have to take more to convince her to love without conditions. She had to protect herself.

Felicity dried the tears on her cheeks with the back of her hand and went to retrieve a clean towel in one of the drawers nearby. She wiped Oliver's chest clean and dried her hands. As soon as she was done, the elevator doors opened.

***************************

Day 25

Outside, the early morning light of sunrise had already broken through the remaining darkness of dawn when Dr. Henderson arrived at the bunker. Laurel and Thea had already filled him in with what had happened in the raid, which was why he arrived in his car only with Thea. Laurel had taken a side trip to the pharmacy to pick up the prescription for a drug that the doctor had already called in for a patient with a name other than Oliver Queen's.

Henderson greeted Felicity and gave her a hug, telling her how sorry he was for what had happened to Oliver. He smiled and promised her that he would do everything he can to help her husband. Felicity winced a little bit when the doctor mentioned Oliver being her husband. It wasn't only a reminder of her reflections just moments before they arrived. It also made her think that although Henderson may already know some of Oliver's secrets as Diggle divulged previously, the doctor seemed to have no inkling whatsoever about the dismal state of their marriage. She suspected that the doctor probably didn't even know that Oliver hadn't told her about going in for fertility testing and treatments himself.

While waiting for Laurel to arrive with the drug, Henderson explained to Felicity, Diggle, and Thea that he had read several articles from reputable medical journals about the latest research on Vertigo. He and his colleagues in the field of fertility had been curious about initial studies on the illegal drug that were published months after the Count was apprehended and imprisoned. Those studies had shown conclusive evidence that Vertigo invariably had serious, detrimental effects on the reproductive systems of 95% of addicted patients who had been treated in the hospitals of Starling City and had participated in the research. The doctor also explained that corollary studies had shown that the drug also had detrimental effects on the nervous system, particularly the brain.

Moreover, Henderson discussed the possible reasons why it was taking Oliver a longer time to heal. He said that it's probably because the fluid injected into him was an enhanced formulation – to which he expressed apprehension, saying that he hadn't come across any research yet on the new aerosol version of the illegal drug, and therefore could only speculate as to the side effects and damage that the reformulation was now inflicting upon Oliver, especially since he had been given a more likely highly concentrated dose. He said that this was most likely the cause of the terrible seizures and the deep sleep. With the lack of information on the reformulated Vertigo, Henderson explained that the best solution at the moment in order to deal with Oliver's symptoms was to flush the drug out of Oliver's system with another drug (which neither Felicity nor Diggle could pronounce or would remember), the same one that he had sent Laurel to fetch.

In the midst of the doctor's lengthy explanations, Felicity was fixated on that part where Henderson connected Vertigo with infertility. Sure, she was relieved that there was something that can be done to stop the seizures and possibly wake him up soon. And yes, she was worried about the side effects of the drug on Oliver. But most of all, she wondered if it was the real reason why Oliver couldn't… why they couldn't get pregnant all this time. She had always hated unsolved mysteries, and she couldn't resist the urge to ask, so she did.

"Dr. Henderson, is it possible that the Vertigo is the reason why Oliver's tests showed a low sperm count and poor sperm motility?" she asked curiously. The doctor frowned, confused because the timeline didn't quite add up. So Felicity continued, "I'm asking because this is not the first time Oliver's been injected with concentrated doses of the drug."

Diggle added, "He's had it twice before this, doctor. Hazards of the putting away notorious criminals."

The doctor's eyes widened, and it was as if someone had turned on a light bulb in his mind. He felt sympathy for the hero of Star City, acknowledging the many sacrifices that Oliver Queen had had to make to keep them all safe. Henderson replied, "I guess that explains why a healthy and physically fit man in his thirties would have fertility problems. Yes, that certainly would be a factor. In fact, I would think that it is the single most plausible cause, if both instances you speak of occurred after he was stranded on that island. He did tell me in confidence that he had fathered a son before that."

Felicity turned away sadly, tears pooling in her eyes. When she had successfully blinked back her tears, she turned back and asked, "Doctor, is there any chance that the effects of the Vertigo that you described could be reversed? Or is his condition permanent?"

"Honestly?" Henderson replied in dismay, "I don't know. The published studies only confirmed the adverse effects of Vertigo on fertility. They hadn't had the chance to study whether or not those effects are temporary or permanent because that would entail longitudinal experimental methods. Scientists also haven't looked into a possible cure."

Felicity was quiet, too quiet. Henderson's words hit her hard, and devastation took on new meaning to her at that moment. She sank into a nearby metal stool beside Oliver. She picked up his hand and pressed the back of it against her cheek. It was one of those rare times when she was under a tremendous amount of stress that her brain-to-mouth filter surprisingly functioned properly. Without saying it out loud, she told Oliver as she gazed into his tranquil face, "I love you so much. Despite everything, I hope you know that I still do." A teardrop escaped the corner of her eyes and slid down her cheek onto Oliver's knuckles.

As soon as Laurel arrived with the vial of the medicine Henderson asked for, the doctor went to work as methodically as he always did. Soon the drug was coursing through Oliver's veins through the IV. With Diggle's help, the doctor was able to attach a catheter through which Oliver's urine can be collected. The doctor instructed them not to throw away the initial urine sample and to store it in the fridge since he intended to bring them – and the vials and spray can that Laurel had taken from the raid – to his colleague who is part of the researcher team doing the Vertigo studies.

They waited all morning for any change in Oliver's vitals and in his condition, but there was nothing. The doctor assured them that it would take time to flush the drug out of his body, and encouraged them to be patient. Oliver had one last but mild seizure around noon, which had lasted for less than thirty seconds, and that was it. Everyone was relieved.

After taking a sample of Oliver's blood for further testing, Dr. Henderson had left just before that last episode. He told Felicity to keep him updated, and he promised to check on Oliver later that day. Laurel and Thea also went home to rest and shower and change, but Diggle stayed to keep Felicity company after checking in on Lyla and Sara.

******************************

At around 2:00 Felicity noticed Oliver shivering. At first she feared it might have been the onset of another seizure, but when the erratic shaking didn't escalate, she realized that his body must have been experiencing hypothermia. It was very cold in the med bay. She touched him, and he was indeed very cold. Seeing that Diggle had fallen asleep on a chair leaning against the wall, she stood and headed up to the team's changing area. She realized that Oliver virtually had nothing on, and the thermal blanket wasn't keeping him warm enough, so she went to see if he still had some clothes in his locker upstairs. She hoped to find some sweatpants and a knitted shirt or sweater to keep him warm.

She rummaged through the stuff in his duffle bag, which wasn't very much. She pulled out a pair of dark grey sweatpants and a dark blue, long-sleeved, round-necked, knitted shirt. She even took one of his underwear, thinking that her husband would surely appreciate if he was cleaner down there. She would do it for him. There was no shame in that. He was her husband, wasn't he? She could do it – clean him up and put back the catheter in place – because she saw how the doctor and Digg did it, and she experienced first-hand how that inconvenient piece of contraption worked when she herself was hospitalized for the series of surgeries after the ambush that injured her spine.

When she thought she got everything she needed, she opened his locker again to put the duffle bag back in and saw a thin, leather-bound book. She hadn't noticed it a while ago because it had been underneath the duffle bag. Suddenly she was curious, because she had never seen that book before. She put down the duffle bag on the floor, picked up the book, and sat on one of the benches.

She opened the leather cover and read the title of the slim book, "Love Dares: a 40-Day Challenge to Love Your Spouse." Beneath the title, and scribbled in a man's handwriting that she didn't recognize, was a dedication. It read: "Dear Oliver, never give up. She's worth fighting for. I'm here for you, Walter."

Felicity's eyes narrowed in puzzlement, and she began to flip the pages of what she now understood to be a journal that had already been filled in. She found that each journal entry was meant to be read for a day, and that each one was accompanied by a challenge to be done within the day. As she scanned through the pages, the events of the last few weeks came rushing back to her. She remembered the Big Belly Burger lunch he left on her office desk. She remembered the green fern and the red customized pen. She remembered him making her breakfast and dinner – those thoughtful gestures that she had spurned by confronting him and telling him to let her go. She remembered the clean shower drain and the folded laundry. She even thought that the trip to the salon with Thea was his idea. Oliver's thoughtful gestures, special acts of kindness, and simple messages reaffirming his love for her had all been part of a series of dares that Walter Steele had apparently introduced him to through this journal.

As she skimmed through the journal devotionals and dares, Felicity wondered what other things he had done without her knowing, without expecting her to reciprocate, without any strings attached, without pressuring her to take him back. Her hands began to tremble slightly and her heart throbbed in her chest. She noticed Oliver's handwriting on top of each page; he had written down the date when he had read each entry. Based on the dates, she realized that her husband was in the middle of the forty-day challenge to win back her heart. What should she make of all these? How was she supposed to react?

She could have been irritated and angered that he had kept this a secret from her, too. (And she did make a mental note to ask her friends and family – starting with John Diggle – about these dares and find out who else among them knew about it.) She could have misconstrued his loving deeds and caring words as just a game to him so that he could get what he wanted. But she knew all too well the integrity of both her husband and Walter Steele, and now she understood why Walter wanted her to reconsider her decision to file for divorce for another two weeks or so. She could have easily dismissed this as just another futile attempt to win her back. But Felicity did not.

"Oh, Oliver…" she whispered through her quivering lips. She was fighting back the tears. She thought she was done crying since the wee hours of the morning. Yet how could she not weep? When she felt his love embrace her through the words of the journal and the memories of his loving acts in the last few weeks; the most touching one was the fact that he had gone in to the clinic and had himself tested. He'd done it for her. All of it – for her.

She believed that he loved her sincerely, and she had witnessed the many times he had tried to prove it. But now that she had discovered two of his most wonderful secrets of all – the fertility testing and the love dares – she proved beyond reasonable doubt that his love was sincere and unconditional. He had kept on loving and pursuing her despite the many times she had either refused to answer his texts and calls, or outright declined to get back together with him. He had kept on loving and pursuing her, just like he said he would, even when she had made the choice to end their marriage.

Felicity felt overwhelmed, and her heart flooded with both mirth and regret. Mirth, because she felt so blessed to have found a husband who truly loved her more than anyone or anything in this world, despite his many character flaws and errors in judgment. Regret, because she had not taken him back as soon as she found the courage to forgive him earlier, when he wasn't yet lying unconscious and unable to hear her tell him that she has reconsidered her decision. She feared that he might not even be able to remember her… them… when he wakes up, and she regrets every minute that she wasted when she could have spent it telling him how much she loved him and that she wanted them to get back together.

She knew her husband was not perfect, just as she was; she realized how unreasonable it had been for her to expect him never to make a mistake again, never to hurt her again in some way. If she focused on her pain and on the likelihood that Oliver might hurt her again, she would never ever be ready, or willing. But if she focused on their love for each other, she would have been ready and willing a week or so ago. She felt foolish for having been so selfish and self-absorbed. She had only been dwelling on her pain, her hurt; she forgot that Oliver had also been hurting. And yet in spite of the fact that he was indeed in pain for having broken her heart and for being rejected by her, her husband had pushed on and risked everything just to win her back.

Felicity pressed the open journal against her breast as she sobbed. Something fell from inside the journal onto her lap. When she looked down, she saw two envelopes. She recognized one of them as the letter she had left for him with her ring. She did not open that one; she already knew what was in it. She did open the other envelope that had her name on it, and she immediately recognized Oliver's handwriting. It was dated three days ago. She remembered him calling and texting her two days ago, asking if they could talk, so she thought that maybe it had something to do with this letter. Problem was, she had adamantly refused to call or text him back.

"Felicity, honey," the letter began, "I know you've already made a choice, and I respect that. Do what you have to, for all I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. I will sign the papers, if it comes to that. But know that I have also made my choice, which I hope you will also respect, and that is to love YOU ONLY for the rest of my life, no matter what. I am committed to our marriage until death takes me from you. So please take this ring back and keep it. I'm still hoping that you'll one day wear it again when you decide to come home to me. I'll be waiting. Love, Oliver."

Felicity slid her fingers into the envelope and found her ring inside. She slipped it onto her ring finger and smiled as another teardrop fell onto the letter she was reading. "I'm coming home, Oliver," she whispered. "I hope it's not too late."

Based on the dates on each page, Felicity realized that today was supposed to be the twenty-fifth day of his challenge. The journal entry read, "Love has a heart to serve." The day's dare read, "Be on the lookout for what your spouse needs today and do your best to meet each one as you are able. You may have to make some sacrifices, but resolve not to leave a need unmet if it is within your means and ability to do so."

In their vigilante business, Felicity had been on too many stakeouts to know what being on the lookout for important things on a mission entails. She didn't have to look hard to know what her husband needed right now. Oliver needed utmost care and attention, and she was going to give him her undivided care and attention and nurse him back to health. It was the least she could do for the man who had given his all for her despite his repeated failures.

Felicity's heart went out to her husband. She wanted to take care of him personally and do everything she can to meet his needs. She wasn't going to leave his side until he woke up because she wanted him to see her first of all when he opened his eyes. When he does, she hoped that despite the Vertigo's effects on his nervous system, he would still easily recognize her. So she called Curtis and her assistant, telling them that she won't be coming in for the rest of the day and for the rest of the week. Her assistant rescheduled all her upcoming meetings, and Curtis gave his word that he would manage things until she got back.

Felicity gazed at the journal in her hands, and she realized that she could do more. "Twenty-four dares down, sixteen more to go. I can do this," Felicity thought. She was going to honor her husband and begin reciprocating his love by taking up the dares and continuing the challenge for him until he wakes up. Because he will. And when he wakes up, she was going to challenge him to finish the dares together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For a few readers who've been following this, and are of the opinion that she shouldn't give Oliver a chance and just move on, I'm very sorry if this turn of events disappoints you. But HEA has been the plan from the beginning, and it was just the 'getting there' that needed to be worked out in the plot. It might be cliche for them to get back together after a life-threatening situation, but I think that this is not the case here. It wasn't really a character's death or Oliver's brush with death that made Felicity change her mind. She still had to sort through her issues and ended up making a choice she found to make sense. Learning about the fertility testing and the love dares were the major factors that enlightened her. Do keep reading, I hope. You still might find some things interesting and worth giving attention to.
> 
> Love endures. Love finds a way. I believe that with all my heart. For two people entwined by marriage, there is no choice to make but to be committed to it for life whatever the cost (unless of course, it is a life threatening situation such as an abusive spouse).


	15. Double Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Oliver sleeps, the three most important women in his life reminisce the good times. Felicity comes to terms with some of her issues and dares him back, and stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the advantages of staying home sick is being able to write on a laptop even while lying down. So, here is the next chapter, three days early. (I did say that I will try to update every other week.) Enjoy!

Day 26

Felicity sat beside Oliver in the med bay. She had woken up at around 6:00 a.m. and insisted that it was time Diggle went home to be with Lyla and Sara. She persuaded him to go home, telling him that she'll be fine and that Oliver seemed to be doing better than before. Diggle acquiesced after speaking on the phone with Thea, who said that she was getting ready to leave and come back to the bunker to keep her sister-in-law company. Felicity's back hurt, having slept at Oliver's bedside for hours, bent over on the metal table near where his arm lay motionless, but that didn't keep her from picking up the journal and reading it as soon as Diggle left.

"Love celebrates the good," Felicity read aloud with a sigh, as she stretched her arms and back. She learned that love focuses on the good things about the other person and the good things one's spouse is able to do, instead of dwelling constantly on their unpleasant traits, irritating habits, repeated mistakes and failures. Loves believes that one's spouse can change with ample encouragement, positive affirmation, and a load of patience. Love looks to the future with hope, believing in who the other person can be in the future, rather than complaining incessantly about who he is in the present. For the day's dare, Felicity was supposed to make a list of the good things she loved about her husband, and then affirm him about the top three things on her list. And then she was supposed to invite her spouse, if he were willing, to celebrate those good things in their usual way of celebrating things.

Felicity was a bit sad that the last part of the dare wasn't possible since Oliver was still in a coma. But she thought for a moment and came up with an idea. She was about to call Thea to ask for a favor when her phone rang. It was Thea. Thea was in a drive-through and thought of asking her what she wanted for breakfast. She asked for pancakes with extra blueberry toppings, and then she asked if Thea could stop by the store for a bottle of red wine. "Wine in the morning?" Thea wondered out loud. When Felicity assured Thea that she had heard her right, Thea didn't ask further and promised to get a bottle on her way to the bunker.

When she put down her phone, she retrieved her tablet from her purse and sat back down beside Oliver. She began to type in her list. The first one came to her in less than a second: "Oliver Queen is a real hero, in every sense of the word. He puts other first and is willing to put his life on the line for those he loves and cares about, and even for strangers." The second one she typed in had to do with their work. She wrote: "He is the best partner anyone can have. He always has my back, even when I've done something that he really didn't like. He listens to my inputs and almost always takes my advice. He values my worth in the team and makes me feel like a hero myself. He even considers my intellect and technical skills as my super powers." The corners of her lips turned up with that one. She had always found that remark cute and amusing.

Once she started making the list, Felicity was on a roll. She couldn't stop thinking about the things that made her husband a good man, a special man. She was amazed at how many qualities and traits she could think of and even shook her head in regret for having been fixated on the negative things that made her give up on their marriage.

One of the things she wrote was the fact that Oliver doesn't seem to have single cell in his body that knew what it meant to give up. He just doesn't give up. She had fallen in love with him for many reasons, but one of the best ones was that even in the most desperate hour, he had always found a way. Come to think of it, Oliver was the most persevering, persistent man she'd ever met. He didn't give up until he had killed Malcolm Merlyn in the aftermath of the Undertaking (or at least, he thought he had). He didn't give up during the Siege when the city was overrun with Mirakuru soldiers until he had out-smarted Slade (and she most gladly would take some credit for giving him the necessary boost of confidence that night). He didn't give up in Nanda Parbat, enduring the torturous brainwashing techniques of the League, and came back to her in one piece. He didn't give up fighting to live even when he faced the most formidable and fiendish foes in the likes of Ra's al Ghul and Damien Darkh. And even in their marriage, when she had given up hope, Oliver hadn't. Felicity realized that she definitely had a type. She was drawn to men who never gave up in a fight, men who had hero blood running through their veins – one man in particular who had the most beautiful blue eyes, the most gorgeous scruffy jaw line, the most attractive cropped hair, and the most stately broad shoulders that made her heart melt from the very first day she met him in her cubicle at QC.

Another good thing she wrote about Oliver had to do with his tenderness towards her and the people he held dear, such as his sister. Felicity had always wondered how a man like him – trained to be a fighter by Yao Fei and Slade Wilson, and molded to be a killing machine by ARGUS, the Bratva, and the League – could be such a gentle person. From the very beginning, his touch had been tender on her shoulders or her arm. In her first two years of working with him, she had savored those split-second physical contacts. Even a handshake or a squeeze of the hand thrilled her. When he held her face with both his hands for the first time in that hospital corridor the night Sara Diggle was born, she had forgotten to breathe. Long after she had walked away from him that night, and in the days that followed as they all grieved Sara Lance's death, the warmth of his affectionate touch on her face had lingered and had given her the comfort that she needed even if he hadn't been physically there to hold her in his arms.

How could hands that had dutifully killed numerous people in the past and expertly held weapons that claimed lives be the same hands that held her like she was a fragile piece of porcelain heirloom that he dared not drop? Those were the same hands that held her smaller ones snugly or snaked around her waist while they walked ever since they had become a couple – the same hands that combed through her hair and tucked stray strands of blonde hair behind her ear whenever they lounged around or cuddled in the couch. How was it that her husband's calloused and battle-scarred hands had been the same tender ones that sent electricity surging through her body as he explored every inch of her during their most intimate moments? Oliver's gentleness would remain a mystery to Felicity, but she didn't mind it at all.

This led her to another item on her list – that Oliver Queen was a terrific lover. (She no longer cringed at the mention of the word, nor did she consider it creepy anymore.) Felicity smiled as she typed away on her tablet. She didn't think any woman who had been with Oliver before they got together would protest. Oliver's smile still made her blush. His touches still made her tingle all over. His lips felt like soft pillow mountains each time they kissed. His skill in the bedroom department, in her opinion, was unparalleled. Her husband had always pleased her, and on many occasions, put her needs before his own. He was wonderful! In the past week when they thought they were getting somewhere, those feelings of want and attraction had resurfaced only to be snuffed out by their quarrel over Harwood.

She paused for a while at the thought of Oliver being the most amazing lover she had ever had. Sadness tugged at her heart for a web of reasons. Now that she thought of it, she did miss being with him… terribly… especially in an intimate way. She couldn't even remember the last time they were one. She bit her lip, regretting those times in the past year when he had intimated that he needed her but she had refused for one reason or another, valid or not. He had always known which buttons to press to get her to give in, but in the past several months, she had been brushing him off and moving away like he had some contagious disease. She had been stubborn – foolish and childish, actually – to think that she could have her way and get him to come with her to the fertility clinic if she withheld sex until he said yes. That hadn't happened, so she got even by moving out of their bedroom. That was another reason Felicity felt sad. She wondered with the incredulity of a skeptic why they couldn't get pregnant when they had so much pleasure being together. It just didn't make sense! The sheer frustration of not being able to have a child with the love of her life had turned her into a bitter, selfish, manipulative, scheming wife. She shook her head at that epiphany; the woman she had just described wasn't the real Felicity Smoak. Not at all. It's unbelievable what unresolved hurt can do to a person, she realized.

It took her a few minutes to recover from the sadness. She then looked down on her tablet and realized that she was going way off track. She was supposed to be celebrating the good things about Oliver, not wallowing in regret. She resolved to remember the lessons that surfaced from her latest realizations, but she couldn't add anything more to the list. Not at the moment, at least.

It was a good thing Thea arrived the next minute, bearing breakfast and red wine. As they were sharing their meal, Laurel walked out of the elevator and joined them, contributing granola bars to their simple feast. Thea and Laurel asked how Oliver was doing. Felicity told them that nothing much had changed, but that she was glad the seizures were over. They just wished he would wake up soon.

As they were winding down their meal, Laurel noticed that Felicity was wearing her wedding ring. Laurel courageously and candidly remarked, "Oh, you're wearing it." She said, pointing to the ring on Felicity's finger. Thea's head snapped towards Felicity's hand and gasped excitedly. "Hah! You are! That's… that's…"

Felicity smiled at her sister-in-law and friend, and then looked down at her hand. She stretched out her arm and stared at her wedding ring. "That… is never leaving my finger. Ever again."

Thea suddenly sprung towards Felicity and engulfed her in a tight hug that nearly caused her to topple off the metal chair she was sitting on. "I'm so glad you changed your mind! Ollie's gonna be so happy when he wakes up!" Thea exclaimed. Felicity hugged her back, and when they parted, she saw that Thea's eyes were glassy with tears.

Laurel walked over to them and earnestly embraced Felicity. "You've made the right choice," Laurel said softly to her just behind her ear. "I'm so happy for you, for the two of you."

Felicity was touched by Laurel's words and gesture. Yes, they had become really good friends in the last couple of years since she joined the Team, but she had always felt that something awkward still existed between them, which kept them from really becoming close. She had always thought that it was Laurel's long history with Oliver. Laurel was his first love after all, and that counts for something. Thoughts of Laurel had been what had kept him alive on Lian Yu. They had been through a lot together, even after he cheated on her with her younger sister Sara and after he had first returned to Starling City. Back then, Felicity had always thought that she didn't stand a chance against gorgeous Laurel.

One time when she and Oliver were already together, she had asked him if there ever was a time when she had gotten between him and Laurel earlier. Oliver had assured her that it never was the case, that he and Laurel had long been over by the time he realized that he had fallen in love with her. That was good to know. Before Laurel joined the Team, Felicity had felt like the older Lance sister had something against her. Felicity suspected it was jealousy, but she had no right to think that way back then because she and Oliver weren't together.

In the last couple of years, Laurel had changed. Laurel no longer gave Felicity stern and suspicious looks. Laurel had even trusted Felicity with her life each time the Team went out on patrol or on a dangerous mission. They became friends, teammates that had each other's backs, and Felicity liked to think that the annoying sense of rivalry between them no longer existed.

Laurel's most recent gesture proved Felicity right. Laurel was happy for her, for her and Oliver. Laurel hadn't even said anything like that to her on their wedding. Laurel had only congratulated them and wished them well. That set Felicity free from doubts, and for her, it brought their friendship to a whole new level. And just as Laurel pulled back from their embrace, Felicity tugged her back and whispered to her, "Thank you. It means a lot."

Thea took the bottle of red wine and opened it, saying, "I think this calls for a celebration." The cork popped and the women laughed. "Was this why you made me buy the wine?" Thea asked.

"Oh, not really," Felicity replied. "It wasn't because I wanted us to celebrate my change of heart. I wanted us to celebrate your brother. These past few days, actually, these past few weeks have made me appreciate the fact that I married a good man." Felicity smiled, raising her wine glass as Thea poured her some wine.

"He is a good man, all things considered," Laurel remarked. "He's not perfect. Heaven knows he's done some pretty stupid things. But, Ollie is Ollie. Underneath the ferocious front of the Green Arrow is a very gentle man."

"My brother certainly has come a long, long way," Thea joined in, pouring Laurel some wine. "I've known him all my life, and I sure am glad he's changed. For the better. I'd like to think that the three of us, ladies, had something to do with that in one way or another, and in varying degrees of influence. Don't you think so?" Thea grinned. Felicity and Laurel readily agreed.

"I'm really glad you changed your mind about the divorce, Felicity," Thea said. Felicity smiled at her sister-in-law, taking another sip of her wine. "I mean, sure my brother will live even after you're no longer together, but it won't be the same. He won't be the same. I've always believed what he said when he proposed to you at the tree-lighting event that Christmas. You are the light that guides his way." Thea suddenly smirked. "Oh, wow! I can't believe I'm talking in metaphors!" They all laughed at that.

"Kidding aside… Oliver is a good man, Felicity. And what you two have? The rest of us can only dream of it," Laurel commented. She stopped to take a swig of her wine and to figure out how to phrase her next words. She then smiled at Felicity and continued, "When I realized that Ollie and I could never go back to the way things used to be, I mourned that loss. But I realized later on that we shared the blame for how our relationship turned out. Being with Tommy for a while helped. But that was short-lived, and I mourned that loss twice as hard. Then I thought I had something good going with Ted Grant, but that, too, didn't happen. Now I'm not sure I'm ever going to find the right person. Maybe not yet. Maybe I'm not ready. I guess what I'm saying is that when you find the right person, and you truly love one another so much that you want to share the rest of your life together, you just take that chance and never let it go." With that, Laurel ended her speech, gazing at Felicity with reassuring eyes.

"I realize that now," Felicity responded. "And that man over there better wake up. Soon! Because I have grand plans of showing him just how much I love and appreciate him."

"Here's to Oliver Queen," Thea emphatically said as she raised her wine glass to offer a toast, "A good man, a loving brother, an amazing husband, a wonderful friend, and a great hero!"

"To Oliver Queen!" they exclaimed. The wine glasses clinked, and the three most important women in Oliver's life cheered.

Felicity remembered the day's entry in the journal. She'd been able to follow through with the dare, and it felt so good. Celebrating all good things about her husband had been cathartic. She only wished Oliver could have heard the conversation that transpired among the three of them. He would have liked it. A lot.

Later in the day when Diggle returned to the bunker, Felicity took the opportunity to ask the Team if they knew anything about the love dares journal and the forty-day challenge Oliver had been doing to win her back. Laurel told her that she knew nothing about it. In the beginning, Thea also sought absolution, but then she remembered the favor Oliver asked of her. Thea easily put two and two together and admitted that she might have helped him with one dare, confirming Felicity's suspicion about the trip to the salon and spa. Diggle was the last one who spoke. He confessed to knowing about the journal and the dares. He also told Felicity that he had also agreed to be Oliver's accountability partner for the rest of the challenge. The three of them thought that Felicity was going to be mad at them for keeping yet another secret from her, but no. Felicity was done being unreasonable. She thanked them for their honesty, as well as for their friendship. She told them how grateful she was to have their support as she and Oliver rebuild their marriage.

Felicity also called Walter Steele that evening to thank him for introducing Oliver to the challenge and to tell him that she herself had started reading it and taking up the dares. She told Walter that she didn't need to wait two weeks to reconsider the divorce because she had decided to give their marriage another chance. Walter was more than pleased. He wished them well and told her to give his regards to Oliver. It pained her that she couldn't tell him about her husband's predicament, but that will have to do for now.

Day 27

Nothing much changed in Oliver's condition the previous day, but Felicity hoped that this day would be different. This is the fourth day that he's in a coma, and she was getting worried he might not wake up for a longer period of time. She contemplated bringing in a neurologist to check up on him if nothing else changed today. She didn't like the idea of yet another stranger finding out the secret identity of Star City's mayor, but what could she do? His vitals were stable, but they had no way of telling what was going on in that brain of his.

She had taken a quick shower and dried her hair upstairs before Thea left, and now she was alone with Oliver in the med bay again. Laurel and Diggle had gone home the night before.

She picked up the journal and opened to the twenty-seventh entry that she had bookmarked with Oliver's letter. "Love completes each other." The Scripture text in the devotional portion read, "If two lie down together, they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?" She smiled briefly, recalling how Thea had caught herself talking in metaphors the day before and made a joke about it. Now here she was reading something just as poetic. Her smile soon faded as she pondered on what the words meant. They made her think back on the very same thoughts she had the previous day. She missed her husband. She missed his warmth. And this time, she wasn't just thinking about physical warmth. She missed the sheer pleasure of his company – just being with him, exchanging stories at the end of a long day, laughing at each other's corny jokes, sharing a home-cooked meal, making plans for their future and for the Team. It was true what the journal said: Two are better than one. How could she be warm alone?

Just a few days ago she had been internally kicking and screaming over the fact that she wanted to break free and take back the controls of her life. She had wanted to go at it alone again. She had thought that that was the way for her to be happy again. She had protested how she had "lost herself in Oliver" because she didn't use to be that kind of girl.

Now, she couldn't imagine herself living without him in her life. Sure, her broken heart would mend and would keep beating. She would keep breathing. But existing was different from truly living. And living without Oliver – or with someone other than Oliver – wouldn't be life at all. She could move on and hurdle the heartbreak – oh, she could – because she had done it a few times in her past quite successfully, but her life wouldn't be the same. Not after Oliver Queen. Oliver, too, might survive life without her, but she knew his life wouldn't be the same. Now that she was being totally honest, she resigned to the fact that they had not only found themselves in each other, they also completed each other. Ending their relationship would have been a triumph for her ego, but she would have moved on with the other half of her heart missing. She realized that that was a loss she couldn't really live with.

It dawned on Felicity that she truly and deeply cared about her husband. She loved him, maybe not as much as he loved her, but she did. She truly did. Her love completed him, and his love completed her.

Felicity continued to read the journal, and when she got to the day's dare, she heaved a sigh. The challenge was for her to recognize that her spouse was integral to her success and to let him know that from here on, she would include him in her upcoming decisions by listening to his perspective and counsel. The dare went further on to say that if she had ignored her mate's input in the past, she was supposed to admit this oversight and apologize. What the dare had her do was so uncharacteristic of Felicity Smoak. She'd have to swallow her pride to do it.

She began to recall incidents when she had asserted herself during discussions with Oliver on major decisions, discussions that had escalated to arguments. Some had even morphed into ugly quarrels. And almost all of the time, Oliver had been the one initiating reconciliation and giving in just to end their disputes. She had always thought her plans were full-proof and seamless, and more often than not, nothing her husband dared say passed her standards or expectations. She had thought she was doing him a favor by taking control of situations and solving problems even before they became problems, and at times, he had encouraged that kind of behavior or just let her get away with it. But as she pondered on the day's dare, she realized that that kind of mindset contributed to the breakdown in their marriage.

"So much for completing each other," she scoffed at herself. She became consciously aware that all this time she had been blind-sided. All she could see were Oliver's faults while she overlooked her own. Not to say that his big lie wasn't seriously offensive. It certainly was. But she also had to take responsibility for her part in them drifting apart. She admitted to nagging him and manipulating his emotions and actions when they struggled with the issue of them not being able to have children. She admitted that on many occasions she thought she was better than him and, therefore, that earned her the right to be overbearing when it comes to decisions they had to make. She realized that having an above-average IQ did not give her the license to disrespect or put down her husband, consciously or not. She also admitted that she had been harboring anger and an unforgiving spirit. When Oliver had told her the truth about William, instead of initiating peaceful talks, she held on to bitterness and blame, wielding them as powerful weapons to protect herself against her husband, who by that time had practically been begging for her forgiveness. Felicity realized that she may not have been the biggest liar, but she had been the biggest fool for thinking she was blameless in all of this, and for almost letting Oliver go.

She looked at Oliver lying still on the metal table and swallowed hard. Twice. She stood up and walked over to the other side where there weren't any tubes and cables connecting him to the machines and medicines that would get in her way. She got under the thermal blanket and snuggled close facing him. She placed her head between his neck and shoulder and breathed him in, sighing contentedly at the closeness she had missed. She then draped her arm over his torso and prepared to deliver the speech that the day's dare required.

"Oliver, honey," she began but stopped short. She startled herself by calling him honey because she hadn't spoken it for quite some time. She loved how the term of endearment rolled off her tongue once again. "I found your journal the other day. And I know about the dares. I'll have you know that I've taken up the challenge on your behalf, and I'm learning new things. I've realized some things, and I'm hoping we could talk about them soon. I'd really love that, but… but to do that, you have to wake up, sweetheart."

Felicity didn't notice the tear that escaped the corner of her eye. It rolled down her cheek and onto Oliver's neck.

"I'm sure you'll be glad to know that I've decided not to file for divorce. I've decided to give us a chance. You see, I didn't really realize how much I need you in my life. I see now that our drifting apart wasn't just your fault. I had something to do with it, too. I've been… arrogant… and I've been wrong to put the blame entirely on you. Can you forgive me? Please wake up, and tell me that you forgive me for what I've put you through."

Felicity sniffled. That was when she realized that she was already crying. Again.

"Oliver, please wake up so that we can try to start over again. Please, honey. I… I can't do this without you. We're partners, remember? We complete each other. I promise not to ever put you down, to listen more, and to heed the wisdom behind your… usually fewer words. I promise I won't run ahead of you when we have to make decisions together. I can't guarantee that I'll stop nagging all at once, but I sure am going to give it my best shot. So what do you say?"

Felicity asked, as if she expected him to talk back. It sure would have been nice. But his reply was only silence.

"John had to tell me that you've been seeing Dr. Henderson. He said you were prepared to tell me yourself, but… At first I couldn't believe you finally decided to go through with it. I mean, you always turned me down each time I asked you to come with me. John said that you… did it for me… after Curtis facilitated your… rude awakening."

Felicity chuckled a bit at the thought of Curtis giving Oliver unsolicited advice. She imagined him braving his speech in fear and trembling. That was when she began to stop crying, and her mood lightened up a bit. She may not have been aware of it yet, but her spunky, bubbly personality was slowly coming back.

"I must say, Mr. Queen, you haven't lost your touch. You sure know how to charm your way back to a woman's heart," she told him, a naughty smile forming on her lips. "Tell you what… Since you have dared me to take you back by accomplishing all those challenges so far, I dare you back. Wake up, Oliver. Get up! If you do, I promise not only to give our marriage a chance, but also to give us another chance at trying for a baby once your treatments are done. Talk about incentive! Are you in?"

Of course, there was no answer. But for Felicity, it didn't change the validity and efficacy of the double dare. She knew that if he were conscious, his answer would definitely be a yes.

Still nothing much changed for the rest of the day. Diggle arrived, bringing dinner. He had promised her earlier to come back and be the one to stay up all night so that she could get some decent sleep on one of the cots upstairs.

But just before midnight, Oliver's lips began to move.

At first, Diggle thought he was imagining things. It was already late, and it was easy to mistake the humming of the machines for someone whispering. But when he approached Oliver to check on him, true enough, his eyes were closed but his lips were moving. He bent over, placing his ear just above Oliver's mouth and listened keenly. Oliver was asking for Felicity. He spoke her name repeatedly, as if he were dreaming.

"Felicity," Diggle spoke over the phone when she picked up. "I think he's waking up. He's asking for you."

Felicity didn't even reply. She immediately hung up and rushed down to the med bay on the elevator. The next thing Diggle heard was the clicking of her heels coming near.

"Oliver?" she called out to him. When she came to a stop right beside the metal table, she did the same thing Diggle had done. She bent over and placed her ear just above Oliver's mouth and listened.

"Felicity… Felicity… please," Oliver muttered over and over again.

"I'm here, Oliver. I'm here. Open your eyes, honey. Please." Felicity took his hand and squeezed hard. "Oliver, can you hear me? It's Felicity. I'm here. Open your eyes for me."

"Felicity… Felicity… stay with me…" Oliver's voice was a bit louder now. But his eyes remained shut, just rolling underneath his eyelids.

"What's happening to him, John?" Felicity asked frantically.

"I'm not sure," Diggle replied.

Felicity kept squeezing Oliver's hand, whispering soothing words into his ear, telling him to wake up and open his eyes. She pressed her cheek on his forehead as intelligible noises came out of his mouth. "Felicity… please, don't leave… stay with me, Felicity." Tears soon appeared out of the corners of his eyes and rolled down his temples onto the cold metal underneath his head.

"If this is anything like what we've seen of the side effects of Vertigo, I'm guessing he's having hallucinations in his sleep," Diggle said. Diggle's forehead furrowed; he was clearly distraught over what his friend was going through, feeling helpless that he couldn't do anything much about it.

"What are we going to do?" Felicity asked him.

Diggle heaved a heavy sigh and replied, "I don't-"

Before he could finish his answer, he and Felicity were startled when Oliver's eyes suddenly opened wide as he sprang up to sitting position. "Felicity!" Oliver cried.

"I'm here! Oliver, I'm right here!" Felicity called out to him. She placed both her hands on his shoulders and pulled him towards her, her head crashing against his chest.

"Felicity?" Oliver spoke softly. Slowly, he lowered his head and rested his chin on the crown of her head, lifting his arms up to embrace her. "You're here? You're still here." The tone of his voice was between that of a question and a statement. He rubbed circles on Felicity's back as he nuzzled his cheek against her soft hair.

"Yes, it's me. I'm here, Oliver," she replied just as softly. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for you." She clung to him, locking her arms around his waist. She needed to feel the warmth of his body just as much as he did.

"Felicity…" he whispered.

Their chests were pressed against each other's, and she felt his heartbeat gradually slowing down. Oliver's hands moved from her back to her arms, and he squeezed them gently. "Felicity…" he whispered again, this time calmer.

Felicity pulled back and looked up, gazing at his face. For a while, she wasn't sure how to read the expression on his face. And then he spoke again, a tad bit louder than before, "Felicity?" She could sense the confusion in his voice. Something was wrong. Oliver couldn't look straight into her eyes. His troubled eyes roamed all over her face, blinking several times as if to adjust his focus on her face or to clear the image in front of him.

"What's wrong?" she asked, as his right hand came up to cup her cheek.

"Is it really you? Felicity... I…" Oliver was groping for words, his face laden with distress. He traced the contours of her face with his fingertips from her forehead to her cheekbone and down to her jaw line. Another teardrop fell from his eye as his finger grazed her lips.

"What is it, honey? Tell me, please." Felicity was becoming more and more anxious. She had a feeling she wouldn't like the answer to her question, but she knew she had to ask.

"I'm awake now. Am I not?" he asked.

She nodded her head in agreement. "Yes, Oliver. You're awake."

Oliver blinked several times. "I… I can't see you very well," Oliver answered, agitation evident in his voice. He kept studying her face, but his eyes kept blinking repeatedly, and there was mild twitching at the corner of his right eye.

Felicity cast a worried look at Diggle, as if to ask their friend why this was happening. But she knew. She knew that this was one of the things they dreaded would happen. This was what Henderson warned them about. They knew that the concentrated dose of the reformulated Vertigo was going to have serious effects on Oliver, but she wasn't expecting this. She mustered every ounce of courage left in her and held back the sobs that were threatening to break out.

"Oliver, what do you see?" she asked as calmly as she could.

"I can see the shape of your face… and your dark-rimmed glasses. Your lips are… pink? But everything is really blurry," he replied.

Felicity took a deep breath. She was relieved that her husband was not blind, but his vision was hazy. She stared at his face, observing other details that she could report back to the good doctor. She noticed the slight twitching at the corner of his right eye. She also noticed that he seemed to have difficulty controlling the blinking of his eyes. And when he retracted his hand from her face, she noticed the slight tremors not just on that hand, but also on the other hand that had loosened its grip on her arm.

"It's okay, Oliver. Everything will be okay," she comforted him. She wasn't sure what okay meant at that point, but she had to say something to calm him down. Diggle had been quiet all the while. "Can you stand?" she asked.

"Help me get down," Oliver said.

She helped him move to sit on the edge of the metal table, his legs hanging down on its side. "John is here, Oliver. He's going to help us, okay?" she said.

Diggle came around the med table to assist them. They disconnected him from the cables and removed the catheter. With Oliver's right arm around Diggle's shoulder and his left arm around Felicity's shoulder, they managed to get him to stand. They were both relieved that he was able to do so, and that he was able to take a few steps easily as they led him to a nearby chair, pulling the wheeled IV stand after him.

"Everything is hazy, Felicity," Oliver spoke. "I can see light and shadows, but nothing is clear. What happened to me?" he asked. He was trying to stay calm, but both his hands were shaking.

"What do you remember?" Diggle asked Oliver.

It took him a few seconds to respond. "I… I was with Thea and Laurel. We responded to Lance's call to assist the SCPD. We were in an abandoned building. I was looking for the main lab. When I got there, someone came from behind and…" Oliver stopped. Diggle and Felicity exchanged glances. They were both relieved that Oliver's memory seemed to be intact, but he needed some help remembering what exactly happened.

"That's right. A few nights ago, you assisted the SCPD in a raid on a Vertigo lab at the Glades," Diggle continued the account for him. "Someone somehow managed to inject a concentrated dose of the reformulated Vertigo into your neck."

Then Felicity picked up from there. "We… we called in Dr. Henderson to help us because you were in a coma and you were having seizures. John said…" Felicity hesitated for a while. She knew that Oliver would pick up on the fact that she most probably already knew about both his secrets because they had called in Henderson. "John said that you've been seeing Dr. Henderson, and that you trusted him, so I…" She paused again, unsure of how to go on. Oliver took her hand and planted a kiss on her knuckles as he closed his eyes. That was all the reassurance she needed to keep going. "So I made the decision to ask for the doctor's help while you were sleeping. He gave you some meds to flush out the Vertigo from your body, and since then, your seizures have stopped. Oliver, you've been sleeping for four days. But, you're awake now, and that's what matters." Her voice trembled slightly towards the end, betraying how painful it was for her to see him like this, even if she tried to hide it from him.

"I'm okay, Felicity. I'm going to be okay," he told her affectionately as he rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. "This… whatever this is that's clouding my eyesight and causing these tremors… I'm sure they're temporary."

Oliver couldn't see very well. He couldn't control the quaking of his hands and the twitching of his eyelids. And yet, there he was, trying to console her and make her feel better. She loved him all the more for it.

But deep inside Felicity felt the turmoil. She wanted to say, "No, you're not okay. You're half-blind, your hands are shaking, and your eyes are blinking like crazy! You. Are. Not. Okay." To say that she was utterly frustrated was an understatement. She was totally upset. She knew she should be grateful that her husband had survived and lived through the ordeal, but she was angry. Angry at the people who had done this to him and had been plaguing their city with a dangerous drug. Angry that the most important man in her life could not look into her eyes right now and see how much love she was ready to offer him, how sorry she was for all the pain she had caused him these past months. Angry that she had no clue whatsoever how to help him recover his 20/20 vision and the steadiness of his hands.

"Close your eyes, honey, and just… rest." That was what she ended up whispering into her husband's ears.

As Felicity turned away from him, she closed her eyes, too. She needed to make an important phone call, but her breath hitched and her chest hurt. Her hand instinctively came up to clutch the fabric of her dress in front of her chest as she wiped away a tear that had streaked down her cheek. It hurt that just as she was ready to start afresh in their marriage, her husband had to suffer this way. It hurt to see her hero sitting helpless and disoriented, when he had only been trying to save the city and make it a safer place for people to live in.

Love is unconditional. Love has a heart to serve. Love celebrates the good. Love completes the other. The lessons from the journal came rushing back to her consciousness. Felicity was sure that her love for Oliver would not change, regardless of his physical condition. For better or for worse, they had promised each other. And now more than ever, she was determined to fulfill her vow. She had made her choice, and she was going to care for this man and nurture him back to health even if it takes an entire lifetime to do it.

She had one misgiving, however, and the thought ripped her heart in two. The Green Arrow's prowess demanded the accurate and precise use of his vision and his steady aim. How on earth was her hero going to accomplish those now? Was this the end of their crime-fighting partnership?

Felicity bit her lower lip, and with resolute determination, told herself, "Not a chance."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did you like the way that Felicity, Thea, and Laurel celebrated Oliver Queen?
> 
> I know, I know... Just when things were beginning to turn out fine for Olicity, I just had to ruin it one more time. I'm so sorry about that, but the story isn't quite headed towards the ending yet. So, hang in there a bit longer. It is, after all, only the 27th day of the 40-day challenge. We just have to hurdle a couple more conflicts, and then we will all have our HEA. You'll be glad to know that there will be some fluff along the way.
> 
> As always, I'd love to hear from you, even if it's just to say that you're still following this story. I do hope that this has not been merely entertaining but insightful for you as well.


	16. Don't You Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity and Team Arrow find answers and solutions for the disappointing news that keep coming. But it's not all bad news. An important, defining Olicity moment happens here that resolves one of the major conflicts in the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is three days late, and I apologize for that. This one was more challenging and difficult to write than all the previous chapters, I don't know why. Proofing also took a bit longer than before. Plus, TOO MANY things got in the way! Thank you for your patience. Now this chapter, which is the longest one so far (even if all the events happen in just one day) is finally posted. I hope that makes up for the delay.
> 
> This one is for minny16, who time and again prompts me to keep going, reminding me that there are people still following this story. Enjoy y'all!

Day 28

Felicity was deeply troubled and upset over Oliver's condition, but the entire Team was there for moral support early the next morning. Thea and Laurel had arrived with breakfast soon after Diggle texted them at 6:00 a.m. that Oliver had finally awakened at around midnight prior. Even police commissioner Lance came early that Monday morning after Laurel had called him.

Oliver was still asleep when Thea, Laurel, and Lance trickled in. Felicity and Diggle briefed them about his condition. Thea did not take it well – the news about Oliver's vision and the tremors in his hands – and was not able to keep herself from cursing the drug thugs who had done this to her brother. She began to worry about how he was going to do his mayoral obligations in this condition. Lance vowed to do everything in his power so that SCPD could clean up the city from the remnants of small-time Vertigo dealers and pushers that were scattered after the major players of the drug ring were arrested during the raid that night when Oliver had been hurt. Laurel was no longer thrilled about the success of the raid and the multiple arrests of big-time suppliers made that night, since Oliver was now suffering dire consequences of the risk they took on that particular mission to help save their city. Felicity encouraged everybody (including herself) not to lose hope just yet, since there was a good chance that Oliver's current state was only temporary.

Diggle hadn't spoken a word all throughout the group's discussion, and Felicity felt that something about him was off. When Oliver woke up, and the others had gotten busy fussing over him, she pulled Diggle aside. She didn't have to try so hard to squeeze a confession out of him in private. Diggle admitted that he was feeling guilty about not being there with the Team that night for the raid. He felt very bad that he had not insisted to Oliver that he was feeling better later that day and that he was well enough to join the Team for patrols. He blamed himself for not having his best friend's back just because of a stupid stomach upset. Felicity assured him that no one was blaming him for what happened; she didn't, and she was certain that she spoke for Oliver when she said that he, too, didn't. She told him that guilt-tripping was not what they needed at such a crucial time, and that what they needed to do was work together to help Oliver get better. They then gave each other a warm, comforting hug, which they both needed as a reassurance that everything was going to be okay.

When they rejoined the others at the med bay, Dr. Henderson arrived. Lance thought it best to give Oliver some privacy and prompted Laurel and Thea to go with him to the upper level to check on some of Felicity's programs. Felicity asked Diggle to stay with her because she needed someone who understood medical stuff, and he readily obliged.

The doctor examined Oliver thoroughly, first checking his vitals and then doing vision screening and having Oliver do some simple, standard neurological tests to ascertain the extent of the tremors in his hands. When the doctor checked his lower extremities, tremors were found in his feet as well, but those were mild enough to allow him to stand and walk very short distances. Oliver complained of some numbness in hands, arms, legs, and feet. He also told the doctor that his eyes hurt when the lights are bright, and that when he keeps his eyes open for a long time, he starts to get a headache. When the doctor asked him if he felt anything else that was out of the ordinary or painful, he shook his head.

Henderson's clinical diagnosis confirmed that the Vertigo had indeed done some damage on Oliver's nervous system, just like the ones that he had read from the research studies published in medical journals. He said that his optic nerve must have been affected, hence, the blurred vision; the continuous blinking was merely an involuntary action done by his eyes to adjust to what he sees. The side effects of the illegal drug had also affected the nerves that were responsible for control and feeling in his upper and lower extremities. When Oliver asked him if he thought these problems were permanent, the doctor shook his head and shrugged. "Well, I am not a neurologist, so at this point, I don't want to presume or conclude anything. I suggest you take Oliver to see one. I also recommend that he see an ophthalmologist that has specialized training in neurology."

The doctor's voice waivered a bit, which was a telltale sign that he was holding back on something, and Felicity quickly picked up on that. She asked him frankly, "Doctor, what are you not telling us?" The doctor remained silent and avoided her gaze.

Oliver then spoke. His voice was soft and weak. "It's okay, doctor. We've gone through worse things than this before. Please, do tell us."

The doctor looked up and shifted his gaze between Oliver and Felicity. When he finally found the courage to speak, he looked Oliver in the eyes and said, "From what scientists and medical researchers know of Vertigo, it has been established that prolonged exposure to the drug has detrimental effects on the reproductive system, and those effects have been tested and proven to be degenerative. If that is how Vertigo affects the reproductive system, it wouldn't be far-fetched to deduce that any adverse effects it could have on other bodily systems like the nerves would also be degenerative. In other words, the symptoms may not get better; they might even get worse. I… I'm very sorry, Oliver. I truly am."

Oliver closed his eyes shut. It wasn't just because they were tired and that he felt the onset of another headache coming due to their extended use; it was also because he was greatly discouraged and troubled, not really for himself, but for the city and the people he cared about. His mind started to go on fast-forward mode.

How was he supposed to serve the people of Star City now? Surely the mayor couldn't be expected to function well in this condition. His political enemies and the sharks in City Hall would take advantage of the situation for personal gain once they hear that the mayor was now handicapped and soon launch a campaign to oust him from office on the basis of physical incapacity. How was he going to keep the city safe as the Green Arrow now? He wouldn't be able to hit targets with his bow and arrow anymore. He wouldn't be able to see clearly in the day, so how was he supposed to see well enough to go on patrols at night? He wouldn't be able to run like the wind on rooftops in pursuit of big-time or small-time crooks anymore. He wouldn't even be able to connect solid punches and kicks on an enemy even if he stayed on one spot.

And how would he be able to take care of his wife when he was now the one who needed to be taken care of? If the Vertigo really had degenerative effects on his nervous system, then surely his reproductive system hadn't escaped progressive damage as well. His chest constricted and ached at the thought that he would never be able to father another child with Felicity anymore. His old brooding self began to resurrect from the grave, rearing its ugly, monstrous head as he thought that she would be so much better off leaving him and filing for divorce now that he was going to be useless. He was also beginning to feel his temper rising, his anger threatening to break loose. He fought hard to resist the urge to throw something, and was glad that there was nothing within reach.

His prospects weren't good, and he knew it. He also sensed that Felicity knew it. He didn't have to look at her face to know. She had his hand in a death grip. That somehow kept it from shaking. Judging from the tension and heat that he felt from her body, which was just a few inches away from him, she was not taking the doctor's diagnosis and his prognosis very well.

After about a minute of absolute silence in the med bay, Felicity took a deep breath and dared to ask one more question. Her voice was firm, and Oliver could tell from the sound of her voice and the posture of her body beside him that his wife had been in deep thought and was up to something. "Dr. Henderson, I think I know enough about medical science to understand what it means when you say that the adverse effects of Vertigo on bodily systems are degenerative. But does that mean that they are absolutely irreversible?"

"If by 'irreversible' you mean that his damaged nerves won't get better in time, I would have to say… yes, they are. There is nothing that can be done except to halt the degeneration, which simply means no more exposure to Vertigo. But I'm afraid that whatever damage has been done remains as is. In Oliver's case, the potent elements of the drug apparently attacked his nervous system. I still have to run some tests to determine the extent of the damaging effects on his sperm count and sperm motility," the doctor replied.

Felicity shook her head vehemently. She stared afar off with a crease between her brows. Henderson and Diggle could tell she wasn't going to back down that easily. An idea was forming inside her brilliant mind. When she looked at Henderson again, she asked, "Doctor, does 'irreversible' also mean that nothing can be done medically to repair damaged nerve cells or regenerate new and healthy ones?"

Henderson blinked twice and then looked at Felicity with hopeful eyes. He understood where Felicity was going with this. "The answer is no. Scientific research has not yet established that with regards to Vertigo patients. However, it doesn't mean that it is impossible. The human body is capable of repairing and regenerating new cells on its own every day. It's just that the body cannot keep up with the type of damage caused by very potent drugs like Vertigo, especially with prolonged use or direct exposure to concentrated doses. But you know as well as I do that scientific breakthroughs in cell repair and regeneration are possible, if not in the immediate present, then in the near future. If you consider the prospects, then there is reason to hope for the best. Even you, Mrs. Queen are living proof that what used to be scientifically impossible can become possible." The doctor smiled at Felicity.

Felicity smiled back at Dr. Henderson as the light bulb turned on in her head. Whether he was aware of it or not, Henderson had given her a brilliant idea. She squeezed Oliver's hand to somehow share with him some of the hope that was springing up in her heart.

Oliver opened his eyes, and they looked at each other. His vision was still blurry, and he couldn't see the tears that had welled up in his wife's eyes. He didn't even see when the first tear of joy and hope fell from her eye. It was only when she kissed his temple and felt the wetness on her cheek that he noticed that she was crying.

"Oliver, I need to speak with Curtis for a while. I'll be right back," she whispered into his ear. She dried her tears with the back of her other hand as she disentangled her fingers from his.

Immediately, Oliver knew what she meant and understood what she intended to do, so he nodded in consent. He opened his eyes, leaned forward towards her, and looked at his wife straight in the eyes. Despite the haziness, he could see the faint blues looking straight back at him. They connected with just one look, no matter how blurry it was for him, and they both knew that there was no other decision to make. Felicity nodded to him, signifying she understood that he approved of her plan.

She then turned and said to Henderson, "Thank you, doctor, for everything. If you'll excuse me, I have to make an important phone call. John Diggle will stay with Oliver and assist you with whatever else you need."

Dr. Henderson nodded, telling Felicity that he will have to run some more tests in the lab, so he'll be drawing some blood from Oliver and taking a sample from the most recent urine they'd collected from him before they had removed his catheter to compare with the results from the previous sample he had already tested two days ago. When the doctor told her that he would also be collecting a new sample from Oliver for sperm cell testing, Felicity was relieved that she wasn't going to be there to witness it; she was thankful not to be put in the awkward predicament of assisting him for that, because she was definitely not yet ready for something as private as that. Diggle will just have to bring him to the bathroom, and the rest Oliver can handle by himself.

Henderson promised to call her as soon as the results came out. He also added that Oliver needed to be put back on hydration intravenously, and he prescribed that the drug he'd asked Laurel to pick up from the pharmacy be infused into his IV for another two days just to be sure that whatever remains of the Vertigo will be completely flushed out of his body and be kept from doing any more damage than it already had. Henderson suggested that they consider bringing Oliver home to recuperate there, and Felicity agreed. She then excused herself and left the med bay with the prescription in hand, leaving Diggle to assist the doctor with Oliver.

**************************

Felicity stepped out of the elevator into the main floor of bunker. Her phone was pressed against her ear as she waited for Curtis to pick up. "Curtis!" she said as soon as the man said 'hello.' "Thanks for picking up so early. Are you at work already?"

"As a matter of fact, I am! I clocked in early today. What's up?" Curtis asked. He seemed to be in a cheerful mood.

"I need your help. Actually, Oliver needs your help," she replied.

"O-kay…" Curtis responded, clueless and somewhat nervous. Oliver Queen, the mayor, the boss's spouse, needed his help. Again. Whatever for? The last time he and Oliver had talked privately, the man had asked for advice because he had been trying to win his wife back. Oliver hadn't gotten back to him on that, so he wasn't sure how his advice about the baby issue turned out. He certainly felt awkward that Felicity was the one asking for his help on Oliver's behalf now. He didn't know what she knew, and he had promised Oliver not to say anything about their previous conversation. He wasn't exactly sure what to say, so he kept his mouth shut, which was a rare occurrence for him whenever he was curious, nervous, or excited about something.

"Curtis? You still there?" Felicity asked. Curtis realized that he had been speechless for quite some time.

"Yeah, yeah… I'm still here," he answered. "You said something about Oliver needing my help?"

"Yes!" Felicity replied eagerly. Curtis could tell by the intensity of her words that this was very important to her. "He needs the chip."

"What?!" Curtis exclaimed with puzzlement.

Thea's head instantly snapped to Felicity's direction upon hearing her talk to Curtis about Oliver needing the wonder chip. It also captured the attention of Laurel and her father. The three of them started moving towards the dais, joining Felicity who was just finishing her conversation with Curtis in front of her computers.

When Felicity hung up, Thea immediately asked, "What's up with Oliver and the chip?"

Felicity summarized Dr. Henderson's diagnosis of Oliver's condition, wincing slightly when she got to the bad news that the effects of the Vertigo on his nerves were degenerative and not temporary. But before Thea even had a second to become despondent, Felicity continued with the good news that there was a good chance that the bio-stimulant chip could stimulate the regeneration of new and healthy nerve cells that would bring his vision back and make the shaking of his hands and feet stop eventually. Thea, Laurel, and Lance easily understood where the miracle chip – the same kind that was implanted on Felicity's spine – came into the picture.

"So, you asked Curtis if he could get a chip ready for Oliver?" Laurel asked Felicity.

"Yes, I've already authorized it as a confidential Palmer Tech project, as well as the use of the lab. Curtis is working on it as we speak," Felicity nodded and smiled with a growing enthusiasm.

Thea stepped forward to give her sister-in-law a nice, grateful hug. When they broke the embrace, Thea remarked cheerfully, "I'm sure this is one of the reasons why my brother fell in love with you. You just never give up!"

"Felicity Smoak does not dare give up," Lance reiterated, smirking as he glanced her way.

"I think some of Oliver's heroic qualities have rubbed off on me through the years," Felicity responded humbly.

"If you ask me, I think it's the other way around," Laurel complimented her with a wink. She closed the gap between her and her blonde friend and then gave her a warm hug too. "Well, I better get going. DA's office has piles of criminal cases after all the arrests made by the SCPD in that raid a few days ago. Quite a number of them landed on my desk," Laurel said. She started walking towards the elevator with her father, who also took leave and promised to call later.

"Well, I'll just go see Ollie downstairs before I head out to City Hall," Thea told Felicity. "And then I may have to think of another excuse for my brother's absence today. It used to be that tardiness was the only issue his detractors had against him. Now that it's his third day of not showing up, people might start to wonder what's going on with him."

The two women walked towards the elevator together to go back to the med bay.

"Well, what have you been telling them anyway?" Felicity asked. "I'm so sorry I haven't been thoughtful enough to ask about what's been happening in that side of Oliver's life. Things here have been quite stressful. You know?"

Thea pressed the elevator button and answered, "Oh, don't worry about it. I totally understand. And Alex and I have it handled."

The elevator doors opened. They went in and continued talking.

"By 'handled' you mean…?" Felicity inquired, curious of what they've been doing to cover for Oliver.

"Let's just say they think that you and my brother are taking some time off and spending quality time together, leaving me and the Deputy Mayor in charge of the city," Thea replied with a smirk and a hint of mischief on her face.

Felicity rolled her eyes and huffed out, "Thea!"

"What? It's not exactly a lie. You and Ollie have been together 24/7 these past few days. And I'm sure the time you've been spending together has been quality time despite the circumstances. I didn't need to give the details about how that quality time is being spent," Thea reasoned. "Alex bought it, and so did the rest of the staff," she finished her defense with a crisp laugh.

"All right," Felicity responded. She was starting to smile again, seemingly satisfied with Thea's explanation. "Let's just hope the media won't pick up on the mayor's unexpected leave of absence. You know how some of those reporters make mountains out of molehills for a living, like that snoopy lady reporter from Channel 52 who never has anything good to say about the mayor. I don't know exactly what it is that she has against Oliver, but I'm sure she would love to make a case for the mayor taking some personal time off on taxpayer's money, even if it isn't true."

"Don't worry about Susan Williams. Alex can take care of her and the rest of the media," Thea assured Felicity, who simply nodded, knowing how capable Alex Davis is as the head of Oliver's media and public relations staff. The man had done a marvelous job as Oliver's campaign manager, and they both trusted him.

Thea checked up on her brother at the med bay and then left for work at City Hall. Oliver and Felicity counted on her as the mayor's Chief of Staff to take charge of things while he was still indisposed. Thea offered to drop by during lunch hour and bring them food. She also promised to help Felicity bring Oliver home to the Loft at the end of the work day. Diggle went home to check on Sara and the babysitter; he volunteered to pick up the prescription that Dr. Henderson left on his way back. Felicity was left alone with Oliver.

*************************

"You must be hungry," she said, standing beside the metal table where he lay.

"Yeah, and a bit tired," Oliver answered. "The doctor wore me out." He laughed a little.

Felicity could tell he was kidding, and she flashed him the signature smile that had always been meant only for him. She was happy that he wasn't brooding over his predicament.

They spent the next thirty minutes together. Felicity went to the pantry upstairs and heated the cocoa drink, eggs and sausages that Thea and Laurel had brought earlier in the microwave, and then she helped him eat breakfast. Actually, she fed him breakfast. His hands were still quaking and he couldn't really hold the knife and fork steadily enough to feed himself. He tried drinking the cocoa by himself and ended up spilling the hot drink on his chest. They both just laughed about it, but Felicity could see right through his façade. She knew he was ashamed that he couldn't do such a simple thing without help. She knew he didn't want to be a burden to her. As she wiped his mouth, chin, neck, and chest with a clean towel, she noticed how the happy expression on his face faded and fell.

"It's okay, you know…" she told him softly.

"Hmm?" He pretended not to know what she was referring to.

"It's okay to need someone's help," she replied. "I know you're not used to this. There's no need to be embarrassed."

Oliver simply nodded. He turned to where he could see the outline of her face and gave her a small smile. Then he spoke, "Felicity, I… I just don't want to be a bur-"

"You're not a burden. We're partners, right?" Felicity wanted to reassure him of her all-out support as his wife, but she wasn't really sure how to broach the subject of their marriage because they hadn't talked about the status of their relationship yet. It had been easier to bare her heart to him when he was still asleep. So, she settled for the reference to their long-time partnership. She only hoped he got the drift that she also meant it included their marriage.

She put away the empty food container and the hot cocoa cup, and then she helped him drink some water. She was moving to help him lie down comfortably again, but Oliver grabbed her wrist and gently rubbed circles on her forearm with his thumb. Even if his eyes were closed, she sensed that he wanted to tell her something.

"Thank you," he whispered. A genuine smile now showed on his lips. He then opened his eyes and turned to where she was. "I know you said that I'm not a burden, and I believe you. But this… this condition I am in? I… I can't…" He sighed in sheer frustration and closed his eyes again. This time it wasn't because of the glare of the lights in the med bay. It was because he couldn't bear to look at her with the pain gnawing at his heart.

Felicity turned the dimmer switch of the floor lamp beside them to somehow bring relief to his eyes.

"Oliver… I know where you're going with this. Please don't… go there," she told him with fierce determination in her voice. When Oliver kept silent and didn't respond, she went on to say, "You heard the doctor. There is a way around this, through this. I've already spoken to Curtis. He's started working on customizing a chip for you."

"We can't know for sure if it will work," he finally spoke, albeit with less hopefulness than her.

"It worked for me! Don't you want to at least try?"

"We can try. But I can't… I can't ask you… I can't expect you to make sacrifices for my sake, Felicity. Not if the only chance we've got fails. And especially not if this… if I am going to get worse."

She rolled her eyes in disbelief. "And why not?" she protested. She pulled her hand away from his grasp and placed both her hands on her hips just like the many times she had been in arguments with him. "Oliver, I am still your wife! Whatever went on between us these past months..." Felicity's voice faded until she completely went into silent mode.

Just a while ago Felicity wasn't willing for their conversation to go in this direction, at least not yet. She was going to wait for them to have a serious talk until he got better, but she couldn't let him go on thinking this way. Ever since they got together, Oliver had come a long way from his I-can-do-this-on-my-own mindset, but it was the rare yet desperate times like this one that still brought out the stubborn, self-deprecating side of him, which she still did not really appreciate.

Upon hearing what she had just said, Oliver opened his eyes and looked at her. He wanted to see the familiar expression of sincerity on the face of his wife – his wife – but all he could see was the hazy image of her face. Apparently, her words were not enough to assuage his fears and apprehensions, because his response was, "Felicity, you can still have a life. It's not fair for me to keep you-"

"Oh, please Oliver! Don't go melodramatic on me. Not now. And please, not ever again! Will you listen to yourself? Or, you know what? Scratch that. Maybe it's better if you just listen to me." She was getting upset, but not too upset to stop trying to get through to him. Because if there was anything that only Felicity Smoak was good at, it was getting through to Oliver Queen.

"I think it's time to refresh your memory. I've told you long before we were together that I was sure of two things. I still am. One, you are not done fighting. And two, I believe in you. You are going to fight this, and you are going to beat it." She took his hand in hers and squeezed hard. "But you know, because of all these crazy things that have been going on with you… and me… I've come to realize that there's one more thing that I'm absolutely sure of… more than ever before. I love you… with everything that's in me. In case you haven't noticed, I've decided to put this back on." She held up her left hand and showed him the wedding ring on her finger, just few inches from his eyes. "For better or for worse. Remember?"

He did remember. He was the one who had spoken those very words to her after the ambush when she was shot by Darkh's armed goons. He closed his eyes and remembered. She had been the injured one back then, and she had had it worse than the condition he was in now. The doctors had told her that she was never going to walk again. She couldn't even move her legs, and she was going to be stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. She had thought that the reason why he hadn't come to see her in the aftermath of the shooting and her initial surgeries was that he was having second thoughts about marrying her. She had thought that he no longer wanted her because she'd been damaged, but the truth in his heart had been far, far from it. He had purposed in his heart that he was going to love this wonderful woman and care for her for as long as it takes, and he wasn't going to give up on finding a way for her to walk again.

For better or for worse. That was what he had told her as he slipped the engagement ring back into her finger. It hadn't mattered whether or not she could walk. He hadn't cared if he had to bathe her every day, push her wheelchair everywhere, or carry her from one spot to another an infinite number of times. He had been willing to do all that and care for her without complaints. Because he had loved her. Period. And he still loved her. Long before they stood hand in hand before the altar on their wedding day, they had already exchanged vows to be faithful to each other that day in the hospital. For better or for worse.

Oliver realized that she was now the one reassuring him that she'll be sticking around to care for him without complaints. Their relationship had come around full circle. His heart swelled within him, because he also felt that finally… she had forgiven him, that she was willing to commit to making their marriage work once again. If this was the price to pay for this wonderful and undeserved gift, he thought that his gains far outweighed his losses.

"I know I've said this time and again, but Honey, you are truly remarkable," he told her with eyes wide open. "Whatever did I do to deserve you?"

"Thanks, again, for remarking on it," she told him with sparkles in her eyes. "And you're right. You don't deserve me," she paused and raised an eyebrow at him (which he didn't actually notice, thanks to his poor eyesight). "You deserve so much more."

"I love you," Oliver declared sweetly, after which she responded, "I love you, too. I always have. I was just too proud to do something about it sooner, even when I already knew I wanted you back in my life. Turns out I can be just as stubborn as you sometimes, and I'm truly sorry about that." She smiled warmly.

Oliver tugged at her hand and brought it close to his lips to kiss it, but she didn't let him. Instead, she pulled his hand to her breast and bent over. She combed through his hair with her fingers, and when her face was only inches away from his, she whispered again, "For better or for worse. Don't you dare give up on me, Oliver Queen." And then she kissed him with all the passion in her soul. She wanted him to fully understand that she was never ever going to leave him, not even in his current condition. He kissed her back just as eagerly, letting her know that he understood.

***********************

Oliver had fallen asleep later on. Felicity was glad he was finally able to rest. She sat down on a chair and leaned her head against the wall. She, too, fell asleep for about half an hour. When she woke up, she remembered that she hadn't read the journal entry for the day yet. She went to retrieve it from her bag and began to read.

"Love promotes intimacy," Felicity read. "Hmm… interesting," she thought to herself. The more she read, the more her misconceptions of intimacy were straightened out, and her understanding of the concept deepened beyond its physical aspect. She learned that intimacy in a marriage relationship had to do with strengthening her intellectual, emotional, and spiritual bond with her husband. The devotional said that genuine love makes both spouses want to protect that intimate bond. This was why the dare for the day had her decide to guard her husband's most precious secrets (unless of course those were dangerous to himself or to others). She was supposed to demonstrate love in spite of these secrets, and whenever her husband shares a new one or just his personal thoughts and struggles with her, she was supposed to really listen to him and make him feel that his secrets were safe with her.

Felicity couldn't help but recall Oliver's many secrets – the ones he had already confided in her willingly, the ones he had been forced by circumstances to reveal to her, and the ones he still had not shared with her for reasons known only to him. She remembered the night she discovered him bleeding in the backseat of her Mini Cooper and had to reveal his identity as the hooded vigilante. She remembered the times when he shared stories of Lian Yu – of Yao Fei who had first taught him how to survive and fight, of Shado whom he loved for a brief time, of Sara's transformation into the darker side because of Ivo's influence, and even of Slade when they were still good friends. She remembered the troubling memories of his time in Hong Kong working half-heartedly for Amanda Waller, and in Russia where he had almost sold his soul to the devil in the hands of the Bratva. She remembered how he survived Nanda Parbat in the clutches of the Demon's Head.

She also remembered the secrets his family kept – Moira's involvement with the Undertaking and her illicit love affair with Malcolm Merlyn that brought Thea into this world; Robert's illegal activities and connections with corrupt businessmen and politicians, which he had obliged his only son to fix at the expense of his son's safety, and which had also cost him his life when the Gambit had sunk; and Thea's struggle with blood lust after being revived by the Lazarus Pit. She then wondered if keeping secrets was something genetic or hereditary and found that quite amusing.

Her amusement didn't last long, however, because her musing led her to William, Oliver's son from a one night stand with Samantha Clayton. To her, that had been the mother of all his secrets, the one that almost cost them their marriage. That secret hurt her the most, not because he kept it from her, but because he lied to her about it. It was like a dagger stab in the back. She had never thought she would heal from that wound, but she knew that as the days went by, she was recovering from it since the day she released forgiveness during that dinner at the Italian restaurant. And if she was going to love her husband the way the journal described true love promotes intimacy, then she was going to have to not only keep his secrets, but also live with them and move forward in spite of them. She had read somewhere in the previous pages of the journal that love is unconditional, and she was determined to put it to practice. She was discovering, slowly but surely, that recovering from a broken heart was still so much better with Oliver than without him in her life.

Felicity closed the journal and placed it on her lap. She decided she was going to do it. She was willing to continue keeping his secrets, including the ones he would eventually tell her when he saw fit, and especially the ones that were absolutely necessary to keep him safe from harm.

"Oh, Oliver…" She whispered while looking at him sleeping from across the room. A smile began to push the corners of her lips upward at the thought that she was married to a man who kept secrets for a living. She chuckled, thinking that they might make it to the Guinness Book of World Records as the couple with the most number of incredible secrets to tell.

*************************

Diggle returned after Felicity pondered upon the things she had read from the journal. She had been so deep in thought that she didn't notice time had passed her by. Diggle prepared the medicine and then infused it into Oliver's IV as Felicity watched. Their movements, however stealthy and quiet, woke Oliver because, of course, he had unbelievably excellent ninja skills.

Thea arrived at quarter to 12:00, and she brought not only lunch but also some very disturbing news. She told them that somehow the media got wind of the fact that the mayor had been absent for three consecutive work days, not counting the weekend. She and Alex are still trying to determine how the information leaked to the press because they trusted everyone on Oliver's staff. What was worse, was that certain prominent gossip reporters and tabloid writers had started to circulate rumors that the mayor's absences were due to an illness that might be – as Thea quoted from one reporter, "serious and controversial enough for the Mayor's Office to be keeping secrets from the tax-paying public who deserved to know whether or not the city's highest, elected public official was fit to serve them" – end of quote.

Secrets. It's that word again.

Felicity gritted her teeth in irritation. She immediately turned on her tablet to verify Thea's news and the extent to which fact and fiction had spread on the Internet and other media all morning. To her dismay and disgust, they were already all over the news and the gossip sites. She decided to go upstairs and run the program to investigate further and try to trace the leak back to its source. Thea went with her, leaving Diggle with Oliver. Diggle said he'd be the one to help Oliver eat lunch. Felicity started to work on her programs and totally forgot all about hers; fortunately, her stomach refused to grumble.

Before it was time for Thea to head back to City Hall, Felicity already had answers. She found out that the information about Oliver's consecutive absences had indeed come from the Office of the Mayor, but that was only due to an official statement that one of Alex's junior staff members had issued first thing that Monday morning about the Deputy Mayor and the Chief of Staff taking charge of the city while the mayor was on an indefinite leave. When she followed the online activities of all the reporters who had been on Alex's list for the press briefing earlier – hacking some sites when she needed to – she discovered that Channel 52's Susan Williams had received an anonymous tip via email at about 10:00 a.m. For Felicity Smoak, however, there was no such thing as an anonymous email. She hacked into the account and uncovered the identity of the tipper as a certain Ms. Kay Kinnel, whom Felicity immediately recognized as the receptionist at the fertility clinic that she and Oliver went to. She was mad as hell.

But that wasn't all.

Kinnel's email had hinted that Mayor Queen's marriage may be on the rocks and speculated that it might soon end up in divorce. Kinnel claimed to have personal knowledge that he and his wife had been separately consulting with a certain fertility specialist, and that recently, the clinic had been running confidential tests on Mayor Queen for "something big" that she can find documentation for… for the right price. The reply email from Channel 52 revealed that the network intended to pay the woman a handsome sum for the information she shared – 50% to be deposited into her account on the same day, and another 50% when she sends them concrete and verifiable evidence of the state of the mayor's health and marriage.

The team was dismayed and troubled at the news. They were convinced that Dr. Henderson had no knowledge of what his employee had done, and true enough, the good doctor was shocked when Felicity called him and told him the news. Henderson promised to reprimand, fire, and sue Ms. Kinnel ASAP for breach of the confidentiality clause in her employment contract. He also gave his word that the woman was not going to be able to get her hands on any document or evidence that would jeopardize Mayor Queen's privacy. Felicity and Oliver thanked him for his integrity and for what he promised to do to protect Oliver's privacy.

The team also discussed damage control. Thea was concerned about how they were going to put out the fire before it got way out of hand. She quickly proposed to Oliver that she would have Alex issue an official statement in time for the evening news confirming the mayor's absences and denying the rumors behind them. She wanted to go with the "spending quality time with his wife" angle to justify his absences from City Hall since Thursday. Felicity, however, thought differently. While she agreed with the idea of confirming the mayor's absences because Alex's staff had already issued a similar statement earlier that day, she didn't think it was going to make a difference to deny the rumors since they weren't entirely false.

Felicity thought that there was a pretty good chance that Susan Williams would not let up on the opportunity to dig up more dirt against the mayor and fabricate a scandalous story because the woman had a track record of benefiting from the payroll of certain corrupt politicians. The lady reporter already had the email address of Kinnel, and with some technical assistance from free lance IT experts who made a living out of hacking (like Felicity, but not exactly as good as her, she added), it was only a matter of time before Williams figures out the connection between the anonymous tipper and the clinic she works at, and then it will all go downhill for them from there. They could hack his medical records and discover not only his fertility test results but also the tests that Henderson had been running in his lab for Oliver's Vertigo exposure. Williams might misconstrue the information and write a story that made him out to be a Vertigo user, or worse, an addict. Obviously, when that happens, it would be impossible to deny the allegations because that would mean justifying his exposure to the illegal drug by outing his identity as the Green Arrow who actually fought to save the city from the illegal drug syndicate.

Oliver concurred with Felicity, and even more so because he didn't want to jeopardize the credibility and reputation of Dr. Henderson as a licensed physician.

At first, Diggle fervidly opposed the idea, but when he followed the logic behind Felicity's and Oliver's arguments, he too finally agreed with the course of action they wanted to take.

Felicity reiterated that the priority was to keep Oliver's secrets safe – the most important one being his identity as the Green Arrow – and she felt that the best way to do that was to give up at least one of his other secrets, namely, the one that he shared with her as his wife. She thought that the wisest move was to come out with the truth that they both have been consulting at the clinic because of their long-standing desire to conceive, and that their inability to do so had led Oliver to consider receiving fertility therapy and treatments. She felt that this was the safest secret to share with Oliver's constituents. It would also be consistent with the previously released statement that Mayor Queen had taken leave to spend quality time with his wife. They could just tell the media that that time was being spent for fertility work-ups.

Thea liked the idea of telling the truth to some degree, arguing that it may even earn the sympathy of the people of Star City and quell the fast-spreading gossip that their marriage was in trouble. She was sure that Alex and his staff can work out something for the media without having to talk about the mayor's virility or impotence. (Thea got a kick out of that and teased her brother until she got him frowning.)

The team finally agreed on the course of action, and Thea went back to City Hall to meet with Alex about the statement that the Mayor's Office will release for the 6:00 news. She hoped to be back in time to help Felicity and Diggle bring Oliver home to the Loft. Meanwhile, Felicity cleaned up the web from undesirable data in some sites that most likely put their plan of action at risk.

************************

By 6:00 Oliver was already listening to the news on TV in his bedroom at the Loft, still hooked up to the IV with the medicine to flush out the Vertigo from his body completely. Felicity knocked at his door, bringing him dinner (which was Chinese take-out on a tray). She came just in time to watch the pre-recorded official statement given by Alex Davis from the press room of City Hall. They were glad that Susan Williams was replaced by a different reporter who was assigned to cover the press release for Channel 52. They were both satisfied with the outcome of their decision, especially upon hearing the man-on-the-street interviews with civilians who expressed sympathy and support for the mayor and his wife, two of which were middle-aged women who even wished the couple well concerning their efforts at having a child.

It had been quite a manic Monday, but Felicity was happy. In the midst of all the bad news they had received, she had been able to fulfill the day's dare quite successfully.

She was about to pick up his dinner tray when Oliver reached for her hand and smiled at her with eyes closed. He thanked her for everything, most especially for coming up with the best possible alternative to keep his secrets safe. This time, it was her turn to say to him, "You never have to thank me, Oliver."

Felicity stood up, stooped low, and kissed him on the crown of his head. And then she cringed, made a face, and said, "Oh, my dear Mr. Mayor! You sure could use a nice bath tomorrow. Oliver, you stink!" She laughed and added, "And that is another secret of yours that I would much rather keep."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, it would be great to hear from you.


	17. Dare Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity and Oliver enjoy taking up dares while waiting for developments on his physical condition. We pick up the pace of the story in this chapter that covers four days, with a lot of talk, a lot of fluff, and a lot of love. Donna Smoak reappears, and a new minor character is introduced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next part of our story. I know you will forgive me for the week-long delay, because you understand that I have a life to live, a job (jobs, actually) to keep, and a family to attend to. :-) This is another lengthy chapter (longer than the previous one), and I hope it makes up for the extended wait. I hope you like it... and take the time to let me know. Enjoy!
> 
> This one is for Chaosti, who always encourages me through her constructive comments. Thanks, friend!

Day 29

It was truly a miracle, and Oliver couldn't believe it! No, it wasn't that he had gotten his 20/20 vision back or that the tremors in his upper extremities had stopped. He was amused and amazed that he woke up seeing what looked like a meticulously set TV tray beside his bed, and on it was what smelled like a sumptuous serving of his favorite kind of omelet garnished with fresh parsley. Felicity had cooked him breakfast! And it didn't smell like or look like it had been burned or overcooked. He was proud of her, and touched by her act of kindness.

He understood perfectly that kitchen duty was not one of his wife's strengths. He hadn't minded, and he still didn't. Not really. Oh, there had been times (especially when he was stressed and grouchy) when he had murmured about her clumsiness in the kitchen or griped about her inability to help out significantly in the cooking department, but in general, he hadn't expected a lot from Felicity in that aspect of their relationship way back in their Ivy Town days. He was aware that this had been one of her "issues." She had stopped trying altogether since they got married. He had assured her that it wasn't a big deal to him and that he stilled loved her the way she was – more than once telling her that she was worth more to him than a million scrumptious dinners while peppering her face with kisses. He had instead encouraged her to keep growing and honing her technical skills and her knack for management and leadership.

That morning, however, Oliver was more than pleased that she had outdone herself. When he complimented her for accomplishing a breakthrough breakfast feat, she laughed, and then confessed that she had wasted almost two dozens of eggs before she had gotten it right, just the way she remembered he liked his omelet. That made him even prouder, because taking that much time in the kitchen meant that she must have gotten up a lot earlier than she normally does.

"Come here," Oliver said to her, reaching for her with an extended arm as he sat leaning against the headboard of what used to be their bed. She approached him and took his outstretched hand in hers. "Thanks for getting up to make this. I'm really proud of you," he complimented her again, pulling her towards him as she sat on the bed beside him. He was going to give her a kiss on her temple, but she moved away.

"Oliver, I smell like onions and green bell peppers! Let me shower first," she objected.

"You know I love onions and bell peppers," he teased. Had his vision been clearer, he would have easily noticed the blush that spread quickly like wildfire on her neck and face. He tugged at her hand again and brought it close to his lips. After kissing the back of her hand, he let her palm cradle his scruffy jaw line. He savored her soft skin; she let his overgrown beard prick and tickle her palm. "Hmm…" he groaned with a soft, low voice, "You do smell like onions and bell peppers." She swiftly pulled her hand away from his grip and slapped him hard on his upper arm.

"Ow! That hurts!" he yelled. The faux frown on his handsome face was less than convincing. She, of course, knew that it would take more than a slap on his limbs to hurt the hero of Star City.

"Seriously, thank you, Felicity," he said to her affectionately after a brief moment of inept silence passed between them.

She flashed him the smile that always melted his heart. She responded, "Don't thank me yet, Mayor Queen. I still have to feed you breakfast." She winked at him and lightly chuckled.

They watched the morning news while she helped him eat and drink. Well, it was more like she watched, and he listened. He told her that his vision seemed to have improved slightly, and that the glare of the sunlight coming in through the glass windows didn't hurt his eyes as much. Nevertheless, everything around him was still hazy, including her. He admitted he felt bad that he couldn't see her pretty face very well, even if he knew she still had no make-up on. At the risk of being called cheesy, he told her that he missed staring at her, but that he was glad he had memorized every inch of her face such that he could visualize it in his mind with his eyes closed. She simply lowered her head and looked away, as if she needed to hide her embarrassment over that sweet, sweet line that he had just dropped on her.

When Oliver was done with breakfast, Felicity told him that she was going to bring the food tray back to the kitchen, clean up, and then take a quick shower downstairs. "Take your time. I'm not going anywhere," he said to her with a smile, even if he could barely see the expression on her face from across the room as she stood near the doorway.

Nearly an hour later, Felicity returned looking and smelling fresh. She started pulling out his clothes from the dresser and the closet and hanging them on her left arm. "I see things are still where they used to be. Nothing much has changed," she remarked while looking for his favorite dark blue microfiber towel. Oliver was going to reply, "Yeah, everything's right where they ought to be. You're the only one that's been missing around here," but he relented. He didn't think she was ready to hear something like that. He thought it wise to take things in stride and to avoid putting pressure on her when it came to their relationship. Building trust and intimacy would take time, he thought.

When she emerged from the bathroom, she said cheerfully, "It's time for your bath, Mr. Queen. Warm water is running, and the tub is almost ready."

"The tub, huh?" Oliver smiled delightfully.

"Yeah. I figured it would be easier for you to bathe by yourself if you were sitting," Felicity began to explain. "I… I hope…" She spoke tentatively at first, but then she gathered up the courage to continue. She cleared her throat and clarified, "I hope you don't mind bathing yourself? I'm all for helping you with everything you need, but I think that me being alone with naked you… is not really a good idea at this point. At least, not yet."

"Felicity…" Oliver began to reply, "I understand. Perfectly. If you're not yet comfortable… It's fine."

"Okay. Let me help you up," she said with a small smile.

With her assistance, Oliver got up from the bed and managed to walk slowly to the bathroom. She disconnected him from the IV line and helped him strip down to his boxers.

She put his shampoo and soap in a caddy on the tiled edge of the tub and helped him sit on that edge. But then she remembered something. "Did you want to shave before bathing? Your beard kind of…" Her voice trailed off as she pointed to his facial hair that hadn't been trimmed in over a week.

Oliver was sitting quite precariously on the edge of the tub with his eyes closed, but he managed to smile at the thoughtfulness of his wife. "That would be nice," he said. "But I would be needing some help. My hands… The shaking…" he added.

"Sure, no problem," Felicity responded and immediately began preparing his razor and foaming shaving cream.

Oliver couldn't have done the menial task of shaving his beard without her help. The same could be said of Felicity; she had watched him shave countless times before, but she had never done it herself. So they did it together, his hands guiding hers across his jaw line and down his cheeks. That felt good, and the feeling was mutual. The task took longer than it normally did for any man, but that was because it had turned into a foam fight just about the time she was almost done wiping off the remnants of the white stuff from his face. She didn't mind having it on her hair and on her clothes too, as long as she got even with him. Her best and last attempt sent him splashing into the tub, getting herself all wet in the process as she squealed like a cute little two-year-old.

"I guess this means it's bath time at last," Felicity managed to say in between giggles. "I win!"

"You do not!" Oliver protested as he grabbed her by the wrist of the hand that was still holding on to the edge of the tub. He was about to yank her into the tub when she yelled a threat, "Don't you dare!" He didn't exactly see clearly the sharp glare that matched her loud voice, which was more than enough to cause him to relent from his mischievous plan. He released his grip on her wrist, but used his other hand to splatter soapy water on her face, causing her to shriek. "Now we're even," he said with a snort.

They teased each other a couple of more times until she got him settled in the tub, making sure he had everything he needed for a nice, relaxing bath. When he assured her that he can already manage by himself, she toweled off and left, giving him the privacy he needed.

Felicity wasn't quite sure, though, which one of them needed the privacy more. She actually sighed in relief as soon as she closed the bathroom door behind her. Seeing Oliver in just his boxers not only brought back a plethora of vivid mental images that she thought were inappropriate given the situation; it also stirred up emotions and desires that she wasn't ready to indulge at the moment. She knew that the right moment would come, and she was glad that she still had time to prepare herself mentally, emotionally, and physically for it. They were, after all, a married couple seeking to rekindle the flame of their relationship. But right now, her husband needed her help just to be able to move about and function, and she didn't need to be distracted. Not like the way she was distracted just minutes ago when he removed his boxer shorts after he fell into the tub and handed it to her to wring and hang on the towel rack.

She snapped out of her thoughts when she heard the doorbell ring, not once, but thrice. "Just a minute!" she hollered from the second floor of the loft. The voice that acknowledged her was all too familiar. "It's me, baby girl! Open up!" It was her mother, Donna Smoak.

******************************

Donna Smoak was a woman of action. And words. That sprang forth from her mouth as forcefully and as perennially as the raging waters of the Niagara. She had watched the news about the mayor and his wife the night before and had made up her mind halfway through the story that she was going to see them first thing in the morning. At her age, she knew that you couldn't really believe everything they say on the news, and she wanted the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth from the mouth of her own daughter.

She had known about their fertility problems and had been privy, in general, to the marital issues and conflicts that threatened to end their marriage. She had comforted Felicity when her daughter bolted out of the loft and crashed at her place for three weeks upon discovering Oliver's deceptive secret about his son. She had also had a good talk with Oliver over lunch and encouraged him not to give up on their relationship. But she wondered why Felicity hadn't told her that Oliver had finally started consulting with fertility specialists and why her daughter hadn't updated her about the status of their marriage. She didn't want to intrude, but she did want to know, simply because she cared for them both.

Mother and daughter hugged and then started a conversation in the living room. First, Felicity confirmed that Oliver had indeed been consulting with Dr. Henderson at the clinic. She also confirmed that he had taken time off from work at City Hall to pursue fertility treatment and to recuperate from an illness that was "affecting his vision, among other things" – the details of which she said she wasn't willing to disclose, nor was she at liberty to do so at the moment. Surprisingly for Felicity, Donna respected that, and she expressed her appreciation for her mother's understanding. She also assured Donna that Oliver's medical condition was nowhere near terminal, because she knew she had inherited a wild and exaggerated imagination from her mother, and she did not want her mom to worry too much.

Their conversation veered away from Oliver's health when Donna asked about their relationship. Donna specifically made it clear that she didn't mean to pry, but she told Felicity that she did want to know because she loved them both. Surprisingly for Donna, Felicity understood and made herself vulnerable, opening up to her mother about her regrets and recent realizations, about how she'd begun to recognize that she was just as much to blame as her husband – not for the lie, because that was certainly all on Oliver, but for them drifting far apart like they did, even before the lie came out. She talked about her decision to give their marriage another chance. Donna was beyond thrilled; she was ecstatic, babbling about how she was so sure that her genius of a daughter and her gorgeous son-in-law were definitely going to hit the jackpot this time around and make beautiful blonde babies that would make grandma and the rest of Star City proud. Felicity would have rolled her eyes in exasperation as usual, but she didn't. For once, she found joy in getting caught up with the rapture that exuded from the veteran Vegas lady that had raised her, had made countless sacrifices for her sake, and had only and always wanted the best for her. She let her mother bask in excitement and delight over an imagined yet hopeful future for her marriage and her family.

When Donna calmed down finally, she let her hand rest on her daughter's knee. "I'm just so happy for you, sweetheart. I've always wanted you to be happy, to have a good life, one that's so much better than mine."

"Thanks, mom," Felicity responded, placing her hand on her mother's hand that was on her knee.

"And I truly wish you all the best… I mean, with Oliver. I know what he did hurt you tremendously. I can tell you that I know exactly how it feels to be lied to… by the man you've sworn to be faithful to for as long as you both shall live," Donna expressed. "Your father… Noah lied to me… over and over again. The day he… the day we left him… that was the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my life. But I couldn't stand one more lie. The next one would have been the death of me, and I didn't want you to suffer the way I did. You were still so young and I couldn't stand the thought of his lies destroying your future."

Donna stopped talking for a while. She wiped a tear that had fallen from the corner of one eye before more tears destroyed her make-up, and then she continued after a few sniffles. "I would have reconsidered, you know? I mean, with your father. If only I had seen even just a glimmer of hope in his eyes telling me that he wanted to change, or at least, wanted to try to change… if only I had seen even just a tiny spark of the love he had for me when we first met… But there wasn't. Not like the light I see shining in Oliver's eyes every time he looks at you… or thinks of you. It's quite magical, really." She paused and smiled wistfully at her daughter. "I saw it in his eyes even when your marriage was already in trouble. And that day when he asked to meet and we had lunch, I could still see the love he has for you in those beautiful blues of his, and I knew-"

Donna's heartfelt ramblings were interrupted by a pleasantly surprised Felicity. "Wait, what? You two had a lunch date I didn't know about? When was this?" Felicity asked one question after another in the speed of light, curiosity written all over face.

"Yeah, a few weeks ago, actually," Donna answered, still smiling. "Oliver called me and said he wanted to talk, so I met him at Luigi's. He told me that he still wanted to keep trying to make your marriage work. He told me that he wanted to know more about how you grew up, about how the absence of your father for the most part of your life had affected you, and about how you coped with all that. He wanted so much to understand you. He wanted to understand where you were coming from, and why it wasn't easy for you to forgive him for what he'd done even if he had begged you to… multiple times. We talked for hours, Felicity. Hours! I didn't know the man was capable of talking for more than five minutes! That was when I knew for sure that despite his foolish choices, Oliver truly loves you, and he will do whatever it takes to win you back."

"Oh, mom…" Felicity sighed. "Why didn't you tell me this before? I would have-"

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. But I thought you weren't ready to hear any of it at the time," Donna replied. "You were still pretty much… upset… not to mention, angry. When we met over lunch, Oliver told me that just a couple of days before that, you had confronted him about why he'd been doing some thoughtful things for you, and that when he had expressed that he still loved you and asked for another chance, you turned him down. He said that you told him to let you go because he broke both your trust and your heart with his stupid lie. If I had spoken up then, sweetie, I… I'm pretty sure you would have been mad at me too. You wouldn't have taken any of this as well as you are taking it right now."

Felicity bowed her head and stared at their joined hands. She remembered that day when he had whipped up a hearty breakfast and a delicious dinner for her – both of which she had skipped because she spurned his reconciliatory gestures. And now she regretted that night when she told him to let her go and learn to un-love her. She had said that she wasn't sure if she was ever going to be capable of loving him back, and that she wasn't sure she even wanted to. Now she realized and admitted that she didn't mean some of the words that had spewed out of her mouth. In part, she had been able to confront him rightfully about his dishonesty and the pain it had caused her, but for the rest of her indignant speech, she was just venting because she was deeply hurt.

"Oliver…" Felicity whispered as a teardrop fell on the back of her hand and slid down to her mother's.

Lies hurt. But so did guilt and regret. And at that very moment, Felicity was hurt again. It hurt to realize that, while Oliver had broken her heart with his dishonesty, she had broken his heart, too, with her unwillingness to forgive. Her brilliant brain was putting the puzzle pieces together, uncovering more of the loving acts of service that her husband had been rendering to win her back. It was then that her mother added one more revelation that drove the blunt nail of regret all the way home.

"Oliver called me the day after, you know," Donna spoke, picking up from where she had left off, "to thank me for an enlightening talk. He said it helped him put things into perspective. He also mentioned that hearing Noah's side of the story also helped him understand you more. Apparently, he had gone to visit your father at Iron Heights the afternoon after our lunch date."

That did it. Felicity broke down in tears. She fell into her mother's arms, sobbing like she had when she was seven after finding out that her father was never coming back. Her chest felt like it was about to burst. Her eyes burned with hot tears. She didn't even notice that her fingernails were digging into her mother's back as she clung to Donna like a reprimanded child that admitted guilt and accepted the consequences of being mean to someone else. Because she realized at that moment how bitterly cruel she had been to her own husband by trying to get even with him in subtle ways since she found out about William. Actually, when she thought about it, she had started carrying her bitterness baggage even before Oliver's secret was out; she traced it back to when she couldn't convince him to see Dr. Henderson and began to feel like her husband was apathetic about having children with her. Felicity realized that she owed Oliver an apology for spurning his loving, humble acts of repentance that were meant to honor the vow they had made to each other the day they got married.

"I'm sorry," she whispered in between sobs. She knew that Oliver was the one who needed to hear those two simple yet meaningful words, but she just had to get them out of her chest. Her mother comforted her and shushed her quiet until she calmed down.

"I do think that someone else needs to hear this apology," Donna said, as if she had read her daughter's mind. Felicity simply nodded affirmatively. She was going to find the right time to do it.

"You've got yourself a prized catch there, baby girl," Donna told Felicity, cocking her chin upwards in the direction of where Oliver was upstairs. "Don't you ever make the mistake of letting that one go. Ever! He loves you so much. I believe he's willing to do anything in his power to care for you and protect you."

"You have no idea," Felicity replied, but only in her thoughts. Her mother was completely clueless about their nightly activities as the city's protector, as her protector. She smiled as the last tear escaped her eye, recalling all those times when Oliver had put his life on the line for her or risked everything else just to rescue her from the clutches of vile villains.

"He's not perfect," Donna went on to say, "but he's trying his best to prove to you how much he loves you. Give him a chance, will you? After all, Oliver is not your dad."

"I know that now, Mom," Felicity answered. "And I think I need to let go not just of the hurt he had caused, but also of the hang-ups and trauma that Dad had caused in my life. Maybe the reason that I find it hard to forgive and trust someone else who has failed me is that I haven't truly forgiven. I haven't truly given my own father a chance." Realizations were flooding her mind and heart, and her mouth could not keep up with them. She was beginning to babble. "I mean, I've always wondered what it is about the men in my life. I can't keep relating with my husband the way I would with my absentee father. I can't doubt Oliver's capacity to change just because Cooper couldn't. I think that this is something I need to deal with… if I want to love Oliver unconditionally. Come to think of it, how can I expect to raise our child – or children – and teach them how to respect and obey their father if I can't do that with mine? How can I teach them to trust their dad if I don't show them that I'm willing to trust my own husband even if he's not perfect?"

Felicity instantly remembered what she had read from the Love Dares journal early that morning before preparing breakfast. "Love forsakes all others," the day's entry had said. The Scripture text was all about "leaving and cleaving" – how crucial it was for spouses to leave their own families to start one of their own for a marriage to truly work. The devotional went on to say that "leaving" wasn't really just a matter of physical distance as it is a matter of independence, of learning how to build a marriage and a new family without relying on either or both of the spouses' parents for emotional support and financial stability. While reading and pondering, Felicity had thought that this wasn't really a problem with either her or Oliver. They both had learned early on in life to stand on their own feet; they had enjoyed their life together, independent from their parents, perhaps because they had no choice, or perhaps because they didn't expect much from their biological parents, who were not exactly credible role models when it came to lasting relationships.

It was the "cleaving" part, however, that had gotten Felicity to thinking more profoundly. The devotional had said that spouses should not let any person, any thing, any circumstance, or any trouble keep them apart. She had smiled at the illustration given in the journal of two sheets of paper that are glued to each other permanently such that both sheets would tear beyond mending if anyone tried to pull them apart. But she also had to admit that she and Oliver had not done a good job at staying glued to each other. He had taken her for granted and broken her trust; she had resented him over failed expectations and then refused to forgive when he had apologized for his lie and clearly shown himself repentant. Felicity thought that maybe cleaving had been difficult for her because she had left something undone with the leaving part: she hadn't let go of the disillusionment due to her father's abandonment of her and her mother, and all the pain and misery that went with it. "Is there a 'leaving and cleaving' issue that you haven't been brave enough to conquer yet?" That was the poignant question that concluded the devotional portion of the journal's entry that morning, and her answer to that question had confirmed her analysis of her predicament.

For the day's dare Felicity was supposed to confess any leaving-and-cleaving issue in her life to her husband and then resolve to make it right, because the oneness of their marriage depended on it. She was expected to follow through with a commitment to make the marriage her top priority over her other human relationships, forsaking all others to cling to her husband like superglue. She meant to do it, after she had gotten Oliver fed and washed up, but then her mother had come. And now, she thought of another important step that she needed to take to finally leave her past behind and move on, to purposefully cleave to the man she loved like her life depended on it. She thought it was a good idea to go see her father later that day when Thea arrived at the loft; her sister-in-law would understand.

Felicity did get to visit her father at Iron Heights Prison. When she left almost an hour after conversing with Noah Kuttler, she left behind not only the three big words "I forgive you," but also the resentment she had bottled up all those years against the man she had blamed for ruining her young life, the man who was responsible for the emotional and psychological suffering she endured in her formative years. Soundproofed glass had separated the palms of their hands, but she was convinced that they had somehow found a connection – the forgiver with the forgiven. Not a tear had fallen from her eyes, but the burden she had borne for nearly two decades had been lifted from her worn-out shoulders. She exited the prison gates, released from her own emotional and psychological incarceration. She came home ready to once more open up her life to the man who loved her more than anything, ready to trust him again with her heart, and ready to cleave to him – fiercely and stubbornly – for the rest of her life.

When Felicity returned to the loft, Thea left for a dinner date with Alex. Oliver was resting, fast asleep in the bedroom and still hooked up to the IV. She took the opportunity to collect her things from the guest room and return them to their bedroom, one quiet trip up and down the stairs at a time. She meant to cleave to the love of her life with all her might, and she figured that taking it literally was the best place to start. She might have shed a tear or two as she cleared the guest room of the last few pieces of clothing and trinkets she owned, heaving a sigh as she finally closed the door behind her and joined her husband in their haven.

When she was done fixing her closet and her drawers as silently as possible, she lay down beside Oliver for a nap, turning to her left side to face him. She gazed at every inch of his lovely face, lingering longer on his pillow-mountain lips, and then she leaned forward and kissed him lightly on those lips, whispering "I love you," before she closed her eyes to rest. The talk would have to wait another time.

Oliver woke up half an hour later, pleased and satisfied to find his wife's arm draped across his chest, her head nestling in the curve of his neck and shoulder. He looked at her adoringly for a moment and then fell right back to sleep.

Day 30

"Love finds a way," Felicity read from the journal as she waited for the washer to finish the first cycle of laundry. The devotional said that love is expressed not only in words, but more importantly through actions that will never run out, not even in the direst situations. Love will never give up. It will keep fighting. It will keep searching for ways to be expressed concretely. It will always try to find a way even when the prospects are bleak. It must have been providential for her to read that particular journal entry that morning because it had prepared her for the next test that she had to face.

At mid-day Curtis called and informed her that the bio-stimulator chip he had been working on for Oliver's spine was almost ready. Felicity immediately called Dr. Henderson. She asked him if he would be willing to perform the surgery to implant the chip on Oliver's spine, but the doctor refused for the logical reason that his surgical expertise included only the reproductive system. Henderson expressed his willingness to help them any way he can, even to the point of risking being charged with medical malpractice for performing a surgery that was beyond his field of specialization, if someone reported it to the proper authorities. However, he clarified that he wasn't willing to risk making a dangerous mistake that might cause more damage to Oliver's body; one particular consequence he feared was causing permanent paralysis. Felicity thanked him for his honesty and straightforwardness, as well as for his willingness to help, but she was very discouraged by the time she hung up.

Palmer Tech's board members were totally on board with her special project of testing the technology on another willing yet anonymous patient. Curtis had been working overtime in the last two days to get the miracle chip ready, and now it was. But who would do the surgical implant procedure? If it wasn't going to be Henderson, it goes without saying that another stranger would have to find out about the mayor's alter ego and about the true state of his health.

Felicity brought up the matter with Oliver because it was his secret identity that was at risk in the first place. It was his secret to tell, and she thought it was responsible to let him know and to get his input about a plausible course of action. Unfortunately, Oliver had none. He trusted Henderson. He didn't trust any other doctor, and he wasn't sure yet if he was willing to trust another. But Felicity wouldn't give up. She knew she needed to find a way.

She was quietly washing the dishes after lunch when the idea came to her.

As soon as she finished up in the kitchen, she got to work on her tablet, running searches and investigating the background of the neurosurgeon that had implanted the chip on her spine. When she was satisfied with the data that she found, she got back to her husband with an idea. With the information she had gathered, Oliver didn't need a lot of convincing.

Dr. Ravi Kumar had not only finished medical training at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine in Baltimore, Maryland, but also had some years of experience in neurosurgery at the Johns Hopkins Medical Center before starting his practice in Star City. Dr. Kumar had no family and had spent much of his professional life doing volunteer charity work for indigents in the city needing medical aid. Kumar had no criminal record, and more importantly, he would most likely be sympathetic to the cause that Team Arrow had been fighting for, because he was himself a hero in his own right. Fresh from medical school and basic military training, Kumar had served as an army doctor during the war in Chechnya and Bosnia during the Clinton administration. There he had saved the lives of soldiers countless times and was even awarded a medal for risking his life while caught in crossfire in order to save a wounded officer in an ambush by rebels. When troops were pulled out, he had decided to leave the army and pursue further training to serve civilians as a private physician this time, even on volunteer capacity if need be. Kumar had gone back to Johns Hopkins, specialized in neurosurgery, and later became one of the most sought after neurosurgeons in the West Coast, which was why Palmer Tech had contracted his services for the chip implant on Felicity's spine before. Kumar was an expert in his medical field and had the integrity of a loyal soldier, and Felicity was impressed.

Love finds a way. Felicity remembered the dare for the day. The journal challenged her to go beyond saying loving words and actually do something tangible and concrete to demonstrate her love for her spouse. It said that she could even get someone to help out if she had to. Hence, Felicity contacted Dr. Kumar and arranged a meeting with him that night in a secure location. The doctor immediately recognized her and agreed to the covert rendezvous at the old foundry. Felicity arrived, accompanied by John Diggle, who had insisted on coming with her so that he could personally size up the former military doctor, who was about to find out the secret identity of his friend and brother.

Felicity blew out a mouthful of air in relief as soon as the doctor left the foundry at the end of the meeting, and she was alone with Diggle. Mission accomplished. Kumar had agreed to perform the surgery in one of the ORs of Henderson's state-of-the-art fertility clinic, which also had the proper government permits as a tertiary facility. He had also agreed to keep Oliver's identity confidential.

Felicity had hoped that Kumar wouldn't care to ask why the mayor of Star City needed to have a bio-stimulator chip implanted into his spine, but the doctor was a smart and prudent man who wanted to know exactly what he was getting into, so she had to tell him just enough information about Oliver having been injured in action as the Green Arrow during a Vertigo drug raid set up by the SCPD. Kumar had been elated to learn that he would be helping the legendary masked vigilante, and in turn, helping the people of Star City as well. He even figured out the connection between the shooting that had caused Felicity's spinal injury and her involvement with the Green Arrow's vigilantism to save the city from dangerous criminals. Kumar assured them of his 100% support and swore himself to secrecy. Consequently, Oliver's surgery was set for Sunday when the clinic would be closed to other patients.

Felicity returned to the loft that Wednesday night with a huge smile on her face, excitedly telling Oliver that everything had been arranged. She rubbed a palm up and down his arm, reassuring him of the surgeon's credibility and integrity, and that everything would be okay. She told him not to worry and to focus on getting stronger in the next four days to be ready for the operation. She laughed when Oliver teased her, saying that he would undoubtedly recover because he was under the care of the most gorgeous, most attractive, and most conscientious nurse ever. She swatted his arm, making him wince a little, but then she leaned down and kissed his forehead and then his nose, before he pulled her closer for a peck on the lips.

Later that night, they fell asleep in each other's embrace, whispering tender words of comfort and hope that the surgical procedure to be performed on him would be successful just as it had been on her.

Day 31

Oliver's condition improved in the days that followed. On the thirty-first day of the Love Dares challenge, Henderson came to check on Oliver on his way to the clinic that morning and found that his vitals were not only stable but going strong. The tremors in his hands were still visible but not as pronounced as before. His vision showed signs of improvement, too, though still blurry. He could now tolerate brightness to some degree without it giving him headaches. The intravenous hydration and medication had done its job and was no longer needed.

Henderson instructed Felicity to take him off the IV and just continue with oral hydration. The doctor wanted to observe the rest of his recuperation and told them that he would be visiting again prior to surgery to do vitals screening and to prep him for the major procedure that was set in three days. He also promised Oliver that he would be there in the OR throughout the procedure, assisting Dr. Kumar and helping to do everything to ensure his safety and the success of the surgery.

Oliver thanked the doctor for all his help, support, and encouragement. After the doctor left, Oliver also gave Felicity a nice, warm hug and an extended morning cuddle, expressing how grateful he was to have her in his life. He thanked her for staying with him despite his mistakes, in spite of all the pain he'd caused her. He told her that, while he was willing to suffer the after-effects of an accidental Vertigo overdose for the rest of his life – because, as he momentarily went into brooding mode, he thought that he deserved a life of pain for all the mistakes he'd done in the past – he couldn't imagine living the rest of his life without her. He said that breaking her heart by lying had been his greatest mistake in life, thus far, and that losing her would have been the most unbearable punishment he would have had to endure to atone for his sins.

Felicity listened patiently to his regretful musings, refraining from interrupting even when she was itching to call him out on the self-deprecation that she had always hated hearing him express out loud. She felt that he had to let it all out of his chest, and she thought it was better that she knew what was going on in his head than not at all. It had taken years for Oliver to learn how to open up and express himself, and listening to him speak from his heart for more than a minute was definitely major progress, not only for his personal growth but also for their relationship. With all the lessons she'd been learning from the journal about how to truly love her husband, she had wisely chosen to shut her usually hyperactive mouth and to open the eyes and ears of her heart instead. When Oliver was done with his speech, she simply said, "You are welcome, Oliver. Staying with you and taking care of you – all of it – have truly been my pleasure. Because I love you. So much."

That had earned her a passionate, body-tingling kiss from her very grateful and deeply emotional spouse.

When they broke the kiss, Oliver asked her from out of the blue, "Honey, have you seen a leather-bound journal anywhere?" He propped himself up on his elbows and went on to say, "I haven't seen it since… you know… I got hurt. Not that I could actually see where it is even if it was somewhere near. I've been wanting to get back to reading it since we got home… with some help, of course… cuz, you know… reading right now is a bit… or maybe a largely difficult task for me right now."

Felicity broke out laughing at his rambling.

"What?" he asked with widened eyes.

"Sentence fragments, Oliver! Sentence fragments! I see how much of me there already is in you." She cackled once again, making a funny face at him.

In one swift and fluid motion, Oliver slid an arm around her torso and flipped her on to her back. His entire well-built frame was right on top of her, his lips hovering just a couple of inches from hers.

"Oh yeah? Well I happen to like the fact that the really adorable and insanely endearing things about you have become so much a part of me. And you know what? I think you like that, too," he teased her, almost to the point of flirting.

"Mmm-hmm. I believe I do," she responded. The laughter and humor faded as she looked at his handsome face, giving way to an overwhelming sense of want that was reflected in her darkening eyes and slightly lowered tone of voice.

"You do, don't you?" he asked her, picking up on her change in mood. He liked it, and he certainly liked the shift in body language that he had felt on her. She was running her hands up and down his back, the warmth of her palm paradoxically soothing him and setting him on fire at the same time. He had sorely missed this kind of physical intimacy with his wife, so he took advantage of the situation, sensing her willingness to be savored.

And savor his wife, he did. He lowered his head and buried his face in her hair, reveling for a moment in the fresh scent of peach. He whispered sweet, sincere words of endearment while nuzzling his nose in her freshly showered golden mane, and then he grazed her neck with his lips, from the back of her ear to the curve of her shoulder, as she encouraged him with the soft, delightful sounds that escaped her lips. With trembling hands he touched her – something he hadn't been able to do for months – with a hunger that had not been sated for what seemed like ages. He touched her – in ways that he remembered she'd like and she'd feel treasured – giving instead of taking, even if everything in him wanted all of her at once, right then, right there. He touched her, with an intense mixture of passion, respect, and love. And she let him.

Felicity moaned, taking deep breaths as she, too, found pleasure in being cherished and wanted by the love of her life. Had she known how intimacy with her husband after an extended period of emotional estrangement would be this incredible, she might have reconsidered and reconciled with him sooner. That thought did cross her mind. Like him, she had missed feeling his lips on her skin, feeling his tender caresses as she inhaled the amazing fragrance that was Oliver's alone. She couldn't remember the last time they had been this intimate, and as he finally kissed her lips, she wondered why that was so and whose fault it had been.

Another thought suddenly crossed her mind – a thought more significant than the pleasure-induced one that she had just seconds ago. She remembered the dare from the other day. She was supposed to apologize for spurning his sincere attempts at reconciliation and for harboring a resentful, unforgiving spirit towards him. She was supposed to tell him about her visit with her father and how that had released her from many years of feeling trapped. She was supposed to thank him for spending time with both her parents just so that he could understand her better. She couldn't bring herself to cross this final line into complete physical intimacy unless she fulfilled this liberating prerequisite, could she? Should she? No, not if she wanted to truly give of all of her – body and soul – to her husband once again. Leaving the past behind and cleaving to him one hundred percent necessitated complete honesty and trust.

Before their clothes started flying off and landing on the floor, Felicity found both his hands on her third attempt and whispered, "Oliver…" He heard her the first time, but he didn't think much of it. She squirmed underneath him, and when she spoke his name again, squeezing his hands in hers, he pulled back slightly.

"What is it?" he asked with concern, wondering if he had done anything to make her uncomfortable.

"I need to tell you something… before…," she replied breathlessly. She gazed into his eyes and smiled. She wished he could see her face clearly, because she wanted so much for him to know that he hadn't done anything wrong to upset her.

But his eyes were closed as he whispered, "Okay." He rolled over and lay on his back, but he did not let go of her hand. The moment was gone, and the passion began to fade. He was a little disappointed, but because he loved her, he let the negative feeling go. He knew that whatever she had to say was something he needed to hear before they could relish their union once again, so he willingly delayed physical gratification in favor of strengthening the emotional bond he was rebuilding with his wife.

Felicity told him everything that was in her heart. Apologies. Thankfulness. Realizations. Lessons in love. He listened patiently, like he used to when they first started out in their relationship. They had skipped breakfast entirely by the time she was done.

"You've been reading my journal, haven't you?" Oliver ventured a guess. He smiled even with eyes closed as he asked her.

"Yes," Felicity replied, biting her lip. "And for your information, it's now our journal, Honey. I found it… and the letters… with my ring… when you were in a coma. And I decided to take up the dares since you got hurt."

Oliver slid an arm underneath her and pulled her in for an embrace. They were so close she could practically feel his breath on her forehead as he spoke. "The dare had you ask for forgiveness, didn't it?" She nodded. He said, "Felicity, I was the one that hurt you. You don't have to apologize for anything."

"Right," was her cute and curt response. "You did shatter my heart into a million pieces like broken glass, trample on my trust, and take me for granted because I had always taken you back each time you stubbornly decided to handle your problems all by yourself as if you never left that hellish island. You did make me feel unfulfilled and somehow lacking by being indifferent when all I wanted so much was to get pregnant with your child, and by not coming out with the fact that you already had a son I didn't know about." She paused from a rapid-fire enumeration of his offenses, but soon her creased forehead relaxed and she favored him with a winsome smile. "But, you are also wrong. You still deserve an apology from me. We wouldn't have drifted apart like we did if you were the only one to blame. I didn't see it before, but now I do. It wasn't just your lies that destroyed me and paralyzed me; bitterness and unforgiveness did, too. And for that, my love, I am truly sorry."

"All right, apology accepted," Oliver responded, squeezing her into a tighter hug. When he relaxed a bit, he said to her, "I almost lost you, Felicity. I… I know I would keep on breathing day after day without you in my life. I could go on, but it wouldn't be the same, and it wouldn't be living at all." He pulled away so that she could see the sincerity in his face. "You are my always. Thank you for giving me another chance to be yours."

Oliver reiterated how sorry he was for all the lies and dishonesty he had put her through, specifying the failures and mistakes he had realized while going through the love dares. Felicity forgave him for every single one. They both felt the freedom of forgiveness and genuine reconciliation, which gave them a serenity that they hadn't known before. Disappointment over the disrupted moment of passion was long forgotten. They knew that another time would come – more appropriate and more meaningful than the one they had foregone for the sake of proper and necessary closure.

Oliver and Felicity decided to read the journal together each morning until all the dares are done. There were only ten more devotionals and challenges left. Felicity got up and retrieved the journal from her purse, and they began to read the day's entry.

"Love is responsible," Felicity read aloud. She read to him from beginning to end. They learned about taking responsibility for their actions, individually and as partners for life. They learned about going to God for help and for forgiveness when they make mistakes, about humbling themselves and admitting their faults to one another truthfully and sincerely asking for forgiveness. They learned that even though there will be times when the other spouse responds to confrontation or confession negatively, they were supposed to cover their responsibility in love. They learned that even though the other mate responds with criticism, they were to respectfully accept it as counsel, trusting that their partner has their best interests in mind despite differences in perspectives.

Oliver and Felicity closed the journal, happy to recognize that they were on the right track towards genuine healing, which was underscored by the dare the following day.

Day 32

"Love brings healing," they learned. Felicity read out loud again, and Oliver listened as they held hands, leaning back side by side against the headboard of their bed. They read about how true love heals the brokenhearted and binds up wounds that were previously thought to be incurable. They knew in their hearts that this was true, because they were experiencing the miracle of mending. Their wounds were starting to heal, and they both had a renewed desire to love the other unconditionally this time.

The dare for the day told them to receive healing as they go through restoration, to refuse to go back to the past and revisit their pain. They were supposed to tell each other that they had chosen to leave the past behind and move forward together. They gladly did all that that morning. They promised to do whatever it took to rebuild their marriage and prepare for the hopeful possibility of becoming a family someday.

Felicity closed the journal and took a deep breath. She had never been this peaceful in all her life. The past few dare days had become so precious to her. She closed her eyes, and let the rise and fall of her chest carry the leather-bound book.

Oliver turned to his side and wrapped an arm around the top of her waist. He had never been this peaceful in all his life. He loved the dare days, too, and he will be grateful to Walter Steele for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we're winding down on this story. Just two or three chapters left to go, depending on how lengthy the epilogue will be. I hope you'll stick with me to the end. Thanks once again for reading and following!


	18. Fearless Dares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity face their fears, the surgery happens, and a dear friend of theirs receives a special gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading this, then it means that you still chose to click and stick with the story. Thank you for waiting for this next update even if it is one week overdue. This one is for kmyllinha, Michelle, and Claudia Miranda. :-)
> 
> We are down to the last three chapters, which resolve the remaining conflicts and issues. I hope you enjoy this chapter as you, hopefully, have enjoyed the previous ones. Without further ado...

Day 33

It was Saturday, the day before the surgery when the bio-stimulant chip was to be implanted in Oliver's spine. Oliver had awakened early that morning, the sun having just peeped in between clouds over the horizon. He felt so much better and a lot stronger than he had since he came out of his coma. He lay still, so as not to wake his wife, while he counted his blessings and pondered on the trials and triumphs of the past days and weeks.

After about an hour, when the sun was already up and he sensed that she had already woken up too, Oliver pulled Felicity closer to him with one arm. "Good morning, Honey," he whispered into her ear. He kissed the upper part of the shell of her ear, and his lips felt something cold. She had worn the arrow ear piercing and had forgotten to take it off before coming to bed last night, he figured. He didn't even have to open his eyes. He was sure it was right there, blurry vision or not. He had missed seeing it on her ear; she hadn't worn it for months, up until she had brought him home from the lair. His lips curled upwards into a smile. That tiny piece of accessory was sacred to him. It had always reminded him of the special place she had for him in her heart. He would always be a part of her, as she was of him. If only she could wear it all the time, just like she promised she was his for life when they exchanged vows on their wedding day.

"Good morning to you, too," she murmured, eyes still refusing to accept that it was indeed time to wake up, "but that's just my mouth getting ahead of me again. The rest of me is still meandering in dreamland. Could we please just go back to sleep?"

Oliver kissed one of her stubborn eyelids and replied, "The sun is up. It's a beautiful day, Felicity." He liked bright, beautiful mornings like this one. He had never appreciated brightness like this before, even if it hurt his eyes slightly, especially since it was the only thing he could clearly see these days. If he didn't have the tremors and the vision problem, he would have bolted out of the loft and gone out for a morning run while she was still asleep. "Beautiful mornings shouldn't be kept waiting," he added cheerfully.

Felicity sighed, contentment replacing the previous tone of complaint. She opened her eyes and looked up to her husband, her forehead brushing against the growing scruff on his chin, which she had just helped him shave a few days ago. "What did you have in mind?" she asked him, smiling.

"Well, we could start with the journal," he replied. He paused for a while and then continued, "And then I thought maybe you could help me go downstairs. We could have breakfast there together for a change. It's getting pretty boring being cooped up in here. I think I'm up to it."

"You sure?" she asked, raising herself slightly on her elbow as she cupped his cheek in her other hand. "Coz I can't carry you downstairs and back up after, not like you did for me when I was the one who had needed help."

"Yeah," he answered, sitting up and leaning against the headboard. "And for the record, it was my pleasure carrying you everywhere, Felicity." He winked at her.

They started their day reading from the journal. Felicity read aloud again while Oliver listened. "Love is fearless," the day's entry said. "There is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out fear because fear involves torment," the Scripture text stated. They read that selfless, unconditional love that seeks the best for the other person does not give in to F.E.A.R. – False Evidences Appearing Real. Loving hearts have big enough rooms to accept the bad with the good in a relationship built on commitment. On the other hand, loving hearts leave no space for malice, doubt, and pretense. Loving hearts are not afraid to trust and be let down, to learn from the fall and to rise up again. Loving hearts don't expect the worst and spend every waking moment waiting anxiously for it to happen. Loving hearts fear nothing – not pain, rejection, disappointment, failure, brokenness, or even loss. Love is bold and brave.

Felicity had sensed that something seemed to have bothered him somewhere in the middle of her reading, so when she finished the devotional part and he still remained quiet for about a minute, she could no longer keep herself from asking, "What's going on in that broody brain of yours, Oliver?"

He merely grunted.

"Oliver…" She knew better than to ask, but she still did. "What are you thinking?"

He reached for her hand and interlaced his fingers with hers. She had to let go and keep holding the journal with one hand. He squeeze her hand in his, turned his face towards her, and spoke. "I... I just realized that it's my greatest enemy."

"What is?" she asked to clarify what she thought he meant.

"Fear. It's my real arch nemesis. I think it has always been," he replied. Felicity was about to say something when Oliver spoke further. "It's what made me drink, party, fool around, and drop out of colleges when I was younger."

Felicity squinted, looking at him with an amused expression. "Hmm… What makes you say that?" She actually knew the answer. She just needed him to say it out loud and reap the benefits of catharsis.

"I was afraid I'd end up like my dad, when I knew for sure I wouldn't be as good a CEO as he had been grooming me to be. I was afraid I'd get stuck in a life I never wanted. It's what made me cheat on Laurel more than once, and it's what made me go on the Gambit. She wanted me to move in, but I was afraid of a serious, long-term commitment. So, I ran. I was a coward, Felicity. Those five awful years when nothing good ever happened? They would never have happened if I had been man enough-"

"You were a coward, Oliver," Felicity interrupted him, patting her palm against his chest as she spoke. "But that Oliver is not the man I believed in, fell in love with, and married. The Oliver Queen I know is the bravest, most courageous person I've ever known. You have sacrificed everything to save this city and to keep as many people alive as possible. You are a hero, and everything that happened in your past made you the person you are today. Regret your bad choices and learn from them, sure. But never regret your history, because that story brought you to me."

With that, he gripped her hand tighter, and then he was quiet again. He was ruminating on what she had just said. After a minute, he spoke again. At first, his voice sounded tentative, but he kept going.

"Felicity, it was… fear… that made me lie. To you. About William." He bowed down with eyes closed, his teeth clenching inside his mouth. "In the beginning I convinced myself that I did it because I wanted so much to have a relationship with my son, and that wouldn't have been possible if I didn't give in to Samantha's demands. I thought I did it because I had no choice. Because I wanted to protect my son. Now I realize how foolish I was. Looking back, I think the truth is that… I lied because I feared I would lose you… the way Barry described it happening… before he ran backwards in time to undo things and give all of us another chance to make better choices. And I still chose poorly. I… I should have trusted you. I should have trusted that our love for each other could withstand the test. I feared losing you, so I lied, and I still ended up losing you."

"But now you've won me back. I'm here." Felicity leaned sideways towards him. She reached up with one hand to cup his jaw and turn his face towards her, and then she kissed him with all the affection in her heart. When she pulled back, she said tenderly, "I love you."

"Why?" he asked in sincere disbelief, still awed that she was still with him when he thought he didn't deserve her at all.

"Because I choose to," she replied. "When I decided to take you back and give our marriage another chance, I also decided I was going to love you for who you are, flaws and all. Now, I'm still choosing to love you for who you were, are, and will become – fears and all. After all, I have them too, you know." She smiled at him.

"Felicity Smoak-Queen fears nothing. She is the strongest person I know," Oliver remarked.

"Thank you for the compliment, my dear husband. But no, thank you," she responded. "And please don't talk to me about me in the third person. You doing that about yourself feels weird enough." She fake-glared at him, but he most probably didn't notice it with his hazy vision.

She recovered the seriousness in her tone and then proceeded to explain why she disagreed with him. "Deep down I think you know that I battle my own fear demons as well. Why else do you think I contemplated on divorce and found it almost impossible to forgive you? I was scared, too, Oliver. I knew I still loved you, but the fear of you hurting me again was just… too much, too strong. Fear made me believe that love wasn't enough. It almost drowned a host of other feelings I knew I still had, feelings that mattered just as much, or maybe mattered more. I could see you were hurting just like I was, but the fear made me selfish. It made me retreat to my comfort zone of self-preservation. It made me want to protect myself at any cost – even if the cost was losing you." She paused momentarily, to blink away the tears that were welling up in her eyes. "So, if the issue at hand is cowardice, then the line forms behind me too."

Oliver picked up her hand and brought it to his lips for a kiss. "I love you, too." She tugged at his hand in return and kissed his knuckles. "I know," she said, smiling.

"Read the day's dare, will you?" he requested.

Flipping through the pages to find the one where she had been reading from earlier, Felicity said, "The challenge for the day is…" She paused when she found the page and then blew out some air from her mouth. "Identify fears and anxieties in your life and in your relationship and reject them. Face your fears with courage and faith."

"Well, we've already done the first part just a minute ago," Oliver reacted. "How do you propose we act on the courage and faith part?"

"I don't know…" she said, as her lips pressed together and her brain started processing at above-average speed. "Maybe we could… like, speak up or something, each time we sense one of our fears surfacing. You know, verbalize it? It helps to open up about it, doesn't it? I know that's not the easiest thing for you to do, but you're actually getting better at it lately. Not that I'm saying it's easy for me. Not at all! Because verbalizing my fears doesn't come naturally for me either. Especially not for someone who grew up with abandonment issues and a mother who was almost never home to listen to a host of things that were going on up here in my head. I just meant-"

"Honey, I know what you meant." Oliver broke her babbling. "And yes, we could do that. Talking about what scares us makes them more concrete and easier to deal with. It's easier to fight the monsters that we can see."

"I agree," Felicity responded. She squeezed his hand and kissed him on the cheek.

**************************

It was a good thing they started out their day that way. After a hearty breakfast and another intimate yet shorter talk, their courage and faith to battle fear was immediately tested.

Dr. Henderson came to check on Oliver's condition, and after making sure that his vitals were fine, the doctor cleared him for surgery. Afterwards, Henderson threw the couple an attention-grabbing question, "So… which one would you like to hear first, the good news or the bad news?"

Oliver and Felicity looked at each other. He nodded at her, prompting her to be the one to choose. She picked the bad news first, thinking that the good news would be what lingered in her mind for the rest of the day.

Henderson told them that based on the test results he ran on Oliver's latest blood, urine, and semen samples, although ninety percent of the concentrated dose of Vertigo had been flushed out of his bloodstream by the intravenous medication, the initial drug overdose had already directly affected Oliver's reproductive system and aggravated his condition. His sperm count was now dangerously close to rendering him impotent, which meant that it will be even harder for them to get pregnant. The drug analysis done confidentially by the professional laboratory – to which the samples that Laurel had secretly collected from the crime scene on the night of the raid were sent – confirmed the cause and effect link. Henderson added that it would be unrealistic to expect the bio-stimulant chip to have any direct, positive effects on his sperm count and sperm quality, even if the implant cured his vision problem and tremors.

The good news was that Henderson, Dr. Kumar, and Curtis Holt had talked extensively the day before about the bio-stimulator chip and the surgical procedure. Curtis had reported confidently that he was able to re-calibrate the bio-stimulator chip to suit Oliver's neurological needs. Henderson, thus, assured the couple that everything was ready, and that they have high hopes that the surgical implant will be successful, especially since Oliver's injuries were not as severe as Felicity's previous ones, which had caused her "initially permanent" paralysis. Henderson and Kumar's prognosis was that Oliver's vision would clear up and the tremors in his upper and lower extremities would be gone in just a few days.

Before Henderson left, he informed them of another good news. The civil case for breach of contract and confidentiality agreement against Ms. Kinnel, the receptionist at the clinic that had leaked information about Oliver's treatment and started the rumors about the Queens' divorce, had been filed in court. Henderson's attorneys handling the lawsuit were going to make sure that the woman would pay the price for what she had done out of malice and greed, and that no medical and allied medical institutions would make the mistake of hiring someone like her in the future.

After the doctor left, Felicity ordered two boxes of pizza for lunch and dinner. She wasn't in the mood to whip up something that was even remotely edible. Oliver did not object to the grease and cholesterol overload they were going to share for the rest of the day as his mind was too preoccupied with the news that Henderson had brought. They ate pizza, in silence mostly, while watching a cable TV soap opera from some Latin American network without subtitles – something that neither of them would have done if they were in their right minds. They were both obviously bothered by something, despite the good news they had received from the doctor.

When the first box of pizza was devoured and cleared from the coffee table, Felicity sat back down on the couch beside Oliver, tucked her legs underneath her, and snuggled close to her husband. He sensed that she wanted to cuddle. Oliver knew that when Felicity wanted to cuddle, she was either really happy and relaxed, or really troubled and sad. So he slung an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, kissing the top of her blonde head.

Oliver heaved a sigh and said, "It's okay. I'm afraid too." She didn't have to say what was bothering her. He already knew, because he felt the same way. Felicity merely nodded twice, blowing a stray strand of hair away from her face.

"I wish I could say everything's going to be fine," Oliver began to say.

"Fine has always been your default response, but it almost always isn't the case," Felicity remarked, looking up at his face with pouting lips. "Are you afraid of the surgery?"

"Not really," he answered. "I'm confident about Curtis' tech, and I trust Henderson's and Kumar's expertise."

"So it's the other thing, huh?" she asked, and he nodded.

The other thing. Definitely. He had lived through enough medical procedures, and he had an assortment of scars on his body to prove it. One more scar on his back wasn't going to be that big of a deal. It was the idea of not being able to father a child with Felicity that was wickedly clawing at him. Since that day when one of the early dares led him to realize (with the prompting of Curtis) that being the mother of his child meant the world to Felicity, he had wanted to make her happy by doing everything he could to help make it a reality. He had finally done his part, and then this happened. And this time, things were beyond his control. Just as regret and guilt were starting to creep in again, Felicity spoke.

"Oliver, listen to me." She began what was going to be a lengthy speech. She made sure he was looking at her, even though she knew her face wouldn't be crystal clear in his eyes.

"Even before we were married… actually, even before we officially became a couple…" She laughed a little at what she was about to confess. "I've always imagined what it would be like to be pregnant… with your son or daughter. If I remember right, I think it started that night… when Lyla delivered little Sara and we went to visit." She paused a while, reminiscing that moment in the hospital when she borrowed the little bundle of Diggle joy. She had carried Sara, not noticing that Oliver had been gazing at her in wonder with the tiny baby in her arms.

"When I… when I got shot the night you proposed, and I woke up hearing the doctor telling my mom that they had to remove an ovary, I… I was devastated. Doing the math was easy, and still I figured that statistically, a 50% chance at getting pregnant was not really an impossibility that called for self-pity. I still dreamt on, even if I couldn't walk. Even if… you know…" She paused again, giggling a bit. "Even if we had to be a bit… rather, a lot more creative… about how the baby-making was going to be done eventually." Oliver's tensed up muscles began to relax as he laughed a little at his wife's naughty humor.

"After the implant had done wonders and I was able to walk again," Felicity continued, "I thought that I had a better shot at getting pregnant when we got married. I wanted so much to be the mother of your next child… or children. Nothing could make me prouder. You know that, right?" She looked up at him, seeking for a positive response. When she saw a faint smile on his face, she continued, "I've never lost hope, and I'm not about to start right now, no matter what the doctors say or what the lab tests show. But know this: even if we never get to have a child of our own, I will always love you, care for you, support you and encourage you for the rest of our life together. Because you, Oliver Queen, are worth more to me than ten sons and daughters. You mean the world to me. There may never be blue-eyed, blonde-haired boys and girls running around the house, but I don't care anymore. All I care about now is… you."

Felicity saw her husband's eyes pool with tears, and she lifted her hand to brush away the first tear that fell from the corner of his eye. She tilted her head backwards and met his lips as he lowered his head to kiss her. Their lips parted, mouths welcoming the heartfelt comfort they offered each other in the face of fear and uncertainty. The salty flavor of his grateful tears blended with the sweetness of their ardent affection for each other. He shifted his position so that he could hold her closer in a tight embrace as she ran her hands up and down his magnificently muscled back. The kiss was long and passionate, and they needed it to be. They needed to feel the sincerity of true love's promise in every bone, muscle, and nerve. They needed it to chase away every wind of doubt and every wave of fear that lingered in their hearts. The intimate moment sealed a renewed commitment to persevere in weathering any storm. Together.

When they pulled back for air, Oliver looked at his beautiful wife – whose own tears had begun to roll down her cheeks. He told her, "I'm not afraid anymore." She replied, "Neither am I."

Love is fearless. Its courage shines like the relentless light and heat of the sun. Clouds of gray sometimes hide the sunshine, but they do so only for a moment. The darkness of night may seem endless, but bold beams of brilliant light always come back at the break of dawn.

Day 34

"Love dares the impossible." That was the lesson in the next day's journal entry that Oliver and Felicity had read just before John Diggle and Thea came to bring them to Henderson's clinic, which was closed to other patients since it was a Sunday. The devotional had prepared their minds and hearts just as Henderson, Kumar, and a nurse sworn to privacy had prepped him physically for the delicate medical procedure. With only a three-man team, the surgery took longer than usual, but because of the exceptional skills of the two doctors, and the technical guidance of Curtis over the communication link in the O.R., the five-hour operation was a success.

An unconscious Oliver was wheeled from the operating room to the recovery room. Felicity was allowed to see him for a while. When she returned to the lounge area to wait for him to wake up from the anesthesia's effects, she thought about the day's dare. "Love dares the impossible." She and Oliver were supposed to look back over the dares from previous weeks and ask themselves, "Were there some dares that seemed impossible to you? What makes you keep going? Have you realized the things in your life that need to change? Have you been growing in love, whether or not your spouse responds favorably to your efforts?"

Felicity was thankful that Oliver did not give up on her, that he had fought for her and for their marriage even when she had been ready to walk away. There had been many reasons why she had fallen in love with him, and one of those was that he always found a way and never gave up easily even if the situation seemed impossible. She smiled at the thought that his heroism extended even to their relationship. Oliver Queen had not "failed his Felicity," she thought, her smile widening as she considered both the play on words and the fact that she had actually referred to the both of them in the third person, as Oliver used to do when he spoke of himself.

Felicity thought that it was now her turn to believe in the possibility of an impossibility. She would not fail Oliver, not now when he needed her most. She looked down at the ring on her finger and closed her eyes. "We're going to be okay," she remembered telling him before, "because we've found ourselves in each other."

When Oliver woke up and the anesthetic effects had mostly worn off, the doctors discharged him, giving post-op care instructions to Felicity. Diggle and Thea brought them back to the Loft and, after making sure the couple had everything they needed, left for the night to do routine patrols with Laurel in the docks.

Day 35

The following morning, Thea stopped by the Loft to check in on Oliver and Felicity before going to City Hall. Even police commissioner Lance came by with Laurel to see how they were doing. They found the couple enjoying breakfast in bed while watching the morning news. Everyone was thankful that there was nothing in the news reports about the mayor's medical procedure; even Susan Williams had been quiet since the press conference given by Alex and Thea had aired on the news days ago. Captain Lance, Thea, and Diggle had made sure that security was tight and that the entire neighborhood where the clinic was located was clear of any media personnel and suspicious bystanders. The Queens thanked them for it.

Before she left, Thea just had to ask what she had been itching to ask since she arrived. "So, Ollie… what am I wearing today?"

"Thea," Laurel cautioned her friend, "the chip works wonders, but I don't think it was meant to work its wonders overnight."

Everyone laughed, but their laughter was soon cut off when Oliver replied quite gladly, "That's the teal chanel jacket that Mom gave you on your birthday – the one you didn't celebrate, and the last one before she passed away. I thought you said you'd never wear it. I'm surprised it still fits."

Everyone gasped. Felicity's eyes darted from Thea to Oliver. She was much too pleasantly astonished to speak.

Thea grinned at her brother. "Yes, it is. I see your eyesight's fast becoming as keen as your memory." She walked to his bedside and sat down. "How clearly can you see now?" she asked.

Oliver answered, "Everything is still a little hazy, but I can see so, so much better. I can see Laurel's necklace from here. And is that… is that a nasty bruise on Captain Lance's forehead?" he asked.

Lance was just about to confirm the bruising he got from a buy-bust operation the SCPD had the night before when Felicity reached over from her side of the bed, capturing Oliver's neck in her arms. "Baby, this is wonderful!"

"I bet it is," Oliver replied smirking. "You haven't called me Baby since we got married," he teased her.

Felicity punched him in the arm, but she immediately hugged him again. "You naughty, naughty Queen! Why didn't you tell me earlier that you could see more clearly since you woke up?!"

Oliver answered, still kidding her, "If I did, we wouldn't have had breakfast in bed now, would we?" He winked at her and then drew her close for another hug.

But Felicity was so thrilled about the new development that she wanted more than just a hug. She put her hands on his chest and pushed away a little, mouthing a soundless "I love you." She then grabbed him by the neckline of his shirt and excitedly pulled him down for a kiss – the kind that did not really need an audience.

"Alright, alright, we get it! You want all of us. Out of here. Right now!" Lance said emphatically, rolling his eyes and turning to head for the door in embarrassment. He motioned to Laurel and Thea to follow him out of the room.

"Goodbye, you two. We'll let ourselves out," Thea called out, chuckling, before closing the bedroom door behind her.

The Queens didn't care. They were oblivious to the retreat of their company because they were busy celebrating Oliver's amazing recuperation with a passionate kiss that had begun to escalate into a full-blown make-out session…

…which was rudely interrupted by the annoying ringing of the doorbell. Curtis Holt stood at their front door and rang the bell. Several times.

Oliver broke the kiss first, albeit hesitantly, whispering to Felicity to go see who's knocking. An irritated Felicity got out of the bed, pulled down the skirt that had ridden up her thighs, and pulled her messed up hair into a ponytail. She darted to the door, cleared her throat, and yelled as she sped down the stairs, "Just a minute!"

She opened the front door, and when she saw who the new visitor was, she gleefully pushed up on her tiptoes to hug her dear friend. "Curtis!" she cried. "It works! It works! Thank you so much!"

"Whoa! Whoa! Hold your horses!" Curtis responded. He could see that Felicity was extremely cheerful and excited to see him, and he immediately surmised that she was referring to Oliver's implant. She was pulling down on his neck, forcing him to bend over. He wrapped his arms around his friend and lifted her up from the floor so that their eyes were on the same level. "Calm down and tell me all about it," he said, and then he put her down.

Felicity immediately started on her rambling response as they went to sit on the living room sofa. "It's just been… what, almost twenty-four hours, Curtis. But the effects of the chip on Oliver are so dramatic. This morning when I helped him with breakfast, I noticed that his hands were visibly steadier. He was able to hold the glass of water on his own without spilling. He could even cut up his own bacon with the knife and fork without much assistance. I didn't want to comment right away coz I didn't want to spoil things or jump to conclusions prematurely. But when Quentin, Laurel, and Thea came by…" Felicity paused to stop the onset of what could easily be a crying spree. After swallowing hard a couple of times, she exclaimed, "Curtis! Oliver can see almost clearly now! He could see Laurel's necklace from about ten feet away. He recognized the color and style of Thea's jacket. He even noticed Commissioner Lance's bruise!"

"That's… that's terrific news, Felicity," Curtis remarked, his own tears of joy threatening to break loose. He cleared his throat and went on to say, "I'm so glad to hear that the chip is working well for him. I didn't expect it to happen so soon, but… well, it's really great to know that Oliver is recovering fast."

"Curtis, I don't know how to thank you enough," Felicity said to him. "Thank you. Thank you so much from the bottom of my broken but healing heart."

"You're welcome. It was my pleasure and privilege to help. You have no idea how good it makes me feel to see you walking, and now, Oliver seeing more clearly. Hopefully in the coming days, the tremors would be gone completely."

"Yeah, hopefully. Would you like to say hi? He's upstairs. I'm sure he wouldn't mind you going up to-"

"I'm right here," Oliver joined their conversation from the top of the stairs. He smiled at them and started coming down the stairs on his own.

"Oliver! Be careful!" Felicity yelled, already up on her feet and heading to where he was halfway down the stairs.

"Mayor Queen!" Curtis spoke. "Are you sure you're up to this, Sir?"

Oliver smiled and nodded just as he took the last couple of steps, this time with Felicity holding on to one of his arms. "Curtis, I was injured, not disabled," Oliver replied calmly to assure the tech genius that he was perfectly fine. "And thanks to you, yeah, I am now able to come down and receive visitors. So you can stop fidgeting and relax."

Curtis' eyes widened as he realized he had been shifting his weight from one foot to another, bouncing on the balls of his feet even. He instantly stood at attention just as Oliver approached him for a warm hug. Curtis tensed up, standing like driftwood encased in the mayor's brawny arms.

When Oliver released the driftwood, he said, "I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me, Curtis. Like I told you before when you first helped Felicity with the chip, please… don't hesitate to come to me and ask for help. You know how to reach me."

"Ooo-kaaay…" Curties responded tentatively. He was apparently uncomfortable with the uncharacteristically warm reception of the mayor, his boss's husband. "I'll keep that in mind, Sir. I mean, Mr. Mayor, Sir."

"And you can call me Oliver. I insist," Oliver told him.

"Right, Oliver," Curtis responded. "Well, you are most welcome, Oliver. As I said to Felicity, it was my pleasure and privilege to have helped you get better. I'm happy that the tech I designed is literally doing wonders for you. Now more than ever, I'm eager and motivated to help her and Palmer Tech develop the chip and make it available to more people."

Oliver replied, "That… is something my wife and I have been looking forward to, and we are both glad that you are with us in that endeavor. Your partnership with Felicity, and our friendship with you, is something that I'm truly grateful for."

"Which is why Oliver and I thought that it's only fitting to express our gratitude for your help and your friendship by giving you something that is of great value to both of us," Felicity continued her husband's train of thought.

"Which is…?" Curtis asked, his eyes narrowing out of curiosity.

Oliver was the one who answered him. "Which is our trust. Quite frankly, we believe you've not only earned it; you deserve it." Oliver looked at his wife, cuing her to provide the rest of the explanation.

"Curtis," Felicity began, cautiously but enthusiastically, "we truly appreciate that you have been willing to help us when we needed your expertise most. We realized this morning that it's not really proper to thank you just for your help. We also wanted to thank you for keeping things confidential and for helping to protect the private lives of the mayor and the company's CEO. Most of all, we wanted to thank you for not asking – for not asking why we needed your help so badly. You helped us without knowing why and how Oliver was injured. You didn't even dare to ask or demand an explanation. You just… helped. And for that, we will always be grateful."

"And because you have earned our trust and our respect," Oliver continued his wife's gratitude speech, "we want you to know why your help was significant. We want to entrust yet another secret to you – a secret that we will now ask you to help guard." Oliver paused for a while, and then he extended his right hand towards Curtis. "Thank you, Curtis, for helping the Green Arrow get back on his feet and see again. By helping me, you contributed significantly to the goal of saving this city. You are a hero in your own right."

Curtis was shocked at the implications of what the mayor of Star City had just told him. He was so flabbergasted that he was unable to move and take Oliver's offered handshake. He stood there, rooted to the spot, unable to breathe or blink.

After almost a minute of shocked silence, the first words began to leave his mouth in soft, slow succession. "You…" he turned to look Oliver straight in the eyes, moving for the first time. "You are… the Green Arrow?" The revelation of Oliver Queen's secret identity slowly made sense to him. "Suddenly… things… are so much… clearer now."

"He is," Felicity confirmed. Oliver simply nodded and smiled.

"Wow…" was all Curtis could say at this point. The tall, dark-skinned guy slowly walked to the nearest couch and sat down. The decathlete's long, strong legs could no longer hold him up in astonishment. Felicity offered to get him a glass of water, but he said he only needed another minute to get his bearings back and he'd be fine.

Eventually, Curtis did calm down. He struck up a casual conversation with the couple. Oliver obliged him, sharing a few of the adventures of the vigilante since he came back from the island. Of course, Felicity was there to spice up the anecdotes, adding a humorous remark here and there, and stressing her hero's most notable achievements each time Oliver was too shy or felt it inappropriate to mention them himself. They once again thanked Curtis for his help and for his trustworthiness, and Curtis, in turn, thanked them for counting him worthy of their trust as well.

After Curtis left, Oliver and Felicity carried on with an attitude of gratitude, which was the lesson they had learned upon waking up that morning. Before breakfast in bed, they had started the day reading from the dare diary, which said, "Love is grateful." They had read that love never forgets the kindness and goodness shown by others. Love takes the time to notice the simple joys in everyday life and to be thankful for each one. Love knows how to count blessings instead of making a list of complaints and grievances. Love knows how to be thankful in both good times and bad times. Love can rejoice over what is left when everything else has been lost.

The dare for the day had them thank God for each other and for the privilege of loving their spouse. Felicity even recited a Jewish prayer she had learned when she was little but had tucked away in her heart throughout the bitter years of growing up without a father. They were supposed to express to each other how grateful they were that they didn't have to live their lives alone. And that was what they did.

Oliver thanked Felicity for choosing him despite him being damaged, for marrying him in spite of the threats and dangers that came with being the Green Arrow's wife, and for staying with him even when she had every reason to leave him for hurting her.

Felicity thanked him for choosing her among all the women in his life, for finally mustering the courage to be in a relationship with her when he previously thought that a vigilante couldn't be with someone he truly cared about, and for not giving up on her even if it had meant letting her go.

They were both grateful for another day, another chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Letting me know what you thought of this would be nice :-) Also, I've pretty much decided on how the last two chapters will go, but if there's anything you'd like to see in the epilogue, now is the time to say so. No promises, but I'll see what I can do about working it into the ending of the story. 
> 
> The first part of this fic was predominantly angst and hurt, while this second one is primarily comfort and fluff. The next chapter is the highlight of part two, so I hope you stay with the story until the end. Thanks again for taking the time to read!


	19. The Dearest Dares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last of the vital issues that caused Olicity to drift apart in the beginning of the story is resolved, followed by some fluff. (wink)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas, everyone! I thought it would be a nice holiday present for this chapter to be posted a couple of days early. May it bring you a smile and good cheer.
> 
> This is the second to the last chapter, and I hope you enjoy it. I sure had fun writing it!

Day 36

"Wait… you want to do what?" Felicity asked Oliver with a surprised look on her face. The glass bowl she was washing after a hearty breakfast of blueberry pancakes almost slipped from her soapy hands.

Oliver pressed his lips together, stopping short as he leaned against the kitchen counter of the Loft. He knew his wife would not approve; he hoped she merely disapproved initially. He had woken up feeling so much better than the day before and had been up and about an hour before Felicity had gotten up that morning. "Honey, I… I thought I'd call Thea and tell her to prep the staff that I'll be reporting back at City Hall soon."

Felicity's surprised expression was immediately replaced by a frown. "And by soon, you mean…?"

Oliver's eyebrows lifted as he replied, "Tomorrow? Or… maybe the day after?" He scratched an imaginary itch at the back of his head. He could sense that his wife was not pleased with his announcement.

Felicity chewed on her lower lip as she rinsed her hands and dried them off with the kitchen towel. She then turned and glared at him, and then she started walking towards him, her forehead crinkled in displeasure. "You, Mister Queen, may be the mayor of this city, but you are still first and foremost my husband," she declared, "and I will not let you get back to work without clearance from your doctors." She was not using her loud voice, but the intensity of her stare and her statement clearly and forcefully set forth an implied imperative.

"But I feel so much better now. It's been more than a week that I've been out. I've got to get back to my job… jobs, rather," Oliver tried to reason, even if he knew he didn't stand a chance.

"I know, I know. Believe me, I'm your number one fan when it comes to saving this city. But Honey, you can't save this city as mayor by day and vigilante by night if you're not in tip-top shape," Felicity argued, pointing a forefinger with a pink-painted nail against her husband's cotton covered chest.

Oliver argued back, "I am back in shape, I assure you. I can see more clearly. The tremors hardly show. And I'm feeling a renewed surge of energy. Curtis' miracle chip is exactly what it is, a miracle-worker."

"Seeing more clearly and tremors hardly showing are not exactly the same as tip-top shape, Oliver," Felicity countered adamantly, with a scowl on her face. "You're not going back to work – both daytime and nighttime – not just yet. Not if I can help it. I didn't nurse you back to health only for you to put yourself in harm's way just because you're going out there without having fully recovered."

"Fe-li-ci-ty…" Oliver pleaded with puppy dog eyes. His arms came up, snaked around her waist, and enveloped her in a hug.

"I know what you're trying to do. But saying my name that way won't cut it this time," she warned him, squirming to free herself from his embrace.

"Please?" Oliver bargained. It was his last ditch effort, now resorting to flirting with his wife. "I already know what the doctors will say. They're going to give me a clean bill of health, thanks to the hottest private nurse in town," he said with a twinkle in his eye. His arms loosened and his hands moved downwards to massage her hips.

"Maybe so, but… humor me," Felicity responded, this time no longer upset, just serious enough to show him that she was only sincerely looking out for him. She gave him a peck on the lips, took both of his hands in hers, and said, "Seriously, Oliver, what is another day? Your doctor's appointment is tomorrow morning. Both Henderson and Kumar will be there. I'd feel so much more at ease hearing it from them that you're good to go."

"Alright," Oliver acquiesced, "you win." He gave her a quick kiss and released her to go back to dishwashing. She walked away with a cocky grin on her face, and he heard her say confidently, "I always do."

Oliver smiled, crossing both his arms in front of his chest. He thought she was right. More often than not. In the years that he had known her, even before they became a couple, from the old foundry to the present bunker and the home they shared, listening to her and heeding her advice had almost always yielded pleasant results.

He leaned back against the kitchen counter once more, carefully watching Felicity doing her chore and delighting in that moment. She was beautiful. She was wise. She was precious, and she was his. He pushed off with his elbows, thinking how blessed he was to have her in his life, to have someone like her care about someone like him. He wasn't going to waste this second chance with her.

"I'll see you upstairs in a while?" he said. "I'll have the journal ready."

"Sure, I'm almost done here. I'll be up in five," she replied as he went up the stairs.

*************************

"Love brings unity," was the journal entry for the day. The devotional portion reminded them that love keeps spouses one in heart and mind even if they are two uniquely designed individuals with distinct personalities. Love allows two people to complement each other and bring out the best in them. Love lets couples celebrate unity in diversity.

Oliver and Felicity enjoyed talking about what made them special and different. Oliver told her that her fashion sense and unique taste for colors and style had always made him smile; he complimented her for always looking stunning in red. Felicity told him that green was absolutely his color, that dark leathers suited the somber personality and masculine physique of post-island Oliver, and that watching him put on and take off his mask and hood had always been fascinating (and attractive) as far as she was concerned. He told her how much he appreciated her wealth of words – including the ramblings and innuendos that betray what were truly in her mind and heart – in contrast to the verbal dearth that kept him from freely expressing himself to others. She told him how much she appreciated his outrageously impressive ninja-like stealth and bodily-kinesthetic abilities, reiterating that no one will ever come close to his unbelievable (and gorgeous) skill at the salmon ladder; she was grateful that someone so pathetically physically-challenged as her had been given an amazing partner that was not only agile and athletic but also attractive. Oliver assured her that she, too, was not only adorably attractive but also agile in other ways, particularly in one very important aspect of their relationship – a sappy line, which, when she had picked up on what he was hinting at, had led to some kissing and nearly sidetracked them from their morning meditations.

When they came to their senses, they thought of more reasons to appreciate unity despite their differences. He told her how much he admired her inner strength and courage, and she told him how proud she was of his physical strength and mental endurance, his tolerance for pain, and his unique ability to persevere in the midst of so much anguish and suffering. They recognized how different they were from each other – she, a geeky genius raised in Vegas with major abandonment issues and trained in MIT to change the world with just a computer and the Internet; and he, a hunk of a hero raised extravagantly with a silver spoon in his mouth but forged as a versatile weapon in the fires of hell. Nonetheless, they agreed that they were better together, simply but sacrificially trying to make the world a better place, while finding comfort and solace in each other's arms as partners for life.

They were different, but they were one. Their love for each other united them and bound them together. And this time, they were both determined to make their partnership and their marriage work, not just for themselves, but for the greater good. Too many lives depended on it. Their happiness and future depended on it.

According to the dare diary, the challenge for the day was to isolate one area of division in their marriage that could undermine that unity that they shared. They were to reflect on their relationship and discover anything that might threaten their oneness. They were to discuss the matter openly and agree on an action step that would deter the threat from succeeding.

Oliver became silent for a while as he mused. Felicity was quiet, too; she already knew what that potential threat was, as far as she was concerned, but she was waiting for Oliver to say something that might confirm what she felt in her heart. She knew she had to face the issue sooner or later. When her husband remained speechless, she spoke first.

"So, uhm… I'd like to meet William. If that's okay with you. I mean, if you think your son is ready for it."

Oliver was only partly surprised. He knew the issue would come up sooner or later; he just didn't expect her to be a few steps ahead. He had thought that she had been stuck at accepting the fact that he had a son that he didn't tell her about. It seemed that she had gotten over the acceptance phase already and was ready to move forward.

"Okay…" he responded, tentatively.

Felicity sensed that he was unsure about what she was asking of him, so she clarified her position on the matter of him having a son with another woman. "Oliver, long before I had forgiven you, I had already realized that William was an undeniably important part of your life, and because I am married to you, he has become part of my life as well. I knew that the sooner I accepted that, the better it would be for both of us. When I finally did, the pain didn't go away. I kept on asking myself why. Why?"

She turned to face him. He gazed at her with deep sympathy. He could feel the pain she had been struggling with, and a fresh wave of regret washed over him, making him tear up. He reached for her hand and held it affectionately.

Felicity went on to say, "Now I know why. The pain is still there because I haven't completely let go of the stigma that the issue brought with it, and I think it's going to be a problem for us if I don't deal with it right now."

"What do you mean?" Oliver asked.

"Remember I told you before that I didn't have a problem with you having a son? I really didn't. At least, I thought I didn't. I told you that what hurt me was you not telling me about him and instead hiding it from me… for an incredibly long time. I… I realize now that that wasn't entirely true." She paused and took a deep breath. She was going to need more courage for what she was about to confess. "I think that I do have major problem with you having a son… with someone else… who isn't me. It has made me feel… insecure… worthless… jealous, even. I've felt like a total failure because despite my best efforts, and even though I love you so much, I still can't give you a child. Someone else whom you never even loved gave you a son. And the thought that I may never be able to… that… that hurts. It really hurts…"

Felicity broke down in tears, sobbing against Oliver's shoulder when he reached over to pull her close into a tight embrace. He comforted her with his touch, his warmth, and butterfly kisses on the skin of her face, which was drenched in tears. He knew she had to deal with these feelings and let it all out. He knew it was going to liberate her at last. Still, he wanted to make her feel loved and to reassure her that she was worth the world to him, childless or not.

After minutes that seemed liked hours, Felicity pulled away from Oliver, reached for some tissue from the bedside table, and dried her tears. She closed her eyes, tipped her head backwards, and then heaved a huge sigh. She felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders. "Oh, that felt good," she said with relief. He reached for her and rubbed her forearm gently. "I'm sure it did."

After she rolled all the tissue she had used into a ball and managed to throw it into a trash bin a few feet away, she said to him sadly, "I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's not your fault," Oliver comforted her. "We both know there's nothing wrong with you, and we've got test results to prove it. If there's anyone who should be sorry, it's me. I… I'm the one who can't-"

Felicity stopped him mid-sentence. "Oliver, don't go there. It's not your fault either." She paused, collecting her thoughts. "I've told you before. At this point, all I care about is you. Wondering whether or not we'll ever have a son or daughter of our own is something I'll have to learn to live with everyday from now on, without feeling regretful or incomplete. And I know I'll make it, because I have you, and that's enough for me. So, if all we'll ever have is William, then we are going to love him relentlessly. I am going to love him relentlessly, as if he were my own son. Because he is a part of you, and you are a part of me."

Oliver beamed at her with pride and admiration in his eyes. His Felicity was the strongest, bravest person he knew. In many ways, she was tougher than him, he thought. She had always found a way to rise above the darkness and the drear that life brought her way. He, in contrast, had always lived with shadows hovering above him. "Listen, Honey," he spoke, "I'm truly sorry for lying to you about Will-"

"Ugh! Oliver, stop. Please stop apologizing for the nth time," she said to him. "I've already forgiven you. You've already forgiven me. So that's that! Let's just get on with this 'unity' thing, and figure out how we can both let William into our lives and love him like the genuine Queen that he is."

Oliver's heart fluttered upon hearing his wife's resolute words of kindness and understanding. He moved closer to her and leaned into her chest. She welcomed him with open arms and cuddled him close, his head nestling between her breasts. She rubbed her nose against his, and he whispered, "Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"I can't seem to recall the last time, Mister Queen," Felicity teased.

"I love you," he said tenderly, and then he lifted his head to kiss her.

"I love you, too," she said after, caressing his stubbly face with her soft-skinned palm.

Oliver asked, "So, how do you propose we act on the issue of my son?"

"Our son," Felicity corrected him. Oliver grinned and kissed her again in acknowledgement. She continued, "Like I told you, I'd like to meet him first. And then maybe be we can visit him on a more regular basis, and then invite him over eventually. We can fix the guest room downstairs and make it more like a boy's room. We can take him to a Rockets game! Bring him to museums. I can talk to Caitlyn and Cisco about giving him a Star Labs tour. Do you think he'd like that?"

"I'm sure he would," Oliver answered affirmatively, "especially if said tour included a meet-and-greet with The Flash and the Green Arrow. They're his favorite superheroes, and he loves to play with his action figures." He winked.

"I think that can be arranged," she remarked happily.

Felicity and Oliver spent the rest of the morning talking about their role in William's life and the boy's role in theirs. They both came to terms with the repercussions and committed themselves to building a solid relationship with William together. They discussed legal considerations and how they were going to relate with William's stepfather. They brainstormed about the family they dreamed of raising one day, with his older son in it, about how they would explain to their own child later on why he or she had an older sibling from a different mother. (Of course, that was contingent upon them miraculously getting their wish.) They also considered how they would deal with the publicity with the help of Thea and Alex; they agreed that they would prioritize William's interests and protect him from gossip and harassment by the media. They even talked about how they would handle reporters like Susan Williams, who would have a heyday mixing rumors and opinions with the fact that the mayor had a love child in his youth.

Most of all, they talked about the different ways, big and small, that they could show William their love and care, especially since the boy no longer had a mother, and could possibly have a future stepmother in Central City. Felicity realized that she had a very important role to play in the boy's life, and she promised Oliver that she would try her best to win the William's heart without coming across as someone attempting to replace the mother William had lost. They knew it wasn't going to be a walk in the park, but they sure were going to give it their best shot. They were not going to let an innocent boy suffer because of Oliver's past mistakes, and they were not going to allow this issue to continue to drive a wedge between them anymore. "Love brings unity."

Oliver said to his wife, "You are such a positive, loving person, Felicity. You have a big heart, and I know you have more than enough room for William to be loved and feel loved. I have no doubt that your light will brighten his life just as it has brightened mine. The fact that you're willing to try is admirable already, and I love you all the more for it."

After lunch, Oliver called William's stepfather and arranged for him and Felicity to visit his son in Central City the weekend after next.

 

Day 37

First thing in the morning of the next day, Diggle accompanied Oliver and Felicity to the clinic for his appointment with Doctors Henderson and Kumar. Both doctors confirmed that Oliver's condition had remarkably improved. His vision was almost back to 20/20. His upper and lower extremities showed no signs of shaking. And when Oliver asked them if he could go back to work, both doctors confidently gave him the green light, but reminded him to take it easy for the next two weeks. They instructed Felicity to make sure that Oliver is constantly hydrated and nourished with healthy meals. He was cleared for low impact workouts, and Felicity suggested that they go see Paul for a customized rehab program that will suit his recovery.

Henderson told Oliver to come back for follow-up fertility testing after six months. The doctor didn't give the couple false hopes that his reproductive problems would take a sudden turn for the better like his neurological problems did, but his positive outlook and willingness to keep on trying to help the Queens realize their dream through scientific means greatly encouraged them.

Oliver left the clinic with a wide grin on his face, almost giddy actually; he was happy to be back to his old self, with the love of his life beside him. He requested to be taken to the bunker, as he had missed it a lot. Thea and Laurel were still both at work, so it was only three of them that were there to celebrate his comeback – OTA, as Felicity called them. He smiled and took a deep breath when he held his bow and quiver once again. And when Felicity brought out some tennis balls, he didn't hesitate to try shooting some with his arrows with nearly the same precision as before his injury. He hinted at Diggle about sparring, but one stern glare from his wife was enough for him to consider it a bad idea for the time being.

Before they left the bunker to head back home, Oliver called Thea and instructed her to inform the staff at City Hall that he will be returning to work the following day. Felicity also phoned her executive assistant and Curtis that she will be reporting back to the office the next day and that they should both be ready for a debrief.

In the afternoon, they met with Paul and consulted with the rehab professional about a special program for Oliver. Paul recommended some exercises and therapeutic routines that Oliver can do at home by himself and with Felicity's help. They agreed that he was going to come to the gym to work out under Paul's supervision at least three times a week before heading to work.

The Queens enjoyed a quiet evening at the Loft. When Thea left sometime after dinner, Oliver and Felicity reminisced their special moments together while clearing the table and cleaning up in the kitchen. They laughed at recollections of how they had bantered down at the foundry. Felicity blushed when Oliver teased her for being jealous of Helena, McKenna, Isabel, and Sara. She neither confirmed nor denied it; she just threw a wet kitchen towel at him and then teased him back for being jealous of Barry and Ray and even the guy in the elevator at Merlyn Global that had attempted to hit on her in the middle of their mission. They entertained themselves with anecdotes of how they had danced around their feelings for each other for about two years, laughing about how utterly ridiculous they had been for thinking that they could keep their relationship platonic.

As they finished up in the kitchen, their conversation gradually became more serious and sentimental as memories of dangerous missions were brought up. They even compared their own lists of top ten villains and found out that they had both placed Slade Wilson at the top of the list. They both thought that he was the fiercest enemy that they had gone up against, so far. Slade was not a meta-human with superpowers, not an alien, and not like Damian Darkh who had mystical powers. Yes, he had Mirakuru running through his veins, but what made him the scariest and most formidable foe of all was the fact that he had known Oliver so well and had started out as a friend before becoming his most vengeful enemy. The thought alone sent shivers down Felicity's spine, and she told him that she was going to check in with Lyla the next day to make sure that Slade was still locked up securely in the ARGUS facility on Lian Yu.

When it came to their top five lists of regrets, Oliver did not waste time doing a countdown. He immediately said that the thing he regretted most in life was not getting on his father's boat. It was not cheating on Laurel with Sara. It was not having to choose between Shado or Sara in front of Ivo. And it was not even lying to Felicity, though he admitted that it came to a very close second. He regretted most that he was unable to save his mother from Slade's sword. He disclosed to Felicity with unshed tears that the very moment when Slade thrust his blade through Moira's heart, he had wanted to die. Nothing in his life had been more heart-wrenching and painful than watching his mother die right in front of him and not being able to do anything about it. Felicity wrapped her arms around him to comfort him as he recalled that night, reassuring him that none of it was his fault.

As they moved to the living room with two wine glasses and a bottle of red wine, they talked about their top five most frightening near-death experiences. Once again, Oliver was as quick to speak as he was in shooting an arrow. He told Felicity that the scariest of all was driving their limousine through the ambush set up by Darkh's ghosts, pulling her bloody body out of the wrecked vehicle, and running several blocks to Starling General with her unconscious and bleeding in his arms on Christmas Eve. He confessed to her that the prospect of losing her had been more frightening than the duel he fought with Ra's al Ghul on that snowy mountain top where he ended up with the Demon's sword in between his ribs. This time, it was Oliver that wrapped his arms around Felicity, finding comfort once again in her warmth. He needed to feel her close to be reassured that she was really right there with him.

They snuggled together on the couch in front of the fire, simply delighting in each other's company in the quietness of their home. They recalled the day's dare, which they had read from the journal before getting ready to go to the clinic for the doctor's appointment that morning. "Love is enough." It certainly was for them, they thought. The Scripture text had said, "And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love." The day's challenge had them talk about the defining moments in their lives from the very beginning of their relationship up until the present, and that was exactly what they had done since dinner. They've truly gone through so much, suffered so much, and endured so much. They rediscovered how their love for each other has grown through the years, in spite of all the hurdles and the hurts. They reaffirmed their love and commitment to each other and sealed it with a toast and a heartfelt kiss.

They also celebrated his recovery and their return to work the next day by doing a Star Wars movie marathon, falling asleep on the couch long before the closing credits of Episode III had finished rolling.

 

Day 38

The sun was up, shining brightly on Star City. Thanks to the sunshine that illumined the Loft through its floor-to-ceiling glass walls and windows, Mr. and Mrs. Queen finally woke up on the couch.

Very late. They had overslept due to the movie marathon.

The words that were coming out of Felicity's lips as they hurriedly got dressed for work were crisp and, well, needless to say, not for public consumption. Oliver tried to get her to calm down with gentle touches, but she kept swatting his hand away, saying, "Oliver! We're already late as it is!"

When he finally caught her near the door to their bathroom, cupping both her cheeks with his hands, he said with his deep, growly Arrow voice, "Felicity Megan Smoak, relax." He then kissed her. The way that he knew made her heart melt and her knees give way.

When he pulled back, she was no longer tense. She was instead light-headed, and her face was red as a tomato. She shook her head, smoothened non-existent wrinkles from her dress, and cleared her throat. With a slightly higher tone of voice, she said to him, "I'll see you later. I'll come by your office at lunch hour with Big Belly." Then she picked up her purse, her car keys, and her coat and marched out of their bedroom without looking back. She was already halfway down the stairs when she hollered, "Oh, and bring the journal with you! We can read it together later. Love you!"

Oliver resumed work at City Hall. No one called him out on being an hour late because, of course, it was nothing new to the mayor's staff. Thea worked closely with him, assisting him in every way she could. She answered all his questions, briefed him on the important things he had missed, and reported about the meetings she or Alex had attended on his behalf.

Felicity was also happy to be back at Palmer Tech, but maybe not half as happy as Curtis, who had been covering for her and taking over most of her responsibilities for more than a week. She attended a Board meeting, which lasted for two long, boring hours. Her mind was somewhere else; actually, it was preoccupied with Oliver. Truth be told, she was still a tad bit worried about him returning to work. She had gotten used to the routine of taking care of him like a doting mother, something that was absolutely foreign to her prior to his injury. If she were totally honest, she enjoyed taking care of him and serving him in the past week, and she was itching to check on him. Right in the middle of the Board meeting. She was caught texting Oliver just as Mr. Dennis asked her what she thought about the proposed retrenching of maintenance personnel. She was a bit embarrassed, like a deer caught in the headlights, but she managed to charm her way out of it by saying that she had always been pro-laborers and believed that Palmer Tech's HRD executives were smart enough to find a better way to cut down on operational expense without letting anybody on the payroll go.

By the time the clock struck twelve noon, Felicity was already scurrying across the spacious lobby of Palmer Tech. Diggle was waiting for her in the car on the curb in front of the building. He drove her straight to City Hall, having already bought Big Belly meals 'to go' before picking her up from work. Oliver was glad to see her in the middle of a complicated first day back at work. They shared a meal with Diggle, who asked to be excused to run an errand for Lyla as soon as his burger disappeared from his hands.

Felicity had noticed that Oliver was kind of fidgety while they were having lunch. She wasn't worried that there might be a problem though, because he didn't seem troubled. He looked more like excited and amused, and she was very curious as to what it might be about. As soon as she swallowed her last bite and sipped what was left of her soda, she brought it up. "So, what's been keeping you at the edge of your seat?" she asked Oliver.

"What?"

"Don't play dumb with me. You're excited about something," she insisted.

"I'm not exactly sure 'excited' is the right word to describe how I'm feeling," he admitted.

"Well then, maybe we can talk about it. As you know, my vocabulary is pretty wide. Maybe if you describe your feelings well enough, I can actually think of the precise word for it," she proposed with a mischievous tone.

Oliver smiled sheepishly, looking down and avoiding Felicity's gaze. After a moment of contemplation, he decided to take her up on her offer even if he wasn't sure how she was going to respond to what he had to share. He looked up at his wife and loosened his tie a bit.

"Felicity, it's about the journal."

"What about the journal? Don't tell me you left it at home!"

"No! I brought it with me," he assured her. "In fact, I did some advanced reading earlier, while waiting for you to get here, and…"

"And?"

"And the day's entry is about… I think… I don't know how…"

"Honey," she addressed him with a slightly impatient tone of voice, "usually I'm the one talking in sentence fragments. The dares are almost done. Whatever today's dare is, I'm sure it's something we can talk through and deal with."

"Well, sure," he responded, "that is, if you think you're up to it."

Felicity's eyes narrowed. She was even more intrigued at what was causing her brave, big boy to act like a timid, tiny toddler. She stood up, walked towards his desk, and picked up the leather-bound journal. She opened it to the page he had bookmarked with a pen and began to read. After reading the first sentence, her mouth gaped open and her eyebrows shot up to her hairline. She then blinked several times and swallowed hard.

"Love meets sexual needs." That was what the journal said. She bit her lower lip and read on. The Scripture text said, "The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband." The journal explained that marriage is honorable and that intimacy between a husband and wife is something pure and sacred because it is a symbol of their promise to belong to each other for better or for worse. It went further to say that physical intimacy is the sign of an exclusive lifetime covenant between spouses, which is why it must not be entered into prematurely out of whim, unbridled passion, or self-centered lust, and why it must not be shared with a third party if the relationship is to thrive in pure fidelity.

Felicity also read that sexual intimacy is something that both spouses can derive pleasure from; it is a gift, a celebration of the union of two people who have vowed to love each other unconditionally. This wasn't new to her, for she absolutely found pleasure being that close to her husband so many times before. But then the journal went on to say that it is unwise to deprive one another of this gift for selfish reasons or for extended periods of time because sexual love is meant to meet the physical needs of one's spouse, and intentional deprivation only leads to frustration and dissatisfaction between spouses. The dare for the day said, "If at all possible, try to initiate sex with your husband or wife today. Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually. Let it be enjoyable for both of you, as well as a path to greater intimacy."

Felicity closed the book and blew air out of her mouth. "Wow!" she exclaimed, "This is the first time I've ever been commanded to have sex with someone."

"There's always a first time," Oliver joked. "And it's not like we have no choice but to obey an order. It did say, 'if at all possible…' "

She tilted her head, gazed at him, and did that thing with her lips that made her adorably cute – much like the first time they met in her IT cubicle all those years ago when she was chewing on a red pen. It took his breath away.

"So… is it possible? I mean, are you up to the challenge?" he asked courageously. He earnestly wanted to know. Because even before she arrived, he had made up his mind that he was going to let her take the lead on this one. He wasn't going to force her to do this if she wasn't ready. He'd waited this long; he could wait a little longer. What mattered to him was that she wouldn't feel like she was cornered into intimacy prematurely.

"Are you?" she replied calmly with the same question.

"Felicity, I see what you're doing here, but I asked you first," he said, standing up from his chair and moving closer to her. He placed his hand on her hand, which was anchored to his desk.

"Well... yes, it is. Possible, I mean," she replied, a blush creeping up from her neck to her cheeks.

"Yes?" he asked again to make sure he heard her right.

"Oliver, I've wanted to… for a few days now," she confirmed, "but you weren't fully recovered, and I guess the timing hadn't been right."

Oliver smiled. He looked at his beautiful wife and tucked a stray strand of blonde locks behind her ear.

It was Felicity's turn to ask, "And you? Do you… want to?" Her cheeks, all the way to her ears, turned redder than before.

"Honey, I not only want to… I want you," Oliver confessed, his eyes darkening with desire. "I've missed being with you…that way." He caressed the back of her hand with his thumb.

Felicity looked down at their hands on the desk. A smile began to form on her face as she shifted their hands for their fingers to interlace. She missed him, and she wanted him that way, too. They had gotten so close a few times in the past few days, but the timing hadn't felt right. Maybe they needed one final push, and the journal had given them exactly what they needed. What better time than tonight, she thought. She figured if she and her husband were going to be doing something as special and sacred as this, as a culmination of their reconciliation and to rekindle their physical intimacy, then they might as well begin tonight.

She squeezed his hand, looked up to meet his sparkling blue eyes, and said with the smile that she reserved only for him, "It's a date then. I'll see you back at the Loft at seven."

She kissed him passionately, slightly tugging down his tie, and then she walked out of his office. Before she closed the door behind her, she turned around for one last look. She licked her lower lip and bit it, smiling at him with a naughty twinkle in her eye. Oliver's heart stopped as the door closed shut. That woman would be the death of him. He had to get ready for tonight.

Oliver clocked out of City Hall with the rest of the employees. He took off his jacket in the car and directed his driver to the supermarket. He asked Thea to meet him at the Loft and help him prepare the best dinner ever for Felicity, but first he had to make a stop to pick up all the things he needed. He thought of all her favorite dishes and selected her favorite appetizer, salad, entrée and side dishes, and dessert. He even bought a bottle of Chateau Lafite Rothschild, which he knew she adored. He and Thea went to work as soon as he got home. He had to be done before Felicity arrived so that he can have ample to time shower and freshen up.

Felicity, on the other hand, left the office early. It was the first time she worked under time on the same day that she had come in tardy. But she was the CEO, and as her own boss, she cut herself some slack. She went straight to the mall and spent two hours trying on lingerie and sleepwear in a couple of her favorite stores, which she had not visited in almost a year (an indication of the dismal state of her sexual life, which thankfully, was about to be remedied in a few hours). When she finally found the right ensemble that she hoped her husband would appreciate, she purchased it and went straight to the spa.

**********************

At 7:00 sharp, Felicity was home. She had just shut the front door when Oliver came down the stairs to greet her.

"Hey," he said, approaching her and then giving her a peck on the lips. "Dinner's almost ready. Let me just go set the table while you freshen up."

"Okay," she said. She put down her keys and her purse on the table and removed her coat. She went upstairs carrying her shopping bag, to change from office clothes, while Oliver prepared the dinner table.

When she came down and looked at the meal her husband had prepared, she smiled from ear to ear. Oliver had outdone himself yet again. She recognized her favorite recipes of his, from the appetizer to the main course. She was proud to be Mrs. Queen.

Dinner went by more quickly than usual. It was obvious that they were both anxious to get to the better part of the evening. Felicity thanked him for a fantastic, flavor-filled meal and praised him for yet another episode of Master Chef right in their own home. Oliver offered to clean up by himself so that she could get ready. He had noticed the shopping bag she had with her when she got home; he recognized the logo of her favorite lingerie shop, and became excited for what she had in store. She, on the other hand, couldn't wait to put on what she had bought earlier to surprise him. The feelings of excitement and anticipation were mutual.

Of all the dares that the journal had asked him to do, this one was definitely among the dearest. Unbeknownst to him, Felicity felt the exact same way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope you liked this update? I'm sorry if I left the ending hanging a bit there. This story is still rated for General Audiences after all. ;-) More on what happened to that dare in the next chapter, which will be the last. The epilogue may be included in that, or it may be posted as a short, separate chapter.
> 
> So if you haven't already left a review or comment on this story previously, you may want to do that as we conclude, at your convenience of course. Thanks once again for reading and following. I appreciate you all, including the Guests that leave Kudos, for which I am not able to thank you directly. 
> 
> Happy Holidays, one and all, and may the good news of CHRISTmas bring you joy!


	20. Done Dares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's what happened to Olicity's special night... and everything else that happened thereafter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year, everyone! This is my new year's gift to you all - the final chapter of this story - one week early. I hope that you will enjoy this ending. And for the last time, THANK YOU VERY MUCH for reading, following, favorite-ing, and reviewing this! It was such a wonderful writing experience for me to have done this multi-chapter fic. So if you could make time, please do leave your comments as we bid farewell to this story. It would be nice to here from you, knowing that you have stayed with the story until the end. A blessed and prosperous 2017 to you!

Day 39

T.G.I.F. That was the first thought that crossed Oliver's mind when he woke up the next day at the crack of dawn. It wasn't really because he was looking forward to the weekend since it was the last day of the work week; he had only been back at City Hall for two days. It was really because it was the most satisfying Friday morning he knew he would remember waking up to. So far.

Oliver looked down at the naked woman pressed against his side under the duvet with him. His Felicity. His wife. She was beautiful. She was precious. She was the gift he got to unwrap last night.

In keeping with their mutually desired goal to fulfill yesterday's dare, he had volunteered to clear the dinner table and put away the dishes in the washer by himself so that she could get ready. And boy, was she ready by the time he made it to their bedroom. The light, fresh, aromatic scent of lavender filled the room. The bedside lamps had not been turned on because she had set up white candles of different sizes all around the room instead. It was as if she had tried to recreate their first night in Nanda Parbat (minus Ra's al Ghul's ultimatum and the assassins lurking around their room). How she managed to disable the smoke detector attached to the ceiling, he didn't know, neither did he care to figure out. She apparently had more than just lingerie stashed in the big shopping bag she had brought home. The set-up was nothing, though, compared to his wife's get-up for their special evening.

Felicity had bought and worn an off-shoulder lace tunic that ended mid-thigh, with the sleeves flowing up to just below her elbows. The soft, translucent material had revealed the matching satin and lace two-piece underwear she had worn underneath. Best of all, she had intentionally picked a lingerie ensemble in his favorite color of all – deep forest green. As Oliver recalled how utterly stunning and desirable she looked in her three-piece ensemble, he smiled as he wondered where each piece had ended up, having been discarded ever so gently, one piece at a time, at his prompting and with her permission.

Oliver had always thought that his wife was gorgeous, but last night, she had taken gorgeous to a whole new level. The moment he had entered the room and saw her emerging from their en suite bathroom, he had been entranced and frozen in place at the threshold, mouth gaping open, eyes forgetting to blink, and heart pounding as he took in her alluring appearance. Everything about her was beautiful. It wasn't just her physical body and what she had been wearing – both of which his eyes, his hands, and his lips had feasted on almost the entire night. It was more than just the smile she flashed at him and the gleam in her bright blue eyes as soon as their gazes met. It was the light in her soul. Who she was on the inside-out had made her the most beautiful, most desirable woman in the world in his adoring eyes.

Oliver had thought that after a long time of not being together intimately because of conflicts that almost led to divorce, things would feel awkward or tense between them, but when Felicity had approached him at the doorway, wrapped her arms around his neck, and initiated the first kiss, his apprehensions faded away as he took her into his firm but tender embrace. Every kiss, every touch, every movement had been an expression of love, devotion, and passion between them – each one more intense than the one before. Whenever their eyes had been open and their gazes had met, he had seen in her eyes that she welcomed him in every way. So he drank her in like refreshing waters from the fountain of her love until he had become intoxicatingly full.

He had made love with his wife last night once more, and it had been… incredible. And why wouldn't it have been? They had finally reconciled over the past week, and the issues and conflicts that drove them apart had been resolved one day at a time. Their coming together intimately again had simply and naturally followed suit, like a chain reaction set off by the all-consuming want to be one flesh again. He and Felicity had been intimate numerous times before – before and after they were married – and he could recall several times when those moments had been extremely pleasurable, especially after they became officially and legally a couple. But last night? It had topped the charts. This time, there had been no question that they belonged to each other as man and wife; thus, there was no fear that the pleasures they shared would not last.

They hadn't done anything new actually, as he recalled. He believed with all his heart that their changed attitudes and selfless motives had made the world of difference between last night and the previous nights they had already shared in the past. There had been no more malice, no pretense, no guilt, and no doubts. They had brought no unrealistic expectations borne out of selfish demands into their moment. Enraptured in blissful romance, there was no longer an anxious care about their ability or inability to conceive because they had that issue settled once and for all. Forgiveness had replaced lies and hatred. Unconditional love and acceptance had set them free to experience the satisfaction of sexual union as it was meant to be – passionate and pure, unadulterated by reckless, indulgent lust, and devoid of the pressure exerted either by borrowed time or stolen opportunities, the need to compensate for shortcomings or regrets, or the expectation to perform. They had risen above the hurts of the past and the fears of the future, and they simply basked in the pleasures of the present. They had enjoyed each other after several months of denying the other of the physical pleasure that they both had equal rights to as a married couple.

At the height of their intimacy, "I love you's" had been ecstatically and emphatically exchanged. As they relaxed into the afterglow, happy tears had rolled down her cheeks – tears that he had wiped off her face with his lips. He had gathered her into his arms affectionately, and they had thanked each other for being willing to meet each other's needs. They had fallen asleep in each other's embrace, grateful that they had, at last, boldly faced their fears, they had willingly let go of bitterness and blame, and they had resolutely chosen to give their marriage a fresh start.

*************************

"Good morning," Felicity said softly, almost like a moan. "Good morning," Oliver replied, his voice muffled as he spoke while pressing his lips on the bare skin of her shoulder. "Mmm…" she groaned at the contact. She looked up and returned the kiss on his neck. "I can tell you've been awake for quite a while. I can practically feel and hear you thinking," she said.

He just smiled, amused by her intuitiveness. She knew him all too well.

"So…?" she inquired of him.

"I was just thinking about how amazing you are… how much I love you… and how blessed we are to have been given another chance," he replied, pulling her even closer to himself.

She moved her hand from where it had rested on his chest to wrap her arm around his waist. "Oh," she responded, her voice lighter. She was evidently thinking of fond thoughts herself. "I thought, after last night, you would have been imagining blonde and blue-eyed baby Queens keeping us up all night in a year or two." They both chuckled at the thought.

He shifted position and turned to face her completely. The arm that had been folded underneath his head made its way around her smooth-skinned back. Both his arms were now wrapped around Felicity. "That's a happy thought," he remarked, reminiscing a time when she had asked him if he ever had any happy thoughts since the island. He wondered if wishful thinking could one day become reality. He then asked her, "Have you been dreaming of blonde and blue-eyed babies?"

"Of course! For a long time, actually. I've always pictured a little boy, running around the house with a toy bow and arrow, imitating your growly voice and saying 'Daddy, you have failed this city,'" she joked, mimicking the Green Arrow's scary face.

Oliver smirked, but he kept going though, "What about a little girl? A mini you, but with naturally golden locks tied up in a ponytail, who would one day wear dark-rimmed glasses while hacking into her mother's security protocols just to be able to access the Internet."

"Aww… I wouldn't want our daughter wearing prescription lenses like me at such a young age," she complained.

"Not as much as I would hate for our son to be shooting arrows with rubber suction cup tips, thinking that the babysitter was some bad guy that needed to be crossed off some list," he counter-protested.

"I don't think that would be a problem with our prospective pool of babysitters. Thea and Laurel are more than capable of defending themselves," she reasoned, and then second-guessed herself. "On second thought, scratch that. My mom would be in so much trouble."

"I think Donna will do fine. She's a strong woman," Oliver commented. "She survived you, didn't she?" he teased her.

"Hey!" Felicity interjected, attempting to push him away. She failed to do it though, as her husband held on to her more tightly and locked her legs within one of his own, stroking a hand up and down her spine. That very quickly changed her mind about wanting to move away.

"Honey, I was just kidding," he said to her, as he felt her yielding to him. "But on a more serious note, do you think we would ever get our wish?" He asked, considering what the doctors' forecast had been regarding his fertility most recently.

Felicity knew what he was driving at, but she chose not to reinforce negative thoughts. Instead, she giggled and naughtily remarked, "After how well last night turned out, we better! If we keep this up on a regular basis, there'd be no need to recruit a new generation of Team Arrow heroes in the future. Protecting Star City would become a family tradition."

His brows furrowed slightly at the thought of the scenario she presented. "I was kind of hoping that we would have done our job of keeping the city safe by the time our little ones are weaned from bottles and diapers. It would be nice to finally hang up the hood and raise a normal family together, don't you think so?" He did not take offense at her last comment; he was just engaged in more pensive thoughts, hoping against hope that his aspiration would someday be granted.

"I don't know," she replied with uncertainty. "Sure, it would be nice for Star City to finally be peaceful and safe so that we could retire from vigilante-ing, but I'm surely going to miss the crime-fighting career that I had stumbled upon when I met you. Because… not only do I love spending my nights with you…" she said, pausing to relish the memory of when she first babbled those words inappropriately while she protested her promotion as his EA back in the days. "…I also happen to think that it would be an honor to pass on the legacy of heroism to our children and grandchildren."

Oliver smiled. He was always amused and awed whenever Felicity was giant steps ahead of him. He had nothing but admiration for her brilliance and positive perspective of things, no matter how ugly. There he was, looking forward to a time when he could turn a new leaf and start a new chapter in his life – one that did not involve people he cared about being threatened or dying. But his wife was even more proud of what they had accomplished so far, seeing it in a positive light as an honorable legacy that they can unashamedly leave behind for the next generation to follow.

Oliver sighed with pride in the woman he had chosen to become his partner for life. He kissed her with ardent devotion, letting her know how much he appreciated having her in his arms, in his life. She kissed him back with the same fervency, letting him know that she no longer regretted staying in his arms, in his life.

When they finally came up for air, he spoke, "I'm just going to empty my bladder for a while. When I come back, let's do the journal."

She was smiling at him when she replied, "Okay, great! But hurry up, will you? My bladder's been begging for relief too."

Oliver got up and out of bed. Felicity wrapped herself with the duvet like an egg roll and got up after him, going for the journal that was still in her bag (which she remembered having placed on the table near the door when she had gone up after dinner last night, but was now on the floor, its contents scattered, probably because it had been displaced by two very enthusiastic individuals who had been too passionately occupied with each other to notice). She couldn't stop smiling like crazy now. She wondered if the day's dare would be just as fantastic as the previous challenge. She had certainly been pleased with that one.

***********************

"Love is a covenant," Oliver and Felicity read together. They both knew what a covenant was, so it was not that difficult to grasp what the journal entry's message meant. It reinforced what they already understood. Loving one's spouse is making a promise that is meant to be kept for life – a promise to remain faithful and committed to the relationship whatever the cost. Those were mere words when they had stood in front of the altar two years ago, no matter how sincerely they had meant those words when they had first spoken them. But after what they had gone through, theory became a life principle that they now held close to their hearts and wanted to live by. They now understood that loving each other was different from compromises and deals and more binding than most truces and treatises that two parties get into. It was a solemn agreement that must never be broken for as long as they were still breathing, never be withdrawn from despite the other spouse's faults and failures, and never be dissolved even when giving up and walking away feel like the best and only recourse to escape discomfort and hurt.

Love is a covenant. It meant that their souls were bound to each other, and breaking their covenant meant breaking their hearts. The implication is that they were to let nothing and no one come between them; the only time that jealousy was justified was when something or someone does, and when that happens, either of them could rightly fight to reclaim the other's loyalty.

The challenge for the day was not as sappy as the one from the day before, but Felicity wasn't disappointed, and neither was Oliver. The dare was solemn, and perhaps more difficult to pull off, if they were to take it seriously. They were supposed to write out a renewal of their vows and place them somewhere in their home, and if appropriate, they were to make arrangements to formally renew their wedding vows before a minister and with family present. These acts were intended to get them to be accountable to the people who care about them the most, as well as to be a living testament to their reconciliation and recommitment to marriage until death did them part.

Just one exchange of knowing looks was shared, and immediately, Oliver and Felicity knew that they were both excited to go for it.

As soon as Felicity reached Palmer Tech that day, she had her assistant arrange for the company's private jet for a special round trip the next day, and then she called her mother and spoke to Curtis afterwards. Oliver, on the other hand, had his secretary book City Hall's resident chaplain for a renewal of vows ceremony the next day, and delegated to Thea the calls that needed to be made for the small number of guests that they wanted to be witnesses of this important event in their lives.

Day 40

The next day, Oliver and Felicity renewed their marriage vows before the chaplain in the presence of family and friends at sunrise on the tranquil shores of a beach at Lian Yu on the opposite side of where the covert ARGUS prison facility was. They were grateful for everything that life had brought their way – both the good and the bad – which not only had made them change for the better but also had led them to each other. Lian Yu represented Oliver Queen's torment and transformation, a major turning point in his life, which had not only led him to live the life of an unsung hero but also had led him to Felicity Smoak. It was only fitting to have exchanged renewed vows there; it was a symbol of their mutual desire to leave the past behind and move on with their lives. He and she were leaving their purgatories behind and were moving on to face their future together.

The Palmer Tech jet had flown everyone to China where everyone had taken two helicopters to the island to be present at this most auspicious yet very private event. Donna and Quentin were there. John and Lyla Diggle were there, and so were Thea and Laurel and Curtis. Even Roy Harper had made it to the airport just in time for their midnight flight, the Diggles having arranged safe passage for him into Star City using ARGUS resources and protocols. Oliver had wanted for William to be there, but when he found out from his initial talk with his son's stepfather that William did not have a passport yet, he had no longer pursued the invitation. Doctors Henderson and Kumar had also been invited, but they couldn't make it on such short notice because of scheduled medical procedures the next morning. Barry Allen, Cisco Ramon, and Caitlyn Snow had been invited as well, but Zoom was on the loose, wreaking havoc in Central City, so they had to leave without their Team Flash friends. Felicity had been unsuccessful in making contact with Sara Lance and Ray Palmer, who most probably had been busy time-traveling and fixing aberrations in the historical timeline with the rest of the Legends.

And of course, Walter Steele was present. It was the fortieth and final day of the Love Dare Challenge, and he was the one that Oliver and Felicity had asked to read the last journal entry towards the end of the short, simple ceremony. "Love conquers all," Walter read aloud in his finely polished British accent. "For those of you who are here with your spouse and partner for life," he improvised as he read on, "take this moment to tell him or her that no matter what, you will never dare give up on them. Promise to never leave them nor forsake them whatever life may bring." Everyone was quiet as he read, and on his cue, the couples present did as the journal challenged them to do.

After the simple but meaningful renewal of vows ceremony, Oliver brought Felicity and Thea to a secret gravesite and introduced his wife to his father. "Hey, Dad," Oliver spoke as he knelt down before the mound of dirt covered with rocks and stones, which marked where he had buried Robert Queen's remains years ago. "I'd like you to meet a very special person. Her name is Felicity. She's the love of my life, and she's your daughter-in-law. I'm sure if you would have had the chance to get to know her, you would have loved her like I do. Thea does, and she's here, too." He paused, looking at his sister for approval. Thea smiled at her brother, kneeling down beside him.

"I miss you, and I miss Mom," he said softly, his voice breaking when he remembered how his mother's life had been cut short by the man imprisoned on the same island, a man who once had been his friend. "I… I've been trying to save our city, to make it a better, safer place… like you asked me to. Thea's helping me now. Felicity is, too. She's my partner." He then looked at Felicity and smiled, wiping a lone tear on his cheek with the back of his hand. Felicity placed her hand on his shoulder to reassure him. "I'm also the mayor now. Can you believe it? With the help of Thea and Felicity and a few other friends, I now protect the city night and day. I've tried to honor your dying wish with their help, and… and in the process, I've become someone else, someone better. I only wish you could see me now."

Felicity stood and watched quietly as Oliver and Thea shed some tears before their father's grave, giving them much-needed time. She also wondered what it would have been like if she had met Robert Queen in person. Would he have liked her? Walter Steele did. Moira? Felicity may never know; the Queen matriarch's life had been cut short too soon. It was sad they had been unable to settle their differences over telling Oliver about Thea's parentage.

While they were at the gravesite, John and Lyla Diggle checked on the prisoners of the ARGUS facility before rejoining the rest of the wedding party. As soon as they returned to the beach to rejoin the rest of the group, they reported to Oliver that Slade Wilson, Damian Darkh, and the masterminds of H.I.V.E were still alive and secure in their isolated prison cells. Oliver appreciated that, and everyone in the Team was relieved.

The helicopters brought everyone back to China where they boarded the jet back to Star City in time for a simple late afternoon reception at the Loft. Doctors Henderson and Kumar were able to make it, so the Queens and their family and friends were able to express their heartfelt thanks for what they had done for Oliver. Dr. Kumar was just about to let it slip that he was more than glad to have helped the Green Arrow when Felicity somehow managed to redirect the conversation in order to keep her husband's secret identity hidden from her mother and from Walter Steele, who were the only two people in the group that still didn't know about it.

When everyone had eaten, Oliver raised his glass of red wine and offered a toast, "Thank you, all, for coming. You are all special to me and Felicity, and it meant a lot to us for you to have witnessed us renewing our vows on the island. From now on, I can look back at Lian Yu and not regret everything about it anymore. I can think about it and remember the beautiful, brilliant, amazing woman whom I promised to cherish for the rest of my life – the woman who loved me in spite of who I was, who still loves me enough to forgive me and take me back even if I don't deserve it, and who likewise promised that she will keep on loving me despite my imperfections. Here's to Felicity Megan Smoak Queen – the light of my life, and my always."

"To Felicity!" Thea cheered. "To Felicity!" everyone cheered.

After everyone took a swig of their wines, Felicity declared, "I get to offer a toast, too!"

"Of course, you do," Donna said with a twinkle in her eye.

"I offer this toast to love and marriage, and to everyone here who would dare to take this difficult yet life-changing challenge to love someone unconditionally for a lifetime – like I have," Felicity said, gazing at Oliver with so much affection in her eyes. "To love dares and happiness!" she cheered.

"To love dares and happiness!" Oliver and the rest of the group cheered after her.

After sipping their wines, Oliver and Felicity intertwined their hands and gave each other a kiss while their family and friends applauded.

More than a month ago, Oliver had wondered if his love was strong enough to win back his wife after failing her miserably. On the fortieth day of the challenge, he told his wife that he had come to believe in two things: first, that his love had indeed been strong enough, and second, that her love had been strong enough to give him another chance, too.

 

Epilogue

Oliver and Felicity followed through with fertility treatments and kept trying to get pregnant, but after a couple of years of trying, they decided to just let nature take its course. They loved each other, and they nurtured their relationship with more understanding and better communication, with forgiveness each time either one had made an intentional or unintentional mistake, with patience as they struggled with patterns of behavior that irritated or hurt the other. Even in the absence of children of their own.

William became the apple of their eyes. That first meeting between him and Felicity had gone very well. The boy became an instant fan of Felicity's technical skills, and he found in his step-mom a partner in playing online games and watching sci-fi and superhero movie marathons. The weekend visits to Central City led to sleepovers in Star City, until William started to ask for holiday and summer vacations with Oliver and Felicity, which was fine with his stepfather and his stepfather's new wife. The three of them went to Rockets games whenever William came over, and one time, the mayor arranged for his son to throw the starting pitch for a game, which the boy raved about and bragged among his peers for a month.

It didn't take long for Felicity to fall in love with her husband's son. It was like looking at Oliver when he was a boy, so she adored William and learned to treat him like her own child. On William's twelfth birthday, the boy hugged her so tight before she and Oliver left and whispered, "Felicity, may I call you Mama?" Felicity's breath hitched; she was surprised at what William had asked for that she couldn't speak. She blinked several times to keep her tears from falling. Her lips quivered, and before she could say anything, William added, "I mean, I know you're not my real mother and I'm not your son, really. But I feel like I am, even when you and Dad live so far away. I used to call my real mother Mommy, and now I call my step-dad's wife Mom. So, can I call you Mama?" Felicity welcomed the boy with open arms and hugged him back. "Of course, you can, Will!" she replied enthusiastically, looking up at Oliver who was just as awed by the moment as she was. "I would love for you to call me Mama. Anytime." Oliver knelt down and gathered them both into his arms for a group hug.

By the time Oliver finished his second term as mayor of Star City, Felicity had become the majority stock holder of Palmer Tech, and with Ray's permission, had finally succeeded in renaming the company Queen Incorporated. The Board voted unanimously for her to become the President of the company, in addition to being its CEO, and for Oliver to be reinstated and appointed as CFO. Together they ran the company by day, and this time, office gossip had it that the QI's CEO personally brought the CFO coffee regularly. At the end of the work day, Star City's power couple usually shared a home-cooked meal courtesy of Oliver and then secretly left the Loft for the bunker to join the Team.

Team Arrow had also grown from a group of four to eight vigilantes, fighting crime and aiding the SCPD in maintaining peace and order in the city. Curtis had begun to put both his technical and Olympian athletic skills to good use. Rene Ramirez a.k.a. Wild Dog, Rory Regan a.k.a. Ragman, and Evelyn Sharp a.k.a. Artemis had also joined the Team. The new recruits had fondly called Oliver and Felicity "mom and dad," and oh, how Dig, Thea, and Laurel loved to tease them for that.

During Oliver's last term as mayor, Team Arrow had quelled a few attempts of local gangs to revive Vertigo drug trade or to smuggle illegal weapons into the U.S. through Star City's docks with the connivance of corrupt police officers, stopped the re-entry of the Triad into the city, and prevented an impending war between the Bratva and the Italian mob. But other than those, the city had become more peaceful and safer than ever. There were nights that were only spent patrolling, and when not much action was seen after six months, Oliver decided to pair off the members of the team and put each pair on rotation. Soon, team members got used to "vigilante duty," and were glad to spend more of their evenings at home with family or going out with friends, doing what "normal people" usually do.

A week before Oliver and Felicity's seventh wedding anniversary, she found herself pregnant. At first, she couldn't believe her eyes. Two pink lines appeared on the pregnancy test she was staring at on the bathroom counter. When she squealed in shock, Oliver ran from the kitchen where he was brewing coffee and burst into the bathroom, thinking that something bad had happened to her. He gripped both her shoulders and asked, "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"No… I'm not hurt. I'm pregnant!" she replied emphatically.

"What?" Oliver asked in disbelief.

"I… We… We're going to have… a baby," she answered in between deep breaths. She bit her lower lip and then pointed to the pregnancy test lying on the counter behind him.

When Oliver turned around to see what she was pointing at, his eyes widened and his eyebrows lifted. He was speechless, but he was overjoyed. He turned back to his wife and beamed at her with pride. He took her in his arms and lifted her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck, and said, "Congratulations, Mr. Queen! You're going to be a father again."

"Felicity," he responded, "you have made me the happiest man on the face of the earth once again." Then he kissed her affectionately. When he broke the kiss, he said sweetly, "I love you."

"I love you more," she replied, smiling.

That same day, they got an appointment at the fertility clinic with Dr. Henderson, who said that it was his privilege to see them again after three years. Felicity's physical exam and sonogram confirmed that she was already four weeks pregnant. Henderson suggested they run some tests on Oliver, who obliged without much coaxing. The tests showed that his sperm count had significantly improved and was back to normal levels. The nights-off from Green Arrow business had done him some good after all.

***********************

Eight months later, Robert Thomas Queen was born. The nurse placed the baby in Oliver's arms, and the moment he laid eyes on his son, he understood what his mother had meant each time she had called him her "beautiful boy."

Two years later, Megan Moira Queen was born. It had been a difficult pregnancy for Felicity, and an even more dangerous delivery for her, when her blood pressure shot up and couldn't be controlled by plain medication just as the baby in her womb reached 38 weeks, so her OB-GYN had to do an emergency C-section. Oliver didn't want Felicity to have to go through the same ordeal again, and he certainly didn't want to risk having another child at her expense, so he had a heart-to-heart talk with his wife just before they put her under. The couple decided that two darling kids were blessings enough when they thought they'd never be able to become parents at all, so they asked the doctor to perform the ligation procedure while Felicity was still in the O.R.

Oliver and Felicity decided to leave the Loft after Meggy was born. They renovated the Queen Manor and moved back into it because they wanted their children to have plenty of room to run around and play. Truth be told, Felicity thought that the mansion was a bit of an overkill, but she knew how much it meant to Oliver for their kids to grow up where he and Thea had grown up. And yes, Robby and Meggy were like miniature versions of Ollie and Thea. Robby was sandy blonde, while Meggy was brunette like her mom and aunt. Robby tended to be slightly moody and broody, but he grew up into a sensitive young man who tended to be protective of his younger sister. Meggy was Speedy version 2.0 with a flair for fashion like her grandmother Donna, but with the elegance of her grandmother Moira. Oliver, was more than proud, however, that both their children demonstrated the same intelligence and technical prowess as their mother.

Oliver and Felicity Queen grew old together remembering the lessons from the Love Dares journal and putting into practice what they had learned that summer when they had almost given up on their marriage. Their love for each other overflowed to their children. When Robby got married, they passed on the journal to him and his bride for them to read and learn from, even before conflicts arose; they thought that an ounce of prevention was certainly better than a pound of cure. Robby was given strict instructions to complete the dares and pass the journal on to Meggy when it was her turn to tie the knot.

Oliver Queen outlived his wife, and just as the Reverse Flash revealed some years ago, he died in the ripe old age of 86. But not before having witnessed his greatest legacy – his grandson Robert Thomas Queen, Jr. taking up the hood, the bow, and the quiver of the son of the original Green Arrow.

*THE END*

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be just a one-shot, but I decided - with coaxing from some readers - that there's so much more to tell. This prologue was going to be followed by 10 chapters and an epilogue, but it has expanded into 18. I hope you like it and you come away with not just "feels" but also with valuable insights on love and relationships. 
> 
> Comments and reviews are welcome. They always make me smile.


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